Spirit of a Wild One--Part 3--Book 2 of The Healing Hearts series
by MissKitty4Adam
Summary: In this final part, Adam and his fiancée power toward their wedding despite danger, drama and a troubling physical ailment that plagues Adam along the way. Jody continues to be a light in the Cartwright family's lives and a few new characters are introduced, both good and evil to be found. Wrongs are righted, pasts conquered and comfort found in the company of love. Join me now!
1. Chapter 1

_Hello, my friends! I know that it has been some time but I hope that the final part of this story will delight and thrill all who read it! I am back with more adventures involving Adam, his family, his lovely fiancée, her father Frank, Abel Stoddard, a troublesome cousin of Adam's, Jody and several unsavory characters, the latter who will get their dues in due course! Along the way, all of the family find ways to cope with the ghosts of the past and move forward into a brighter future as they power toward the wedding of the century between Adam Cartwright and the lovely Evangeline Williams! Each character has demons that need to be laid to rest and none more than Adam as he comes to terms with himself and finds peace in the arms of "His Lady". He learns the true meaning of family and how every person deserves a chance to fly free of the past and find happiness. I hope this story brings peace to a few of you along the way who wrestle with your own pain that goes unseen by the world around you. My fondest wishes for your happiness, my dear readers, and thank you for taking the time to join me in my little universe! I would advise that those new to my story or others who might want to refresh your memories read the first two parts but I have also included the last chapter of Part 2 so that should help. Happy reading!_

 ** _The OC Characters-_**

 ** _Evangeline Williams-With the face of Catherine Zeta-Jones and the sweet spirit of a sensitive 27-year-old, she served as a nurse during the Civil War and now runs a restaurant/homeless shelter in Virginia City called "The Helping Hand". She lives in town with her father, Frank Williams._**

 ** _Frank Williams-The father of Evangeline and is a wealthy businessman from back East. He recently moved out with his daughter to get away from the old memories of his wife's death, three years before. Originally, he didn't care for Adam but now has a soft spot for the younger man._**

 _ **Katherine Stanton-A young woman of early twenties who has accompanied Abel Stoddard, Adam's grandfather, out to Nevada for Adam's wedding. She is considered to be Adam's cousin although Abel hasn't adopted her legally. Katherine is very close to Adam and holds a desperate love for him that has sheltered her heart from reliving the horrific death of her family in a house fire. Abel rescued her off the street at the tender age of ten and she has been under his care ever since.**_

 ** _Jody Grant-From the episode, "The Jacknife", both of his parents were killed by an epidemic and he made his way alone to the Ponderosa where Adam immediately took him under his wing. The boy is a joy in Adam's life but is also a challenge, considering that Jody's parents have only been dead for a month or so, Jody has trouble with horrid memories._**

 ** _Silas Anderson and his two thugs-They hold a deep hatred for the Cartwrights and are planning to steal a "pot" of gold that belongs to Jody Grant by right of will from his dead parents. The three are nothing but trouble and loom like a dark cloud behind the scenes, providing danger on the horizon._**

 ** _A final note-Adam has a recurring back problem, consisting of spontaneous back spasms that tear through him and leave him thoroughly exhausted. This aftershock problem dates back to his injury in "The Triangle". I thought that such a severe injury, he wouldn't suddenly be "just fine" so I did extensive research and have included this plotline as a way to not only keep a realistic feel but also to slow him down so he has to trust his family more to take care of him._**

The morning dawned with an air of hope and promise, the rising sun's rays spilling through its soft prison of clouds onto the mountains below. Horse whinnies floating on the cold breeze brought a feeling of contentment to the man's heart as he paused in his chores with a pitchfork in his hand. He smiled upon going to the barn door and seeing Jupiter prancing around his small band of mares out in the pasture. The stallion's black tail was held high in an arc as his slender legs flashed in a prideful high-step. Two of the mares looked up in interest but then appeared to be unimpressed so returned to their earnest grazing. Jupiter seemed unaffected as he raised up in a graceful rear, his front legs pumping the air, he rejoicing in his strength and good fortune of that morning.

Adam chuckled and returned to his duties. The family was still asleep, he having sneaked out early to do what he had been denied because of physical complications of late. His back muscles felt much better but had left him with a residual hitching limp as their soreness was still prevalent at times. Warm in his new black coat though, he was enjoying the solitude of the barn, the animals peaceful as they munched on the grain and hay he was giving them.

Coal whinnied in a high pitch from his stall, bringing Adam's attention to the little horse. "Alright, alright, little guy...I'm coming."

Adam retrieved the bucket of cow's milk by the stall and chuckled again as the foal plunged his head into the liquid almost up to his eyes. Loud slurping followed and another gentle smile showed Adam's ease as he sighed, thinking on if he was going to be able to do anything with the colt now that Jody had become so attached to it. The boy had hardly left the barn and had been choosing to spend most of his free time with his new friend. Raising the foal for his intended purpose didn't seem to be logical now. Adam shrugged to himself, knowing without debating it what he would do.

Footsteps entered the barn and Adam deciphered their author's identity without having to turn to see who it was. "Up a little early for you, aren't you, little brother?"

Joe chuckled at his brother's perceptiveness but proceeded in saddling his pinto without saying a word. Adam finished feeding Coal and moved to Joe's side. He said nothing as he leaned on the stall post and crossed his arms. Joe felt the dark eyes boring into his back and turned with a questioning look on his face as well.

"What's up? Don't ya have anything better to do than sneaking around and making a fellow feel jittery?"

Adam drew his head back with an eyebrow arcing. "That's what I was going to ask you. Why are you leaving before you thought any of us were up?"

Caught in his plan for subterfuge, Joe still didn't feel free to disclose what he was planning. But his oldest brother staring him down had never been a delightful prospect nor was it at this time either. Joe avoided the other man's knowing eyes and continued with gathering what he would need for the next few days. Cochise was saddled, his saddlebags checked and a bedroll tied on. Before Joe could lead his horse out of the stall though, Adam put out a hand and took hold of the pinto's reins.

"Joe, you're not going anywhere until I know one thing..."

Waiting for the rest of the ultimatum, Joe rolled his eyes at Adam's dramatic pause. "Hurry up and finish, will ya? I've got to be somewhere important but you're holding me up as usual. What do you want to know?"

"Does Pa know where you're going?"

Chewing his lip, Joe thought about disclosing the whole truth but settled on it being halved. "Yeah, Pa knows where I'm goin'. Anything else you want to know, Older Brother, or do we stand around all day like a couple of lazy cowhands while things need to be done?"

"When will you be back?"

"Before the pre-wedding party on Thursday, don't worry about that."

Adam's hand slipped from Cochise's reins to be draped on his other crossed arm. "Be careful..."

Joe nodded at the hidden affection and led his horse out into the morning sun. Adam remained where he was, listening to the sound of his brother disappearing down the trail. He then had a sudden urge to follow at a distance. He shook his head to quell that old habit to protect his youngest sibling and instead he stepped out of the barn, closed the door securely and returned to the house to help Hop Sing with breakfast before the other Cartwrights and Jody were up.

On the trail, Joe maneuvered his horse behind a jagged outcropping of rock and remained there for the next hour. Listening and looking for any signs of being followed for all of that time, he witnessed none and soon was satisfied. The way his brother had looked hadn't given Joe a reason to trust the fact that he wouldn't be tailed. His plan depended on the fact that no one knew where he was going except a select few. He had spun a half-truth for his pa's benefit and had thought it better not to say anything to Hoss about where he was going. The middle Cartwright wasn't known for being good at keeping secrets. That thought made Joe smile as he turned Cochise's head in the direction of Carson City. Not to find a few well-bred horses as a present for Adam's wedding, as had been told to Ben, but to secure the oldest Cartwright brother's safe future. Joe only hoped that he could do it with help from a few friends.

I* * * * *I

Evangeline awoke with a feeling of complete contentment following her into consciousness. She at once started, thinking that she needed to be at work just now but then she remembered that today, The Helping Hand was closed. She transitioned over onto her back in bed, her hair tousled as she glanced around the room. Sunshine was spilling through her bedroom window and the cold breeze fluttered the sheer drapes. Birds were singing in the trees and the faint sounds outside added to the quiet buzz of sound that was typical of a house located in town.

She stretched with abandon, her body enjoying its freedom of movement. Her thoughts went back to the events of the day before and she smiled, her stomach fluttering. Her hand moved to caress the open spot next to herself on the rumpled sheets that would soon be filled in less than one week's time. She turned her head to gaze at the picture frame on her side table and the face within that frame. She took the wooden object in hand and held it high, allowing the light to play on the sketch. A blissful smile touched her face as she put it down on the empty spot.

She lay back on her pillow, closing her eyes and remembering the whimsical upturn of his cupid-bow mouth those months ago that she had tried to capture. He had been fishing in a stream they had stopped at, the pole held loosely between his hands as he had glanced over at her drawing under a tree, although he hadn't known it was him that had been her subject. She had smiled back, as pleased to be alive then as she felt now on this beautiful morning.

Evangeline sighed, her eyes found the clock's face on the wall and she pulled herself from the comforts of her bed and her daydreams. After getting dressed in a beige riding habit, she ate a hurried breakfast that was still being enjoyed by Frank when she left. She then ordered her red-bay mare saddled by the stable boy who tended the horses kept by the Williams' family. Collecting her favorite horse, she was soon mounted and on her way, turning many heads of the townspeople at seeing Frank Williams' elegant daughter riding side-saddle out of Virginia City towards the Ponderosa.

About halfway to her destination, however, Evangeline came upon a buggy in the middle of the road by an intersection. There were no signs at this particular crossing so she rightly surmised that the occupants were attempting to figure out the correct way for them to travel. She directed her mare to come to an abrupt halt instead of continuing on.

At the sound of approaching hoofbeats, Katherine and Abel turned from their conversation over a hand-drawn map and looked up. A lady, dressed in a classy riding habit and looking very prim and proper on her beautiful mount, made Katherine have a double-take. Adam had sent a sketch that he had done of his fiancée to his adopted little sister and this woman appeared to bear a striking resemblance to his handiwork. Abel was now conversing with the lady who introduced herself as Evangeline Williams; the name solidified the suspicions of the younger woman in the buggy. That same name slipped by Abel though who was thinking of more frustrating matters.

"Do you need any help?" Evangeline asked with a smile.

Abel nodded, relieved and feeling tired, he not knowing much about land nor wanting to at the moment either. "We're trying to get to the Ponderosa but this monster of a map is useless. Could you be kind enough to tell us which way to go, young lady?"

"I'll do better than that. I'm heading to there myself, why don't you follow along?"

Thanks given her, Evangeline nudged her mare into a slow trot. She was more than curious about the future visitors of Adam's home. She glanced back, taking stock of whom she was helping. The older man driving appeared to be a sailor of some kind and the girl beside him was very pretty, possessing a head of deep-red locks that spilled over her shoulders and made her look very fresh and young. She, however, seemed to be reticent and silent, having been unwilling to meet her, Evangeline's, eyes from the moment they met. Evangeline shrugged to herself and pressured her horse into a faster pace.

In the buggy, Abel felt as nervous as a new sailor on his first trip around Cape Horn. The prospect of seeing his grandson again had him shaking slightly as he drove on. Katherine beside him was struggling with her feelings though. She had waited so long to see Adam Cartwright again but in her haste for hope, she had forgotten the reason for which that she had journeyed so far. To be at his wedding, the joining between him and the graceful woman riding ahead. Katherine felt like shriveling up and slipping into a hole, what a fool she felt she had been. Evangeline Williams was obviously the superior match to Adam but Katherine was also stubborn and she set her jaw in defiance of the facts.

Soon the Ponderosa ranch house was coming into view and Abel took an intake of breath. A magnificent empire is what Ben Cartwright had built over the years and the old seaman was thunderstruck. The landscape was the most beautiful that he had seen, even during all of his many travels, and this house was a work of art. Its lines were clean and rustic but somehow it gave off an air of being a palace in the middle of this unequaled countryside.

A man of tall strength was striding from the barn, a tangle of leather in his hand that he appeared to be sorting out. He glanced up when the visitors appeared but no recognition registered yet as they were too far away. He turned to move away, over to the fence where he placed the untangled bridle. He reached for the black coat slung over the top board and shrugged into it.

Katherine couldn't be sure of who the man was until he half-turned and the morning light played on his handsome face. A longing filled her and she cried out his name as she struggled out of the halting buggy. He whipped around and upon seeing her, he began to run although a limp hampered his progress. She stumbled and fell but kept going until she was caught up and spun around by his strong arms. Both were crying as he set her down and they clung to each other, drawing strength from being together.

Abel felt a tear prick his own eye at seeing his two grandchildren together at long last. A hand touched his arm and he glanced to see the young lady, her name escaped him, offering her hand to help him out of the buggy. He did so and limped around to approach the man who would always be a day-year-old babe to him. He reached out a tentative hand and dropped it on the shoulder of the black coat. His grandson turned from greeting Katherine to see who had touched him.

Adam's face registered speechless shock upon seeing his beloved grandfather. Too choked up for words, Abel touched his hands to the sides of his grandson's face. He then pulled the young man close in his embrace, feeling the strong and muscled body in his arms once more after so many years apart. Joyful sobs came from all three being reunited, Katherine wrapping her arms as far as she could reach around both men as they hugged amid shameless tears.


	2. Chapter 2

Evangeline stood with tears stinging her own eyes as she looked on, watching her fiancé being embraced by the old gentleman and the girl younger than herself. She thought back to the names that Adam had mentioned in the past and the name of his grandfather came to mind along with an adopted girl but her name couldn't be remembered. Judging from Adam's emotional and joyful response to their arrival, his visitors were undeniably special. A tear escaped down Evangeline's cheek as she smiled and approached the huddle.

Upon feeling her hand on his shoulder, Adam turned with more joy in his face that she had ever seen. He drew her to his side and kissed her forehead as he directed her attention to being introduced.

"Angie...this is my grandfather, Abel Stoddard, and my cousin, Katherine Stanton Stoddard," he gazed at his love with pride as he continued, "Grandfather...Katherine, this is my betrothed, Evangeline Williams."

Abel found his voice at last, stepping forward and taking her hands in his own. "An honor and a privilege, Miss Williams. You're as beautiful as Adam wrote in his letters."

"Believe me, the pleasure is all mine, Captain Stoddard."

Adam's arm tightened around her waist and she smiled at his grandfather who she immediately fell in love with. His aged face was kind and open but in his eyes was held a hurtful past, one of hardship and heartache. It struck her where she had seen similar eyes before; Adam truly bore a family resemblance. She turned to Katherine but didn't get the same feeling from the sullen redhead at all. The girl seemed withdrawn and yet held a hardness within her face that disconcerted. Adam noticed the cold way Katherine was looking at his fiancée and he frowned.

At that moment, the front door opened and Ben's voice rang out with shock. All thoughts of a problem fled as Ben was reunited with his first wife's father. That night was spent in much needed evaluation of the past among the five and when Hoss arrived home from working, he too was struck speechless upon meeting the visitors. He could see how animated his father and brother were and felt both glad wishes and envy. He knew that his maternal grandfather was long since passed but a small part of him couldn't help but feel jealous. He also felt rather left out as conversation buzzed about and around events that had happened without himself being present.

After dinner, he was unusually quiet and as if sensing his brother's need for companionship, Adam excused himself from Evangeline's side in order to accompany Hoss out to the barn for chores. They worked in silence for quite some time before Hoss broke it. "Bet you never thought you'd see them here in a million years, did ya?"

Adam shook his head as he leaned on the pitchfork he was using to fork hay to the horses. "They never gave any indication in their letters that they were coming. I wonder what brought Abel out here now after all these years."

"The wedding most likely, just like he done told you."

"I don't know...Katherine acted so strange earlier too. I haven't been able to talk to her in private yet but it's obvious that Abel has suffered a recent illness. A bad one. His face looks drawn and thin and he hardly ate a thing at dinner."

Hoss came to sit next to his brother when Adam sank down on a hay bale while nervously running his fingers through his dark locks. "I'm sure he'll be fine. Jest needs some time to recover from the trip west is all. That Katherine's a pretty little thing, she's done good at looking after him."

Adam smiled and nodded in affection for the girl. "Yes, she has. Now seeing the condition he's in though...I can't help but think that I should have done more to help her. I've let her down and that was my last intention."

A soft chuckle came from Hoss as he slapped his brother's back but with gentle pressure. "Leave it to you to come up with something that makes his ailing your fault. Sometimes stuff just happens and worrying about it ain't goin' to help one bit."

"Yeah...Angie's been working on me about doing that all of the time." Adam smiled wanly, a melancholy trying to steal his peace of mind. He felt to blame for not doing a lot of things of late but he also knew that there was no way of him knowing about most of it. He couldn't have done anything to help Jody's parents nor could he have known about his grandfather's fragile state. He sighed, indeed there were some things that he just couldn't control and there was no sense trying to either.

Hoss could sense the struggle going on and smiled, gripping his brother's good shoulder. "Are you looking forward to the wedding?"

A smile grew on Adam's face that shook away the dismal thoughts. "Yeah...yeah, I sure am." He fought back a slight shiver, thoughts about the event pulling his attention away from the conversation. He remembered the feeling of soft kisses upon his back only a couple of days before...the passion ignited between a man and a woman was special but when true love was involved, that passion had the potential to have an even greater power. He marveled still at how gently she could act one minute and then so fervent the next. After their bedroom discussion, he had come to possess an even greater respect for her than before. He couldn't wait to pay her back for the tenderness shown him with he showing her his love in return...for the rest of their lives. He had a few plans for their wedding night and he shivered again with excitement.

Hoss grinned as he saw his brother's eyes glaze over in thought. Ever the smart one, Hoss observed, "Especially afterwards?"

Caught in his anticipation by his attentive brother, Adam turned bright red, causing Hoss to bust out laughing at his stoic sibling's embarrassment. "Don't worry, I won't tell nobody about them particular ideas ya got. Not even Joe."

"You better not or I might have to thrash you." Adam grinned and nudged Hoss' shoulder hard with his own. "At any rate, I'm also really looking forward to going back East and showing her off in Boston and Philadelphia on our honeymoon. It gives me even more pleasure to know that I'll be the envy of every man who sees my beautiful wife." Becoming mischievous, Adam quirked an eyebrow and leveled his gaze which only made his brother chuckle harder. Hoss bumped Adam's shoulder with his own in understanding.

"I know I do...by the way, has Johnny told you when the mine will be sold?"

"He came by yesterday, Sharon has purchased it and has plans to expand on it but with still a large percentage of the ore going to John, of course. Strange how that worked out but there it is. Anne won't be coming around anymore though since they will be moving out within the week."

"Too bad, I'll miss her."

"Yeah, Jody will too. He's gotten kind of attached to her lately. Maybe because his mother had the same name..."

Hoss scratched the back of his neck as a thought came to him that he had discussed with his father and Joe recently. "Where are you planning on going right after the weddin'? You leaving right away for the East, are ya?"

"Angie and I have talked extensively about that. We had thought of going immediately but we've discussed it and decided to postpone it for a few months at least until we're settled. The ranch needs a guiding hand and then there's Jody. I can't very well leave him behind so we will be most likely taking him with us when the trip does happen."

"Seems a shame for all of your plans to go down the drain now." Hoss chewed his lip as he reached down and grabbed a piece of hay to twiddle between his fingers."I've been thinkin' and I talked to Pa and Joe too. What would you think about lettin' us fix up your ranch up for ya?"

Surprise registered on Adam's face. "What do mean, 'fix it up for me'?

Hoss shrugged. "Joe, Pa and me were a thinkin' that you might like to...you know, go there after the wedding. If it was okay with you, we were going to move in whatever you and Miss Evangeline wanted and, well, just get it all readied up for you both livin' there."

"I would like that, Hoss. I would like that very much..." The asking tone of his brother's voice made Adam smile. He felt moved beyond words, his family's kindly offer solidifying his resolve of late to stay here, where he belonged. He had already thought of what Hoss had suggested but minus their help, not wanting to cause anymore bother than he felt he had to.

Adam's smile deepened but he refrained from saying a word, the knowledge of his family's consideration being enough. Hoss understood, there being no need for further conversation as the two men rose and continued with their duties, Adam tossing hay over the stall sides and Hoss watering the horses. Soon their efficient teamwork had the barn peaceful and quiet for the night. Adam stood next to Sport while softly stroking the chestnut's sleek neck rippling with pleasure as the good, dry stems were consumed. Hoss dumped the last bit of unused water outside and set the bucket down inside the door before standing back to back with his brother. Chubb nuzzled his beloved master, begging Hoss to give him the craved attention. Adam heard his brother's croons to the loyal bay and he sighed, feeling more peaceful than he had felt in a long time...despite the problems that plagued, _but what life is ever completely without problems and challenges?_ he thought.

Soon, the brothers were strolling on their way back to the house. Adam slowed and moved to lean on the pasture fence to observe his herd of thoroughbreds. Hoss joined him as Adam's piercing whistle sounded and a black head snapped up from among the obscured animals in the shadows. The thunder of a sole horse's hooves approached and Jupiter slid to a halt in front of his owner who chuckled at the stallion's playful snorts. Hoss shook his head in wonder as his brother exploited the sensitive areas under Jupiter's chin and made the horse nudge him hard.

"That dadburn horse gave Joe and me the run around when we were driving your herd down and yet here he is suckin' up to ya like an old pal!"

"He is an old pal. A might headstrong and more than a little difficult but a pal nonetheless... kind of like our younger brother."

Adam grinned and Hoss couldn't help but laugh along with him. Everything felt right that night, a bond of brotherhood, of hope that was radiating from the full moon above them. All of the sudden, Adam couldn't wait to return to the house and to the rest of his family inside. Except for Joe, of course.

"I wonder what Joe's up to..."

Hoss looked at his eldest brother as they neared the house. "Don't know...I've got a feeling that we'll hear all about it when he gets back."


	3. Chapter 3

An ordinary day was unfolding in Carson City the next day, its community calm and orderly for the most part. The lack of rough characters about in the streets put Joe more at ease when he reached the jail after riding for most of the day. Dismounting outside, he glanced around before tethering Cochise and entering through the door. After a few assorted men also arrived and then exited again in due time, Joe came back out, flanked by Sheriff Henderson and a drafted deputy. A few heads in town turned as they mounted and thundered out of town but most attention was refocused elsewhere on the daily pursuits that worry the normal working man or the average industrious housewife.

Out of town, the threesome met up with another group consisting of a unassuming wagon guarded by two mounted men along with the driver. The latter appeared to be too old for this impending job as far as Joe could judge. The age of the convoy's members was irrelevant, however, compared to the determined expression on each experienced face. Sheriff Henderson glanced around the surrounding landscape before raising his arm and throwing it forward. The procession started moving towards Virginia City and Joe fell in behind, keeping a sharp eye out for trouble and taking a tight hold on his reins to hold his restless horse down to a lazy walk.

I* * * * *I

A few hours away in Gold Hill, a private telegram had brought welcome news to another threesome. Anderson read it and he grinned, blowing out an private exhale of relief. His two companions looked on with rather dull expressions on their gristled faces but when the paper was handed to them, leering smiles grew. Roughly translated from its coded wording, the telegram read...

 ** _"Rumor spreading in Carson City...Grant gold shipment arriving tomorrow by Gugyl trail...northeast into Virginia City...six men guarding...Bank set to accept at noon...take action."_**

Anderson quickly wrote out a returning telegram to his contact, assuring that action would indeed be taken. He then led his compatriots out of town to an abandoned shack that they often used for meetings when observation from unwanted sources was shunned. A plan was quickly set out and set in motion. Anderson knew that the other two men weren't long on brains but they were smart when it came to firing a rifle straight. He had no doubt that the edge of surprise would turn the tide of the coming battle in their favor as well. So he opted to stay back in Gold Hill and also in Virginia City, in order to keep an eye on the Law's movements while his two employees did the hard work. They weren't too thrilled about that plan at first but decided not to push it. They knew that their boss was hesitant when it came to a head-on fight but they also knew that he was lethal in an environment that he controlled. He wouldn't think twice about shooting mutineers and they planned to come out of this little deal in one piece and decidedly more rich than when they entered it.

Anderson watched the two ride away with a smug smile on his face before remounting and riding leisurely back to Gold Hill. He was confident of his success in this plan but knew that he had to be careful when it came to any other moves he might make. A man who is desperate can't think as clearly as one who isn't and Anderson didn't want to find that out upon coming up against Adam Cartwright, the one man that he truly hated and blamed for the risks that were being forced to be taken.

I* * * * *I  
The stars were shining their light on the two lovers standing nose to nose under a ponderosa pine. A kiss of mutual satisfaction was shared, both partners feeling only love for the other. Murmurings of anticipation for the wedding fell between them before another kiss took their breath away. The man wrapped his arms protectively around the woman, both of the bodies melding into one.

The ranch house door opened and a shadow of another young woman stood in the doorway. The shadow halted upon seeing the embracing couple and her lips pursed. The shadow's owner debated whether to retreat or not but then squared her shoulders. Striding with confidence, her skirts swishing around her legs, the feminine shape walked across the yard, right past the object of her scorn. The couple looked up when they were so boldly ignored and then glanced at each other.

"Have I done something wrong, Adam? Your cousin doesn't seem to like me whatsoever."

Adam narrowed his eyes as he watched the retreating figure of his relative. He sheltered Evangeline's shoulders with his arm as they moved leisurely back to the house. She leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his stomach. Careful not to pain his back, she gripped it higher up by his shoulders. Adam was preoccupied with his thoughts and her question.

"I've been wondering myself what's going on with her but I find it hard to believe that you are to blame, my love. She has had a difficult life, much more lately it would seem...she may just be tired and need rest after the hard trip her and Abel took."

Evangeline moved back and walked with her arms clutched around his arm. "Then I must do my best to be nice to her but...Adam...I do think that she's jealous of me. Of my having you. You're right in that she has had a difficult life at times and it's obvious that your support has kept her inspired..."

"What's wrong with that?"

"There's nothing wrong with being inspiring but there are different kinds of inspiration, so to speak. The question is...what kind has she see you as being? Sweetheart, you are an extremely attractive man...and I'm not the only one that would think so either. Men, good men that is, aren't as aware of their aura as arrogant ones but that doesn't change the attraction. As for me and quite a few women I should think, that magnifies the attraction."

Evangeline waited for realization to dawn and when it did, Adam exhaled and shook his head. He paused and stood still as he thought back on the day. Katherine has seemed to be fatigued but he also remembered all of the harsh glances that were thrown Evangeline's way when the older woman wasn't looking. Yes, it had definitely seemed that his betrothed had been signaled out. It also seemed that Katherine's gaze had been directed his way a lot more often than could be contributed to innocent coincidence.

"You may be right, Angie. I think I need to go talk to her before whatever this is goes any farther. I fear that I have inadvertently encouraged her for far longer than I like to think about. I thought I was helping her to grow but I...I guess I harmed instead."

Adam's eyes began to take on a pained spark as he did when he was beginning to blame himself and Evangeline didn't want that. She traced her right fingers along his jaw and down his neck. She placed her head on his shoulder and snuggled close, feeling his arms wrap around her again. She felt his heart beating rhythmically, thumping with strength against her ear. She fancied she could hear his blood flowing like a crimson river under his skin and through his veins. Her fingers caressed behind his ear and his pulse could be felt throbbing under the smooth skin. She inhaled with a sigh and his cologne filled her nose too, tickling her senses with the familiar scent.

"Darling, you have such a big heart and I know you don't think so but you do. You saw a young girl who needed a friend and you saw a young girl who had a hard start to life, just like you did. You didn't mean any harm but there are always going to be persons who are so lonely that they'll interpret anything as special love. Never change the compassionate way you deal with such people though, Adam. It's just one more reason why I love you so."

Adam smiled despite himself and he wasn't blind to how she had snapped him out of his doubts with such swiftness. Not for the first time, he thanked the Powers-that-be who had given him this woman whom he loved more than his own life. Leaning back, he gazed down on his beautiful future wife. He had trouble thinking about problems when he was with her because she had such a mature grace that stole his hovering stress. When he was with her, trouble didn't seem quite so important.

Evangeline noted the desire in Adam's eyes and counted herself more than lucky. She was too smart to not know the sheer number of women who must have longed to become Mrs. Adam Cartwright and now that she was a mere matter of days away from entering that position, she felt weak with responsibility. Adam pulled her to himself and his mouth twitched upwards with pride in the woman that he had chosen as his better half. He leaned down slowly, loving the way her lips parted to meet his and the way that she melted into his body's contours to embrace him.

The soft light from the porch lamp gave off a halo around the young couple as they took a few moments to show their devotion to one another. Evangeline relished being so close to her man, feeling his muscles like steel running inside of his arms yet restrained in holding her so gently, feeling his breath on her face as he kissed it and she felt his love covering her like a shield from life. At that moment, only the two of them existed and she loved it that way. She stepped back from him with his hands squeezed in the grip of her fingers. He smiled down at her and she returned the affectionate gaze.

"You do know, don't you?"

He inclined his handsome head to the right, his eyes clear and bright as the stars above. "Know what, my love?"

"How much I love you...I do...I love you so very much and can't wait until I can call you 'husband' in the night by your side. I need you with me forever...I knew you were the one that day that I tried to kiss you and you rebuffed me. I felt so hollow all at once."

"I have you beat..."

"What's that mean?"

"I knew I needed you the minute that dainty boot stepped out onto the sidewalk and those beautiful fingers closed around my arm when I helped a certain young lady out of the stagecoach. Your eyes meeting mine clenched the deal..."

Evangeline cocked her own head and a look of contentment became her countenance. Her right hand released his hand to reach up and cup Adam's face. She kissed his cheek and reached her arms around his neck to hug him tight. His arms encircled her waist and he gently rocked her from side to side. For several moments, neither moved as they breathed in unison over the other's shoulder.

After a time, Adam realized that he should go see if his young cousin was well and to try put her straight. He spoke a few gentle words and escorted Evangeline to and through the door to rejoin his family inside while he closed the same door and turned his thoughts back to what needed to be mulled over. He stood still, his mouth puckering into a thoughtful pout. He nodded to himself, as if deciding some pivotal moment in history that needed to be carried out for his world to remain right in his eyes. Then he began to stride out of the soft circle made by the porch light and he disappeared into the gathering darkness.

I* * * * *I  
Lying under the same stars many miles away, Joe put his hands behind his head and rested back on his saddle. He wondered what his family was up to at that moment. His pa had seemed so tired lately, pain evident in his eyes sometimes despite his best efforts. The young man exhaled with frustration at the forces of the universe behind the mishap after another that had occurred. Joe was sick of the discord against his family and as much as he hated to be apart from them right now...it hurt worse to not be able to do anything for them and just stand by, helpless to change the circumstances.

"What are ya thinkin', boy?"

Joe glanced up at the silhouetted figure of Sheriff Henderson looming against the sky. His face indistinguishable, Henderson smiled and then crouched down to sit next to the younger man. The sheriff looked over at his quiet companion and crossed his arms and leaned back against a convenient log.

"We should be nearing Virginia City day after tomorrow. I hope that this little maneuver can smoke out the culprits after your brother. But if it doesn't, we'll just come up with something else."

Joe raised himself up and picked a piece of grass to twiddle restlessly between his fingertips. His eyes raised to gaze at the moon again. "It's not just that...I'm just sick of every Tom, Dick and Harry thinking that my family is fair game for a little violence. It's a time for a change. I want my brother to start his marriage off right without having to look over his shoulder continuously. He and Evangeline deserve all of the happiness that fate has denied him. He's been restless for longer than I can remember and I don't want this trouble to talk him out of living in Nevada after all. Our family needs to stay together, at least for the sake of my Pa."

"I understand that but just remember that this is a matter at present is for the Law and not for your own vengeance. That slippery road can be traveled both directions, Young Cartwright."

"Are you telling me to go home, Sheriff?"

"No, not at all. But watch yourself and keep your head down. You came to me for help but transporting Grant's gold still might not be the push we need to lure in the ones we want. It's a twisted world, Cartwright, and not one to trifle with. If this doesn't work, you might be telling your grandchildren a whole different story by the end. Let's make sure though that it's flattering, at least, without anyone getting hurt."

Joe chuckled and nodded, being joined by Henderson's low laugh as well. Their conversation turned serious, into matters of the coming days' crucial events, but remained subdued so as not to awaken the other men slumbering nearby. One man though made sure to breathe deeply to give the impression that sleep was still being surrendered to. His mind was racing, however, to other events that had happened recently. The name of the woman had struck a chord in his mind that he had thought was forgotten. Sleep did not come easy for him that night and guilt followed him into morning.


	4. Chapter 4

Adam followed a well-worn path out behind the house and to a clump of trees that sheltered a secret meant for a husband and wife of old to get away from their children once in a while. He smiled as he remembered the painstaking work that had been put into the little bench set under the pines from which it had been made. There, on the bench which had seen so many serious or loving discussions between Ben and Marie, Adam found Katherine sitting and staring out over the shrouded landscape.

Tears were tracking down the young woman's cheeks, her face pale and forlorn. Concern filled Adam's heart and he sat next to her quietly. The bench creaked under the added weight but she ignored him for the most part. The night breeze was cold and she shivered but didn't move to rub her arms or move into the man by her side for warmth. Adam removed his coat and draped it around her slim shoulders before drawing her to himself. She was stiff in his arms and he was bewildered while he waited for some kind of response to his presence. When none came, he simply kissed the top of her head and remained silent, supporting her and trying to convey security through his loose embrace.

The breeze rustled the leaves above them and Adam took a deep breath of it. The air filled his lungs and satisfied his body's need for the oxygen that in turn fed his mind. His thoughts struggled to find some clarity as to the unusual quality of the day. The night seemed unable to deviate from that day's course. Katherine stirred from her rigid posture and he felt her arms wrap around his torso for a hug. Soothing, the night hid the darker, foreboding quality of a thunderstorm rumbling up in the mountains to the west. Adam could sense a level of excitement all about him, in the way the birds had grown quiet and in the change in atmosphere.

Katherine also felt the tension in the air but felt so protected against Adam that she knew that she had never experienced such safety. Opening her mouth slowly, she just had to try to put into words what she had kept in for years. She took her time, savoring every syllable that came straight from her heart.

"I missed you, Adam..." She reached up a hand to move over his shoulder and cup his jaw lightly. "You don't know how much I missed you...it's been so lonely, thoughts of you have always kept me going...your support in your letters has meant the world to me...I hope you realize that."

Katherine's voice was a whisper, snatched by the wind but he still heard it. His heart sank. Evangeline's theory had come true, despite his best wishing against it. He chose not to respond but stood and stepped away instead. Her eyes watched him and she sniffed away her tears with a handkerchief that was handed to her. The words had been innocent and sweet but Adam felt that he was up to his neck in a complicated situation. He exhaled and turned his back to her. A veined hand passing over his mouth was the only indication that he was perturbed.

"You had Grandfather to look out for you and raise you. He has done the best he could and done very well, in my opinion. Was he such a bad guardian?...and be careful in your answer, young lady."

The warning for respect came in quiet but had the implied effect. Katherine shifted on the bench and folded her hands while choosing her words wisely. "He is more than amazing, he is a complete angel and it has nothing to do with him, honest."

"Than what?"

Katherine wiped a hand across her brow in an agitated motion. She felt confused and a little trapped, not a good combination for a coherent conversation. "I don't know...I just don't know...there is something missing in my life. I've never felt like I mattered in the grand scheme of things. I'm just the orphan that everyone knows _about_ but never takes the time to know _me_. I'm branded as uninteresting before I can prove otherwise."

"But you do know different, don't you? None of your family thinks any such things about you..."

"Adam, you and Grandfather are my only family. My parents were killed in a house fire and I barely remember roaming the streets. You know as well as I do what that means in the society that we live in. I'm a nobody, my only hope being marriage if I could find a respectable man who is willing to weather the problems of my past."

"We all have pasts, Katherine, and none of us are exempt from their consequences. You are again forgetting one vital asset that you possess though. Being the granddaughter of Captain Abel Stoddard is nothing to scoff at and..."

Katherine interrupted with a helpless shrug. "But he never officially adopted me. I took his name as a courtesy but not because I legally had to."

Adam was more than intrigued, always assuming that the formal deed had been done. He turned back around and crossed his arms. "I didn't know that although it isn't surprising, both of us knowing our grandfather...but it still doesn't change the fact that you grew up in his household with his wisdom and his kindness to guide you. He loves you, I know he does but he's getting older and older. He'll need your strength and courage that I know you possess. You just need to stop holding yourself back!"

"But I will only let him down in the end...so why even try, Adam? What's the point? You are the one who needs to look after him from now on. You are strong and assured. I am not."

"But I'm trying to tell you that you are stronger than you realize," Adam came to crouch in front of her and took her small hands in his. "You are special because of your experiences. I've tried to impart that reasoning to you over the years but you don't seem to believe me."

Katherine dipped her head in shame. "I know...that part of me seems to be broken..."

Adam tipped her head up to meet his affectionate gaze. "Which part, Pebbles?"

"The part that hears compliments and praise but that can't let such things soak into my mind. I am unsure as to what I need to do to change this...I do know however that you have been my light in the darkness, darling," Katherine's eyes lit up all at once and she squeezed his fingers. "I always knew that you believed in me, no matter how bad I would feel, I would always find the courage you spoke of from your letters. I love you...oh, Adam, I love you so much."

She bent her head to kiss his wrist and rewarded him with an adoring smile. Adam withdrew in silence. He rose to his feet and once again tried to figure out the situation for himself. He was exhausted all at once and felt an ache for Evangeline to be by his side. Thunder rumbled in the distance again, a lightening bolt arching over a stand of pine trees in the distance. He absentmindedly was reminded of the danger of forest fire and his mind strayed somewhat, taking stock of where the prominent cattle herds were in relation to the peril. Satisfied that all was taken care of, he was loathed to return to the conversation at hand.

Katherine frowned to herself, her smile slipping and she hitched her shoulders with a quiet resignation but this went unnoticed by Adam. He felt like he had a hundred thumbs and none of them were being of assistance. He sighed and was silent for a time. He wasn't sure what had prompted him to start this dilemma with the young woman. Beginning to regret that he had followed her out there, Adam dropped his chin to his chest. He scratched the back of his head as Katherine's tentative and sorrowful eyes tried to break him. He was a man who had conquered over broncs, desert storms, gunshot wounds, raging rivers and he had done it with more endurance than most men possessed but still, he felt he also had in his possession, two left feet as it came to a woman's angst when he was the cause.

Then he was reminded of another girl a couple of years back who had drawn on his advice in a similar situation. Marty* had been a young woman of strength just like Katherine but Adam also remembered that strength can mask pain. A wave of reality hit him upon remembering that Marty had also thought she had fallen in love when she had merely been grateful to the first listening ear of her life. Luke Martin had been the only one to act interested in her life... _or at least, the way she wanted someone to be interested,_ Adam mused.

Katherine sat wondering what Adam was thinking about. She desperately wanted more of his attention but he seemed to have fallen into distant thought. Tears pricked her eyes again...was she that boring to everyone? Her grandfather never seemed to take her seriously, her coworkers at the law firm ignored her, the passengers on the stagecoach even did, and now it appeared that Adam also wanted her to be seen and not heard. Loneliness flooded her and a steeled pain began to wrap around her heart.

"Adam, please say something."

Pivoting on his heel, Adam turned around to her and placed his hands on his hips. He chewed his lip and fidgeted. "I don't know what to say, to be honest."

"Am I that hard to understand?"

"Oh...no...it's not that. I'm confused and...afraid."

Katherine lifted her head to look up at him, her eyes widening in surprise. "About what? I can't believe that you would ever be afraid."

"That is another entirely different conversation because I do get scared and often too. Right now though...I'm afraid that our relationship will be damaged beyond repair if this continues. I can't encourage this...this crush that you have. It's the wrong time, the wrong place...it can never be."

"Adam, I don't care," Katherine's eyes hardened as she rose to face him. Her fists clenched. "You are mine, not hers. Why can't you see that? Maybe you don't really love her after all and you could let her go. And maybe we could have a life together! We're not that far apart in age, a few of my friends have married men over thirty years older than them rather than the mere sixteen that are between us. Age shouldn't matter when two people are in love, right?"

Adam shook his head at the shocking words that he never imagined could escape his Katherine's mouth. Anger began to nudge at his self-control, he was getting tired of convincing when the entire problem was so preposterous and her behavior even more so. "Katherine, stop. This has to stop. I welcomed you into my home, to meet my family...to meet my fiancée. You are insulting me, my family and Evangeline with your actions but more than that, you are insulting yourself. No more. Figure out what you want because it's not me...not really. It can't be, there's no way that I love you in that way. I love you as a sister or as a cousin...not as a wife."

A part of Katherine knew that she needed to see sense but a greater part had been taught to think a certain way by the years and that way was called "Adam Cartwright". There was no world in which she would give him up so easily. For every waking moment, she had thought of only one hope, a hope that had always hovered on the edge of her consciousness. Her spirit was being directed to the wrong outlet, she knew this, but she didn't care.

Adam stood stubbornly with his usual poise. His eyes were black in the dark, his muscles tense with questions, his hair ruffled from the atmospheric disturbance and became tousled, its luster highlighted by a flash of lightning in the distance. His shoulders were squared, his head held high and his tall, masculine beauty was accentuated in every way in the moonlight. The muscled pillar of a throat sloped into corded shoulders that flexed with his every movement, the depth of his furred chest which rose and fell deliciously with each breath, the hard contours of his biceps softened by the white shirtsleeves, the flatness of his stomach and waist honed by years of honest labor, the subtle flair of his narrow hips where an extra healthy pound or two lingered, the hands on hips that were sculpted to perfection with manicured fingernails and a flawless bone structure, the length of two powerful legs attached to two booted feet which could only be imagined as being as beautiful as those slender fingers and just as worth kissing...all in all, Adam Cartwright had grown into nothing short of an exquisitely rare beauty, if such a term could be used on a man which in his case was entirely possible. And the best part was that he had no idea how beautiful he really was to an appreciative eye, none at all.

A longing swept over her, the turbulent night awakened desires that she had pushed deep down into her soul. In a reckless moment, she moved into his body and crushed her mouth to his. Her arms wrapped like steel around his neck and prevented his immediate retreat. Perhaps he should have expected this swift turn of events but alas, he hadn't. Her body pressed against his deliberately and any struggling was put off balance as he stumbled backwards against a tree. Even as she accomplished this brazen act, she was in bliss. The feeling of his full lips, moist and soft, and the power of his supremely fit male body made her grow faint with want and desire, his strangled moan of alarm fueling the moment. His hands gripped her upper arms and at last wrenched them away, effectively pushing her away from himself. He regained his balance and his eyes sparked with rage.

"What do you think you are doing! What the heck is wrong with you!"

Katherine felt small shame as she shrugged. "I answered your questions...You are the only one that I've ever given my heart to. You have said that you loved me more than once and often too. What I did is only natural. You are the one who will surrender to me, Adam Cartwright. You are right too. Never again will I be told what I want or when I want it. I'll show you soon what you are missing with her."

Utterly stunned, Adam stood as a statue and agape as her eyes penetrated his and a smile played at the corners of the pretty mouth. Some kind of bizarre fight was on and he was not sure that he was ready for whatever it was. Her hand rose and fingered the curls at the back of his neck seductively and then trailed away. She sashayed away back to the house, her face dry and her steps firm.

Adam felt shaky all at once and he collapsed back into the tree for support. He berated himself over and over again for encouraging her in any way. He cursed his own stupidity and paced with agitation, running his fingers through his hair. What to do now? What to tell Evangeline? What a mess!

A cold rain began to fall, dampening his white shirt and soon soaking it. He stopped and turned his face towards the sky. Rivelets of rain ran down his face and had the effect of calming him. Eyes watching the scene from behind a close tree, narrowed upon seeing his disconcerted mood. He quickly gained control again and strode back into the warm house. The eyes saw his silhouetted figure disappear inside and the light shining from the doorway was cut off. The person behind the discerning eyes smiled and a twist of the mouth came and went before no trace of a presence could be found. A crack of lightning sounded above and the flash found nothing behind the tree.

*-The Way Station episode.


	5. Chapter 5

**George Meeker-** _A gambler who got involved with Anderson and paid the price, an assassin being sent after him and shooting him in the gut on the road to the Ponderosa. Adam rescued him but now suspects him as still being involved with the gang and holds the key to their downfall. Though being given the best care by Hop Sing, the man is too weak and ill to leave the ranch anyway but Adam is making sure to keep him under lock and key until the mess is sorted out. In the last chapters of Part 2, Adam discovered that Meeker is Jody's uncle who could cause issues with an adoption. Quite the character, is George Meeker!_

The thunder had waned somewhat after Evangeline had returned to the house and the family within continued to enjoy each other's company. Ben continued in deep discussion with his father-in-law with them bringing Hoss into the conversation as much has possible. Evangeline sat demurely, sipping her coffee and taking in all of the wonderful memories that had been a part of her man's past. Lately, she had begun to realize how much pain was held back behind the handsome walls of his mind and body but now she smiled upon hearing tales of his sweeter childhood. Of when he was but a wee boy, how he had kept a beetle for a pet because he couldn't bear to step on it, of how he later helped his father with the plans for the great house...of how he worked so hard to study his way into college, surpassing youths who had grown up in much more privileged households.

One memory cascaded into another and another and then a few more until Evangeline was startled by the chime of the clock. She wondered briefly where Adam was and rose to walk into the study. She peered out into the darkness but there was no sign of his figure outside. A small trickle of rain ran down the window, gathering its cousins together to form a large droplet before it splashed on the sill below. She sighed and shrugged. She returned to the living room, taking her seat again and picking up her coffee cup only to find it empty. Dissatisfied, she clinked it back into the saucer.

Evangeline decided to go to the kitchen to talk to Hop Sing but as she was walking past the guest bedroom, she heard a guttural groaning coming from within. She paused and debated going in. Ben and Adam both had warned her to stay away from the prisoner behind the door but the nurse in her overtook the danger. Taking the key from its hiding place under a vase of flowers, she slipped in quietly without anyone noticing.

George Meeker lay on the bed in a tangle of sheets and sweat. A single handcuff surrounded his right wrist and a long but light chain connected the cuff to the metal framework of the bed. He seemed far from a threat, as he was delirious. Evangeline felt pity for the wretched man and stepped forward to pour a glass of cool water from a pitcher on the sidetable. The liquid soothed Meeker's parched lips and he became aware of another person's presence in the room. Usually, only the eldest Cartwright son or the doctor disturbed his rest to give care or ask questions but this was no man in front of him...it was a beautiful young woman.

"Who...who are you, miss?"

Evangeline stepped back in surprise, her guard up at once. The man struggled for a breath and he winced in pain. She relented her stiffness and sat on the edge of the bed. "My name is Evangeline...Evangeline Williams. Here, drink some more, Mr Meeker."

"No one has called me that in a very long time...you must call me George," George commented with a hoarse chuckle. He took another sip of the refreshing water and rested his head back on the pillow. Evangeline drew back the covers in order to check the bandages on the man's abdomen. Blood had seeped through from the broken wound and painted the white cloth a deep red. She frowned and pulled the quilt back up to the patient's neck. She assisted the weak invalid to sip down another smaller glass of water, spiked with a powdered medicine to help him sleep. She moved as if to leave his presence but he begged her to stay a few minutes longer, until he fell asleep.

"You must rest, Mr...I mean, George. You must stay absolutely still so as not to disturb your wound. It's healing without infection so far but it has only been a few days since the accident, one never can tell how fast a complication can arise."

Meeker smiled slightly and closed his eyes to do as she had bidden. "You are kind, Miss Williams, and understanding...which means you can't be one of them."

"One of whom?" Evangeline asked as she worked at straightening the room.

"The Cartwrights."

"But they are kind for the most part although they _are_ protective of their own. You haven't given them any reason to trust you, perhaps they will in time. They are fair men and not prone to being spiteful for no reason. "

Meeker brandished his cuffed wrist, the chain jangling as it banged against the bed supports. "Do you mean _this_? To be chained like a criminal?"

Evangeline was silent in finishing her tasks and returned to the bedside to sit in the chair. She glanced over the pocked and sallow features of the man before her and she felt a pang of pity. She also felt the need to doubt him because of the bitterness in Adam's face that she had witnessed only days before...but her heart was telling her that George Meeker wasn't a bad man, or at least, not as bad as most seemed to think. The man's eyes were open and seemingly truthful, regret hidden within them.

"George...you can change your life, become more credible. It would take hard work but you might be able to. You just have to stop telling yourself that you can't."

"And, what about you, Miss Williams? You sound as if you've done that very thing."

"I have, in a way. I lost my mother three years ago. My father drank too much to dull his pain and I had no prospects of marriage on the horizon. I thought my world had ended but then I decided I needed a change. I moved out here, to Virginia City and within minutes of arriving, I met the man who would show me the true meaning of hardship and love."

Meeker arched an eyebrow and his pale face took on an interested expression. Anything would be of interest to take away from the sharp pain gnawing through his middle.

Evangeline smiled with a whimsical manner. "I didn't have much of a purpose but, I must say that I do now. I am to be married soon..."

"To Cartwright..."

"To Adam, yes," Evangeline replied quietly. She rose and placed a hand upon one of Meeker's limp ones. "He's hurting too, George...stop fighting him and tell him what he wants to know. Work together and you both just might find an ally. Now get some rest, I'll be back in a little while to check on you...and think about what I said. I don't know much but I know my fiancé and how he thinks, don't be foolish in resisting him."

The door clicked shut quietly behind her and Meeker was left with his ponderings. He _did_ think over what Evangeline had put forth in her young wisdom. When she had been speaking, her face earnest in her beliefs and in her love for a lucky man, George had been reminded of Anne. He had heard his sister in Evangeline's words...and they had impacted him.

Anne had been a practical sister and, as George now conceded, had kept him in line throughout their maturing years. It was after she had married and moved away that he had become uncontrollable by their parents and had run wild. Gambling had become more than a hobby, it had become an addiction, a way to survive the perceived monotony of life. In reality, he was hurting from lack of attention.

George turned gingerly onto his side to relieve an ache in his hip. His blue eyes found a tiny crack in the plaster of the wall and he studied it, as if trying to find his secrets in the crevice. Anderson came to mind along with a few other faces that he wished could be forgotten. He glanced at his wrist, the instrument of his restraint hanging from it. Then he glanced at the clock on the wall ticking the hours away. It appeared by the hands on the face that his final check-up was about to happen by that chinaman...the little man's name escaped him.

George sighed. He decided to ask if Adam Cartwright would come in to talk...there were a few things that needed to be aired. Anderson had to be stopped, time was running out fast and so loathed as it was to think about, Cartwright was the only one who could make anything significant happen.

I* * * * *I

Evangeline returned to the living room shortly after she had left Meeker's room. Ben, however, had seen her come out of that same room only moments before. He scowled and stood to follow her to the study where she again was looking outside for his son.

"I thought Adam and I asked you not to be alone with Meeker. Why did you disregard our request?"

Evangeline turned around and faced the irritated man with a scowl of her own. "It wasn't a request, Ben, it was a ultimatum and as much as I have come to love you...I don't like not being given a choice of my own. I am a grown woman, after all. Suggestions can be made but not ultimatums...please."

"I don't care, young lady, that man is dangerous and I won't have you exposed to such. I intend on you walking down the aisle in one piece next Saturday!"

"Ben! What kind of men do you think I cared for in the army hospital during the war? Gardeners and butlers who had stubbed their toes! I nursed men bleeding from stumps of what used to be arms and legs, I wrote letters for those who were blind and I prayed with old men. But, most of all, I listened to confessions and pleas for forgiveness...something that I honestly could never give but my blessing seemed to ease their tortured minds. I know I haven't pleased you nor will Adam be either at times but both of you have sense and I expect that sense to be used and often too. I'm not perfect by any means but I'm not stupid either."

Ben was left feeling rather speechless by her reprimand. He stared into her smoldering blue eyes and he thought of a similar look that he has seen countless times before in a pair of hazel eyes...and Ben smiled. "I'm not Frank, Evangeline, but if I was I would probably take you over my knee." His eyes crinkled. " We all just want you safe. You've become such a big part of this family and it tore Adam apart when you were taken.* Never again do we want anything like that to happen so easily again. You'll have to get used to our fretting over you."

"Thank you, Ben. You, Adam and this whole family mean more to me than life itself and I can't wait to share the name of Cartwright with you all. But...I have to find my own identity within all of your collective strength and courage. Adam won't have it any less, I should think."

Ben smiled wider and he gripped her left wrist with a gentle pressure. "No, I don't suppose he would."

Evangeline turned back to the drying window with a smile at last alighting on her pretty face. A flash of white moved past the glass and soon the door opened but it wasn't Adam. Katherine took her seat next to Abel who soon made his wishes for sleep known.

"My old bones need a rest from all of this excitement, Ben. I'm going up but send my grandson up as soon as he finally gets back in the house where he belongs. I need to talk to him."

"Of course, Abel, he'll be up soon," Ben replied. He watched his father-in-law move slowly up the stairs and he was struck with the fact of how much both Abel and himself had aged over the past thirty-six years of Adam's life. _They all had become older,_ Ben surmised, _but had they become wiser?_ The old man continued up and out of sight. The others sat together and were beginning to start their conversation again about the ranch and Hoss proceeded to tell some riveting tales of adventures gone by.

At that point, the door opened again and all heads turned...and their mouths fell open.

*-from the first story in The Healing Heart series, "Smoke Rings In The Dark".


	6. Chapter 6

In the silence and peace of the barn, rain just beginning to fall, Coal nuzzled his handler happily and Jody giggled. The black colt whuffed into the boy's palm, the soft skin of his muzzle brushing against Jody's arm. Jody thought of Adam and the moment in which he had been given the foal. Somehow, the boy felt better knowing that the man had thought of him and that knowledge created a warm, fuzzy feeling. Then Jody remembered all of the times that Adam had been there for him, had given him advice, had even held him during the past weeks. Both a love and a fear for the man had grown in the boy's heart.

Jody was conflicted. He wanted to embrace his new guardian as a son would a father but there was no way that he could ever raise Adam higher than his own parents. He didn't think that he had enough love or loyalty and it hurt him. Images of his dead parents had been burned into his brain and he shivered with tears coming to his eyes. Then the smiling image of Adam floated through the distorted memories and only his face came through. The gentle smile, the eyes that shone with understanding of a child's pain...Jody was so confused and he only wanted to forget that everything had even happened. He missed his mother and father so much that his world wound down into that need. His young mind couldn't comprehend the struggle and he shook his head to dispel the doubts.

Squealing with displeasure, Coal nudged Jody again for a treat and the boy dribbled a few grains into his hand so as to calm the foal. The soft lips smacked away, tickling Jody's fingers and calming him by the gentle action. He hugged the little horse tight and shuddered into its neck. Coal seemed to be the only one who completely understood what he was going through. Jody had lost his family, his reality and didn't know how to start fresh. Being only a small boy, there was no way for him to know such a thing. A thought entered his mind, however, that just maybe he didn't have to accept Adam as a new father just yet but maybe he could ask him some questions that were weighing heavily...after all, Adam did know everything, didn't he?

Jody sighed and stroked his foal's soft coat, feeling the hairs soothing his skin as much as his mind. Nothing came easy these days and he wasn't sure it ever would again. "We'll be okay, Coal...I don't know how but we will be. Trust me...we're friends, anyways..."

The colt nuzzled Jody's side as if in agreement and a nicker escaped from his nose. Jody hugged him again and stepped out of the stall to finish bedding down the other horses as had become his job over the past days. Sport ate greedily at the hay given to him as did Buck. Cochise huffed with jealousy but soon was appeased. Jody loved all of the noble beasts but his favorite one stood quiet and gentle, waiting for his reward. Jody made sure to give an extra ration of grain and hay to Chubb and the horse received a few extra pats on his strong neck too. Life seemed almost good when in the company of horses and unbeknownst to the boy...that was exactly how Adam felt too. They had more in common than Jody realized.

Footsteps could be heard in the barn and the soft sound broke the spell within which the little boy was enjoying. Jody was turning to see whose footsteps they were when pain shot down his spine, digging into his nerve endings like shrapnel. Black spots covered his vision, from far away he heard squeals from Chubb before he fell with a pitiful cry escaping his weak body. A shadow of a man covered him in its dire gloom, blocking out the light from the house far away and any hope of help was lost in the ensuing silence.

I* * * * *I

As Adam walked from the garden, around the side of the house and to the door, his thoughts were taken up of his altercation with a certain young lady. The dampness of his clothes did very little to bolster his bad mood as he rubbed a hand across his nose to thumb off a drop of rain that was itching. The hairs on his neck stood up all at once and he turned to glance back out into the black, dank night. His ears listened intently for he could have sworn that he had heard strange noises but then he shrugged, chalking it up to his imagination and befuddled state. His hand finding the door latch, Adam paused to look back out across the yard once more but, finding nothing suspicious, he opened the wooden structure and stepped through. The greeting he received made his ego sink all the way to his wet boots.

Upon returning to the company of his family, Adam was met with stares and chuckles from his father, brother and the two women present. Even Hop Sing upon bringing out cups of hot cocoa for everyone, couldn't help but chirp his amusement as well. The sight that assaulted their eyes was one that was seldom, if ever, seen on any given day and on any given incident.

The rain had soaked Adam's shirt and made it almost transparent, leaving little to the imagination. His carefully combed hair was ruined and trailed down his forehead, a dark strand finding its way into one of his dark eyes. A puddle formed behind him and he stopped short of walking toward the stairs. Evangeline's eyes widened with amusement and she hid her smile behind her hand. Ben and Hoss openly grinned, unsuspecting of the circumstances that had caused their family member's unfortunate situation.

Adam glanced at Katherine and he began to shiver, one reason being the water chilling him to the bone but he also felt uncomfortable under her gaze. She smiled at him, a strange showing of her white teeth that was disconcerting. Her eyes locked with his own before deliberately trailing down his cheeks, his neck...to bore a hole into his exposed chest. The blatant curiosity was worse than the chafing clothes. Panic threatened to get the better of him, all he wanted to do was get out of there. He squirmed from one foot to other and his clothing made squishing noises with each movement.

"Did you decide to take another bath, Adam?" Ben asked with an innocent air. He accepted a cup of the hot liquid offered by Hop Sing and appraised his son from over the rim.

Embarrassed and redfaced, Adam attempted to explain but his boots squished when he stepped forward and destroyed the sincerity of his plight. "I got caught in the rain and...got wet..."

Silence.

Adam glanced around helplessly and the panic did the get the better of him then although he managed to maintain his usual gallantry. "Well, I better go change, if...you all would excuse me?"

The quiet waned as smiles broke out and then laughter burst forth, filling the room. Adam continued to beat a hasty retreat up the stairs but the sound wore on long after he had disappeared. He paused to listen for a instant but then he too smiled. It was rather preposterous really. The continual thunder of the day and the probability of rain had been a topic of conversation at dinner and still he managed to get stuck out there like a foolish boy. Except for the serious problem of a certain young woman's interest, Adam found the entire memory rather funny. He couldn't help but chuckle, a deep rumble from his chest, as he walked.

The warm sound filled the hallway and a pair of ears heard him. Abel stirred from a light slumber and peered out from under bushy eyebrows into the semi-darkness of his room. He smiled a knowing smile, as if remembering some distant memory from far away. He decided to get up and go to his grandson but while he was struggling to get out of bed, a gentle knock occurred and then a deep voice spoke softly.

"Grandfather? Can I come in? I don't want to intrude if you were going to sleep..."

The silhouetted form against candlelight turned and a deep sigh escaped him. "Of course, my boy, you're always welcome and you could never intrude. I was meaning to talk to you about something very important...would you sit down?"

Adam inclined his head and moved to sit on the side of the bed but Abel motioned him closer to sit on a chair next to himself. Once settled, Adam leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, his long fingers touching slightly in a graceful gesture of preparation to hear what his grandfather had to tell him. Abel smiled but remained silent for a time that seemed to drag on a little too long.

Adam cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. "Um, I was surprised...well, delighted, don't get me wrong, but...I was surprised to see you here...after all these years."

"You were wondering what I'm doing here?" Abel smiled again but his face bore sadness.

"In a nutshell..." Adam lowered his eyes, focusing on a thread hanging from the edge of the were scurrying around in his head about Katherine and how to broach that subject that he drifted for just a moment. What he heard next sent him hurdling back towards reality.


	7. Chapter 7

"I'm dying, Son..."

Abel's weathered hand came up touch his grandson but Adam sat up, out of reach. He blinked, his hand coming up to brush his nose, pass over his mouth then he stood, pacing the length of the room but never making eye contact. Abel watched him with sorrowed eyes, seeing the conflict in the tall, lean figure. The younger man finally paused and turned with a question.

"Why now? Why would you wait to come down after all this time? I asked you to come **so**... **many**... **times**. But you never did. Every time I came to Boston, I would ask because I wanted to show you this world...my world. This is my home. Before, I thought I could start completely fresh with Evangeline but then having you in my life again, it felt right. Now..." Adam's eyes seemed to glisten a little brighter. "You're telling me that there isn't any time...to reconnect?"

"Adam, it's not that dramatic. The doctors say my heart is failing but that I still have at least a year, maybe two. Stop pacing, you're making me more nervous than I already am. Sit down!" Abel's tone softened, "Please."

Adam moved into his seat slowly, hard tension evident in his countenance. Abel sighed again. "This doesn't come easy for me. I lived my life as a crusty sailor, keeping everyone at arm's length...including your mother. Believe me, I wish that I would have made the time to be with you sooner but I didn't and I can't change that. Now, I need your help...with Katherine."

"Does she...does she know?"

Adam glanced up. His voice had the smallest catch in it, a slight quiver that hinted at the emotion roiling in his chest. He still had his wet clothes on but he didn't even feel the cold. In fact, he was sweating. He opened his mouth but he was too choked up to make a sound.

Unable to bear the intensity of his grandson's gaze, Abel struggled to his feet and shuffled to stand by the window which looked out onto the stormy night outside. Glancing back at the rigid form in the chair, he spoke, "I haven't had the gumption to tell her yet. She knows I'm unwell but not the full extent. She has worked so hard these past years and she deserves so much more than watching me fade away."

"What do want me to do?"

Leaving the turbulent view, Abel limped over to Adam's side and placed a hand on the strong shoulder of his grandson. "I want Katherine to stay here in Nevada. I know it's asking a lot to find her a position of some importance so she can start life on her own, what with your impending marriage but...she has nowhere else to go."

"Are you sure about that?" Adam raised his penetrating gaze. "Have you ever asked her what SHE wants in life?"

Abel looked surprised at the direct frost of Adam's tone. "She has never been open with me about such things. She's a quiet girl, not one to want anything other than to stay at home. I think I know what's best for her..."

Adam sucked in his breath and rose. He claimed the spot by the window, the moonlight falling across his black hair and he shook his head. So many words...so many words were on the tip of his tongue. But which were the right ones? Licking his lips, he shifted from one foot to another and pivoted with one movement of his hips. He began carefully to try and spell out how complicated this situation really was and not as simple as it would appear.

"I agree that you do know best for her in the long run but..."

"But what?" Abel growled, his patience running thin. He just wanted supported, not questioned about things that he deemed beside the point.

Adam clenched his jaw and then softened noticeably. "Of course, I will look after her. But shouldn't we ask the girl before we plan her life? She has a lot more going on inside than you give her credit for. I think you should tell her the truth...tell my father the truth and then we can face this...together...as a family. There's no point in running from it any longer."

Abel bowed his gray head, tears in his eyes. One crystal droplet passed down his cheek, ending up in his white whiskers. Adam came close and melded his warmth into Abel's body to stop the involuntary shivering that began. The old man was touched and wrapped his arms around Adam as well. The moisture from Adam's clothes was transferred onto Abel's but neither cared. Abel gripped the solid substance that was his grandson and he broke down, tears soaking into Adam's damp shirt. Together they stayed, holding one another and drawing comfort...two souls traveling on the same grieving path.

After a time of solitude next to the other, Adam assisted Abel back into bed with great care. Then he reached for the warm quilt but while he covered the older man, Adam's wrist was captured in an iron grip. Clear hazel eyes met tired brown ones. Abel's face grimaced into a faint smile, his hand drifting up to cup the back of the younger man's lean neck.

"I'm sorry, Son...this isn't what I wanted..."

Adam tucked the blanket closer around Abel's shoulders. "I know. I'm glad you told me."

"Promise me something, boy..."

Adam sat on the edge of the bed and nodded, his eyes stormy with questions. "Anything, you know that."

"As you already knew, when I pass on, I wish to be buried at sea. I have a friend by the name of Captain John Plathon of the HMS Voyager. I have already made the arrangements which I put in an envelope you will receive. I need someone to accompany my body there to Boston Harbor. Would you find a man trustworthy to do it?"

Adam sat silent, his throat choked again. He leaned forward and inclined his head. "It would be my honor to do it myself, when the time should arrive."

"I couldn't ask you to do that..."

"I want to. We've always tried to stand by each other and that won't change just because you have moved on from this life."

Abel's hand moved from Adam's neck and down on his shoulder which received a firm squeeze. "Thank you...I could never have asked for a better grandson or a better legacy than the one you will carry on in your children. Take your boy for instance. Already I see traits of the Stoddard courage in him."

"He's not MY boy," Adam quipped with a small grin.

Abel chuckled. "Isn't he? Already he's following you around like a lovesick puppydog. You've got a fine one there."

Adam's eyes wandered and grew gentle in the lamplight. "Yes, he is. It's not my doing though, his parents raised the lad well."

Abel grunted as if he had a different opinion. "But you have kept that good example alive and in the flesh for him. You'll make a good father. Much better than I, in fact."

"I disagree. I've always been convinced that Mama loved you very much and your wisdom has always meant the world to me. I hope you have known how much I respect you..." Adam replied with a catch of emotion and touched Abel's limp hand settled on top of the covers. "I was also meaning to ask you something...I've also had a dilemma the past several weeks over a certain problem but now I'm decided. I would be proud if you'd stand with me as my best man next weekend...would you?"

The gentle words filled the captain's heart to bursting but he gave a tight nod against his pillow and tried to keep control of his constricted voice. "I'm so proud of you...you're so like your mother and I know she's been watching you all of these years even though I couldn't. She loved you so much and I know that she still does. She's been watching you, Son...she knows..."

A single tear escaped down Adam's cheek, unnoticed by both men. They hugged again, their spirits mingling to rise up and bring a smile to an angel watching them from above. When Abel got control of himself after the hug, he grunted and stiffened. He pushed Adam away and ushered him out with a wave of a hand.

"Enough of this dallying now! Get going and change! Wouldn't want that pretty lady of yours to have you catch your death of cold, now would we?"

"No, we wouldn't, she may cuff me or something."

Grinning, Adam stepped to the door. He waited a moment to see his grandfather drift into an exhausted slumber before allowing the smile to fade as fast as it had come. Shutting the door behind him, Adam leaned against it and rested his head back, his eyes searching for answers in the ceiling. None could be found and his eyelids closed in pain. _I just can't believe this, it...it can't be true,_ he thought. Another voice in his belly told him that it was, in fact, the truth and nausea made him gulp. He turned his head, his right ear pressed up against the wood. A faint snore could be heard and he smiled despite himself.

Reluctantly, he pushed himself away from the door and made for his room to do as he had been bidden. He soon found the comfort of a fresh shirt and pants, the dry cloth warming him although it could do nothing for the loneliness that chilled his innards more than the cold draft from his window ever could. Shivering, he walked to the mirror. There was little he could do about his hair except for combing it back but even then, it resembled Jupiter's sweat-ridden coat. Adam grimaced and shrugged because there was nothing he could do about the predicament. He dashed a few splashes of cologne on himself and the ablutions were done.

Sighing, he glanced around at his room, the haven which had been his source of quiet for so long. His gaze drifted from article to article, each one having treasured memories connected with them ...the old guitar leaning against the wall in the corner, the picture of his mother on the dresser, the proud statuette given him by his fellow students on the occasion of his graduation of college, the ornate bed given him on his eighteenth birthday by his family, one of Inger's bedspreads gracing the frame while a pair of fencing swords belonging to Marie graced the wall above it. Yes, it was a perfect room for his personality and its effect helped as usual. Making his mind up to find one of other items in his life that made him feel the same, he left and walked down the hallway to locate his fiancée.


	8. Chapter 8

When Adam appeared on the steps again, his pristine white shirt and the exaggerated shine of his black hair once again cut a sharp figure. Ben grunted in approval as he tried to hide his residual amusement and Evangeline gazed up in appreciation, watching the handsome stranger stride down the stairs with his usual confidence. Only when he reached the bottom did she feel something was amiss with his manner.

Glancing around quickly, she observed that she seemed the only one who had noticed. Hoss was making some snide remark to his brother, Ben was ignoring his sons from behind his paper and Katherine...well, she was much to enamored with the sight of Adam then she should have been for propriety's sake. Evangline frowned, wanting to wipe that dreamy smile from the young girl's face and stuff it in that pretty mouth. Dismissing that uncharitable thought, she stopped her musing and resumed fleeting analysis of her love. The strain in the handsome face, the worry lines standing out on his forehead, the halt in his step but it was his eyes catching hers that told the story. Something had happened upstairs and it hadn't been good. Usually deep and open with intelligence, his hazel pools held a shimmering glaze across their surface, a flash of ice that was shielding his heart from anyone's discernment.

Wanting to touch him, she patted the seat next to herself and he moved quietly around the back of the couch to be with her. Much to her surprise, instead of sitting by her side, he knelt and sat on the floor, leaning up against her leg and touching the side of his head to her knee. She was unaccustomed to this vulnerable position as she reached out and ran the back of her hand down the back of his neck. He turned at the light touch, smiling up at her and gripping her hand tightly from over his shoulder. Ben addressed him and directed his attention onto a brief ranch matter of which she heard nothing about, only able to savor this moment and its components...the nod of his dark head as he spoke, the rich tones of his voice, the fiery heat emanating from his body as it warmed up at last and the flex of his muscles as he accepted a cup of cocoa from Hop Sing. She couldn't help but observe the fine, soft lips too as he took a sip from the steaming cup. She smiled, thinking of kisses past and the many more in the future she would receive. The forbidden subject of their wedding night entered her mind and she felt a spark of delicious terror. She had to admit that she was scared but also exhilarated at the prospect to have him all to herself, alone and undisturbed at last. What that all entailed was unknown to her for the most part though and that was the scary part. All she knew was that she wanted to hold him close and never let him go...she would trust him with the rest...

"Evangeline? Did you hear me?" asked Ben, a queer smile on his face as he observed her fingers stroking his son's shoulder with a blissful, faraway look on her face.

Evangeline jumped and looked up with wide eyes and a blush on her cheeks. She'd been caught. "I'm sorry, Ben...I didn't catch that."

A chuckle from Ben's direction came to her ears. "I was just asking if you wanted to maybe go over the final arrangements for the wedding a last time tomorrow. Have another person look at it. You've already made the cake order and Frank said that he would take care of having your mother's dress pressed in time for the wedding."

She nodded. "Yes, all that is left to do is decide on food, pick my bridesmaids...set up the ceremony on our clifftop, transport the furniture out there and, oh my...I fear there is much more than I realized to do! Thank you for your offer and I would be so glad of it. Poppa is quite helpless with such things having to do with romantic occasions, I'm afraid. As for this one right here," she said, nudging Adam slightly, "I want the wedding to be a surprise without him having to lift a finger. That's alright with both of you, isn't it?"

"Fine by me. I'm always glad to help my daughter-in-law," Ben said with a wink at Adam who sniffed with a chuckle as well.

"Adam, do you have any ideas about the food? Is there anything special you'd like me to make sure happens for our wedding meal?" Evangeline addressed to the man at her feet and smiled.

Despite the heaviness wearing at him, Adam smirked naughtily to himself because he knew on THAT day he would really only be hungry for her in every way possible. Lately, their wedding night was more and more on his mind and even being near her for too long would drive him crazy now. He was desperate to have her with him at last, at their very own ranch that his brothers were going to help him set up this next week. He wanted to start a new life with someone that he could shelter, nurture and be loved by...someone that he wouldn't have to worry about leaving him, not if he had breath in his body at least. His thoughts wandered to his plans and gifts for that most special of nights before he replied in the most proper way a man could respond to his future wife.

"Whatever you want will be fine with me, I'm sure. Just make sure that YOU get there, right?"

Light laughter tinkled among the eaves of the pinehouse and then conversation seemed lost in the crackling of the fireplace and the peace of those congregated. A beam creaked somewhere in the walls, as if the house was contented to have those it sheltered all there together. The family sat in pleasant silence for awhile until Adam realized someone was missing and he inquired, "Hasn't Jody come back from the barn yet?"

Ben glanced at the clock and his mouth moved into a grimace but shrugged. "He could just be engrossed with his friend out there but perhaps you should go out and check up on him after all."

"I'll go get him, Pa," Hoss offered, moving to get out of his seat, the grin of moments before falling from his face.

"No need, Hoss, it would probably be best if I go...I won't be long, Angie,"Adam said to the respective recipients and pushed himself to his feet, striding to the door with quick steps and a mission on his mind.

Evangeline rose to follow and caught up to him, placing a hand on his forearm."I'll come with you. I could use a walk."

He glanced at her with a quirk of his eyebrow but then smiled wanly, turning from the door to instead retrieve the green cloak from the hat rack. He carefully wrapped it around her shoulders and tied the velvet cord at her throat. His callused fingers brushed her cheek from behind before they drifted away. Shrugging into his black coat, he then grabbed his hat, held the door open for her and they left together, out into the damp, breezy night. The rain had at least stopped when they stepped outside and paused under the porch roof. Adam adjusted his hat lower on his head and raised the hood of the cloak over hers. She tried catching his eye and smiling but he didn't seem to see her, absorbed in his little task to keep her from the elements.

"What's wrong, my love? Are you in pain still?" Evangeline asked gently, also concerned that his injuries were acting up yet again.

He received a stroke on his cheek, her eyes gazing into his for any lies he might tell. He stared at her blankly then took her hand from his face and kissed it long and hard, as if he never would let it go. Looking back at her, he sighed and played with a lock of her hair blowing in the wind like he so often did when he was in thought.

"Time moves so quickly...moments that you think you'll have just...aren't there anymore." he muttered.

Evangeline cocked her head. "What's troubling you? Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not yet...not tonight," Adam responded sadly. He pulled her towards him into a hug, his arms wrapping around her protectively. He whispered, "I just want to enjoy having you with me, my darling. I used to think I needed so much to be happy but this, right now, right here...is sheer perfection..."

Evangeline nodded dreamily and pulled away just enough to kiss him. First a peck, then another until a desperation seemed to come over him judging by the hungry kiss he gave her next, squeezing her tight to himself. His lips, soft only moments before, hardened into gifted tools which greedily sought to devour the sweetness of her willing desire for him. She finally had to pull free to catch her breath, her skin rosy from the attentions given her. Her hand settled on his ribs, warming a scar that marred the skin under his shirt. Without the words to express her abiding love for him, she touched her forehead to his and there they remained for what was mere seconds but enough time to let their hearts move into unison.

Adam turned her then, pulled her tight against himself and they began their journey across the sloppy yard although the cold breeze persisted, pulling strands of Evangeline's coiffure free to blow about her face. She huddled close to Adam as they ran for the barn, reaching the door and he pulled it closed behind them.

"What a night out there!" Evangeline laughed a mite breathlessly as she tucked the loose hair behind her ear. Watching his love's busy hands winding the tempting strands back up and into her bun, Adam nearly smirked but he was too distracted to act on the impulse to help her. The barn was as dark as pitch in there which was all wrong to start with if someone else, only the light from the moon shined through any cracks in the old slabs of wood. Taking a lantern from a rafter, he lit the instrument, blew out the match and raised the light high in order to see. A panic drove him onward as he had an awful feeling that something had gone terribly wrong.

"Jody, you in here? Answer me, boy, where are you? Jody!" Adam called as he hastened to Coal's stall first but finding no sign of the child, only a startled foal, he began checking each pen. Evangeline began her own search, daring to climb up the short ladder to the loft but that too yielded nothing except for her to find what appeared to be a pleasant nook by the window. There were a few books lined up on the sill, some sheet music on top, one small stool in the straw and a single lantern with dust crusting its glass. Curious that it might have something to do with the child, she was about to investigate when Adam called out that he had already found Jody. She hiked her skirts and shimmied back down the ladder as fast as she could.

Upon reaching the ground floor, she didn't see either man or boy at first and fear filled her until she calmed down and followed the dim lantern light to the stall at the end of the line. Chubb snorted and backed away warily as she flew into the small space and found Adam holding the limp body of the little boy in his grasp. She couldn't help a small gasp escaping her lips as she sank down to join the rescue. Ever being the nurse, she began to check Jody's vitals while Adam felt the boy's bones and checked for suspicious knots or scrapes. Nothing wrong was found at first yet Jody still remained unresponsive, his eyes closed and mouth slack as he floated in the void that gripped him.

Adam scowled as his fingers worked their way through Jody's dark hair until they came across a patch of wetness. Deep red came away and glistened on the edge of his fingernails. The frown grew darker as he looked up at Evangeline and showed her.

"Blood!" he exclaimed angrily, parting the hair to see better.

"Oh, Adam..." Evangeline murmured as she looked closer.

A deep, jagged gash glared up at them, evidence of considerable force needed to inflict it and not the result of a freak accident since there was no remnants of such apparent. The straw was totally undisturbed so Chubb hadn't perhaps kicked at a fly and accidentally hit the boy. There was no blood on the stall walls meaning that Jody hadn't fallen against one of those. No, this work of cruelty had a human hand behind it. Without even thinking, Adam knew with a sinking heart that someone had meant the boy harm. He froze, his blood pounding with sudden hatred. Biting his lip, he could feel tears of rage prick his eyes and that only served to fuel his anger to new heights.

Evangeline watched him carefully, moving next to him and putting her arm around his shoulders. "Adam...it will be alright...come, let's get him inside the house to rest and bandage that up," she saw a bedroll on a saddle and ran to grab it. "We can use this blanket to support his neck and it mustn't be moved if at all possible," she said with a calmness she didn't feel as she assisted Adam in gathering the boy up into his arms. "That's it, easy does it. I'll support him while we walk."Adam didn't comment as they rushed Jody across the yard and to the house.

From the shadows, a figure emerged from the overgrowth and approached the house. A smile gleamed in the darkness until the large man disappeared into the night, leaving only the faint rustle of bushes to describe any passage. He joined his companion and the two quietly led their horses away from the scene. Their mission had been a success and now on to phase two of the master plan.


	9. Chapter 9

With weary steps, Adam came down the stairs followed by Ben and Doc Martin. Hoss looked up from the blue chair and waited to hear the diagnoses.

"He'll be okay," Adam told his brother, patting Hoss' arm absentmindedly. "Is there anything else that we can do for him, Doc?"

Dr. Martin smiled with compassion, his kind features expressing his understanding. "No, just rest will be enough and keeping him quiet. The wound wasn't as deep as it appeared at first but he has most likely sustained a concussion. Lucky for him, you found him quickly after it happened. In a couple of days, he should be right as rain but send for me if anything else changes. I wouldn't move him though."

Adam shook his head. "No problem. He's staying right where he is. He'll be safer there than in his own room."

"Thank you, Doctor, I'll see you out. Take care on the road...safe travels." Ben shut the door without a sound after the departing doctor and looked back at his sons. Adam was ascending the stairs again, step by slow step. Weariness was apparent from his lowered head and Ben sighed, rubbing his neck as Hoss came towards him.

"I'm through with these danged attacks!" Hoss growled, anger sparking in his blue eyes. "I want to know what those stupid excuses for guards were doing when this happened! The idiots, why do we even pay them if they can't do their job. First Adam's little gal then Adam hisself on the road, now Jody again!"

"Now, Hoss," Ben attempted to calm his middle son down. "Whoever did this made a point of not being seen, unlike the previous attack on Adam...most of the hands should be close by. Gather the available ones together. I want them all armed for bear and stationed with only feet of the house. Obviously, watching the roads aren't enough. Tomorrow, we'll see what clues we can find in the dirt...I want to know how those men got in here without anyone hearing them."

"I'll make that happen, Pa," Hoss replied, his face frowning with worry as he shrugged into his coat. "I wish Joe would get back. We need him."

"He'll get here when he can. Those horses will make a perfect gift for Adam's wedding," Ben mused as he walked away toward the kitchen.

Exiting the door, Hoss went to the bunkhouse where he roused every available though grumbling man to take up rifles and stand watch around the house. Once satisfied that his family would be safe for the night, he then returned to the warmth of the house. He took his coat off and still found himself the only one in the great room. Hoss planted his hands in his pockets and scuffed his boots against the floor in frustration. He felt lonely and lost, nothing to do except wait for morning to come. He walked to the fireplace, leaning on the mantel to watch the flames dancing and playing. Grabbing the poker, the fire was brought roaring even hotter before he added even more logs. Tired beyond endurance after such a long day, he settled himself in the blue chair and laced his fingers on his chest. Soon, he was deep in sleep, succumbing to the fatigue that gripped him.

In the kitchen, Ben quietly moved around Hop Sing throughout the space and prepared a tray of coffee for the night vigil that would surely begin next. An activity of which he had taken part in more times than he could begin to count. He stood in a trance, wishing that this vigil hadn't landed squarely on the shoulders of his eldest son...he was afraid of what could happen if these draining incidents didn't stop. Adam was strong, had a good constitution that had saved him on more than one occasion but his endurance could only go so far. The worried father was already noticing the signs of exhaustion and strain. A limp here, a grimace there, the pain in his face when he lowered himself to the floor next to Evangeline only hours earlier. Why Adam had extended himself to do that last act was still somewhat of a mystery to the father but only to a point. Ben smiled, remembering the soft smiles that had come over his son's face upon every touch of the young woman's hands. In fact, that beautiful distraction seemed to be the only source of relaxation lately for Adam.

A tanned hand came into view, placing a plate of sugar cookies on the tray. Ben turned and was met with the little cook placing a hand on his employer's back. "Things will be fine, Mr. Cartwright. Anything you need?"

Ben's smoky eyes darkened in thought. "Yes, do you still have some of that orange poppy oil that you used on us last winter when we got the flu and couldn't sleep?"

Hop Sing bobbed his head with a cheeky grin and went to rummage through a crock sitting on the top shelf. Inside, he withdrew the bottle containing a golden liquid. He climbed back down and brought the sedative to the tall rancher who took it with a smile and a wink. Ben picked up the tray and came out of the kitchen, walking with purposeful strides towards the stairs when he spotted Hoss slumped down by the fire, one hand holding his head up. Ben chuckled as he mounted the stairs carefully in order not to awaken the one man in the house that never needed to be drugged in order to fall dead to the world.

Upon entering Adam's room, Ben observed Jody appearing to be sleeping peacefully in the big bed, his head bandaged and elevated on a soft pillow. Adam was sitting by the bedside in one of his comfortable armchairs but he was bent heavily in much the same position as Hoss except his hand was covering his eyes, one leg bent at the knee, the other stretched out. His uneven breathing made it obvious that he wasn't sleeping but brooding as would be expected.

Evangeline turned from her standing position at the window but she didn't smile, returning her gaze to the moonlit night that had calmed at last, the stars shining brightly on the wet landscape. Ben tiptoed over to the dresser, set down the tray and joined her. She didn't look at him and he noticed a tear slide down her cheek. Impatiently, she wiped away the moisture and wrapped her arms around herself, as if shielding her body from some unknown threat.

Ben cupped her elbow, inquiring in a whisper, "What's wrong, my dear? The doctor says that Jody will be just fine and Hoss has armed every one of our available men and he has stationed them close to the house. No one would dare attempt anything more tonight." "

Evangeline struggled to maintain her composure. She glanced at the back of the dark figure in the chair and the sleeping boy just beyond. "He's hurting, Ben...he's hurting so much and I don't know what to do to help."

"Angie, you take too much on yourself. He isn't exactly one to bare his bones to even those who love him most. Believe me, I've been trying for all of his thirty-six years. Even as a lad, he was stubborn as all get out. He insisted on doing everything himself. I'll never forget the time when he was four and he wanted to harness our wagon horse. It took forty-five minutes of trying to coax the animal to lay down before the little tyke gave up and asked for help."

Evangeline couldn't help but smile at the anecdote. "He is stubborn, too much for me at times. A light goes out of his eyes and I can't see what he's thinking in that darkness...how did you deal with him all these years? Please tell me because I'm at a loss."

Ben chuckled and turned to lean against the window glass, the freezing chill numbing his shoulder upon contact. "I haven't figured it out myself...but here's what I do know, just assume that you'll lose in such situations."

"What? Assume that I'll lose? How does that help?" Evangeline whispered back, amused at the suggestion.

Ben withdrew a small bottle from his vest pocket and put it into her hand. "Use at your discretion...I assume you are familiar with this herbal remedy?"

"Yes, of course," she frowned slightly as she thumbed the bottle between her fingers, "California orange poppy has been used for a long time to help aid in sleep and stress but I feel deceitful, slipping it into his drink like that."

Ben nodded and shrugged. "You may be right...but think of it this way, he needs his rest and there is nothing left to be done tonight. You know him, he'll stay up all night in that chair and all day tomorrow, watching over Jody. Adam Cartwright is loyal to everyone and everything but himself."

Evangeline nodded with a smile, knowing full well that those words were true in every way. "Thank you, Ben, you do always know what's best. Speaking of rest, you get yourself to bed, I've got Adam's well-being in hand. Go on now."

Ben pulled her into a hug and planted a brief kiss on her cheek. Giving her a wink, he walked across the room and placed a hand on Adam's shoulder. Adam roused and looked up, his eyes blinking to adjust to the dim light.

"Going to bed, Pa?"

"Yes, and you really need to as well, you know, it won't do him any good for you to get sick," Ben attempted hopefully but Adam listlessly shook his head and turned back to stare at the bed. His father shook his own head and sighed, patting the shoulder once more before leaving the room. The door clicked shut and silence enveloped the occupants, the only source of light being a single lamp casting an eerie glow on the three faces.

Adam pushed himself to his feet, moving around the bed to pull the covers higher around Jody's neck. His hand cupped the little head and a grimace tugged at the corners of his mouth. A warmth came close beside him.

"Adam, you've done your best. Please, get some rest...for me," entreated his love's voice, soft like the tinkling of a bell, it seemed to him...but he resisted the urge to surrender his watch.

"You go get some sleep instead, why don't you? I'll be fine," he said, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead, his hands cupping her face. Evangeline frowned as she observed a limp in his step and a falter when he sat in the chair again. Turning on her heel without a word, she exited the room.

Adam sighed and gulped against the lump in his throat. He knew that his father and then Evangeline were right but something was holding him back, a numbness that rooted him to this spot. His mind wasn't even really working toward any single goal of thought, just a blank chasm of random events and a search for any clues from the same worn-out images swirling before his eyes. His hand came to pinch the bridge of his nose, a tremor passing through him, his body pleading with him to find sleep somewhere.

This is how Evangeline found him again only moments later. Entering silently, she approached with a glass of warm milk and placed it in his limp hand. He glanced up in surprise and she smiled, indicating the drink. "Take your medicine now like a good boy. I've put something in there that will help you sleep and I won't be putting up with any more of your argument tonight," she ordered in a subdued tone as she went to his closet and rummaged around before bringing forth a couple of pillows and three thick blankets that had been stored there. Dropping to her knees, she began to lay out the soft materials on the floor by the bed.

Adam sat up with the glass suspended in his hand. "Aren't you being just a little bossy, young lady?"

Evangeline looked up to find him eyeing her with a mild twinkle. This strategy was effective after all. The twinkle deepened until he smiled at her. Holding up the milk, he saluted with a nod and a wink before he began to gulp down the "medicine". She finished her task and came to take the glass from him, placing it on the bedstand. Leaning over the bed, she checked on Jody's well-being and was glad to see that he was still sleeping peacefully, his breathing regular and his color, a healthy tone. She straightened and came around to Adam's side, taking his hand between both of her own.

"It's late, my darling, come on. You can lay down right there and can still be here if he wakes up," Evangeline entreated as she tugged, drawing him to his feet.

"I only will if you promise to still be in the house when I wake up. I don't want you on the road tonight and I'll accompany you myself early in the morning...please, I promise to get you to town in time for the restaurant opening."

Evangeline pretended to think before she nodded. "Alright, I'll stay. Now, get in bed and I'll tuck you in."

A chuckle joining with hers, Adam lowered himself to the floor and settled on his back, his head resting on the soft pillow. Strangely, the hardness of the wood eased his aching body better than a bed could have. His muscles were able to return to their intended positions and he sighed, already feeling himself slipping into the embrace of relaxation. Stifling a yawn, he let a soft moan pass his lips, his eyes fluttering closed. Evangeline's heart tightened at the sweetness in his face. She grasped his boots and removed them along with his socks, giving his warm feet a quick massage to further his journey. She picked out a particularly plush blanket and pulled it up to his chin, being sure to tuck it tight around his large frame and over his arms, just like his mother might have every night if so given the chance.

By the time Evangeline was done with her ministrations, he was sound asleep, oblivious to her presence. She cast her eyes over his sleeping form and tears pricked her lashes. She leaned down, her mouth whispering close to his ear, "I'll never leave you, my sweet prince. Sleep on...I'll keep watch over both of you. I can't think of anywhere I would rather be..." She sealed her vow with a kiss upon his neck before settling back in the chair that was still warm with his heat.

I* * * * *I

"Sledge?"

"Huh?"

"Why are we doing this anyways, 'sides the gold, I mean? What's worth risking our dang lives here for this? "

"Sledge" Daniels paused in perusing his cards, his grizzled face turned towards the homestead below, his old eyes traveling over the outline in the dark. He shuffled more forcefully and chewed hard on the bit of tobacco between his greasy teeth. "We've gone too long without any means of livin', Rick. We can't buckle now. That gold will be a new start for us."

"But there are other ways, aren't there?"

"None that I can think of and we've gone too fer now to turn back. Don't ya remember that we had a hand in killin' that telegraph hombre? Sure, we didn't pull the trigger but we kidnapped him, didn't we?" Sledge shook his head hard, unable to wrap his mind around the fact that he had enjoyed beating the man a little bit before his death. If murder had been mentioned, Sledge would never had gotten into this.

A stubbier version of his brother but with a bit more hair on his head and a cigar sticking out of his mouth instead of tobacco, Rick shrugged. "You're right. We've gone too far to turn back. This is easy money after all."

"Yeah...and all you had to do was hit a kid up side the head," Sledge chuckled sarcastically, "Aren't we a couple of brave ones?"

Rick chuckled then too, uncaring of their spiritual status and why should he? After all, they were sitting up high and dry in this stand of trees while the family below them worried and grew more likely to make a mistake. He shrugged and turned back to his cards and the chance of beating his brother at the game.


	10. Chapter 10

Looking down on the slumbering house from a outcropping close by, a man sat in the cold, getting restless, his hands twirling a forgotten telescope in circles. He questioned his decision to leave Carson City and go to the Ponderosa but in the end, he was glad he was there. At least from here he could be closer to his adversaries and keep his thumb on all operations but still, he was getting very impatient for something to happen. A growl came from his throat and he kicked at a stone that had been lurking at his feet. Standing, he drew his tall frame to the edge of the precipice, angling the telescope to catch any movement around the door but nothing. Still nothing. He turned his position until the eyepiece was directed to a small group of trees down below, a distance from the house and barn. Movement could be seen there and the observer sniffed with amusement at the two men sitting down there, as cold as him but, unbeknownst to the idiots, with no money coming their way.

Tiring of the activity, the observer made a deadly decision as he snuck down the hill through the brush and the trees, using every muscle in his body to remain a part of the landscape. The Paiute heritage evident in his black hair and olive skin served him well in this instance, learned cunning making his steps muted into a fatal approach. The silence only fueled the adrenaline pumping through him as he reached to his belt. The glint of a knife blade flashed in the moonlight as he drew near. A pained grunt was heard twice as first one of the brothers fell then the other under the steeled attack. Their blood poured out into the dead leaves at the base of the trees, a softer resting place than they deserved.

Panting with exertion, he let a smile cross his face and he took one long, deep breath to quell the need for air. The knife was cleaned carefully with a few large leaves before being nestled back into its sheath. He retreated, running closer and closer to the house until he crouched in trees by the yard. He listened, straining to hear any disturbance at all but nothing reached his sharp ears. Placing a hand on the comforting handle of the knife, he ventured a foot out into the clearing but then the appearance of two armed men walking around the side of the house stopped him in his tracks. He pulled back into the inky blackness, his eyes narrowing upon hearing the snatches of conversation that reached his senses.

"Don't ya think Hoss is overdoin' it jest a might?" grumbled the first man as the two walked slowly, rifles resting on broad shoulders.

"Maybe, but too many ungodly goings-on have happened lately and I don't like it. Me...I'm glad to sit on the house for as long as the Cartwrights want. What happened to that little lad can't be forgiv'n. I'd love to shoot the cowards who would hurt a child!"

"You and me both...I'll still be happy when the sheriff shows up tomorrow. It's about time we'd gotten some real help."

The two men moved out of sight but not before two more armed guards circled from around the barn and then two more from the back of the house. The observer nodded to himself, satisfied with what he had seen. Paying some thought to what he should do next, he decided to pay an old friend a visit and he made his way back up the crest to his horse. Mounting up on the animal, he kicked it back towards town, arriving in the small town of Gold Hill awhile later. He pulled up in front of a boarding house and dismounted. Running up the trail of staircases, he knocked on a polished door that didn't seem to blend in with the shabby building.

Inside, Anderson glanced up from his glass of whiskey and rose to cautiously answer the door. "Ah, it's only you, Lem. Come in, come in. Well, what's the news from Carson City? I received your telegram but there wasn't much detail," Anderson commented as he settled back into his seat.

The Carson City deputy sat on the neat bed opposite the other man. "I know but I have to be cautious. One can't be too careful, after all."

Anderson held out a second glass of whiskey which was taken with thanks. "What did you tell Sheriff Henderson when the wagons were leaving, so to speak, so that he didn't suspect why you wanted to stay behind?"

"I didn't have to tell him anything," Lem Dudley chuckled, "He left me behind as the trusted protector of Carson City, no less. He chose a couple of volunteers to serve under him and that was that. Gave me all of the specifics of the little trek too, in case there was **trouble**...I have them right here."

Anderson took the papers given him and perused the scribbled notes and the marks on a well-worn map of Nevada, namely the region around Virginia City and Carson City. A large X marked a spot about a day's ride from the Ponderosa, standing out in faint pencil. "This is where the party is camped, is it?"

Dudley nodded and grinned slightly, quite pleased with himself it would seem. "As we speak in fact."

"They are taking quite a long way around, aren't they? The main roads are so much faster, after all you got here in only a few hours..." Anderson mused, a frown twisting his face.

Dudley laughed, as if a joke came to mind that had him tickled. "Yes, Henderson and young Joe Cartwright wanted to go by way of the back trails in order to appear more vulnerable. The whole point of this expedition is to try and test our hand. The funny thing is that we **will** be taking the bait, just with much more manpower than they could ever hope to defend against," the chuckle turned into a calculating stare that went unnoticed, "Speaking of which, did you find the help we will need?"

Anderson nodded, taking a long sip of his whiskey, shaking his head afterward to dispel the rush of fire down his throat. "Shane Menson owed me a favor from years back. I lied on the witness stand some time ago that I hadn't seen him murder three innocent people in cold blood," a smirk came to the pudgy face, "He was more than happy to help with our little problem now, let me tell you...just as soon as I threatened to admit my perjury. His gang is camped out by Boke's Creek, just outside of town. He told me to use the code word, 'dog' when approaching. Don't forget that or you might end up getting shot."

Dudley sat back with his elbows on the bed and stretched out his legs, crossing his feet and nursing the glass of whiskey in his hands. "No worries there, " his eyes narrowed, "By the way, have you made any other wheels in motion except for those two morons sitting on the Ponderosa right now?"

Anderson turned with a tense expression. "How do you know about that?"

"You didn't answer my question, partner."

"No...no, no I don't have any other 'wheels' in motion. And those 'morons', as you call them, are busy keeping the Cartwrights nerves on edge. Get any man riled enough and he is blinded by fear. Such blind men are hardly a threat."

Dudley pushed to his feet and strode to the window behind Anderson's chair. "But a wounded animal is difficult to corner...still perhaps your idea was not too bad after all...exhaustion takes it toll and the Cartwrights have to be feeling it after the constant pokes you've given them. Now is the perfect time to strike."

"And where are you planning this genius strike?" Anderson said sarcastically.

"Give me that map," Dudley ordered as he snatched the smooth paper into his hand. His dirty fingernail traced the path the caravan was taking and stopped upon coming to a point of interest. "I think I should take the advantage right here. I know this spot well. Woods on either side of the trail and a rock face rising on the right. They'll be boxed in and trapped."

"Fine...when will they reach that location tomorrow?"

"Early morning, very early, I would say. It's only some miles from their campsite..." Dudley said with a dangerous glint in his eyes as he glanced at Anderson staring into the fire. Years of friendship faded away as the crooked deputy wondered why he was sharing this information anyway when the other man had been of no help whatsoever. Anderson has always been worthless, even since their early days. All he had done lately was cause more and more suspicion to come their way. Such a failure deserved no more loyalty when the wealth could be taken by the one to whom it was deserved. Dudley pulled himself up over the unsuspecting man and stepped to the side, drawing his gun. Anderson whipped around at the sound of the gun cocking, his glass crashing to the floor.

"Dudley, what the hell are you doing!"

"Taking what is mine, what I need...and I don't need you anymore, friend," was the response, the last word hissed out.

"But...but, why! I've always done exactly what you've said, even since we were young! Without me, a half-breed like you never would have amounted to anything...how dare you threaten me, sir!" Anderson blustered but still unable to keep the fear out of his face as his eyes met those of his one-time comrade.

His black eyes unblinking, Dudley's eyebrows came together angrily. "THAT is the last mistake you will ever make..."

The gun exploded in a flash of fire. In the blink of an eye, the bullet sped through the air and impacted with flesh, the force throwing the victim from his chair. He landed on the floor, dead, a bullet through his brain. A few last twitches of incensed muscles, a last choked exhale and then the body was quiet, a life taken and thrown to the winds of heaven. The killer holstered his gun, staring down at the corpse then he turned on his heel and left the room. The door slammed and the room was silent, undisturbed. No one in the building was even concerned enough to come and check on the gunshot, there being so many of them every day reverberating off the walls. Growing cold, Anderson lay still as the sun began its ascent to daylight and another day began, the hours of which he would never see.


	11. Chapter 11

**Jenkins-** _the somewhat elderly but resourceful man who kidnapped Evangeline in "Smoke Rings In The Dark" but who treated her well and even possessed a small affection for his captive before allowing her to escape. Only she knows what he looks like._

Miles away from the bloody scene, the sheriff's camp was awakened at the crack of dawn by the bright sun spilling through the trees above. The men roused, putting away their bedrolls and the animals were fed with all due haste. Then all six present sat down around their campfire in order to eat breakfast and discuss the day's events. Joe remained quiet for the most part, deep in his own thoughts and worries. The sheriff on the other hand was more than energetic as he withdrew a map from his saddlebags and began discussing the day's route, one that would take them along several back roads and trails before coming out on the main road to Virginia City. For the most part, Joe agreed with the plans but one part concerned him enough to argue with. He refrained from speaking however until he could get Henderson alone later as the two were saddling their horses.

"Sheriff, I think we should alter our path a few miles to the west today."

Henderson turned from cinching his saddle girth and looked thoughtfully at the young man. "I assume you have a good reason."

"Call me paranoid but I have a gut feeling that we'll be ambushed if we continue on the same way. What if someone overheard any part of our plan back in Carson City beside the people who were meant to? Wouldn't it be prudent to shake up the works a little bit?"

Henderson shrugged, reaching for the stirrup slung across his saddle. "You couldn't have brought up this up before now?"

"Sorry, didn't mean to put you out," Joe snipped as he turned his back and yanked on his own cinch, "But, like I said, I don't have any solid fact to go off of here. I simply think we need to be flexible and it wouldn't hurt to change course a little bit, would it?"

Rolling his eyes, the sheriff scratched the back of his neck, staring at the ground. "I guess not. Fine, we'll do it your way, after all you did come to me in the first place for help. But try to remember who has the final say around here? I'm getting a little tired of your constant opinions."

The younger man simply sniffed at the last statement as he mounted up on his horse and rode away towards the wagon, his back stiff and straight. Henderson watched him go with a frown. "Can't understand that boy. As flighty as a colt in springtime," he mused. Still, over the past two days, young Cartwright had shown himself to be adept at strategy and the sheriff found himself kind of liking him although he still got under his skin for some reason that couldn't be figured out. Though the life in the whippersnapper was refreshing, it still made the older man a little melancholy over the fact that he didn't have a son to teach and bring along in the world. The life of a lawman never gave enough time to have a wife or a family or any kind of savings for old age. Either a man in that line of work would toil until his dying breath or he could quit but with no provision for the future. He wondered why he ever had gotten himself into a no-win situation like this; barely enough money to survive from day to day, the threat of being murdered very real each waking moment and no hope for the future. At least, that was the opinion that he had built up over ten years of service. Shrugging again to rid himself of nagging regrets, Henderson grabbed the bridle from his saddle horn and started putting the leather apparatus onto his reluctant horse's head.

Still stewing over what had been said but not wanting to let that sour his mood, Joe halted Cochise next to the wagon and dismounted, tying his reins onto the back. The driver, seated up on the seat, looked back as he was joined but made no effort to acknowledge the young man's presence. Resting his rifle on his thigh with the barrel pointed towards the sky, Joe grinned and stuck out his hand.

"My name's Joe Cartwright. I don't believe we've formally met."

The old man warily accepted the gesture. "Jenkins. Not sure why'd ya care."

Joe shrugged. "Never said I did. Just trying to be neighborly."

"Let's move out, men!" Henderson's voice drifted back from his position at the front.

Jenkins gathered the reins and clucked to the team of mules, their ears flopping back as they strained into the harness, beginning the day's journey with a will. Silence closed around the ranks of the six men, their nerves being on high alert with only the jangle of harness and the clip-clop of hooves to disturb the quiet of early morning. An hour passed then another before the caravan came upon a split in the trail, one leading to the west and one veering off more to the south. Henderson raised a hand to halt, reining in his horse to pour over the map taken from his saddlebags. He nodded to himself and motioned down the left trail to the west which was laden with rain puddles and rocks, making for some hard going. Still, Joe was satisfied. His word had been heeded, the wagon bouncing down the alternative track to the main road after all. None of the hired men questioned the change of direction either. As long as they were paid, they didn't care where they went. Jenkins, on the other hand, grew more apprehensive with each passing yard. With each mile, he could feel the noose tightening around his neck a little more. He tried to conceal his agitation but it was soon noticed by the man riding shotgun beside him. The old man's fidgeting got the attention of Joe but nothing was said. Finally, the driver ventured conversation.

"Cartwright's the name, huh?"

"What I said." Joe glanced to his left at his companion and returned his gaze to the landscape, searching for any unwanted company.

"Any relation to a man by the name of Adam Cartwright?"

Intrigued, Joe nodded. "He's my older brother. You a friend of his?"

Jenkins gulped, giving a shake of his gray head, his ancient hat dropping lower on his wrinkled forehead. "No."

 _A man of few words, that's for sure. Like getting water from a rock,_ thought Joe, sitting back on the seat and remaining silent. His eyes scanned the rising hills but found not one thing of interest except to return to the man by his side.

"I, uh...heard you mention a woman last night," Jenkins commented further, trying to keep a waver out of his voice.

Joe frowned, shifting to study the other man's face. "What woman?"

"Evangeline, I thought I heard."

"Yeah...so what? She's Adam's girl, what concern is that of yours?" Joe demanded, his collar feeling hot upon hearing his brother's name spoken in such a probing manner.

His suspicions confirmed, Jenkins backed off as fast as he could. "None...none at all. Jest thought it was a purty name is all...not very common 'round these parts."

"Cartwright!" the sheriff's voice carried back from up the trail. "Get up here!"

Giving Jenkins one last penetrating stare, Joe bounded into the back of the wagon and then into his pinto's saddle. Kicking the horse forward up the trail, the wagon was soon left in a cloud of dust and the old man was left with his thoughts; memories but mostly regrets. Something that had been eating at him for the past weeks. Every day had been torture, the nights restless. Now, at least he knew that she was alive but the revelation that he was riding with Adam Cartwright's brother was a little too close for comfort. If he hadn't needed money so bad he never would have gone on this trip and he regretted it now. The thought of coming face to face with the elder Cartwright brother was enough to send a shakiness right to the knees.

Up ahead, Joe pulled his horse to a stop next to Henderson who thumbed in the direction behind them. "We should be in Virginia City tonight instead of the morning. I'm sending you on ahead. To inform Coffee of our arrival." He received no response only a frown. "Got another problem?"

Joe took a deep breath to hold his tongue. "Are you sure you want a gun to leave? I think it would be better if I stayed."

"I'm not asking, am I?"

"What's with you anyway?" Joe couldn't hold his irritation at bay any more. "Is everything I say a source of contention to you? My god, you sound like my brother, Adam, when he's in one of his moods!"

"I'm done arguing. Get going or I can turn my men around right now!"

Joe couldn't believe his ears as he reined Cochise to a sudden halt, the horse flinging his head in protest. "You are seriously threatening me now! Fine. If it means that much to you, I'm gone!"

At that last retort, Joe put his heel to Cochise and the two lunged into a gallop up the trail towards Virginia City. With a small grin lighting his lips, Henderson nudged his own horse back into a spirited trot. The morning was bright and still young, a little danger on the horizon; he felt like he'd gained those ten years back after all this time.

The sun, rising into a blue sky amid blazing reds and pinks, sent its rays gently beaming through the window of Adam's room, the light creeping across the hardwood floor until it touched his face with warm caresses. He squinted in his sleep, unconsciously rolling his head on the pillow to try and coax himself back into the peace but failed, already feeling himself spiraling into the jaws of reality. He opened his eyes and for a moment was confused as to where he was. The light blinded him until his pupils dilated and he could make out the familiar structures in his room. A smile teased the corner of his mouth as he laid his head back and relaxed, a sigh escaping him. Something moved against him and he started, glancing to his left.

Surprise melted into love as Evangeline's sleeping face met his gaze, a smile drifting over her beautiful features. The light illuminated her tousled brown hair, making her appear more of an angel than a woman. He was enraptured, riveted to each change, to each shadow of movement that crossed her face as she yawned, a soft coo escaping. She snuggled closer to the heat that was him. Her head returned to his chest, her arm coming to drape across his waist and her hand hugging him tight. Then a sigh came from her and he realized that she was still deep in slumber, unknowing of her actions. He knew that he should be getting up and seeing if Jody was awake but then he noticed yet another person in his room.

Hop Sing inclined his head with a smile from his perch on the bedside chair. "Master Jody doing fine," he said in a whisper, pointing to the bed. "Woke two hours ago, asked for you. I showed him you sleeping and he was happy to go back to sleep too."

"Did he say anything about who attacked him?" Adam asked, duty replacing, what he deemed was the selfish pleasure he had indulged in by falling asleep. He looked down at Evangeline who was still undisturbed and he met Hop Sing's eyes again to which the other man shook his head.

"No, he didn't. Very groggy, he was. He wanted to know that you were there."

Adam nodded and a grin dissolved the worry on his face. "Thank you, Hop Sing...what would I do without you?"

Touched and a little embarrassed, the little man averted his eyes and stood. "Go get breakfast for you and Missy. Brothers and father already up but Mr. Ben tell you to take time. Sheriff not coming for hours, he said. No hurry."

Adam watched his friend go with hazel eyes that were full of gratitude, their brown hues capturing the light and turning golden. Lazy branches brushing against the glass, the sunny window took his attention once again and he realized with a pain that this was the first lovely morning that hadn't instantly reminded him of another fateful day. Of the sun kissing his wet skin upon exiting a certain bathhouse where his youngest brother still was endeavoring to scrub months of trail dust from his own skin. The memory, most poignant, plagued Adam's brain as it had on many other instances but this time, it was not so threatening somehow...

 _With a laugh at Joe's expense, Adam stepped from under the low beam of the doorway and into the welcoming sunshine. The rough wood of the handle tickling the calluses on his hand, he closed the door while raising his upturned face to the heat. The intensity from the rays created a most pleasant feeling as leftover moisture from his body evaporated, leaving behind only steamed warmth. Goosebumps rippled his flesh as a shiver seized him suddenly and he flexed his shoulders to ward it off. The black Stetson dangling from his right hand was brought up to rest deftly on his clean hair, the studded band teasing his fingertips as they pulled away. Adam took a deep breath and grinned to himself, feeling quite the young buck. He walked to his horse and tied the saddle roll on the back of his saddle. He vaulted onto Sport's back with one jump, mimicking the habit of his youngest brother. Nudging the chestnut into a rolling canter, he couldn't help noticing the glances and giggles directed his way by several young ladies walking across the street. One of them even dared enough to smile and wink at him to which she was promptly poked in the ribs by a jealous companion. The girls had obviously been watching him the entire time since his departure from the bathhouse and he was in the mood for a little teasing so he pulled Sport to a walk in front of the group._

" _Good day, ladies, lovely day, isn't it?" he said as he removed his hat, then replaced it while giving the one young woman a wink back. She just stared and he chuckled loud enough for them to hear, kicking his horse away and out of town. The wind hit him once he had reached the rise overlooking Eastgate and he paused again, enjoying the fresh air without a hint of manure, sweat or filth. Yes, he was feeling fine and ready for a relaxing trip home..._

 _Why was that day filled with so much fun and then it took such a horrid turn?_ Adam wondered intensely as he had many times before. _I was so full of myself that day...maybe I had it coming. I had to have done something after all to deserve such treatment by the powers that be. Why did I have to be robbed that day? Why did I not be smarter and keep a better look-out for bandits instead of joy riding my way through?...Why didn't I leave when I noticed something going wrong with him? I should have known he wouldn't live up to the bargain...I don't get it...I just don't understand..._

"Good morning..." a woman's voice penetrated and stopped the loop Adam was finding himself in.

He returned to the present at the simple greeting and smiled at his love sleepily gazing up at him from under her long eyelashes. "How did you sleep?" he replied, kissing her forehead wistfully.

Evangeline yawned again and stretched languidly. "Well enough...how is our sweet patient?"

"Still sleeping upon last report. Hop Sing was here when I woke up."

"I just love that man, he is like an angel, always hovering near. Does he ever sleep?"

Adam chuckled warmly as he brushed the hair from her eyes. "Sometimes, I wonder. Pa, nor us boys for that matter, would have survived without him after Marie's death."

Evangline smiled softly, enjoying the wave of gentleness that came to her beloved's face. "I noticed you were thinking of something just now. I had to speak twice before you heard me. "

"Just memories. You know, all of the silly trifles...the questions that make up each human beings' consciousness."

"Coming from you, nothing you think is ever a trifle, my love."

"I'm glad you think so but I don't hold that opinion myself. There a great many things that I should let go but can't seem to. Anyway, memories are just water under the bridge and hardly worth mentioning now," Adam commented, evading any more probes into his most private troubles.

Evangeline traced his lips with a finger, rising onto an elbow to lean in close. "Care to make another memory, handsome?"

"Depends. What did you have in mind?"

"Something along these lines..." She intoned as she kissed his neck, traveling up his chin to his mouth, her hands intertwining in his soft, black locks. He couldn't hold the moan that escaped from his throat while he surrendered briefly to her will.

He returned her ardor but, being a man who liked control, he soon grew tired of being on the bottom of the kiss. He took her in his arms and rolled over, wresting her upper body under his chest. Then it was his turn to make her moan as he placed kisses close together, moving from her left ear to her right. She pushed him back and they both giggled quietly at their antics as she tried to go up against his powerful strength without success, only ending up on her back again, his right hand having captured both of her slim wrists. In any other man, his advantage would have terrified her but not from him...no, not Adam Cartwright. His iron grip on her arms softened instantly, fingertips brushing her cheek and lips subtly parting as he lowered his head for one more kiss, long and deep this time. Her hands moved to cup his shoulder blades, rubbing his back. At last, the couple parted, their eyes opening and meeting in mutual happiness.

"Do you know how much I love you, woman?" he growled, a feline grin twisting his lips.

"I doubt that it is more than I love you," she whispered back, touching the tip of his nose in a playful gesture.

Adam sighed and grimaced upon reading the clock hanging on his wall. Two minutes past five-thirty. "Time to get moving, my dear," he quipped, pecking her on the lips before untangling himself from the blanket, rising to his feet and gallantly helping her up as well. He moved to the other side of the bed to check on Jody while she briskly folded the blankets, putting them and the pillow back into Adam's closet. She then joined him, sneaking under his arm and wrapping her arms around his waist. They stared down upon the little boy, as his real parents might have had they been still alive. Evangeline smiled to herself and decided that now was the perfect time to speak of a decision she had made recently.

"Adam?"

"Mmmm..." Adam grunted, lightly massaging her shoulder as he was lost in his own thoughts while observing the child that had wormed his way deep into his heart.

She continued, "I've been thinking very much about what we talked about that night on your birthday. In the garden? About Jody? I know we will have many challenges as man and wife but...I would be honored to accept this little child as my own."

Shocked, Adam stared into her face, at first not sure that he had heard right. "Are you serious?"

She laughed gently. "Of course, silly, I would never make light of such an important subject. Hmm, Evangeline and Jody Cartwright...how does that sound to you?"

Adam's eyes fairly glowed with life. "Good...oh, so very good. Are you sure though? You're not just doing this for me?"

"No...I love you but I wouldn't take on a child if I wasn't sure. You'll have to know that quirk about me right now. But I still want you alone for the first few days. A week is all I ask. I want to be able to be your wife without worrying about anything else."

Adam couldn't hold himself back any longer and kissed her then and there, cutting off whatever else she might say. His dream was coming true and he could honestly say that he had never felt this full and happy before in his life. Emotion choked him as he tried to tell her through actions how much he adored her. The kiss ended but he fairly clung to her, stroking her hair and inhaling its fragrance.

"Adam..." a small voice interrupted.

Adam snapped back from the hug and dropped on his knees by the bed. "I'm here, buddy, how are you feeling?"

Jody blinked as he searched the man's face and then the face of the pretty lady above him. "A man hit me, Adam, why did he hit me?"

"I don't know, Jody, but I promise you that I **will** be finding out. Do you remember anything that could help me?"

Jody looked scared to think of that but a smile from Adam calmed him. "He was tall...big...his face was kind of like yours."

Adam was puzzled until he raised a hand to his cheek and felt the stubble. Smiling still, he nodded and patted Jody's shoulder to encourage more description. "What else can you tell me?"

Jody squinted, concentrating hard. "He limped, I think. The shadow, it...it moved really far to the left. Then everything was black and I can't remember anything else."

Adam's eyes darkened with anger upon thinking of the coward who would do such a thing. He felt pressure on his neck and knew that Evangeline was offering her support. He steadied his breath and reached out to gently ruffle Jody's hair. "Thank you, buddy, you've done more than well. Now, would you like anything to eat or drink?"

Jody glanced at Evangeline and then back to the man by his side. "I think I just want to go back to sleep, Adam. But...did you really mean that?"

"What are you talking about?" Adam asked, puzzled as to why Jody would be asking such a question about breakfast.

"Do you mean it that you and Miss Evangeline are going to look after me?" Jody replied, glancing blankly at one and then the other of the adults.

Adam whistled low as he looked at Evangeline whose stunned expression turned into a sheepish smile and she delicately shrugged. He took her hand in his as he rose and brought her close. With his free hand, he took Jody's nearest "We were meaning to tell you when you were better but, yes...we would be honored to have you live with us but only if you want to. I still have to see if you have any responsible relatives to take you in."

Jody shook his head hard. "I don't want anyone else, Adam! I want to stay with you...only..." the boy's eyes watered with tears and he turned his head away, fear strong in him, "Do I have to call you...Pa? Do I have to call Miss Evangeline...Mama?"

A pain stabbed at Adam's heart for he had never thought of this problem popping up but of course the fear made sense. It would just take some time for him to get used to not be addressed as a father. He used two fingers to turn back the boy's head to look at himself. "My boy, I would never force you into anything at all. For now, just call me Adam and you can call my wife, Aunt Evangeline, when we marry. Eventually, maybe we all can decide on different names but not today or anytime soon. Don't worry about it, alright?"

Evangeline felt her own tears as Jody gave a small cry of delight and wrapped his arms around Adam's neck tightly as if he never wanted to let go. For the first time that she had seen, the boy's face was radiant with happiness and all because he knew he was wanted. _What beautiful, sweet creatures, children are,_ she observed _._ By and by, Adam extricated himself from the little arms and lay Jody back down carefully, covering the small body with the covers. Jody yawned, his eyes growing sleepy again.

"I love you...Adam..." came a childish whisper as Jody drifted off into another land where things made sense all of the time.

"Sleep well, son...sweet dreams..." Adam whispered, stroking the dark hair of the head that filled his large hand. The responsibility of caring for this innocent soul hit him broadside and he felt overwhelmed by it for an instant. But only until the soft fingers on his neck moved to both of his shoulders, squeezing firmly to let him know that she was there, sharing this precious moment of a family forming into one for the very first time. He rose and turned to her, ushering her out and closing the door quietly. His eyes met hers as she stood looking at him with a quiet appraisal.

"What?" His eyebrows raised in a questioning manner.

She smiled, placing her hands squarely on his chest, feeling the strength in the deep muscles, the beat of his strong heart. "Seeing you in there just now...I realized that I not only love you but I am so very proud of you...and humbled that you would choose me to stand by you. You will make a wonderful father, my wild one. He will grow up as brave as you and just as kind but with all the spirit of your black stallion."

"Now you make me blush, my lady," Adam chuckled, "And you haven't called me that name in awhile...I rather like it. It makes me feel more grand than I really am. You do know how to flatter my ego. Just one more reason why I adore you, isn't it?"

Evangeline giggled, teasing by repeatedly trying out the pet name as she closed in for another kiss. He silenced her with his own before offering his arm to escort her to her room where he bid her to refresh herself before joining him for breakfast downstairs. She went in and closed the door, leaning against the wood and listened to his firm footsteps striding down the hall to the stairs. Suddenly, she felt a surge of giddiness and ran across the room, landing on the soft bed with a plop and a squeal. She told herself that she shouldn't be acting like a schoolgirl after her first date. After all, she was going to be a wife and a mother more than soon. But she then reasoned that it wasn't her fault entirely...her fiancé could make every waking moment seem as if it was a first date with him. Collecting her happy heart, she rushed to go through her ablutions so that she could join him once again.


	12. Chapter 12

Once Adam had appeared on the steps for breakfast, Hop Sing took one look at him in the light of day and began muttering loudly in his native tongue. Placing a plate of scrambled eggs on the table and coming over, the cook tisked and grunted disapprovingly as he looked over the eldest Cartwright son. Noting the dullness of Adam's hair, the circles under his eyes and taking into account the limp that had followed him down the stairs, Hop Sing was far less than pleased. Ben and Hoss couldn't contain their guffaws as the battle of wills began in earnest.

"You need soak in tub and good food!" The cook stated, supporting his charge and making him sit in Ben's red chair to relieve any strain on his back.

Adam tried to wave off the concerns, feeling that they were unwarranted. "Now, Hop Sing, I've got more important things to do than laze around in the washroom all day! I just need some breakfast and then I'll be on my way to town."

Hop Sing firmly shoved the young man back into the seat when Adam tried to get up. "You sit horse and I quit! No foolishment, must save strength for coming fights. Mr. Hoss! Help brother, I boil water."

Adam sat in surprised silence as Hoss came to his side. "Well, Adam, ya got your orders. Throw an arm out here and I'll help ya up."

"But, I have to get Evangeline back in time for the restaurant opening!" came the protest but Hoss would hear none of it.

"It's only 'bout fifteen to six. You'll get to town in plenty of time but only after you've done what Hop Sing said and ONLY when I've hitched up the buggy for you and Angie. Got it?"

Adam rolled his eyes and glared at his family, who stared back, unblinking and without a hint of sympathy. It looked as if he would be the object for their amusement that morning. Usually that special person was Joe but since his youngest brother wasn't there, Adam decided to relent. Sighing, he visibly pouted as he accepted his big brother's help and Hoss lifted him up to his feet. As the two men walked, Hop Sing appeared in the kitchen hallway with his arms crossed on his small chest, a large towel slung over his shoulder and a scowl drawing the corners of his mouth to the floor. Seeing the black eyebrows drawing down on the slanted eyes, Ben barely contained his laughter, his shoulders shaking with the effort. The guard stood strong until the two Cartwright sons were past him and then he glanced at Ben and winked.

Evangeline appeared on the staircase and heard the vestiges of laughter coming from the table. She smiled as she worked her way downstairs, pinning up the last stray hairs into the neat bun at the base of her neck. Ben looked up when he heard the clicks of a woman's shoe and he smiled in return.

"Good morning, my dear. I take it you slept well?" he smirked, rising to hold out a chair for her to join him. He sat again, watching for a reaction.

Evangeline almost blushed but then raised a proud chin at him as she reached for a piece of toast and the jar of strawberry preserves. "I got your son to sleep, didn't I? As I recall...you couldn't. I just got a little sleepy myself in the process."

Ben's eyes twinkled, a warm laugh coming from his deep chest. With a wry smile to herself, she decided that Adam had definitely taken after his father's side of the family in more ways than one. She hid her face in her coffee cup until Ben reached up to take her left hand in his fingers. A gentleness shone from his chocolate eyes and it was as if she was staring into another's loving pools of color. Ben's rich voice followed as he began to speak.

"That day...after Adam had been shoulder-shot and I took you for a walk...I remember you said that you didn't think you could handle being his wife..."

Evangeline lowered her gaze, afraid of what she would hear next. Ben squeezed her fingers and continued, "Well, you were dead wrong. You are the angel in all of our lives that brighten everyone's days. Even with all that has happened these last months, I haven't seen Adam this contented and happy for a very long time. I remember..."

He paused in his thought and Evangeline withdrew her hands in order to give him time while she placed small spoonfuls of food on her plate. When she focused attention upon his face once more, it was full of fond memories.

"Has Adam told you about Marie?" Ben inquired, reaching for a powdered donut and munching on it thoughtfully.

Evangeline cocked her head at the question. "Yes, he did but not indepth. He doesn't like to talk about those days. Whenever I ask, he closes up and changes the subject."

Ben nodded sadly, letting himself drift back to happier times. "He was far from joyful when I brought Marie home but he grew used to the idea. He was so young then, after all, only eleven and Hoss was six. Within a year and a half, Joe joined our merry household and life was good. Those next four years were so full of life and love. The ranch was thriving and growing stronger with each passing day, it seemed."

Evangeline smiled as she imagined the young family sitting around this very table, their laughter echoing in the great room. "It sounds wonderful."

"It was. Marie was busy almost constantly with Joe, Hoss and keeping the house in order but she always tried to find a few spare moments for our eldest. Adam, he kept to himself most of the time when he wasn't working with me but I remember catching Marie with him more than once. He would be helping her out in the garden or covered in flour while helping to bake cookies for some sick friend. They laughed a lot then. She...she knew how to make each child feel special for who they were. Adam thrived on that." Ben looked into her eyes and smiled softly. "I see that same trait in you. He feels loved when he's around you, I can tell, something that I've never noticed in him before. He has had a couple of other women in his life but none that he would open up to except for Inger and then Marie. I'm so glad you're here with us now, my dear."

"I am too, Ben. I feel proud to be a part of such a family as yours," she said, every word full of emotion that Ben didn't miss.

They continued their meal in silence until Evangeline realized that the man of whom they spoke wasn't present, nor Hoss. "Speaking of whom, where is that handsome betrothed of mine?"

Ben laughed, lightening the atmosphere. "Getting d

rowned in the washroom." At her alarmed look, he waved her back in her seat quickly. "No, no, everything's alright. Hop Sing decided that Adam needed a good soak in the tub and Hoss had to go along to help."

"Oh," she said with some relief, "I'm glad someone was able to get him to take care of himself in that way. I noticed certain items but I felt that it wouldn't sound good if such a thing came from me."

Ben laughed again but then a thought came to him. "You didn't mention something to Hop Sing, did you?"

"Why, of course not! How could you think that I would say something so underhanded," Evangeline protested but with a knowing look that implied otherwise. Ben nearly sent coffee across the table as he convulsed into laughter, joined by her merry giggle. Pleasant in each other's company, they slowly ate while waiting for the other two men.

I* * * * *I

Despite his irritation that it had been forced on him, Adam was more than thankful for the warm water and the soothing salts that Hop Sing had sprinkled in. He sighed and sank lower, the warmth rippling against his neck. Leaning his head on the rim of the tub, he winced at the sudden pain in his lower back. It gradually passed but it lasted long enough to confirm that a buckboard was a good idea. As comfortable a ride as Sport was, there wasn't much more Adam's back could take at the moment and he realized that with a growl of frustration.

Hoss appeared from around the white, privacy sheet and, without a word, sat in a chair by the wall. He crossed his legs, leaning forward and grasping his knees as he observed his brother. Adam glanced at him with a look that said he didn't like being watched while bathing. His frown diminished though upon seeing the worry flitting across Hoss' face.

"I'm fine, brother. Thank you for your help though. A tub is kind of a slippery thing to navigate right now."

"Ya don't have to explain. And you can thank me by telling me exactly what's going on. You're a heck of lot easier to see through then ya think. Ya can fool Pa, maybe even Joe but not me."

Adam regarded his gentle brother with a kind eye. "When did you get to know me so well?"

Hoss grunted, grinning from across the room. "I don't know. Maybe all those dang hours riding cattle drives with your sorry hide back when Joe was still too close to the ground to sit a horse proper."

"Could be. More like you love sticking your big nose where it doesn't belong."

Hoss laughed again but sobered quickly. He was determined not to let Adam distract him. "I meant what I said, what's up? Is it Jody? Or your gal?"

Adam smiled at their names being mentioned. "No, they are just fine. Or I should say that my family is fine...Evangeline told me this morning that she wanted to adopt Jody and have him live with us after the wedding."

"Aww, Adam, I'm so happy fer ya. You'll make a terrific pa too, just as long as ya curb those bossy ways of yours. What about Meeker though? I hate to say this but doesn't he have prior claim on the boy?"

"Not if I have anything to do with it!" Adam growled, a vein in his forehead throbbing into view as he grabbed for the soap and caused quite a bit of water to splash on the floor. He scrubbed his arms with vicious intent before slowing. Sheepishly, he cooled down and glanced at his brother again who was waiting patiently. "I'm sorry, it's just...I'm worried. I don't trust Meeker but I think he may be able to help us. While you were still back in the kitchen getting the last of the water, Hop Sing told me that Meeker has been asking for me...says that he had some information I might find useful."

"And you don't want to deal with this, do ya?"

Adam growled again, his fist hitting the water's surface. "Would you? I finally have a woman I love and a boy that needs me. They are very precious to me, Hoss...I can't lose them."

Hoss frowned but nodded in agreement. "I know...but you're not alone, ya know. You'll always have me, Pa, Joe and Hop Sing, not to mention that little gal will never leave. I can tell that just from the way she looks at ya sometimes. But...ya got a powerful lot of fear inside. I'm not joking when I say that fear will drive all of us away and her if ya don't leave it behind. You'll have to deal with the problem in the guest room too. Legally, ya have no claim on Jody but Meeker does. Ya got to accept that and give that boy the choice. Ya have to tell him, Adam. He deserves to know he has an uncle. Wouldn't you want to know too if you found out your ma had a brother somewheres?"

Stunned, Adam stared hard at the few suds left in his bathwater. His eyes burned, he couldn't breathe. His heartbeat throbbed in his ears, the truth pulsing over and over again until he felt as if he was going mad. His chest tightened but not a sound escaped, instead he busied himself with rinsing himself and then he braced his arms on the edge of the tub. Hoss jumped up to come help him but Adam pushed him away, not hard but making his wish for independence clear. Hoss understood but stubbornly remained close in case disaster struck. Making it to his feet, Adam stepped from the water carefully. He reached for a towel, dried himself as best he could and moved to the neat pile of clothes brought in by Hop Sing earlier.

As Adam dressed, Hoss put his hands deep in his pockets and walked out of the room, knowing that he had hurt his brother but that those words had to be said by someone. Coming out into the kitchen, he leaned up against the counter. Hop Sing turned from washing dishes and frowned, his eyes crinkling with compassion. He shuffled over to the big man and placed a hand on the strong, muscled arm. There they stayed, a friend comforting the other in silence, neither needing to speak and both understanding. Adam walked through a moment later, his limp gone and his back straight in stubbornness. Hoss sighed and moved to follow him through the hallway and into the dining room.

"Ah, there you two are!" Evangeline smiled, gazing up at Adam, noting how shiny his hair looked and the dampness glistening at his neck. A soft breeze of sweet soap had followed him into the room and she resisted a shiver, thinking of the kisses she wanted to share later. "Are you feeling refreshed, darling?"

But Adam didn't respond. The smile fell from her face. She reached out to him as he tried to walk past her and halted him with a hand to his chest, her eyes looking into his. He paused and met her gaze, stooping to peck her on the cheek and squeezing her hand before continuing on his way, into the guest bedroom. The door closed quietly and Ben glanced around with questions on his lips. But seeing Hoss picking at his food in miserable silence and Evangeline staring behind herself at the closed door, he decided to keep his mouth shut. From then on, breakfast was a quiet affair that couldn't be over too soon. Hoss rose with still no word and left to do the chores, the door closing behind himself with a slam that made Evangeline jump. She turned to Ben in confusion.

"What could have happened?"

"With my boys, get used to never knowing," Ben sighed and rose to hold her chair as she joined him. Her arm through his, they walked towards his office to talk, leaving the table ready for Hop Sing to clear who appeared as if by magic, right on time. Deep in his own thoughts, the little man prayed in unison to the clink of dishes.


	13. Chapter 13

As the door closed quietly behind himself, Adam stood staring at the bed and its occupant. The sleeping man's color looked improved from the last time Adam had saw him, his breathing more even and indicating a healthy recovery. It would seem that the superficial signs at least were hopeful for Meeker. _I should have come sooner..._ Adam thought guiltily, _Its been days since I saw him last and then I was chewing him out. Hoss is right...he can't be as bad as I think if he had a sister like Anne and a nephew...like Jody. Give him a fighting chance, Cartwright, stop being so pig-headed!_

He approached the bed and sat on the edge, waiting for the other man to awaken. The time gave him the chance to digest what had been said between him and his brother. He didn't want to admit it but fear had claimed him for too long. Looking back on the previous conservation days before, Adam realized that Meeker had shown a sincere love for his sister but that didn't mean that he could be trusted. A scowl crept over Adam's face, evidence of his struggle. He wanted to see justice done but the thought of Jody wanting to live with someone else was more than Adam could bear without turning numb and cold from the inside out. He desperately wanted the boy and to show him love, to give him a structured childhood and every opportunity under the sun. And Jody's future would be perfect if not for the possibility of another claim being made on him. Yes, Hoss had shown his wisdom though...this problem would never go away and needed to be dealt with head on.

Meeker stirred restlessly, his eyes blinking open and widening upon seeing the man who seemed to loath his guts, sitting on the edge of his bed and staring off into the distance. "Cartwright? So you finally decided to grace me with your presence, have you?"

With slow deliberation, Adam turned his steeled gaze down to regard the man struggling to regain his wits. They stared at each other, two men from completely different backgrounds but one little boy in common. Making a decision, Adam rose and strode to the dresser from which he produced a key. Bringing the silver object back with him, he proceeded to unlock the handcuff encasing Meeker's wrist. The metal fell to the floor with a clatter, leaving George speechless. All he could do was watch the other man as a high-back chair was reached for, swung around and straddled backwards.

"Let's talk. Man to man. No advantage over the other. Sound fair?" Adam intoned, his face blank.

"Your woman must have gotten to you..." Meeker said without thinking. A tightening of the rugged jaw was the only response, indicating dangerous territory had been entered. George cleared his throat nervously. "What is it you want to talk about?"

"What you told Hop Sing. About helping us discover who's behind the attacks that have occurring. I'm listening, this is your chance to clear yourself of any wrongdoing and find yourself back on your wandering road."

George took a deep breath, grimacing at the effort. "I left home at the age of twenty. Anne was being courted by Matt and their marriage appeared inevitable...so I thought, 'Why not? I'll go see the world like I always wanted.' So, I left. I woke Anne in the night to tell her and she insisted on my writing her and I promised I would."

Adam shifted on the chair, raising an impatient eyebrow that told of his growing boredom. Meeker cleared his throat nervously. "Anyway, I left California, going from town to town until I ended up in Nevada, around the Carson City. I was dead broke, you understand, and I met a man then. By the name of Lem Dudley or at least that's the alias he goes by. A meaner half-breed, you'll never meet. As I worked with him, I found out that he's part of a network of spies and thieves spanning the entire state. I regret to say, I became part of it all to earn money. I wanted out of it as soon as I started but I was trapped. Him and his partner paid me to keep an eye on any 'unique opportunities', as the other gent put it. Quite the little, fat snob, that one."

Meeker paused to let a cough rack his body and took a second, catching his breath. Adam crossed his arms on the back of the chair, his eyes wandering as he thought on what he had just been privileged to hear. Then he asked the obvious question. "Who's the partner? I need a name."

"The man you want is Anderson...Silas Anderson. Works for William Sharon of the Bank of California in Gold Hill. Close enough to keep tabs on what's happening in Virginia City and to get information from Dudley."

Adam's eyebrows drew together in dark concentration as he remembered his two associations with Sharon's aide. The man had seemed to exude an air that immediately sparked uneasiness but Adam hadn't been able to figure out why in the past. Now all the shady glances, first in the office and then in the telegraph office, made perfect sense now in retrospect.

"Is Sharon party to this...group?"

Meeker sighed, beginning to feel fatigued. "No, he's not. Too respectable and upstanding to even know about such things going on under his nose."

"Anything else that you've left out?"

"No, except you must be careful if pursuing these men. Anderson has two cronies working for him. Two brothers, big, middle-aged and desperate enough to do his bidding. They could prove to be a problem."

"You think those two are who injured Jody last night?"

Meeker's face went pale. "Jody's been hurt! When? How?"

Seeing the fear in the other man's face, Adam looked away, guilt nibbling on the outer fringes of his conscience. "It happened last night. A blow on the back of the head knocked him out in the barn, presumably from foulplay of some sort. But the doctor said he will be fine after a little rest..."

"That's good...Jody seems to be in good hands..."

The wounded man couldn't continue, a hand coming up to clamp around his stomach, the pain from his wound too much to bear. Another series of coughs tore through him, causing him to bite back more than one cry from the agony that felt like it was ripping his very muscles from their joints. He panted as his breathing eased, his eyes closing with exhaustion.

Adam felt a pang of sympathy, having suffered similar injuries many times over. He stood, coming closer and bent down to place the back of his hand on the glistening forehead. A fever radiated against his skin, sending goosebumps down his back at the hot contact. Nodding to himself, he stood straight once more, staring down at the man who he had made prisoner for the past days. Right was right and wrong was wrong. Striding to the first window then the other, he flung each of them open with a flourish. Fresh air and bright light rushed into the space, it's crisp quality raising his spirits and refreshing the stale bedroom air as he returned to the bed to find the occupant's eyes watching him with interest.

"Is this the first time you've been shot?"Adam inquired in a low tone while he soaked a cloth in the bowl of cold water on the bedstand. Meeker opened his eyes further when the welcome coolness settled on his brow.

"Yeah...the first time...can't say I am enjoying the experience."

Adam nodded without a smile or chuckle, taking a bottle from beside the bowl. He picked up the spoon lying close and he measured a portion of the bottle's contents. Holding the spoon gingerly against Meeker's lips, he raised his eyebrows, indicating the the medicine was to be taken without complaint. Too weak to resist, Meeker complied, managing to swallow the spoonful of laudanum before hiccuping once. The sick man then turned clouded eyes on his benefactor.

"Why the...the change of heart, Cartwright? I got the distinct impression before that you hated my guts."

Adam covered the shivering man with another blanket to his neck before answering. "I was reminded by a wise man, wiser than myself most of the time, that you are related to a certain little boy that, I daresay, we both care for. Anything I do is for Jody, not you. He deserves to see his only uncle alive and well. He deserves that much but so much more. I want you to remember that in the future."

Meeker eyed Adam with a wary gaze, unblinking and still in the bed as a thought came to him. "Are you saying I couldn't take care of him? Do you want him yourself?...Is that what you're trying to say?"

"If you so choose to interpret my words as such than so be it," Adam said bluntly. He turned to go from the bedside but paused with his hand on the doorknob. He glanced back out of the corner of his dark eye. The other man's eyes were staring out of the nearest window, enjoying the sunlight spilling through. Adam grimaced in agreement with himself, knowing he had done right in giving a chance to him. "Get some rest...I'll be back when I need more information."

The door closed with a firm click then the lock could be heard turning into place...and George sighed heavily with frustration. "I'll still be here..."

The passive warning had not gone unnoticed. He was free to move about the room if he could but he was still a prisoner in this house until other arrangements could be made. He only hoped that listening to Evangeline Williams and exposing those dangerous men would pay off in the long run. With a gulp, he also hoped that he was safe from the wrath of said men if they should find out about his betrayal.

I* * * * *I

After Hoss had brought round the horses, Adam collected Evangeline and helped her into the buggy. Silent the entire time since exiting the guest room, he climbed in and took the time to wrap a blanket snugly around her legs. Then he tweaked the reins gently and the sensitive team pushed into the harness with spirit, enjoying the strength of command guiding their way. The ride to town was one of quiet thought as Evangeline had expected and she accepted it instead of trying to create conversation. Regardless of the ruts in the road bouncing the occupants around a bit, they sat rather stiffly, apart from each other; he not aware enough to realize the distance and she not wanting to intrude on his solace. After a time however, she grew chilled from the cold, morning breezes and needed more warmth than just the lifeless blanket across her lap.

With a sigh, she glanced at her handsome fiancé and leaned into him, wrapping her arms about his right one and laying her head on the shoulder of his black coat. She shivered as she began to warm up and smiled, watching his long fingers keep a firm grip on the reins. Life seemed content to her in that moment of time; the young sun was continuing its ascent into a new day and the heat from the man by her side wrapped her in a feeling of safety and protection. Her already strong trust deepened, sealing her heart even closer to his destiny. Where he went, she would follow. Of that much, she could be certain though their future was not. Deciding to revel in the moment, she closed her eyes and let her body settle into him.

Emerging from his fog, Adam glanced down at the soft, warm woman by his side and he smiled down at her, his cheeks dimpling with pleasure. He leaned down and pressed his lips into her scented hair, murmuring his love for her and continued driving until Virginia City came into view. It didn't take long before the buckboard was rumbling down the main street and turned down a side street of pleasant homes. The dusty road was lined with trees and the houses were framed by manicured flower gardens and further evidence of wealthy living. He brought the horses to a smooth halt in front of the Williams' home and turned to Evangeline sound asleep on his shoulder.

"Darling...darling, you're home. Time to wake up, my love," he whispered, caressing the sides of her face to waken her and kissing her forehead gently.

The light touches tickling her face roused her sufficiently and she sat up, eyes blinking to dispel the vestiges of sleep. "I'm sorry, Adam...I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"That's more than alright. You need as much rest as you can get, especially after last night. Do you want me to wait and take you to the restaurant?"

Evangeline shook her head, kissing him on the cheek. "No, you must go on about your important business but...my darling, please be careful. I won't ask what has been troubling you all this morning but ease my heart by promising me that you will do as I ask."

Adam smiled, his hand coming up to drift over the side of her face. His thumb lightly tugged on her bottom lip, opening her mouth slightly and he stared at its inviting depths, wanting to taste the sweetness but knowing if he did that he would never leave her. Instead of a kiss, Adam looked up into her eyes with a burning love in his hazel gaze. "I will never leave you if I have the choice. You are the sun around which my world turns now. In return, I demand that you watch out for yourself too. You better be here when I return."

Evangeline found she had lost her breath. "When? When will you return?"

He sat back, climbing down from the buggy and coming around to help her down. As she slid down his body to rest her feet on solid ground, his cheek dimpled at her soft gasp of desire for him. "Just as soon as I feel that we are free to pursue our love and our marriage. It won't be long. Send word if you need me before then. Go on now. Your father is waiting for you, I can see him observing from the windows."

Evangeline giggled and turned to go, her fingers trailing from Adam's, longing to hold on just a little bit more. He watched her go with both regret and relief. He wanted her safe but he also knew he had to face this challenge alone and he hated to think of that. Tipping his hat to Frank Williams with a cheeky grin and raise of his hand, Adam turned to bound back into the buggy and whipped the horses around, sending the rig rattling back into the main part of town. Evangeline watched him disappear around the bend, her smile slowly fading into a pained look of concern. She entered the house as if in a daze and was met by her father who greeted her with a smothering hug and then concern upon seeing her distress.

"I missed you at supper last night, my dear. Is everything alright?" Frank asked as he guided his daughter to sit beside him on the ornate love-seat in the parlor. He felt her forehead but feeling normal warmth only, he tried to figure out what was wrong. "I saw Adam leaving, I do hope he treated you well. If not, I'll have his head brought on a silver platter!"

"Oh, Poppa, stop it!" Evangeline protested, withdrawing her hands in irritation. "Adam is a perfect, caring gentleman who loves me. You never need to fear when I am with him."

Frank smiled, pleased that his tactic of provocation had been successful. "I know he is. I had my concerns at first but he changed my mind pretty quickly on the trail when you had been kidnapped and we were searching. Now, you will tell me what is wrong and be quick about it."

She smiled at the familiar tactlessness that accompanied her father's discussions many a time. "I am scared...of leaving you...of not being the wife that Adam needs...of marriage in all its aspects. But mostly I'm scared of myself. Of not living up to, well, everything. Ben says that I need not fear in this regard but I'm not so sure. Adam is a man of tender feeling and passion but he has a dark side..." Seeing the look of anger cloud her father's face, she was quick to explain, "No! No, not in a violent way, my word! No, his darkness is one of sadness and loss...of a fear that I can't seem to draw out of him. I try to support him, try to encourage but I don't know if I am making a difference. What should I do, Poppa? I don't know what to do."

Frank's eyebrows furrowed as he pondered her statements then he committed to speaking, "Men aren't like women, Evangeline. Adam needs time and proof that you'll not be leaving him too. Not that you ever would but I just mean, from what Ben had mentioned, that boy and his family has lost more than anyone should in one lifetime. That takes its toll and makes a person doubt any real relationships. I agree with Ben though. Keep at Adam, keep showing how much you care and he will come around to opening up to you. Your mother and I's marriage was open and honest, built on trust. It's a rocky road for young couples just starting out and you and Adam will be no different but I do think that he suits you...although I can never agree that anyone could be completely worthy of your beauty and talent."

"I love you, Poppa...so much...I've missed you so..."

Tears had sprung in Evangeline's eyes at the tender words spoken by her father who had only recently declared his devotion for her. Three years of drinking and bitterness over his wife's death had damaged their once solid relationship but now it appeared that he was back to stay; a loving father with wisdom to provide in her time of need. She flung her arms around his neck and wept for the joy of it. Surprised, Frank first tentatively touched her back before wrapping her tight against his chest and there father and daughter stayed. Two hearts being healed and beginning to find their way.


	14. Chapter 14

The small township of Gold Hill was quiet compared to Virginia City as Adam pulled his team to a stop in front of the Bank of California. A scowl coloring his features, he stepped down and tied the horses to the hitching post. Patting the closest animal's neck, he then walked with deliberation towards the high, vaulted doorway of the building. His hand brushed aside his coat and unconsciously found comfort when his fingers closed around the butt of his gun. The interior seemed normal enough with a couple of customers at the teller windows and cheery conversation being made among the employees present. Removing his hat as he stepped inside, he felt instantly ill at ease despite the ambient atmosphere.

All noise paused briefly as the tall, foreboding rancher was outlined by the morning light and a long shadow fell across the floor. A movement in the corner revealed one of the tellers sneaking to the back of the building which Adam noted with regard. Within seconds, the manager appeared, something of a silly grin coming over his face.

"Mr. Cartwright, always a pleasure. What can I do for you?" William Sharon greeted while holding his hand out.

Adam glanced at the hand and shook it deliberately as he looked back into the man's face. "Good day. I have been thinking of moving my banking needs from the Virginia City Bank to your fine establishment. I would like to discuss the security measures you have in place to protect my investments if I would so choose to trust you."

A man who had not gotten to where he was by being foolish, Sharon was surprised as he observed his peer. Those friendly words were not what he was expecting. The man in front of him seemed a little jumpy and assuredly tense, a skilled hand fidgeting on the fine pistol strapped to his hip, suggesting a more important matter than simple banking. Also, while the mouth was saying one thing, Cartwright's eyes told another story. They casually moved from side to side as he spoke and an urgency could be noted in that slight action. Once again, as in their first meeting, days before, the banker was more than intrigued to learn more about this man calling himself Adam Cartwright, a man that preferred to dress more like a hired killer or a pallbearer than the wealthy land-baron that he actually was. Still, the Ponderosa's business would be a feather in the manager's cap so he decided to play along and see where this mystery led.

"Of course, we can discuss your concerns in my office," Sharon said without a smile and gestured a hand in front of himself to indicate the right direction.

Nodding in agreement, Adam let himself be led to the spacious office. As soon as he entered, his attention was fascinated by the side door that Anderson had come through on the event of the first visit. He fixated on that point of entry, almost hoping that he would be lucky enough to see his quarry come through yet again.

Sharon closed the door, his brows furrowing as he crossed his arms and leaned on the wide desk set under a tall window that opened out onto the busy street. "What is all of this about, Cartwright? You obviously aren't in the mood to talk about banking so let's skip the pretenses. What do you want?"

Adam blew out a breath that he hadn't realized he had been holding. "Where is your assistant?"

"Anderson? I have no idea. He didn't come into work this morning which is rather unlike him. Why?"

"Are you sure that you're not covering for him?"

Sharon bristled, his honor being questioned not being a welcome insult. "Watch yourself. You come off as being something of a bully but I don't back down easily. I'm giving my very valuable time to answer your queries and I don't appreciate being called a liar."

Adam struggled to not show his growing frustration. "Just tell me what you know about your loyal sidekick. It's important. He's suspected of being involved with a local gang that is responsible for attacking my family on a few recent occasions and shooting an unarmed man on a road which just happens to be located on the Ponderosa. I need to find him before he can do anymore damage."

Sharon shook his head in disbelief but he didn't move otherwise, stubbornness clear on his face. "Now you are the one who is telling tales. Silas Anderson couldn't hurt a fly, let alone be involved in something so dastardly. Like I said, I don't know where he is."

"Well do you at least know where he lives?" Adam snapped.

"No, but Mark should. He's one of our tellers and a friend of Anderson's."

"Let's go talk to him then."

Sharon stood abruptly, coming eye to eye with the rancher. "What makes you think that I would ever take orders from y..."

Adam grabbed the lapels of Sharon's expensive suit, bringing him nose to nose with himself. Fire sparked in his eyes, startling the recipient. The next words were cold and dripped with savagery in each syllable. "He...hurt...my...BOY! I'd say that is more than enough reason for you to help me! Will you or not? I can tear Gold Hill apart until I find that cur of a man but it would take too long. I need your information!"

Sharon blinked, a look of amusement passing across his features. "Are you going to release me first?"

Adam instantly dropped his grip but the dangerous glint in his eye never left. Sharon turned his back, pulling his suit to straighten the fabric and rubbing his jaw in thought while pacing the room slowly. Nodding to himself at last, he sat at his desk and felt for a button located under his desk. Soon, a young man came through the door and in a suit that appeared a size too small for his skinny frame.

"The buzzer was triggered in my office, Mr. Sharon. Is there something you need?"

"Yes, go get Mark will you? I have a few questions for him."

"Very good, Sir." The boy glanced suspiciously at Adam before going to do as he was bidden.

Sharon, in the meantime, stood and collected his hat, placing a silver derringer pistol in his waistcoat pocket. He waved his hand in the air to proceed what he said next. "Alright, Mr. Cartwright. I still don't think that my assistant has anything to do with your son's injuries but we'll find out."

Adam's eyebrows raised, confusion clouding the eyes beneath. "We?"

"Of course. Either I come or you get no help from me. Your choice."

Adam leaned on one leg, shifting his hat between his fingers in thought. At length, he placed the black Stetson on his head and held out his hand to Sharon. "Call me Adam."

"William..." the banker smiled, accepting the proffered act of friendship. "I'm looking forward to this little adventure of ours. I confess that the life in an office is not one of diversity but downright boredom most of the time."

Unaffected by the implied humor, Adam felt that he had to set forth his own conditions to feel comfortable in this strange alliance. "Fine. You can tag along but I am not responsible for any harm that may come to you," he warned, his brusque manner beginning to soften.

Sharon snorted in derision as he shrugged. "I didn't ask you for protection, did I? For your information, I can handle myself. I wasn't always behind a desk. I went out to California in my younger years, searching for gold just like everyone else. Had quite a time of it too before I gave up that life."

Adam observed him quietly and shrugged with apparent disinterest although his opinion of his new friend was thickening into amusement rather than distrust. A knock on the door interrupted the amiable silence and "Mark" entered to nervously stand before his employer, fear for his job plain on the poor man's face. Sharon reassured him before requesting the needed location of Anderson's dwelling. The teller visibly relaxed, offering to take the two gentlemen there immediately. By the time those words had left Mark's lips, Adam was halfway out the door, his face set in stone; his legs, longer than most, pistoned forward and his bootheels beat out a firm rhythm on the boardwalk. Sharon followed close behind with his employee, both of them trying to keep up without looking ridiculous. At the boarding house, Adam paused to stare up at the crumbling structure with disdain. It fit perfectly to have such a weasel of a human being living in what looked like a rat-hole. Entering in haste, he took the steps two by two until reaching the landing that led into a narrow hallway, several doors lining each stretch.

"Which door?" he demanded in a whisper while pulling his gun. There was no answer and he glanced back in irritation until a redfaced Mark and a puffing Sharon appeared behind him. The former pointed to the right room and Adam made quick work of kicking the door in, rage fueling the well-placed act of aggression. But when the interior room became visible, he froze in shock, staring at the grisly scene in front of him.

"My God!" Sharon exclaimed, brushing past Adam and kneeling beside the body of his one-time assistant. Mark stood by, slack-jawed and feeling more than a little sick to his stomach. The body was turned over and revealed that the corpse's eyes were still open, the terror on the pudgy face having been branded in the last death throes.

"Well, that settles that..." Adam growled, returning his gun back to his hip with an angry jab. He moved over to the window and looked out, trying to center his thoughts. His anger dissipated as did his hope for justice. If Anderson was dead, who was left to question about the rest of the gang? What could make the connection now? Meeker could have more information to give but Adam had gotten the feeling that the well was dry in that regard. He sighed, pinching his nose and holding that pose as he racked his brain for a solution.

Meanwhile, Sharon glared at Adam's back with disgust. "That's all you got to say? A man is dead! My assistant murdered...and you...you don't care!"

Adam didn't respond to the accusation, instead walking over to the fireplace, its bricks blackened and cold. His hand sought out warmth, finding only a small amount deep in the ashes. "This fire burned out late last night, I'd say. The killing would have had to happen in early evening..." he mused to no one in particular. His eyes traveled the length of the room before returning to the stiff corpse. He looked at Sharon then. "Is there anything of value to us on his person?"

"I'm not searching him. You can do it yourself," Sharon barked, standing up. "Yes, we found him but he can't tell us anything about who hurt your son now and I still don't believe that he was involved. There's no proof."

"I can't let this go and you know it. Why did you come with me anyway if all you are going to do is argue with every single thing I say and interfere with what I need to do?" Adam said matter-of-factly,, the deadpan expression on his face disconcerting the banker who numbly moved out of the way to allow the search. Ignoring the other man, Adam crouched next to Anderson and began rifling through the rumpled suit pockets. A frown pulled at his mouth when at first he found nothing to help but then his fingers closed around what felt like a book of some sort. He withdrew it and discovered that it was a personal journal. Flipping through the handwritten pages and reading bits here and there, a grin soon replaced the scowl.

""You say that there is no proof? Read this..." he said, holding out the journal to be taken.

Sharon snatched the book angrily, unwilling to read what was inside but unable to resist either. He began to flip through the pages and soon a look of dismay gradually colored his countenance. At length, he closed the book and handed it back, a sigh escaping his nose. "How could I have been so blind? He worked for me every day of the week for the last two years! Yet, the accounts of his escapades stretch much further back than that. Murder...thievery...even vivid torture on countless victims. There's between four and six entries per page. He was a monster!"

"But a stupid monster, lucky for us," Adam commented as he turned to the forgotten man still standing by the door. "Mark, could you get Sheriff Coffee? My buckboard is tied up outside the bank if you need transportation to Virginia City."

Mark gulped, coming out of his shocked stupor at last. "I...I have my own horse. I'll be right back."

"No need," Sharon interrupted, "Just get the sheriff and then return to your duties. Thank you for your help."

Without a word, the teller scrambled out the door and a door banged below, indicating his hasty departure. Sharon sighed again and this time he was the one to step to the window, deep in thought. "What now, Cartwright?"

"We wait," came the sullen reply and the speaker took a seat in the chair by the fireplace. Crossing his right leg carefully over his left, he stared into the cold, dead ashes; his face was hard against interruption and the sound of his mind clicking almost but not quite an audible sound. Sharon simply shook his head in bewilderment, resigned to the silence.

I * * * * *I

The ride from the Carson City trail to Virginia City was long and tough. By the time Joe arrived in the latter town, Cochise was lathered and heaving from the grueling trek. Joe's first order of business was to drop the tired horse off at a livery stable to rest and then he asked for a fresh horse before continuing on to the Sheriff's office. As he rode through down main street, his thoughts turned to the wisdom of his plan. For the past day, he had been optimistic but now...he questioned the unease he had felt on the trail. Henderson was acting strange, too strange to be in charge of such a valuable cargo. Suddenly, Joe wanted to kick himself for leaving. Instead, he put his heels to his obedient horse and soon slid to a halt in front of the jail just as Roy exited with half a dozen men in tow.

"Well, howdy, Joe," Roy greeted with a grin as he came down the steps to shake Joe's hand heartily. "What are you doing here? Nothing is wrong, is there?"

"I'm not sure, Roy, but at the moment everything has gone right. Maybe I'm just gettin' jumpy."

Roy frowned and turned to the other men, including Clem Foster. "Mount up, boys, we ride to the Ponderosa shortly. I'll be right back." He took Joe back inside and offered his young friend a drink. The beverage was gladly accepted. "What's going on with you, Joe? Two days ago you were as excited as a puppy with a bone to get that gold shipment on the road and smoke out the ones responsible for attacking your family. Now, you look glum enough to be in mourning. What's changed?"

"I don't know," Joe said. "Henderson liked the idea. He posted the guards and kept to the back trails, even changed course early this morning when I started feeling uneasy."

"Bout what?" Roy asked, wondering where this line of conversation was headed.

Joe shook his head and rose to his feet, his hands coming to his hips and his head tipping back to stare at the ceiling. "Just a feeling, it doesn't make any sense."

"You're right, it doesn't. I've got half a dozen men out there, ready to ride. I can't have your doubts right now. You wanted to help your brother, so do I, but I have my own agenda to get done. You're not alone, son. You don't have to figure this out by yourself."

"I didn't say I had to. But I see your point. From now on, you can take the lead."

"Well, thank ya," Roy said with a wry chuckle, coming around the desk to grip Joe's arm with fatherly pressure. "Now, let's get down to business."

A grin lit Joe's handsome face at last, bringing out the green twinkles in his eyes and making him look his youthful age again. He slapped Roy's shoulder and turned to walk back out the door, bounding down the steps and swinging into his saddle. Roy followed more slowly, his gait firm and seasoned with experience, a testament to the years of service that had been given to protect those he cared about. This latest problem was almost beside the point, just another day at the office that could end in victory or unfortunate death. The weight of that responsibility, of the lives in his hands, felt a little more heavy than usual. He shrugged and gathered his reins. At that instant, a commotion was heard up the street and he raised a hand to halt his men.

A horse came thundering down the street, its panicked rider calling for the sheriff. Roy waved him over and calmed the man down enough to hear what he had to say. Upon hearing of the events in Gold Hill and Adam's request for his presence, the sheriff told Clem to take the posse on to the Ponderosa while he took Joe. The deputy agreed and rode out of town with his men while the other two men galloped in the opposite direction. The game was afoot.


	15. Chapter 15

The winds of time...the savagery of that blast...what changes it brings in men...Abel thought, gulping as he stared into the bedroom mirror. Shaky hands came up to brush lightly over his white sideburns, across the wrinkles creasing his face, around the tired eyes and finally, the fingers tracked through the full, white beard. So many years had passed, so much danger had been conquered but he was still terrified to have this coming discussion with his family. How does one even begin to convey the stark truth...that he was running out of time? That his doctor in Boston had given him months to live? The acceptance in his grandson's face the night before had strengthened his resolve and still...this was going to be so hard. He thought of backing out but the disappointment that would be in Adam's voice was more than the old sea captain would be able to bear and he knew it. The disclosure would not happen for awhile at any rate and only when the right moment came. He only wondered if that perfect time would ever happen in the end.

Shaking his head in frustration, he growled at the old man staring back at him in the glass. Straightening his jacket, he struggled to his feet, grabbed for his cane and limped out of the bedroom door. Working his way to the right, deeper down the hallway, he came to Adam's door. There was no answer to his soft knock and he hesitated before turning the knob.

""Adam? Son, are you in here?" he whispered into the darkened room.

Instead of the anticipated man, Jody lay sleeping in the bed. A breath caught in the sea captain's chest as he shuffled quietly to the side of the bed, careful not to disturb. He couldn't help but smile at the similarities to another dark-haired boy in the photos that Ben had sent those nearly twenty years ago. A bandage on the side of Jody's head was noticed and he frowned deeply, wondering what had happened.

""Grandfather? What are you doing in here?" Katherine whispered at his side, her hands coming up to lightly grip his arm.

"He's so perfect...sleeping there. Just a wee thing, isn't he?"

Katherine looked with surprise at her grandfather and then she regarded the little boy. Her eyes widened somewhat. She hadn't even noticed the child over the past day, never having been around children for most of her life. Even if only for a moment, she recognized the beginning of a useful young life; the endless possibilities and the opportunities that would be afforded him by being connected to Adam Cartwright. The very thing she wanted most in the world. Her words had an edge of bitterness when she did speak. "Yes, I suppose he is something special."

The mild venom going unnoticed, Abel sighed, reaching an arm around his granddaughter's shoulders and guiding her towards the door. One last time, he looked back and on a whim returned to the bed to straighten the bedcovers. He joined Katherine outside and closed the door gingerly. Turning to her, a smile played about his mouth. "I do believe we missed breakfast hours ago. Are you hungry? Perhaps we can cajole that strange Chinaman to make us something."

"No...thank you but I'll be fine," Katherine said, unimpressed by the tenderness just shown to the boy and she felt rather jealous, although she would never confess to that.

"Well, I'm not hungry either so we'll just forget about the whole thing. Katherine, my dear...Would you join me for a walk in the gardens? It is such a beautiful day out."

"Of...of course," she replied, surprised at the invitation and she wondered why. After all, she had always been treated more than kindly...she wondered at the tension she had always felt. She was confused...even more troubled in her spirit than she had in the past days, since leaving Boston. Looking into her grandfather's kind face, she searched for a reason why she hadn't seen all that Abel Stoddard had done for her. Adam's words flashed through her mind... _We all have pasts, Katherine, and none of us are exempt from their consequences...but it still doesn't change the fact that you grew up in his household with his wisdom and his kindness to guide you. He loves you, I know he does but he's getting older and older. He'll need your strength and courage that I know you possess. You just need to stop holding yourself back!_

She glanced at the man at her side and she couldn't help a smile. _Adam was right...as he always is. Grandfather isn't the only one who is wise..._ Thinking of Adam and his deep, rich voice as he had talked made a weakness go straight to Katherine's knees as she assisted Abel down the steps. The kiss the night before flashed through her mind and each second was recounted, as fresh as when it happened. The softness of his skin, the one gentle breath that she had stolen from his lungs and the strangled moan that had vibrated against her mouth...she remembered each element in full detail. But...then the horror on his face when they had parted came to mind and she winced, but only for a second. Thinking back to the words of challenge she had spoken afterwards, she had no idea where that had come from but she had felt such power...and loved it. She had wanted to control him, to have him for herself...and she still did. Oh, she wanted him so bad it was as a knife, driving into her heart and twisting into the wound until she felt ready to explode from the pain of it. But...her dream seemed selfish and unpractical, so hard to attain. She would have to do some more thinking before making her next move. The problem of Evangeline Williams would have to be dealt with. With envy, Katherine had watched the gentle touches and caresses bestowed upon her love as Adam had sat on the floor by that woman. A hate that had begun to fester ignited into a small flame.

"My dear, are you alright?"

Katherine roused as they reached the bottom of the stairs and walked towards the door. She smiled in a strange and distant way, her cheeks dimpling. "I'm fine, Grandfather...just fine."

Together, they exited the house and strolled into the yard. Ben was just coming out of the barn with three saddled horses in tow. He grinned, raising a hand in greeting as he ambled over, the horses nickering between each other as he pulled them to a stop. "Nice morning, isn't it, Abel? Adam has already left to take Evangeline back to town and then he had to take care of some business. He told me to tell you to take it easy."

Abel laughed, feeling a little bit of his stress start melting away. "He's a bossy son of a gun. Reminds me of a first officer I had once upon a time. What do you think, Ben?"

Ben threw his head back with a laugh in return. "Ah, those days...so long ago, I forget most of the time. If it wasn't for your ornery hide showing up at my ranch, I may have actually forgotten all together."

"That you might of," Abel commented with a grin lighting his weathered face, "Where are you headed? Looks like quite the operation around here this day."

Ben fought the frown that surfaced as he scanned the yard. Ponderosa hands seemed as thick as trees as they crossed paths with one another, each having a mission and each having a decisive spring in their steps. He chuckled again, hoping that it didn't sound forced. "Just doing cattle checks, perhaps some thinning of the herds to separate any sickly animals. Fall will be here before we know it and it always pays to keep the steers healthy for the coming cold."

"Very good, very good. Carry on, young man," Abel grinned with a wink and salute, "My granddaughter and I are going for a walk so we won't be in your hair."

"Fine, fine. But don't go too far. I'll be honest. There has been trouble lately and a threat is upon us that the boys and I are attempting to figure out. In the meantime, we all need not be fearful of our own shadows but still, caution is always a good idea in situations like this."

"Trouble, you say? It doesn't have anything to do with my grandson's limp or the bandages on that wee lad sleeping upstairs, does it?"

Ben at first looked surprised then reluctant. "Yes, I'm afraid so. Both, in fact. Your observation skills are something else I had almost forgotten."

Abel chuckled grimly while Katherine stepped forward one step, worry plain on her face. "What happened to Adam, Mr. Cartwright? What's wrong with him?"

Ben bit his lip, trying to put together the right response. Looking into the girl's fearful face, he decided to take a chance and tell the truth to them both. "He has back issues that started about a year ago. He took a fall that...that paralyzed his legs for a few weeks. Thank God, he regained full mobility but his back has never been the same since. The other day, he was confronted by a gunman whom he subdued but in the process, strained his back again. The only thing to indicate what happened is the limp that goes away with enough time."

Katherine was silent, digesting the information while Abel took on a scowl, taking a step forward himself to poke Ben in the chest.. "Why wasn't I notified of this? How could something that dark happen to my boy and you not tell me!"

"Now, Abel..."

"Don't you dare, 'Now, Abel', me! Besides Katherine, he is the only family I have! My heir of what little I can give upon my death and the only one who can continue the Stoddard name and bloodline! Blast it, Ben! What were you thinking!"

Ben was silent, knowing that Abel had a point and he felt a tad guilty. He noticed Katherine was keeping her eyes averted, seemingly unwilling to get caught up in the spirited discussion. Sighing, Ben rubbed the back of his neck as he stared at the ground. "You're right...you're right, I should have told you in one of my letters but, to tell you the truth, it was a difficult time. And very hard on Adam. I didn't want to deal with it anymore. By the time the news would have reached you, he was back on his feet and doing better. I know that you are concerned for him but he is a grown man and I have to say that he had every chance to tell you himself in his own letters. But, between the two of us, we decided that to worry you unduly was unnecessary..."

Abel growled under his breath and turned away, taking Katherine by the arm. Ben watched regretfully as they disappeared behind the house in the direction of the garden. Turning on his heel, he called two of his most trusted hands over.

"Meede, Laramie, come over here."

The two men ran up obediently, willing to do any task given them by their boss. Ben continued, "I have a special task for you. Keep a sharp eye out for my father-in-law and the girl. They have gone for a walk in the garden at present. Keep a watch on them from the trees in the back but don't let them know you're there. And when they return to the house, stay in the house. I'll have more men posted around the perimeter. Hop Sing and Jody are in there too and will require just as much protection if not more so stay alert. If any harm comes to any of them while I'm away, it will be your jobs. Am I clear?"

"Yes, Boss, more than clear," the one called Meede answered, "We'll keep all four o' them safe and sound."

Ben gave a tight nod and stared off into the distance, a silent dismissal of the two men who promptly mounted up on their horses and rode out back of the house to set up a watch in the stand of trees only a short distance from the homestead. Ben watched them go with anxiety evident in his face but he soon masked it in favor of mobilizing his fighting force. Tack was checked, horses groomed, saddlebags filled with bullets and supplies, saddles thrown across the sturdy animals' backs, the cinches tightened and each saddle was then warmed by an occupant. When Ben was satisfied that he hadn't missed a preparation, he mounted up on Buck and gathered his reins. Pausing for a fraction of a breath, he glanced into the face of each man present and felt more assured upon seeing the loyalty and urgency there. Hoss' serious face appeared to the right, looking just as intense as the others and strengthening Ben's heart. Moving Buck to the front of the group, Ben addressed his men, informing them of the day's objective and to order them to be on guard at all times. The surrounding land was to be combed and any oddities were to be reported and investigated forthwith.

Hoss listened to his pa's deep voice and he couldn't help the tug at the side of his mouth. He felt a calm come over him that hadn't been there before, ever since the conversation with Adam in the bathhouse. He shifted in his saddle, uncomfortable all at once. He watched the men disperse in front of him, a few going in every conceivable direction, it would seem.

His pa came up alongside and studied his boy, sensing that there was dark thoughts stirring behind the gentle blue eyes. "Is there something troubling you, Son? You seem preoccupied, if you don't mind my saying so," Ben said gently, laying a hand on the muscular arm.

Picking up his reins to flick the leather against his thigh, Hoss sighed, a grunt of a sound that spoke of his inability to formulate his conflicted emotions. "Pa...I had to hurt my brother with my words earlier when we were in the bathhouse but I felt I had no choice...and it still feels like I took a bullet to the heart...I know Adam loves his books and his words but there are times, like now...when I dang near hate 'em! I...hate...them!" The last phrase hoarsely whispered with a chilling vengeance.

"Hoss, I...don't understand. What did you say?"

"The truth."

"Which is?"

The younger man grimaced, shifting in his saddle. "I simply felt that he hasn't been treating Meeker right. The man is Jody's uncle after all."

Ben's jaw twitched, a similar thought of Meeker being Jody's relative having entered his mind in the past but then passing through without dwelling. He decided to play it cool and not let on his own suspicions. "His...uncle? How do you know that?"

"Not sure how it started but there was a sure family resemblance when the men brought him into the room. I ain't seem him since but that face stuck in my mind and when I saw Jody the next time...it struck me. Adam only confirmed the connection...even though he didn't realize he was doing it this morning."

"I wonder why he didn't tell me...I guess he hasn't had much chance, what with his dark moods of late. Evangeline is the only thing that seems to give him comfort...well, and Jody. I used to be able to get through to him...to have him open his thoughts more to me but ever since the desert, he...well, he has been increasingly cold, almost as if he was shutting down or giving up or something. That girl, I'm convinced, was sent by heaven. The other day, I saw them together and he was laughing. Not one of his sarcastic chuckles but a real laugh. Heck, even his eyes were full of it. In three years, it has been few and far between for me to see that joy in him.

"I know..." Hoss sighed, silent while both men thought of the two weeks that had changed their entire family and the hurt that one cruel man had caused. "But what do we do about George Meeker? I don't want him to take an interest in the boy anymore than the next fella but we can't keep him prisoner because of that."

"You're forgetting one thing. Until this trouble blows over, he is the key to unlocking it and he is under suspicion himself until his word is proven true. I was informed of Adam's conversation with him earlier and your brother is right to keep him confined, at least for now. Don't worry. Adam may have the biggest stake in this latest drama but this is still my house and my land. I'm not as oblivious as my sons think about what goes on around here."

Hoss' face broke with a grin, his eyes changing from smoky gray to bright, cerulean blue. A sight that made the father's heart skip a beat as he glimpsed Inger in the compassionate depths. Then, as if as one mind, both men got down to business, putting their heels to their horses and beginning their own search along the road directly behind the barn. In companionable silence, they worked together and soon found tracks leading from the woods. Dismounting, with eyes riveted to the ground, they followed the large imprints until the trail ended by a series of loose boards in the side of the barn. The evidence indicated that Jody's assailant must have entered, did the dirty work and then had snuck back out without detection. Clumsy bootprints mangled the mud in each direction. Satisfied with his perusal, Hoss stood, leaning an arm against the barnside and watching his silent father continue to scratch around in the grassy dirt.

Deep in thought, Ben pushed himself upright. Scanning the horizon, he grimaced. "At least one mystery has been solved but the men responsible are still on the prowl. Always one step behind..."

Hoss pushed himself away from the building and placed a hand on Ben's shoulder. "But we're that much closer, Pa. The stench of those skunks will lead us right to them. We'll get 'em."

As if on cue, a commotion ignited in the yard, causing father and son to glance at each other in concern before taking off at a run with the horses being pulled along behind, the animals none too happy at the force being used. A group of searchers came into view from around the corral and appeared to be carrying a sizable burden between them although the actual cause was obscured. Bill Laramie was the first one to disengage from the others and step forward to answer the bosses' questions.

"Meede and I found something I think you two will want to take a look at. We went out to the stand of trees in back and this is what we found..."

Intrigued, Ben and Hoss pushed through and were more than surprised to see the bodies of two large men being tossed on the ground.

"Mmm...what do we have here..." Hoss mused to himself as he crouched down to inspect the wounds, his face scrunching up in concentration. Skilled fingers and talented eyes quickly told him all he needed to know about the manner of death. "Just one clean stab to each fella's heart. No other bruising or scratches, far as I make out. Only Indians typically kill like that but we haven't had any Injun trouble lately. "

Ben frowned down at the gruesome sight and an item that Adam had mentioned came to mind. "These men must have been the two henchmen working for Anderson...but who would want them dead! None of this makes any sense..."

The thunder of hoofbeats and the clinking of multiple metal bits heralded the arrival of an approaching number of horsemen. Not knowing if help was coming or an organized attack, the men present were immediately tense and Ben motioned for them to disappear back into the trees while he and Hoss chose to stand alone, rifles in hand, waiting as a human wall in front of the symbol of all they held dear. They waited and the sound drew near until the riders burst into view, a dust cloud shielding them from the waiting gunbarrels in the trees. The particles swirled with maddening lethargy until Ben could at last make out the face of the leader.

"Clem! It's Clem, men, stand down!" he commanded as he walked forward to reach up and shake the deputy's hand. "I see the posse finally made it out our way. Where's Roy?"

Clem shrugged, leaning forward with both hands on his saddle. "He WAS with us but Joe came into town at the last minute, mighty concerned about the state of things on the decoy caravan."

"Decoy caravan?" Ben asked incredulously while looking at an equally bewildered Hoss. "What the heck are you going on about, Clem?"

"You mean, you don't know?" Clem sat back with a tiny grin lifting the corners of his mouth. It tickled him to no end that he had information on one of the Cartwright boys that Ben Cartwright wasn't privy to."Alright then. I don't know what you've been told but Joe has been working with Sheriff John Henderson over in Carson City for the past couple of days."

"And what has he been doing? He told me that he was interested in buying a couple of horses from a trustworthy buyer to give to Adam."

Clem chuckled, a laugh that made the hairs on Ben's neck stand up from the impatience building in his chest. "Well, he's not been doin' that, I can say that. He came to Roy day before last, all excited about an idea he had. They've set up a wagon, carrying the gold found under Matt Grant's house after it was burned to the ground, you know...after the influenza that killed him and his missus. The coins were to be guarded by six men in all, that includes your son."

Ben shook his head in disbelief, holding up a hand to halt anymore explanations that only served to give him a splitting headache. "All of that aside...where is that lying young varmint of mine now!"

Hoss winced at the increasingly high tone of each word. "Pa, take it easy. If Joe lied about his whereabouts, I'm convinced that he had a darn good reason. Give him a chance."

Seeing the wisdom, Ben reminded himself that his sons were now men, after all, and not necessarily bound to his every whim. He nodded to no one in particular, simply an action that acknowledged his lack of control over his youngest son. "I'll only ask once more, Clem. _Where...is...Joe_?"

Warned off of his playful evasion, the deputy finished explaining. "A messenger came in on a huff from Gold Hill just as we were gonna leave to come here. Adam has found Anderson and wanted Roy to come as soon as possible. Anderson is dead."

"What?"

"Yep, deader than a door nail, from what the messenger said."

Ben's face transformed from restraint to one of pure worry. His dark brown gaze darted from Hoss to Clem and then turned back at the house. In the blink of an eye, his mind wound down into a twilight zone where only fact remained. Before Adam had left, he had recounted most of the conversation with George Meeker to his father and Ben remembered the key details that his son had related.

 _Adam came out of the guest room, his brow creased as he closed the door. Ben exited his office and ambled over to silently watch his eldest preparing to depart._

" _What's the word, Son?" Ben asked, watching as Adam buckled on his gunbelt slowly._

" _I have a lead at last. You remember my trip to William Sharon, don't you?"_

" _Sure, sure," Ben replied, putting one hand in his pant pocket and leaning on the credenza with his other. "What of it?"_

" _Well, I met his assistant on a couple of separate occasions. At first glance, he's a small, obscure man but, according to Meeker, has a much different private life. He, along with his partner, are the masterminds. They head a gang of thieves whose activities have been kept quiet up to now. I'm going to Gold Hill first and then Carson City. Greed has been the deciding factor and its cause can be found in Sheriff Henderson's custody. I can feel it in my bones. Jody will never be free from threat until his father's gold has been secured in a safe place, where it can be forgotten until such a time that he'll inherit it."_

" _I agree. And I'll take care of mobilizing our men to protect the ranch. Roy will be out soon with a posse and he can advise us on the next step. Speaking of which, are you sure you should be going alone? I would feel better if you would take Hoss with you."_

 _Adam smiled, his left dimple appearing briefly. "Thanks, Pa, for your concern but I'll be fine. Besides, I'm not going that far and I'll send word if I need your help. Look after Grandfather, Katherine and Jody for me."_

 _Ben blew a breath out, then reached out to grasp his son's arm before Adam was able to shrug into his black coat. "I'll make sure they are taken care of, don't you worry. I have a question though."_

" _What might that be?" Adam's hazel eyes were full of twinkles._

 _Ben smiled, taking the black Stetson off the hat rack and handing it over while his face grew melancholy. "When did you boys stop needing me?"_

 _Adam didn't reply at first. He placed the hat upon his head before walking over to retrieve his favorite rifle from the rack by the stairs. Walking back to the door once more, he paused and turned to place his right hand on his father's shoulder. A soft smile touched his lips as he said only a few words._

" _Never. There will never be a time that we don't need you in some way."_

" _Thank you for that, Son," Ben replied gently, one more quick thought running through his head. "But I am left with something that you didn't tell me. Who is Anderson's partner?"_

" _A half-Indian by the name of Lem Dudley. Meeker seemed to think that he is the one to beat. Wish me luck," Adam winked as he swept out the door to meet Evangeline waiting by the buckboard._

 _Ben was left alone at the closed door, listening to the retreating jangle of harness and a puzzled look on his face. He had heard that name before but just couldn't place it. Oh, well, perhaps he would sometime during the coming hours._

"Lem Dudley...Lem Dudley..." Ben repeated softly to himself while Hoss looked on, becoming impatient himself with his father's constant lapses in concentration.

"Pa? The deputy just asked a question. What are you goin' on about? Who's Lem Dudley?"

Clem frowned and he stared at his friend with concern. "Ben, are you alright?"

Glancing into Clem Foster's worried features, the truth hit Ben square in the gut. He remembered where he had seen Lem Dudley. Spinning around, he mounted up on Buck in one motion. "We have to get to Adam and Joe with all the manpower we can muster," he said in a deadly tone.

Clem shot up a hand to halt the panicked man. "But wait! Why? What's going on, Ben? I can't help until you tell me what's on your mind."

"My sons are heading into a trap." Ben had no more to say as he ordered his men to mount, leaving behind ten of them to guard the house and then dust was kicked up as the combined posse galloped down the road. As he whipped his horse into a faster pace, Ben only hoped that they wouldn't be too late.


	16. Chapter 16

Joe's heart was pounding with adrenaline as he and Roy galloped into Gold Hill and slid to a halt in front of the boarding house. Jumping off his horse and tossing a rein over the hitching post, Joe glanced around quickly. Sport was nowhere to be seen and that caused him some worry. What if Adam had gone on without him? Pulling his gun, he left Roy behind and ran up to the boarding house door, pounding with a clenched fist until it was opened by a young woman, dressed anything but conservatively.

"Why, hello, handsome," she purred, leaning on the doorframe and smiling with more than a little innuendo.

Joe scowled and moved to brush past her but she slammed a hand up across the door, creating a barrier. He took a deep breath, never liking it when such a "lady" forced herself upon him. Taking her wrist in his hand firmly, he lowered her arm back to her side, his fingers maintaining their grip but still being gentle."Is my brother here? He's a tall chap, wears black, usually serious."

Tossing her head back, the girl laughed, a shrill cackle that hurt Joe's ears. "If you mean what looks like a killer sitting up there all broody like with Silas' body not more than four feet away then...yes, your brother is upstairs, second door on the right," she sneered.

Roy came up in time to hear the last part and he was quick to push the incensed young man through the door while tipping his hat, a courtesy that was most undeserved. Joe quelled the anger felt over the familiar insults that he had heard over and over again. _His brother, the Killer. His brother, the Heartless and Cruel._ Joe was sick of hearing it and all because his brother wore black and was more reserved than most. But he told himself not to dwell on things beyond his control and as he ran up the stairs, he forced a switch in his focus so that by the time Adam saw him, he was all business and ready for action. He even had a smart remark ready on his tongue.

"Well, brother, I see ya got yourself in another fine mess that I have to bail you out of," Joe grinned, sticking his hand out to Adam who rose from the chair.

"Good to have you here, Joe. Hi, Roy, thanks for coming," Adam said, his face stoic although a smile played about his lips as he shook both men's hands. He then gestured to Sharon standing close by with a look of bemusement. "This is William Sharon, he's the bank manager over at the bank down the street."

"I know him. Surprised to see you here, Mr. Sharon," Roy commented without much interest as he knelt down to take the blanket away from the body, revealing the tasteless sight.

"What can I say? Your friend here gets into some intriguing situations and I happened to be bored today," Sharon replied sarcastically, returning his gaze to the outside world in case of any unwelcome guests would arrive he could be the first to sound the alarm.

Roy made quick work of looking over the body while Adam filled him in on what had happened and what Meeker had said which took quite a bit of time to explain. By the time the sheriff was caught up, Joe was itching to leave the confining room. He asked to see Adam outside and left. Noticing that his brother appeared to be anxious about something, Adam wrapped up the discussion as fast as he could so as to join Joe out in the hallway.

"Joe? What's up?"

Joe bit his lip and rubbed his neck as he turned his back. "I need to leave."

His brother seemed so guilty that Adam arched an eyebrow, a smile quirking the side of his mouth. "And why is that? Where are you going? Come on, little brother, I'm getting sick of asking stupid questions."

Joe sniffed with a chuckle and took a deep breath to do some explaining of his own. "I lied to Pa and Hoss and to you the other day. I wasn't going to Carson City on business...I mean, I was but not the kind you all thought. I have teamed up with Sheriff Henderson over in Carson City and we have been transporting the Grant gold to Virginia City. He sent me ahead to let Roy know that the wagon and outriders would be arriving this evening. They are moving slowly so as to keep their cover."

Adam had tensed as Joe spoke and he didn't look happy. "I don't like you doing that without my knowledge, Joe. Not one bit."

Joe nodded passively. "I knew you wouldn't so I just didn't tell you but now I need your advice. I tried talking to Roy but I don't think he took me seriously."

"When has that been new?" Adam responded, crossing his arms over his chest in preparation for the coming dilemma.

"Very funny. Anyway, everything was going well up until this morning. Henderson acted strange and I don't like it. I've had a weird feeling all day that we aren't being as smart as I originally thought."

"Why did you leave then if you thought there was something wrong? That doesn't sound like you."

"That's just the thing," Joe said, his voice lowering. "Henderson practically threatened me so I would ride ahead. I didn't feel I had much choice. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure he is to be trusted either."

Adam shook his head, his shoulders lifting in a shrug. "I've only been in contact with him briefly but he seemed cooperative enough. At any rate, both of us shall get down to the bottom of this together. You're not going without me, little brother. Two Cartwrights are better than one any day."

Joe rolled his eyes, mocking his brother's optimism. "Oh, really? Even when one of them can't walk without a limp, not to mention the fact that Pa probably had you bring the buckboard, am I right? If so, what use will you be on the trail with a noisy team and your back about to give out at any second."

Then it was Adam's turn to roll his eyes. "You're exaggerating and I'll have no problem on a horse. Hoss was actually the one who insisted on the team but in part because I brought Angie back home first before coming here. So spare me the lecture. I'm coming and I won't hear any argument."

Throwing his hands up in the air, Joe shrugged and gave up, knowing that this argument wasn't going anywhere. "I don't care if ya want to kill yourself. And I'm not the one to cart your carcass back to the Ponderosa if anything happens."

"Fair enough," Adam agreed with a grin, "Shut up now and go rent a mount for me. I'll finish up here and meet you out front in fifteen minutes. Savvy?"

"Sure, bossy. Hurry up about it," Joe threw back over his shoulder as he turned to go, slapping his hat on his thick mop of hair.

"Joe?"

Joe turned back at the gentle entreaty, his head tilting with an inquisitive air. Adam lost his train of thought as he stepped forward to grasp his brother's shoulders and met the hazel-green gaze. "I guess I just wanted to say thank you for trying to have my back. I appreciate it."

Surprise drifted over Joe's features as Adam's grip fell away. The younger man didn't quite know what to say in return but he was touched by the simple words. "You've watched my back enough times and saved my life on enough occasions that I...well, I just thought it was my turn. Too bad I couldn't finish the job without hiccups."

"No need. I've always known you didn't really dislike me as much as you pretend," Adam joked but in his eyes was a thirst to hear an argument to the contrary.

But Joe didn't laugh or even smile. "You're my brother, Adam. I care just as much for your safety as Hoss'. I might not be as good with fancy words as you but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I care about what happens to you and always will, even when we come to blows. Never forget that or think different, Yankee."

Adam chuckled as Joe disappeared down the stairs at the end of the hall. He walked to a window facing the street and watched the youngest Cartwright bound across the street, entering a livery stable across the way. He smiled fondly, thinking back on the days of old and was totally unaware that Roy was observing him from the doorway.

The old sheriff frowned, always having felt a particular responsibility to look after Ben Cartwright's eldest ever since he had met a young father and the two tiny sons, alone in the world except for a tiny cabin and a boatload of dreams. Ben had been overwhelmed with grief and the burden of two children when Roy had seen him for the first time. Only being an obscure deputy with no authority except to follow his own kind heart, Roy had taken it upon himself to welcome the newcomers. He remembered that though the shack was tiny, the grounds overrun by weeds that the owner hadn't had time to remove yet, the two boys standing behind their father were freshly-washed and their clothes clean. His eyes crinkling, Roy remembered the warm hospitality offered by Ben and the simple dinner prepared for him. Afterward, the dark-haired boy had sat at the deputy's feet, enraptured by the tales of this new land as the two adults had talked. His eyes big with wonder, his arm enfolding the little toddler cuddled up to his side and sound asleep, Adam Cartwright had captured the young lawman's heart. From then on, Roy Coffee had made a point of looking out for the lad and watched from a distance as that gangly youth had grown into a powerful, kind and upstanding man who never shirked from doing the right thing, even when it might cause him pain.

Those were the thoughts that came to the sheriff's mind as he noticed Adam slumping against the window sill and concern compelled Roy to step forward. But when Adam saw him coming, he straightened to his full height, masking the discomfort that was stabbing into his body. His friend wasn't so easily fooled.

"Adam, you don't look so good. Sorta pale-like and you're sweatin'. Now, I'm no doctor but I'd say you need to go see one. Let me take you, please."

Adam shook his head stubbornly, schooling his expressions to be neutral as he stepped away from the comforting hand on his arm. "I won't let him go alone and without me. I won't have him putting himself in danger on my account. I feel fine, truly, just a few twinges now and then but I'll be good. I promise to take it easy."

"Take it easy?" Roy pursued in protest but Adam shut him down.

"Roy, I need to do this! I know you mean well but...let me do this thing. You can come if you want, the more the merrier."

"I better stay and get this mess cleaned up back in the room. Then I'll ride back and join your pa at the Ponderosa. I already sent Clem with half a dozen men out there."

"Thanks. Do you have everything under control here? I better get goin'."

"Sure, sure, Son. But take care of yourself, will ya? Ya got that purty gal to answer to, after all, even if you don't listen to me or your family."

Adam chuckled as he walked outside of the boarding house. Roy said his goodbyes and turned to go back inside while Joe walked up with the rented horse to give his older brother. "You ready, old man? I got your mount and I got your rifle from the buckboard."

"Thanks, Joe," Adam said as he gathered the reins handed him and swung up, trying to ignore the burning sensation that resulted. Evangeline was going to kill him if she ever found out he was on a horse so soon after his spell. He knew that, one way or another, he was going to pay for for this trip but he simply could not let Joe go on his own. He grinned over at the younger man as they moved out of Gold Hill. "Take the lead and I'll follow...For once, I have no idea where I'm going."

"Try to keep up," Joe chortled as both brothers kicked their horses into a fast canter, their bodies moving in unison with their horses and with each other.

I* * * * *I

To a casual observer, the north trail to Virginia City might have looked safe, a cool breeze rustling the tree branches and a few wildflowers peppering the wayside. But, upon closer inspection, danger lurked near. Rifles could be seen protruding from behind rocks, bushes and any other hiding spot, the riflemen lying in wait for their prey. A bird singing in a tree, a rustle of greenery by a lone rabbit or a nut dropping from a pine tree; each of the sounds caused the tension to rise until even the least movement had them jumpy and becoming irritable. Their leader growled from his horse as he trotted his horse along behind the line, checking in with each man and only hearing complaints. Halfway into the morning, he had enough of the waiting. He found his right hand, Shane Menson and the two formulated a new angle.

"Boss, I don't think they're comin' this way," Menson said, squinting up at the young sun, "They should be here 'bout an hour if they left at dawn."

Lem Dudley's scowl deepened and he nodded, his hands coming to his hips. "Gather the men. It's time to end this, once and for all. I'd bet my life that Henderson got spooked and took the west trail. We'll set up just off the creek."

Menson agreed and within seconds, he had the gang assembled, all twenty of the gruff and hardened souls. A horse was brought for Dudley and he mounted. A grin coming to his dark features, he threw an arm forward to silently signal the direction before heading out in front, the other riders falling in line. No time at all was taken to make a dry camp in the new area and their patience soon paid off. The noise of traveling wheels came up the path with an hour. Dudley held his eager men back until he could be sure of the identity of the lead rider and when he had made that correct calculation, he raised an arm and dropped it dramatically.

"Fire!"


	17. Chapter 17

The ride for the Cartwrights took a bit longer to reach the turn-off than before but Joe didn't mind. Ever mindful of his duty, he was trying to take it slow so as not to push his brother too far past his limits. Often, he would glance to his side and still see Adam riding strong in the saddle. Doing that one more time, Joe smiled, opening his mouth to speak when shots echoed from up the way. Alarmed, both men halted, pulling their rifles before pushing the horses into a fast gallop until the shots were too close for comfort. Once they came to the bend in the road directly before the scene, the horses were left behind in favor of creeping up on foot. Shouts and the increasing gunfire continued while Adam and Joe came to the huge boulder blocking a good vantage point. Adam crept to the side while Joe climbed up to peer over the rock to see what was happening below. When he jumped back down, the younger man looked grim as the shots continued.

"The wagon has been overturned in the ditch. Henderson and his men are trapped behind it."

"How far is it?"

Joe looked worried. "About twenty yards but we will have to be quick. Sure you're up for this?"

Adam's only response was a smirk as he darted around the boulder, raising his rifle and firing at any possible moving target. Bullets, seeming as thick as bees hissed past, a few hitting the ground around his feet but still he ran. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Joe coming up alongside. In the space of a heartbeat, his mind having drifted for only a literal second, Adam felt his boot catch on a jagged outcropping and then he was falling; time dissolved into images as his life, from boyhood to adulthood, flashed before his eyes. _Too short...life is too short..._ He hit the ground hard but kept moving, scrambling on hands and knees, adrenaline screaming with the roar of his heart in his ears. The world slowed, he heard Joe cry his name above the mayhem and then he felt Joe's strong arms pulling him to his feet and propelling his body forward. Together and back in control, the two men resumed firing until the wagon was nigh and they dove for cover, landing in a heap of nervous chuckles, chips of wood splintering into the empty space that their heads had just occupied.

"Are you alright!" Joe yelled, turning to fire off a shot and ducking down again.

"Yeah! You?" Adam replied, mirroring the action, his quick eyes finding a grizzled face behind a tree. Taking aim and firmly squeezing the trigger, he heard the satisfying yet nauseating sound of the man's scream of pain and then he fell where he stood. Adam took a box of bullets out of his coat pocket and loaded the rifle again before handing the rest of them to Joe.

Across the bodies of his men, Sheriff Henderson worked his way until he was close enough to the Cartwright brothers to be heard. "Ya took long enough getting' back, Cartwright! We've been pinned for the last half hour. Who's this?"

The question was directed at the man-in-black to which Adam stuck out a quick hand to be shaken. "I'm his brother. Name's Adam Cartwright. You wrote me recently about the Grants?"

"Yeah, yeah, I remember. Sorry I couldn't be more help with the boy," Henderson smiled in a friendly way that left Adam wondering what he was really thinking. The sheriff continued speaking as he loaded his own gun. "Lucky this dang wagon tipped over towards the road when the team spooked. All of our ammunition is within easy reach at least."

That comment sent a light wave of chuckles coursing through the men but that levity was soon forgotten. The barrage continued on both sides then all fell silent, deathly silent. Not a man dared to breath as they waited to see what their attackers would do next. They could hear heavy footsteps running to and fro in the bushes as the gang presumably took up new positions but no shots were fired to reignite the fray. Adam and the sheriff quickly grew antsy and had a private party, talking between themselves in hushed tones. Joe became irritated at being excluded and scooted closer to participate.

"What are you two galoots discussing over here anyways? It's really not a good time for chatter, if you hadn't noticed already."

"Would you pipe down? We've got a plan and we need your help," Adam retorted, rising up on his haunches to peer over the wagon. A shot instantly split the air and a bullet crashed into the wood, narrowly missing Adam's cheek although a large splinter still drew blood. He ducked and ran his hand along the cut, a breath hissing through his teeth but the bleeding was minimal.

Joe was ready with another earful. "What the heck are you doing! Trying to get yourself killed!"

Adam waved off the scolding and turned his attention to more important matters. "Joe, listen...you and I are going to work our way up and around. There is plenty of cover and it shouldn't be problem. If we are quiet enough, maybe we can pick out which man is the leader and take him down. But get this through your head, no shooting until we find him. Silence is paramount. Henderson has agreed that he and his men will cover us so we can make a break for it. Are you in?"

Joe thought hard, his mind drifting until Adam shook his arm to wake him up out of his daydreaming. Looking into his brother's stern face, Joe felt himself go stubborn too. "Only if I go," he said, "Please. I can't have you hurt or killed. I didn't even want you to come but you insisted. Don't make me regret my decision."

"What is it with you today! I'm the older brother here and I say that you are coming with ME, not you dictating whether or not I can come. I'm leaving in precisely five seconds, with or without you."

Joe bit his lip, then he shook his head. "No. You're not. Let's try this a different way. If you don't stay, I'll handcuff you to this wagon myself. Stop being a bully and let me do this!"

Adam raised his eyebrows and leaned back against the log, his hand unconsciously rubbing the wound on his face. He glanced at the blood that came away on his thumb and then he stared hard at Joe, his eyes boring into his brother's. "Alright. But you better come back in one piece or so help me, I'll tan you within an inch of your life. Now, load your gun and quit being smart before I change my mind."

Joe couldn't help grinning as he did what he was told then Henderson leaned over impatiently. "You boys ready or do you want some more time for socializin'?"

"I'm ready," Joe replied, patting Adam's shoulder before climbing over the other men and pausing at the end of the wagon. Adam took a deep breath as he prepared to help give cover fire. Surprisingly, his lower back felt strong and he felt confident in his stamina but he told himself that he would be careful, if only for his brother's sake. At the same time as he waited, Joe was thinking about how much he wanted a good steak to eat right then, a dumb thought to have at a crucial moment but the threat of death does strange things to a man's mind, he conceded. Beside him, Henderson paused, his hand resting on Joe's shoulder and his fingers digging into the green jacket.

"Cartwright?" Joe glanced warily over his shoulder into the older man's face. A smile played around the sheriff's thin lips. "Ya got guts and I'm right sorry about the hard time I gave you awhile back. Didn't mean anything by it. Ya know...ya kinda remind me of myself at your age, all full of ideas and ambition. Guess I got a little hot around the collar, rememberin' how I used to be."

For what felt like the millionth time that day, surprise passed over Joe's face. "No need to apologize, Sheriff. No harm done. You had me worried there though. I thought you had changed your view of this venture."

Henderson's grip tightened on Joe's arm. "Not at all. Just had to get my old act together. I've gotten kinda set in my ways..." his voice became hushed, "you ready to run now?"

"Yeah," Joe nodded in earnest.

Bodies tensing, each muscle tightening in case it was needed, the eight men waited for the signal from the sheriff. Adam raised his rifle in unison with his comrades and got into position. When the nod came, the riflemen opened fire into the trees as Joe broke free, running for his life to the first point of safety. Darting from rock to bush to tree to log, he was at last close enough to climb the short embankment and slink behind enemy lines. The backs of the unsuspecting assailants became visible and well open to attack but Joe didn't want to give away his advantage just yet. He hid in the bushes, not even daring to breath as he waited. Within minutes, the moment of truth came as one of the gunman left the others and moved away from the scene, looking as if he had an important matter on his mind. Joe's eyes narrowed, a grin pulling up the side of his mouth. Nodding in agreement with himself, he began to move again. Following the man carefully, Joe took his time and he was soon satisfied. He observed the loner meet with a man sitting on a horse a short distance from the scene of gunfire below. It appeared that instructions were given and the horseman was alone again. Joe saw his chance. Moving with many years of learned stealth, he split off, circling around. Like a lion closing in on an unsuspecting deer, he stalked his prey until he was so close he could hear the horse breathing. Tensing, he took advantage and sprang, pulling the man off the horse and punching him hard with a clenched fist across his jaw. The skinny man sprawled in a tangle of arms and legs.

His hands on his slim hips, Joe grinned down at the captive. "Well, what do we have here, huh?"

Bending down, he relieved the pistol from the man's gunbelt and tucked it into his own waistband. Then he jogged the man's shoulder, bringing him around into reality. "Hey...hey, wake up. Who are you? You the head honcho of those men causing the ruckus down there?"

Opening his eyes, the man scowled, a hand coming to the bruise forming on his jaw. "Why would I tell you, dog? You just caught me off guard, is all. Don't mean nothing."

A fire jumped to Joe's eyes. Dropping his rifle, he reached down and grasped the lapels of the man's vest, wrenching him up to his feet. "Oh, you _will_ tell me and fast, unless you want me to break every bone in your body right now! I don't want to have to kill you but I can make your life miserable for as long as I want until you relieve your conscience. Come on, cough it up!"

Seeing the iron courage in the younger man's rugged features, the man in Joe's grasp made the right decision. "My name is Menson. Shane Menson."

Joe smirked. "Now that's better, Mister Menson. Call off your men and I won't hurt you."

Menson stared into Joe's face then he burst into laughter, his head falling back at his private joke. Joe's eyes narrowed again and he glanced around sharply, alarm bells beginning to sound in his brain. A twig snapped in the trees and he bristled, dropping his grip and going for his pistol. Free at last, Menson spun around and took a chance at catching his attacker off kilter. Clenching his fist, he shoved it into Joe's stomach, making the younger man double over in pain, giving another chance for Menson to knock him to the ground with a punch to the face. Black spots swam before Joe's eyes as the pistol was taken from his limp hand and the other from his waistband. A chuckle came through the haze and he roused enough to rise up on his elbow with a hand to his jaw. A boot shoved his shoulder and he fell back again, a grunt matching the grimace coming to his face. The shadows of two men were silhouetted against the bright sun harshly glaring into Joe's unfocused eyes.

With a laugh, Menson reached down and yanked Joe up, pinning his arms behind his back and bringing him face to face with the second man. Becoming fully coherent, Joe found himself in front of a wiry, olive-skinned personage with black eyes and straight, short hair to match but he was covered in normal, white man's clothes, indicating his double heritage. Seeing the former Deputy Lem Dudley standing there, Joe felt like a complete fool, knowing that he was finally in the presence of the gang's leader, not the idiot behind that he had allowed to best him. In silence, the two men regarded each other. The half-breed had an arrogant smile on his face as he inclined his head to Menson and Joe was released to stand alone. Only then did Dudley speak.

"I want to set you straight on a few things before we begin and so we're clear. You are my prisoner and my bargaining chip. I could snap your neck as easily as a rabbit's if I so chose but I won't...for now...only because I have bigger plans."

"Such as?" Joe asked, nervously shifting to his other foot and keeping an eye on Menson who stood close with a gun pointing at his back.

Dudley grinned, chuckling as he scanned the young man from head to toe and back again. "First thing is first. What's your name, young fella?"

Joe remained silent, thinking of making a break for it, but when he felt the gun barrel nestle between his ribs, he decided it would be smarter to comply. "My name is Cartwright. Joe Cartwright."

Dudley's eyes sparked with recognition. "Ah! Joe Cartwright...any relation to Adam Cartwright?"

Irritated that everyone seemed to know his older brother but not himself, Joe nodded with reluctance. "He's my brother."

"Yes, now I see the family resemblance," Dudley sneered, "The same stubborn, repugnant notion that wealth, power and land makes you both men. Well, it doesn't and I aim to put your kind to rest once and for all."

"But why?" Joe cried in frustration, "Why would you betray everything that you know and the trust of so many good men? You are scum and deserve what you get when the sheriff down there finds out about you!"

His grin fading, Dudley stepped closer so that he was nose to nose with his adversary. His hand came up to clamp around Joe's neck, crushing his windpipe and making him fall to his knees. Joe's eyelids fluttered as he choked, the threat of losing consciousness very real. Caught off guard by the strength in the man, he stared up desperately into the black eyes but there was no mercy to be found there. The half-breed maintained his grip, leaning down and a smile returning to his lips. "Like I said, time to take care of you obsessed murderers once and for all. Sleep well, Cartwright. Your brother will follow you first then the rest of your family. Too bad you won't be here to see it."

With a final iron squeeze, he watched as the green eyes closed and Joe slumped to the ground, limp and deathly pale; his chest appeared not to be moving. Dudley slowly stood and threw his head back in a triumphant laugh, his eyes sparking again with glee. Turning to Menson, he nodded and the subordinate stooped to hoist the body onto his shoulders.

"Let's take him down and see the look on Cartwright's face when he sees the body of his spoiled little brother!" Dudley grinned and started down the hill. Once reaching the bottom, the leader motioned for a ceasefire and all was quiet. Then he stood behind a thick, oak trunk with his rifle ready in his hands. Winking at his men, he began to taunt.

"Cartwright! Adam Cartwright! I know you're down there, show yourself! I got something that you may want."

Adam's brow furrowed, his breath almost stilling completely. Six pairs of eyes behind the wagon trained on him for an instant while Henderson's own eyes nearly bulged out of his head as he recognized the voice. "Dudley! What in tarnation are you doing! I trusted you with my life more than once and now you betray me!"

"Just another example of how stupid you are. Shut up, old man, this doesn't concern you! Cartwright, show yourself or you won't like what happens next."

Henderson harrumphed and sputtered at being talked to in such a manner and stood before anyone could stop him. He fired off two shots before a return shot caught him in the chest and another sped through the tissue on his hip. With a grunt he fell across the wagon side and lay still. His blood began to run down the wood as Adam reached up to pull him into his arms. Passing the dead man off to the other two deputies present, Adam suddenly found himself in charge, a position he loathed, especially when worry was wrapping its cold fingers around his mind as he wondered where Joe was and what was taking him so long. To buy some time, he forced his voice to sound friendly, even though he felt far from it.

"Dudley? Is your name Lem Dudley?" Adam couldn't help a hard chuckle, "I've heard a lot about you."

Dudley chuckled in return. "I bet you have, friend. I'd love to shoot the breeze more but first, _**you** come out_."

"I'm going out there," Adam murmured, exhaling forcefully, but Jenkins clutched at his sleeve.

"Ya can't do that. You'd be going to kill yourself. We can take 'im. Just wait, will ya?" the old man said, concern evident in his eyes.

Not having been introduced properly, Adam was at a loss to how his companion wanted to be addressed so he settled for a pleasant smile. "Thanks, mister, but I'll be fine. Keep the others in line, I'll be back soon."

Jenkins was not so sure as he watched the tall, young man stand and begin to walk into the center of the clearing beyond the barricade. The old man swallowed down the taste of bile forming in his throat while guilt reached his bones for the second time that day. His stomach roiled, a moral voice whispering into his ear that even if he had never made sure that young lady was safe, he should do something to right the wrong he had done to her and her young man. Whenever she had mentioned his name, her eyes would glow and, despite her fear, a delicate tone would enter her voice. Suddenly, he couldn't stand for Adam Cartwright being the only one with a backbone. He clutched his rifle in his hands as he carefully stole away from the wagon, hoping and praying to be unseen by any man present. Seconds passed and no shots were fired in his direction. Grinning, he moved higher and soon found a neat perch. Not only could he see Adam and a wide view of the area but, from his vantage point, he also had a clear line of sight to Lem Dudley's head. Placing the gun barrel carefully on a broken tree limb conveniently nearby, Jenkins took aim, his finger closing around the trigger...and he waited when he witnessed what was transpiring below.


	18. Chapter 18

Since its grand opening, The Helping Hand restaurant and shelter had done quite the brisk business. It was an attractive, two-story building, more than welcoming with white picket fences bordering the front lawn, vegetable gardens outside of the dining hall and a tall false front that sported black trim along the edges while the main color remained a clean cream. From a low porch was hung the red and black sign, _**Margaret's Helping Hand**_ ; a dedication to a loving mother and to that same love that the owner wanted to impart to all who entered. Any stranger walking past down the wooden sidewalk could be able to see that someone must be taking great pride in the establishment and nothing could be closer to the truth.

Standing discreetly in the shadows of the pantry, Evangeline caught her breath after the breakfast rush and observed the packed dining hall. Laughter, gossip and banter rose from the diners but respect and order also seemed to be in full force, per her rules. As for hired help, she was moreover satisfied in the waiter as he weaved among the tables, smiling and being most attentive. She smiled, happy that her real passion was being fulfilled in him, at least in part. From the start, the restaurant had been only had been way to fund the homeless shelter that made up the rest of the house. Two of the empty rooms upstairs had already been filled by two unfortunates and work had been given them.

First, the gardener, Max, a middle-aged man with a small family that desperately needed the money he was making now and then there was Isaiah, the waiter, a young man of only sixteen years old who had been made an orphan recently and had been living on the streets. Loyalty had been wholeheartedly given to their young employer as had been given by Elvira Clery, the widow who lived in an nice apartment now because of the generous wage paid to her. While she had been destitute, her husband dead and had barely managed the fare to get to Virginia City and to her married daughter, now she had more than enough to be independent and still have extra to save besides.

Moisture pricked Evangeline's eyes as she turned back into the kitchen, her skirts swishing to and fro. The sound seemed to echo the agitated state of her mind. She had the luxury of wealth, a loving father, a place of business that was thriving and giving her an occupation and then there was the wonderful man that filled her life was such richness and color to whom she was to marry within three days on that Saturday. She should be feeling completely and totally happy but she wasn't. What was wrong with her?

Sighing, she joined Elvira by the stove and went about making a pot of the house-special-of-the-day; hearty vegetable stew served with mashed potatoes and yeast rolls. While briskly beating a new batch of potatoes, she was reminded of the moment shared with Adam over a similar pot of the same. The teasing manner he had used when delicately tasting a piece of potato, smacking his lips and his brow furrowing in concentration. Then he had looked at her and grinned, a glorious sight to behold at any time of day. Her busy hands slowed, her mind wandering and fresh tears threatened to spill. She tried to keep silent but when she allowed a sniff to escape, Elvira noticed immediately. Without a word, she went about making two cups of strong coffee and came up to the young woman with one cup held out.

"Here, Miss Evangeline, take a swig of this. It's been quite the morning and, if you don't mind my saying so, you look a tad tuckered out," Elvira smiled gently, motherly compassion bringing concern to her heart.

With her own smile, Evangeline accepted the cup and took a sip. Her head tilted back, her eyes closed while she enjoyed the warmth soothing the back of her dry throat and pooling in her stomach. Squeezing her friend's arm, she sighed. "Thank you, Ellie. I needed this break. Let's sit down, I would like to ask you about some...sensitive matters that have been bothering me."

"Of course, Miss, come and sit here at the table. I don't know if I can help but I can do my best."

Evangeline gulped nervously as she sat primly, her hands folded in front of her on the table. Staring at her fingers, she struggled to find the right words. "I...I love Adam..."

Elvira laughed, her eyes twinkling. "That, my dear, is hardly news! You light up like a firefly whenever that handsome gentleman is in the same room as yourself. If you are doubting his love for you than I can put your mind at ease. He fairly glows when you are at his side and his attentiveness is unmatched...except by my own dear departed, God rest his soul."

"Thank you...but my love for him is not what I want to talk about..." Evangeline wished that the other woman could read her mind instead of the matter having to be spelled out, "I...I am twenty-nine years of age and have more experience with men than most younger women would but...I still am not sure what to expect on the eve of my, well, of Adam's and my...wedding night. Not completely anyway. Momma talked of this on two separate occasions but not enough to get the full explanation."

Elvira felt her face growing red and she averted her eyes, burying her face in her coffee cup and taking a long gulp. Evangeline waited until her friend made steady eye contact again. The widow collected herself and silently vowed to listen without buckling. "I catch your drift sure enough."

"Oh, good," Evangeline replied with relief, feeling better already at not being shot down for this delicate subject, "I just love him so much...oh, Ellie, I love him with my very being. If anything should happen to that man...I hope to die in that hideous moment because I wouldn't be able to live a day without him. I was a bitter mess upon coming to Virginia City. My mother's death left my father and I in a deep...deep hole that neither of us would have come out of if not for a fresh start. I resisted Adam's attentions, you know...but he never left. He was so patient and sweet and kind...that my hate for the world melted away, a little bit at a time. Now, this unique man of so many talents is going to be my husband and I don't know how to be worthy of him. I'm frightened."

"Well, what does he say on that subject?"

Evangeline took another sip of coffee and shrugged as she placed the cup back into its saucer. "He denies any expectations he might have for our marriage. He says that I could never disappoint him but there is something in me that doesn't quite believe him."

Elvira snorted softly. "That is a folly and I know without even knowing him that well. He doesn't have a lying bone in his body, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Men like him are few and very, very far between, Miss. Trust him and the rest will come naturally."

"But are you sure? I want to please him so badly, to...to try and pay him back for all he has done for me."

"Yes, but you must remember what you are bringing to him!" Elvira stated, reaching for the young woman's hands and caressing them lightly, "You are a beautiful, strong, pure woman who has brought true meaning into his life as well. A love like that, born from hardship between two people, well...most will never experience it. Treasure that. Cherish your man just as you already are and he will continue to bloom into the beautiful, rare orchid that he is. I would never presume to speak of matters I know not but I have seen many people and looked into many sets of eyes and let me tell you that Adam Cartwright's has known much pain and heartache. I noticed that the first time I met your young man."

"You're right...he has seen more than either of us could know, I fear." Tears threatened to flow down Evangeline's cheeks as she nodded, the memory of his scarred back and his abused chest still as fresh in her mind as the day he had made himself vulnerable to her. The agony in his eyes then still shook her to the core and she could almost feel the raised and jagged scars under her fingertips. Coming back to the present, she looked into Elvira's eyes and smiled. "Thank you. If I have been inappropriate, I am so sorry but I don't have a woman to talk to anymore...not since my mama died."

"It is always my pleasure," Elvira said tenderly, one of her weathered hands coming up to smooth a few strands of Evangeline's brown hair from her forehead, a sweet gesture that did bring tears to fall. The widow frowned and stood to come around the table, taking the young woman into her arms. "There, there, my dear. Everything will work out in the end. Just have patience and have faith in the ones who love you, especially that good man."

Evangeline sat straight at length and wiped the tears away. The widow gave one last smile before she stepped away to stand before the other woman. To Evangeline's surprise, she was afforded a neat curtsy by her friend. Before she had a chance to speak, Evangeline was interrupted.

"Your gentleman is not the only one whose breed is 'few and very, very far between', ma'am. You are a rarity of a lady yourself."

With one last curtsy, Elvira left the little kitchen table and returned to work, leaving Evangeline to sit in silence. A moment to ponder was all she needed before her mind was made up. Rising to her feet, she smoothed her dress absentmindedly and then she donned a clean apron. As she walked to the kitchen to finish the stew, her firm footsteps beat out a tune to a song only she could hear... _Trust Adam...believe in his love?...that I can do...the rest, I need not worry about..._

I* * * * *I

With his every step forward, Adam's self-preservation was pulling at his legs, telling him that doing this fool thing was a bad idea. But he refused to heed the caution, his trust still being with his brother. Two more steps and he stopped, waiting for what could come next. His head inclined from side to side, his eyes dilating as the silence put him ill at ease. A rustle from the brush directly in front of him caused him to tighten his grip on his rifle but it remained dangling by his side and bumping against his thigh.

"So, Cartwright, I have something for you but what do you have for me?" Dudley laughed as he emerged, no gun in sight and his arms held out at his side, palms out.

Adam eyed the man with hard distrust steeling the lines around his mouth. "Depends on what you are so anxious to have me see."

Dudley sniffed in derision. "Still high and mighty, aren't you? What would you say if I told you I have your baby brother in our grasp? What then?"

The question didn't appear to faze the cool outer layer of Adam's face but inside, he was reeling. The tone of his voice lowering into a dangerous edge, he chose his words carefully, each one falling from his mouth as if they had lead weights attached. "Then...I would have to kill you where you stand if he has anything wrong with him other than mussed hair."

Anger clouded the haughty man's olive features and he scowled. "You are no better than me! People like me, they gotta work for what they get. My parents were outcasts and my father was shunned by all just because his skin was darker than most folks. Both of them was killed by a lynch mob when I was ten but I remember his screams to this day. And do you know what he was screaming with the very last breaths in his body?" Adam didn't bat an eye, no emotion shown, and Dudley continued, "He told me to run. 'Run,' he said. Can you fathom that? He didn't want to fight! He gave up and let my mother die! Well, that night I swore that I would do the opposite that he had ever done and here we are."

"Where's my brother?"

"Oh, you want to see him, do ya? Menson! Send the kid out!"

Adam's attention was captured by another rustling and then the sound of flesh cracking against flesh chilled him. Joe's airborne body came sailing through the bushes and rolled to a stop as it hit the ground. His lip was cracked, blood trickling down his chin and deep bruises had formed around his throat, evidence of strangling. A cry welled up in Adam's own throat.

"Joe!" he cried as he stepped forward but was knocked flat on his back by a well-placed punch by Dudley who laughed, quite pleased with himself. He was savoring the moment and was reluctant to let it end.

"You are pathetic, Cartwright! You left yourself wide open to attack and for what? A snot-nosed brat!"

Adam nodded subtly to himself as if in resignation of the facts that were staring him down. Carefully, he rose and stood straight, towering over the other man. "That's where we're different. He might be a snot-nosed brat once in awhile but he's still _my_ snot-nosed brat. I won't leave him and you aren't getting my boy's gold either. What happens next is up to you. I may be exposed to your men's rifles right now but so are you to the sheriff's. It's a stalemate. There isn't any way that this ends in your favor."

Dudley shrugged, holding his hands out as if in supplication to be understood but knowing that no resolution could be reached. The time had come. "As you wish, my friend. It's your head and your brother's. I could care less if I die today. My life ended that night and I have always been on borrowed time anyway, being a dirty half-breed and the son of a disgraced brave and a harlot to boot. But are _you_ so ready to enter the next world?"

Adam clenched his jaw, the sore muscles rippling as it tightened. He was unwilling to think of all that he had to live for and he was resistant to the criminal's attempts to distract him. If he was going down, then he was going down fighting; a noble end that was fitting for one who carried patriot, red blood dating all the way back to the War for Independence and beyond. Taking a deep breath, he opened his mouth to speak but the single crack of a Winchester bit the morning air and interrupted any thoughts he might have spoken. The world slowing into something unreal, Dudley stiffened where he stood; the light faded from his open eyes as he fell straight backward, much like a tree would relinquish control to the wind driving against it. Those present all stared at the body twisted on the ground, blood pouring from the neat hole in the side of the dark head.

In the same instant, the sound of approaching horsemen drew near and Adam spun to see his father and Hoss leading the charge, guns being pulled to fire. As of one accord, the clearing erupted with deafening cacophony as the riders dismounted and found cover. As he hit the dirt, Adam heard his name being shouted by his pa but he didn't wait long enough to take much notice. He focused his energy on crawling over the corpse and reaching out for his brother. For a fraction of a second, overwhelming fear stabbed at Adam's heart but when his hand found solace in Joe's coat, strength surged through his veins. Keeping low, he pulled on Joe and dragged the limp young man with him as he fought to gain leverage in the sandy soil. When they were close enough, Jenkins, having returned, ventured forth and grabbed the two men, pulling them behind the overturned wagon once again.

His chest heaving from exertion, Adam didn't miss a beat as he ignored the chaos flying about his ears and he whipped off his hat and pressed his ear to Joe's strong beat of Joe's heart and the steady breathing nearly was Adam's undoing as relief flooded through him. The young man moaned and rolled his head, groggily coming into the land of the living. Adam sat back against the wood and closed his eyes, only now realizing that he was shaking like a leaf. Sweat trickled down his face and he wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly freezing. His breath began coming in short gasps and his vision blurred. Without his notice, the shots gradually ceased around him.

While the men rounded up the surviving gang members, Ben ran to his sons with Hoss right behind. When they arrived, Ben didn't know which son to see to first. Joe had a cracked lip, bruises on his throat and looked to be regaining consciousness. Adam, on the other hand, was as pale as death and trembling, his eyes closed. The stranger thing was that he had his arms around himself, as if protecting himself from something.

"Hoss, take care of Joe, I'll see to Adam," Ben ordered with more calm than he felt. Hoss complied instantly and the father knelt by Adam's side. He gently patted Adam's cheek but there was no response, only more shivering. Ripping his own coat off, he wrapped it around his eldest and leaned down close.

"Adam, take deep breaths. Please, come on, easy, easy. What's wrong? Were you shot? Say something, please!" Ben demanded, trying to keep the panic out of his voice as he checked for any visible blood but the black clothes were making that difficult. For the second time in as many days, his son was in some sort of distress and he had no clue as to what was wrong. With a growl of frustration, Ben grasped Adam's shoulders and gently eased him to the ground. The next few minutes were spent in calming talk and soothing touches until Adam's sporadic breathing settled. He was still shivering but he was able to sit up and take deep gulps of air.

"I'm fine, Pa. Just...got a little dizzy...there. See to Joe, don't bother about me."

When he received a faint smile, Ben released a breath that he did not know he had been holding. A frown twisted his face and he passed a hand over his mouth. He squeezed Adam's arm and moved to kneel beside Joe who was trying to sit up as well but was being held back.

"Hoss! I'm fine, let me go, I need to see Adam! He saved my life...I...got to see...him..." Joe struggled against Hoss' grip, his strength returning but he was still weak, collapsing back in the end.

Ben was firm. "Son, you've been strangled to an inch of your life. You have to stay still until we can get some transportation to get you back to a doctor."

"Little brother, stay right where you are. Adam's right over there if you stop long enough to look," Hoss said, thumbing in their brother's direction.

Joe stopped squirming and turned his gaze to the side. First, relief relaxed his face but then he frowned. He reached out and grasped Adam's coatsleeve, not receiving a reaction of any kind. Adam's eyes were closed and Joe could feel a slight shiver under the fabric. "Adam? You okay?"

"I'm fine, Joe, you needn't worry..." Only Adam's lips moved, his eyes remained closed. Such dizziness was cascading in his head that the world was becoming surreal. "Are _you_ alright? You...scared me out of a year's growth."

Joe started to chuckle but that caused a cough that racked through his hoarse throat. It took a moment for him to reply and by then Adam was able to look at him. Their gazes met and, simultaneously, the two men smiled. Joe was going to speak but Clem walked up to the family and interrupted the conversation with his silent presence. Ben glanced up and the deputy inclined his head to indicate his wish to speak with the oldest Cartwright. With a discreet nod, Ben then gave one last ultimatum to Joe to remain still and turned to his other son in distress. Adam had his eyes closed again, his head leaning back as he took in deep breaths, carefully measuring how much air he was taking in to minimize any more vertigo. Fussing with the coat so that it was higher on Adam's chest, Ben finished and stood, joining Clem. They moved off a few paces and spoke quietly, casting worried glances over to the three boys at intervals.

"How are they doing, Ben?"

"Stable, not much else. Joe needs a doctor and fast. Adam says he's fine but I don't believe him. He needs attention too. We need to get that wagon upright and moving as fast as we can."

Clem sighed, turning to the man by his side. "I don't think that wreck is going anywhere soon. I've already been checking on it and the back axle is busted clear through. I'll have to send one of the men for a buggy unless you think the boys can ride."

Ben didn't bother responding to a statement that was wishful thinking at best and both men knew it. He scowled, staring at the ground. He thought hard but couldn't think of anything helpful except that waiting was the only option. Without any real attention, he took in all of the activity happening all around. The gang had been rounded up but there were not very many prisoners, most having been killed in the gunfight. He didn't see a thing that could help but then, as if an answer to the prayers he had been praying since leaving the Ponderosa, a buckboard came around the bend in the trail. With excitement, Ben ran towards it, waving his arms like a madman to get it to stop. But then he recognized the horses as his own and he slowed, confused. Clem ran up behind and grinned at the man holding the reins.

"Mr Sharon? What the heck you doing way out here? Perfect timing, I must say."

Sharon snorted while climbing down. "I was left behind in Gold Hill but I knew that stiff-headed son of yours, Mr Cartwright, was going to get into trouble. I thought his buckboard could come in handy in such a case."

"You bet it will!" Ben exclaimed, grasping the banker's hand in gratitude, "Adam will be happy to see you."

"Don't count on it. He rather thought me a nuisance, I'm afraid," Sharon replied, sarcasm coloring his tone.

Ben waved off the comment and climbed aboard the buckboard. Taking the reins in hand, he moved over on the seat to make room. "It would be a pleasure to have you along."

A grin lit Sharon's face as he joined the rancher and the horses began to trot the short distance. Clem shook his head in bewilderment as he returned to his duties of securing the prisoners and bringing the group into some semblance of order. While he got his men under wraps and started the large party toward town, Ben and his helper got Joe into the buckboard before it was Adam's turn. Hoss assisted some but Adam was able to climb in on his own power, already feeling much better. Sharon chose to ride and Ben suggested his own buckskin as a calm mount for a man who did not sit a horse often, although he chose not to point out that bit. Chubb and the two rented horses were tied on the back and then all was ready for travel.

As the wheels began to turn, the atmosphere among the occupants was subdued. At least, until Hoss made a sudden comment about how "worry sure could sure make a body powerful hungry". The lingering reminder of familiarity and home broke the ice effectively. Light laughter rose and then fell as Joe quickly settled into a doze, succumbing to the stress on his body while Adam sat, keeping watch over his brother. He sighed. He couldn't remember when was the last time he felt this measure of relief. Despite the injuries sustained, the threat that had stalked him and his family had been neutralized for good. As his own eyes closed in passive rest, the image of Evangeline coming towards him in a gown as white as doves' wings made his stomach flutter. _Perhaps_ , he thought, _now we can look forward to the rest of our lives._


	19. Chapter 19

Doc Martin was a compassionate man by nature, as all doctors would be prudent to be in their profession but, unlike most of his peers, he had the unfortunate job of caring for the Cartwright family. He ground his teeth in frustration as he tried to examine Adam while the rest of the men hovered. The chatter was incessant, especially from Joe who sported bandages about his neck but for the most part, he had been declared able to return to his feet. The eldest Cartwright son, however, was a little different story than the other two patients. Although he was awake, his dizziness gone at last, his breathing was still irregular enough to cause concern. He lay still on the examining table; his eyes were closed and his chest rose only slightly with his each breath. He appeared to have regained his equilibrium before arriving at the doctor's office but was still weak and unable to keep his heart from racing without warning off and on. Hoss and Ben hovered nearby and added their questions to Joe's mix until the doctor couldn't take the distractions anymore.

"Alright, I can't work like this! Everyone out! I can't find what's wrong with him if I can't even hear myself think. Out!"

"But, Doc..." Joe started to protest but was silenced by a nudge from his father. Sufficiently chastised, the three men turned to go but not before each patted Adam's shoulder as they left. The door clicked quietly and Paul sighed with relief. Adam chuckled, his eyes opening to reveal a merry twinkle. He spoke slow and deliberate, trying to get his brain working.

"Thanks, Paul...I was about ready to throw them out myself."

"No need, Adam. They mean well but you need to just be quiet right now and let me look you over. Are you able to sit up for me?"

"I think so...nothing seems to want to work..."

Adam uncertainly tested the strength in his limbs and pushed himself up, managing to sit up but still grasping the table tightly, just in case the vertigo hit again. Paul opened the black shirt and slipped it off the young man's shoulders so that he could began to analyze Adam's lungs. Asking his patient to take deep breaths, the doctor listened intently; first between Adam's shoulder blades then his chest until Paul was soon satisfied that his patient's loss of breath wasn't due to clouding of the lungs for his sounds were clear. He then asked Adam to lay down on his stomach so that his back was exposed to examination. This portion of Paul's perusal brought concern to surface as he gently pressed on the areas down Adam's backbone. He was dismayed at what his fingers were telling him.

"Adam, how long has your back been this inflamed? Your entire lower back is hot to the touch."

Thinking it pointless to respond, Adam grimaced in pain as a particularly sore spot was probed. He ground his teeth as the prodding continued and he couldn't contain a choked gasp now and then. Paul finished as quickly as he could but found little else, his mind already made up as to what was wrong. Adam's grunts and the tension in his body were enough of a statement to Paul that the young man's condition was worsening. The doctor frowned deeply as he finished, reaching for Adam's shirt and helping him into it once more. After the last button was done up, he assisted the patient to have a seat in a comfortable chair and Paul took a seat across from him. Stern displeasure was written into Paul's countenance and Adam prepared himself for bad news. The doctor did not mince words, so was the strength of his fear for his friend's life.

"I know that you have duties and I know that it is your body to abuse as you see fit but I must have my say...friend to friend, not just as your doctor. I have found a long-term problem that we will have to discuss, whether you like it or not. There is an alarming amount of inflammation at the base of your spine and going all the way up to your neck. The swelling itself isn't serious and won't be an issue for awhile if you stay off your feet, take it easy and don't do anything that will further aggravate the inflamed muscles. What is worrying though is the fact that your spinal cord could have been affected by the aggressive activities you have chosen to be a part of. With the increasing amount and severity of the spasm attacks and add the recent bullet wound to that, you have been pushing yourself beyond endurance and that has weakened your immune system. What I'm trying to say is that you have lost a lot of ground in your recovery from the fall of last year. Although you regained the ability to walk, I am worried now that you are getting worse and may lose that function. You can only tempt fate so long until luck runs out. You are already being consumed by stress and the path to a wheelchair has begun. You are pale and have lost weight, ever since Miss Williams was abducted, I would say. You don't have the stamina that should be expected in a healthy man of your age. What has caused your vertigo and loss of breath was a plain overload of stress because your body simply can't take anything more. I think after pulling your brother from harm today, you had what some physicians are now calling, _an a_ _cute episode of distress_.* There isn't much information on the subject but a few of my associates feel that these 'moments' are caused by an innate sense of fear by a varying reason to each patient. I suspect that yours has been the danger upon your fiancée and upon your family."

The last comment struck too close to the mark and Adam gulped, his Adam's apple bobbed once and he didn't know what to say, reality berating him. He thought he had been fully aware of the possible consequences of his actions but not completely, it would seem. "What is the worse case scenario, Doc? Besides losing my ability to walk, which wouldn't be fun to go through again...what are my options?"

Paul sighed with exasperation as he stood and began to pace. "Rest will slow the process and the swelling could go down with time but if it doesn't then it will continue to spread. As a result, the spasms will be more frequent as the body is trying to compensate for the stress and they will also be even more severe. I've only seen this happen twice before in my career but both patients didn't live. The pain could become so bad that you will lose the ability to function normally and be either bound to a wheelchair once again or to bed. If you get to that point, there won't be anything more to be done. Your body will be strained to the point of complete exhaustion by the pain and any infection at all that you are exposed to could take you down. You could die...if you don't take this seriously, you WILL die."

Adam winced at the compassionate tone of his friend and he nodded. "I get it..." he nodded solemnly, his throat choking up. The image of his beautiful bride-to-be came to mind and he realized what a fool he had been to not take his injuries seriously. "I have been such an idiot, Paul..." His eyes met the doctor's with a plea clear in their hazel depths. "Tell me what to do. I am to be married in three days' time and I am more happy than I ever deserved to be but this...is a wall that I fear I can't climb. I'm tired of being tired! I'm sick of feeling as if I am losing control..." Paul smiled at that, chuckling softly. Adam's expression hardened and he glared at the man. "What is so amusing?"

"You are, that's what," Paul said seriously and leaned forward, clasping his hands inbetween his knees. "I have known your family for as long as you all have been around these parts and I've seen all the troubles that your father has been put through, along with all three of his boys. I've treated broken bones, illnesses, more gunshot wounds than I can count and a few unusual maladies that we don't need to go into. When are you going to learn? Adam Cartwright, you have no control over anything except your own mind! The sooner you except that, the sooner you can begin to heal, both in body...and in soul, I suspect." Adam lowered his gaze and didn't respond. Paul stood and came over, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezing firmly. "I want to keep you here for the night, to watch for any further complications. If not for me, then do it for your fiancée. She is expecting you to _walk_ down the aisle Saturday, not to be carried. That would break her heart, I know."

Adam didn't argue and numbly remained where he sat, his eyes glazed over. Afraid he had pushed too hard, Paul had a nurse bring in a nightshirt and then the doctor assisted him in changing into the comfortable garment. Before long, he had been led to a bed in the infirmary and was given medication to take that would help him sleep. As his patient drifted off to the a carefree land of dreams, Paul was far from being without troubles as he faced telling the worried father out in the waiting room how serious his son's condition was and could become.

I* * * * *I

Fidgeting in his seat, Ben exhaled with fear, trying to relax but finding that impossible. Hoss stood at the window, watching the townspeople trailing by and he wondered how a day could still be so normal while at the same time be so frightening. In the corner, Joe was overcome with guilt and he paced the length of the room until he was too exhausted to stay moving any longer. He sank heavily into the chair next to his father and buried his head in his hands.

"This is all my fault, Pa," he whispered, "What was I thinking? Going off half-cocked without talking to you and Adam. I got us into this mess..."

Ben sat forward and gripped his son's shoulders, offering support the best way he knew how. Gently rubbing, he spoke softly and sincerely, "Son, nothing about this is your fault. You did a good thing and it paid off. Your solution was ingenious, in fact, and did turn out right in the end. Clem has taken the gold to the bank and it will be safe now, just as Adam wanted. Yes, you probably shouldn't have done this one on your own but the gang was taken, both of their leaders subdued and your brother is no longer being hunted like some animal in the forest. I'm proud of you, Joseph. Adam never was one to pace himself and he just overdid it again, I'm sure of it. He'll be better in no time."

Though his words soothed Joe's troubled spirit, Ben hadn't convinced himself. In rare times, right before a crisis would happen to one of his boys, he would be able to feel the closeness of his three wives, as if they were drawing in to lend their support. Much to his dismay, he felt that warmth drawing in now. He clung tighter to the solidity of his youngest's body as they waited in lonely silence, the clock across the room ticking away another half hour. Paul exited the room and approached the men who stood to their feet quickly.

"How is he?" Ben asked, afraid to hear the answer but not being able to bear not knowing.

"Resting, I gave him something to knock him out for at least the next few hours. I want to keep him overnight to monitor him but then he should be free to go in the morn."

"But what is wrong with him?" Hoss asked, coming alive from his silent post by the window.

Paul took in a deep breath as he started to explain to Adam's family. Stunned, Ben, Hoss and Joe tried to process what was being suggested. Not waiting for any further explanation, Hoss went to be with his brother while Joe was the first to find his voice. "Do you mean that Adam could permanently be paralyzed or even...die? But that's impossible, he has been so normal! So...so, Adam-like. Why would healed injuries of last year be a problem all of the sudden?"

Paul nodded but his mouth was set in a sad smile. "But they haven't been 'all of the sudden'. He also has been in a tremendous amount of pain throughout that time and his spasm episodes have been increasing from what I've seen and heard. That all proves what I am saying. He needs to receive help before life as he knows it...stops."

Ben numbly stared at his longtime friend and his eyes took on a haunted look. "Yes, they have, I'm afraid. But...I thought it was just the stress of the past couple of months. Is there...is there a way to halt the damage?"

Paul lowered his head then raised it again, not knowing how to admit his ineptness in this matter. "I fear I don't have the knowledge that could help him beyond what I've told you and observed over the years. I know of several physicians in San Francisco, London, Paris and New York that may be able to help. They are working on groundbreaking discoveries but those are all in the experimental phase and may bring more distress than help. Those techniques also cost an outrageous amount of money which could prove to be of some great burden. Adam will have the final decision as to whether he will seek outside help, however, and it will have to be up to him as to how to proceed...that is, if and when the time would ever come, God forbid. It is his body, after all, and his life. I am praying that he wakes up tomorrow morning in much better condition than now because then that will mean that he only needs rest to bring about his recovery. Perhaps he won't need any other experts after all. We can only pray and hope that the sun rises over a healthier, stronger Adam Cartwright."

Silence fell like a blanket on the men, no one knowing what to say next until the front door opened. An older, short man stuck his head in, taking off his gnarled hat respectfully and fumbling with it as he hesitantly stepped forward. He couldn't help but notice the stricken looks being exchanged. "I was just wondering if Mr Cartwright is up and about yet. Is there any news?"

"You mean Adam? And just who you are?" Ben asked, wary of a man he wasn't acquainted with to be asking after his son.

Jenkins shifted nervously under the intimidating rancher's gaze. "Jenkins, sir. Just Jenkins."

Recognition sparked in those same dark eyes. Ben stepped forward to warmly shake the man's hand. "Ah, yes, Jenkins! I've been told you took out Dudley and most likely saved Adam's life. My thanks to you."

Jenkins turned a shade of red, embarrassed by the attention and feeling most undeserving of it. "There's no need, I was only doing what I'd been hired by the sheriff to do."

Ben smiled kindly, despite the pain eating at his mind. "Well, you still did a wonderful thing and I would like to repay you. What do you need? A job, a reference? Anything and it's yours."

"I really just want to know how your son is doin' and then I can be on my way."

Surprised at this stranger's empathy, Ben complied, the doctor helping to explain the medical side until Jenkins was up to date. Then Ben tried again to persuade him to stay. The old man was going to refuse but thought better of it in the end. "I suppose I could use a job but I don't expect much in the way of wages. I can do any kind of work and I ain't particular."

Ben nodded and spelled the terms of being a Ponderosa ranch hand then the matter was settled. Jenkins turned to leave the family in peace but then Ben had one last question. "How exactly do you know Adam? Are you two friends?"

A wrinkled hand scratched through the sparse hair on the old man's head. "I wouldn't go so far as to imply that. Let's just say I owe him a favor. I did him a wrong awhile back and I want to try and fix it. I'm jest not sure I can."

Staring into the man's eyes, Ben saw honesty there and he nodded, without needing to know what the wrong had been. He stuck his hand out to be shaken and he smiled one more time. "Well, I think saving his life is a good start. If you aren't a friend to him, then I don't know how you couldn't be."

Without a word, Jenkins almost stumbled over himself in fleeing out of the office. He stood outside and slapped his hat back on before mounting up on his horse and turning its head towards the Ponderosa, carrying a note with him that his new boss had given him to give the foreman. He hoped he wasn't making a dire mistake but he couldn't help his decision either. He had been a wanderer all his life but something about the Cartwright family had reeled him into a different existence, one of loyalty and thinking of someone else other than oneself. If only he didn't still have to hide behind the scenes but he had no choice. There was no way on Earth that Adam Cartwright would ever forgive him if he only knew who had been responsible for Evangeline Williams' abduction. No, Jenkins would have to stay in the dark to keep tabs on the young man from afar.

I* * * * *I

Back inside the doctor's office, Paul led Ben and Joe down the lonely halls to the quiet, dark room that held the cots used for in-house patients. Then he left them to tend to a few house calls. Hesitantly, the two men opened the door and stepped inside. Five beds lined each side of the room. Adam had been placed in the furthest bed on the right, under a large window. Hoss looked up from his place in a single chair by his brother's bedside. He blinked once and then rose, retrieving his hat. He came over to his father and spoke to him while Joe took the seat beside Adam.

"Pa, don't ya think I need to get Angie? I mean...would he want her to see him like this?"

"Yes, but her restaurant is closing in an hour. Wait until then," Ben said flatly, as if in a dream, staring at the sleeping form of his eldest, "She is his intended and has every right to know of his current situation. Besides that, she is a trained and skilled nurse...she will be of great help as always. He will need her when he wakes up...I, uh, need to check in at the jail too. Roy didn't show up with Clem like he said he was going to and I want to make sure he's okay..."

"Let me do that, Pa, while I wait for the restaurant to close. Please? I can't see him like this right now."

Ben stared into his gentle son's shining eyes and nodded once. "I'll stay here with Joe."

Without a word, Hoss nodded, understanding perfectly all that his father was trying to say. He gripped the older man's shoulder, pausing to impart strength before he left, confident in his mission and grateful for something to do. Ben felt himself being carried by his own legs, the few steps that it took to move to the opposite side of the cot from Joe. He sat on the edge of the bed and his fingers found the limp hand of his eldest. Staring into Adam's face, he couldn't stand the tightness in his throat a moment longer. He broke down, quietly weeping as the months of pain and worry came crashing down upon him. But he realized that he had been holding these tears in for the past three years. He wanted his eldest back but that could never be, he feared, but still hoped he was wrong. His son's heart had been chained in the desert, clutched by Peter Kane's cold, dead grip of death. If only the victim in Adam could be released from that horror and accept that it had happened. Ben wasn't convinced that his son had ever acknowledged whatever had occurred out there and he might never but the father simply prayed that his son would know...that all his sons would always know that they were never alone, so long as he drew breath.

*-I found the term, "acute episode of distress", from a fascinating article about the history of panic attacks. Type in this sentence into your Internet browser if you wish to learn more. The first article should be the one.

"Some notes on a historical perspective of panic disorder"


	20. Chapter 20

Afternoon was closing into evening, the sun softening about the edges before Evangeline was able to finish her work and think about leaving the restaurant for the night. Elvira had left a half hour earlier when her shift ended and even with Isaiah's help in finishing the dishes, it had taken longer than usual for Evangeline to wrap up all that her responsibilities entailed. Tired to the bone, she excused the waiter to go about his leisure for the rest of the night and she looked around at her handiwork while taking off her apron and dropping it into the laundry basket. Despite her fatigue, a soft smile of success was still a constant fixture on her face as she walked through the kitchen, the parlor and the dining hall before ending up in the foyer. She slipped into her green cape and donned a white bonnet while stifling a yawn. She wrapped the silk scarf attachment around her neck and adjusted it carefully, a cloud of pink framing her face in the end.

A loud, hard knock on the door interrupted the peace of the house and startled her. No one except either a man of some impressive strength, of a man of some ilk or of both qualities would be so obnoxious as to pound on a polite establishment's door. A brief thought of caution flitted across her mind as her hand found the small pistol tucked in her coat pocket, having been purchased upon Adam's insistence when she had opened The Helping Hand. "One never knows the characters that can come around but you must be independent while still being safe and prepared," was what Adam had said when he had taken her to Genoa to get the firearm and now, she was so thankful for her fiancé's wisdom. Gripping the pearl grip, she turned the front door knob and opened it. Hoss Cartwright stood looming in the doorway, his hat in hand. Relief flooded through her and she laughed nervously at her own jumpiness. Hurriedly, she replaced the pistol into her pocket before Adam's brother noticed.

"Hoss! How lovely to see you! How did the errand go? Adam mentioned something about it but didn't go into detail. Is he right behind you?" she glanced hopefully around but couldn't spot the dark presence of her man anywhere on the street. The smile still on her face, she turned back to regard Hoss and only then noticed the grave set of his brows. The smile faded. "Hoss, what's...what's the matter? Where is he? He promised he would be here when he was finished. Why isn't he with you? What is going on?"

Hoss finally found room to speak in the flow of increasingly panicked questions and he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. He was pained to feel a tremble going through her. "He is alive and hasn't been shot or anything like that but he isn't doing well. We ran into a bit of trouble and he must have overdone it like he does all the time. The doctor said that his back has been strained way past what it should ever be. And, Paul, uh..."

"Yes?"

Hoss gulped. "Paul thinks that Adam's spinal cord might have been affected and that there is a strong chance he could be paralyzed again. The full rest of it is kind of complicated and I'd be no good at explaining but...the gist is that he needs you. Pa can tell ya the rest."

Evangeline's eyes had widened while he had spoken and now she reminded Hoss of a startled filly, her eyes dilated with numb terror. For a full minute, she stared at him and blinked until she found her voice. "When...was he taken ill?"

"About noon, he started feeling dizzy and..."

"That was five hours ago!" Evangeline's gasp cut him short. "And no one saw fit to come get me! Why on earth wasn't I notified at once?"

"Well, Pa didn't want to distract you before your restaurant had closed. We know how much work it is for you and Adam wouldn't have wanted to cause a fuss, ya know that. I'm sorry...we...thought we were doing the right thing."

Evangeline wanted to retort most harshly but she bit her tongue, knowing that Adam's family meant well, even though no bowl of soup that was handed to a customer could ever more important than her beloved and his welfare. Tears began running down her cheeks as she hurriedly closed the door behind herself. "I must go to him immediately...I must go...must go. Oh, God...no...this can't be happening..." She closed her eyes as she suddenly leaned on the porch railing, feeling overcome with a wave of faintness that made her head pound.

"Miss Evangeline? Are you alright?" Hoss stepped forward quickly to cradle her elbow in his gentle hand.

Evangeline choked on a sob as she wiped tears that still were escaping despite her best efforts. A rush of nausea tore through her stomach and she retched, burying her face in one of the large bushes on the other side of the porch railing. Panting, she stayed leaning over the sturdy wood until the vomiting stilled. Hoss held her tight during this and waited quietly, not knowing what to do except maintain contact to let her know she wasn't alone. Her mind was racing and all she could think of was the taste of Adam's kisses and the escape they always provided. She longed for that dreamworld where her only concern was being consumed by the enveloping cloud of his beautiful gentleness. But now, no matter how much she tried, the memory of their last kiss was a blur...she couldn't even remember what she said to him. Had she told him how much she loved him? She didn't know and it hurt almost physically.

Another sob shook her as she felt hands turning her. Burying her head into the broad chest in front of her, she momentarily forgot that Adam wasn't holding her and she cuddled closer. But after her head began to clear as Hoss patted her back gently, she knew she didn't have the luxury of losing control of herself. Pulling away, she straightened her posture and pulled her shoulders back, preparing herself for this coming battle. Meeting Hoss' sad, blue gaze, her tearstained face remained blank. He gripped her forearm reassuringly; that seemed to push her over the edge and into reality.

"Are you okay?" he repeated quietly.

"No...no, Hoss. I am not okay but I have to be...don't I?"

Nothing more was said. Those final words resonated in the air as she placed a hand over Hoss'; her fingers squeezed warmly and he understood. The two of them ran down the sidewalk to the buckboard. Hoss once again cradled her elbow as helped her into the conveyance before he followed suit and signaled to the horses. They instantly obeyed, stepping into a lively trot and their harness jangled merrily. The town was abuzz with evening activities and the tinkle of saloon pianos and the whooping of drunk cowboys came to Evangeline's ears as the doctor's office appeared into view. None of it registered in her brain. Even before the wheels had stopped rolling, she had gathered her skirts and jumped out, hastening to get inside. Hoss ran to catch up, just in time to lead her to the infirmary.

Ben raised his head upon hearing footsteps coming down the hall and he stood quickly when he saw Evangeline striding towards him down between the beds, her back stiff and a frightened look on her face. As she removed her hat and cloak as she drew near, he could tell that she had been crying because her eyes were bloodshot and red. Joe rose from the chair and silently stood behind it, offering the seat to her but she brushed past, oblivious to everything and everyone except the sleeping face of her beloved. She drank in the sight of him as she slowly went to her knees, a sob catching in her throat. Her shaking fingers sought the strong, veined right hand lying on top of the covers. Tears began falling in silence as she kissed each of the knuckles and clutched it to her neck, gently rocking back and forth. Adam didn't move although his eyes moved behind his eyelids, the touch making him writhe in his dreamworld but he remained asleep.

The three men stood by helplessly as they watched her grief and wished that they could help in some way. Knowing of someone who could bring true comfort where no one else could, Ben ushered his two healthy sons out to give privacy to the young couple. Then he left the office on an errand of the most important nature. Evangeline wasn't aware of their absence until she tilted her head back in an attempt to get a hold of herself.

Thankful for the solitude when she realized that she was alone, she replaced Adam's hand on the bed but maintained her hold, never wanting to let go. She raised herself up enough to trace his cheeks lightly and kiss his unresponsive lips with all the tenderness she possessed. There was a bit of space on the right-hand side of the bed so she eased her slender body down next to his husky frame. Ever so careful not to disturb his rest, she wrapped her arms around him, curling into him slightly and resting her head in the crook of his collarbone. Lying motionless, she breathed in his masculine scent and listened to the blessed rhythm of his deep breathing. At one point, he sighed. At the gentle sound, she raised her head and looked down upon him. A grimace played about the corners of his mouth and his head tilted towards her a fraction of a second, his face relaxing into a serene neutrality. A tearful whisper of a voice interrupted the still air in the room and then she realized that the voice was her own.

"My darling, I'm here for you...do you hear me, sweetheart? I am not going anywhere and if you use this as an excuse to turn me away or pound yourself into the ground then I swear that my resolve will only be stronger. You can't get out of marrying me this easily...we have a little boy that couldn't live without you and neither could I. He needs a father and I need a husband to care for..." she paused, her throat aching too much to continue. Pressing her lips against the side of his head, one of her tears trickled into his black hair. She spoke in a whisper, her words muffled by the soft strands, "Don't you dare leave me...please, please, please be alright. I do not ask you for much, my love, but I ask for this...please...I want you to take me to our home that night and let us sit in front of our hearth. I...I want to look into your eyes, to see the firelight in them and know that we are man and wife at last...can you do that for me?"

Kissing the scar on his upper lip, she lay her head down again on his shoulder and sighed, suddenly feeling very tired after the day's work and now this latest stress had drained her to the point of exhaustion. Her eyes found the room's clock and its stern face taunted her as the seconds echoed, each one louder than the one before. A pattern of a countdown formed and struck her heart with each tick, as if with each passing minute, Adam's life was being drained away and sucked into a place which it could never return from. Tighter she clung to his chest, fresh tears watering her eyes until she heard footsteps come up behind her and a large hand pressed into her back. She tensed and her eyes narrowed, an irritation kindled at whoever the intruder was.

"I won't leave him. No matter how improper it is. He is where I belong and I will not abandon him two days before our wedding..."

"You won't have to, my dearest one...I agree that you are the best tonic for him right now. Stay right where you are. I just want to stay with you until he wakes up."

Her eyes widening, Evangeline looked over her shoulder and beheld the face of her father looking compassionately down at her, a gentle smile gracing his handsome face. "Oh, Poppa...I'm so scared..."

The soft, quiet cry warming his guarded heart, Frank knelt behind her and kissed her cheek, pressing his chest into her back and holding her against himself while rubbing her shoulder. "Ben came to get me. I am so sorry, my daughter. You don't deserve this."

"No... _he_ doesn't deserve this," Evangeline said and turned her head back to Adam.

Frank chose to stay silent, taking the time to fully peruse Adam's appearance for the first time. So used to matching wits with the stubborn young man who had found his way into his heart, Frank now was shocked at the vulnerability displayed by his daughter's betrothed. The pale pallor of Adam's skin alone was enough to bring horrible memories flooding back. Evangeline's mother, Margaret, had been Frank Williams' greatest love...she had been his life and his passion. When she had grown sick and near death, the dryness of her pale skin and the frigid ice of her hands would stay with her living husband for all time, a horrific memory of her last moments on this Earth.

His hand moving almost of its own accord, Frank couldn't help the temptation to touch the back of his fingers to Adam's lower arm. Relief passed over him upon feeling the warmth and moist feeling of the young man's limb. Holding his daughter more securely, Frank heard her sigh and he also exhaled. A father holding his little girl while she cradled the injured man to whom she would pledge her life and love...never was there a more stirring picture of loyalty from one generation to the next then was this.


	21. Chapter 21

Outside of the infirmary while Adam was watched over by his love and her father, Ben received the report he wanted from Hoss on the whereabouts of Roy Coffee. Upon talking to Clem, Hoss had gathered the information that the sheriff had stayed behind to personally take charge of the guard duty protecting the ranch house and its precious occupants. Ben was relieved to hear that the sheriff was safe and had not met with some calamity as well. There was already too many problems for one body and mind to take in one day. Once Hoss was again finished recounting the details of his errand, he sighed and scuffed a boot on the floor. He met his pa's tired gaze.

"Pa, what are we going to do now?"

Ben turned his body slightly, angling it so that the closed door was brought into his peripheral vision. "I don't know, Son...I really don't know. But at least the threat has been defeated and now we can try to focus on what is truly important. We will have to be there for your brother and Angie more than ever. This is no blasted way to start a married life together."

Wincing at the pain in his father's voice, Joe stared at the floorboards, a scowl on his bruised face. Guilt was still in the forefront of his mind and he couldn't help the fresh wave washing over him. His shoulders drooped and a deep ache entered his heart. He pondered over the last words spoken and a brief thought entered his mind. So tired he was that he almost allowed it to pass through but then he couldn't find a reason to not suggest it. Pulling his head high, a wisp of a hopeful smile crossed his face and he placed a hand on Ben's shoulder.

"Pa? I know that Adam may be pretty bad off but we have to carry on with the wedding plans, at least for Angie's sake. The guests will be arriving in town and she can't do all of this by herself. I know her and she won't be leaving his side anytime soon."

Ben tilted his head as he regarded the sincere, green eyes of his youngest. "What do you have in mind? We can't very well assume Adam will be on his feet at all in time for Saturday."

"No, but Hoss and I will go home and if you can hold off in bringing Adam home until noon tomorrow then we could take care of getting the ranch ready for them. Just taking the sheets off the furniture, picking fresh flowers and whatever else needs doin'..." Joe shrugged helplessly, his voice trailing off, "If nothing else...they'll know that their home is waiting when...if he is alright and can...run it."

With one tug, Ben pulled Joe into his arms and held him while the tears flowed. They clung to each other, letting two months of tension flow out of his body and dampen his father's shirt. Hoss wrapped his arms around them and together, they found strength in their closeness. Joe pulled back first, wiping his eyes and trying to smile but failed. Ben reached out to grip the back of his youngest's neck but then remembered the bruises and changed direction, raising his hand to cup Joe's right cheek. Staring again into the expressive green eyes, Ben smiled this time, understanding the panic present there.

"Joe, you need to do what you think is best but I think we should wait until tomorrow afternoon and see how he is in the morning. We still have over two days until the wedding and a lot can happen in that time. I know you want something to do, to somehow spare him all of this but you can't spare him. None of us can, Joe. Evangeline needs us to stand by her and let her make the next move. Alright, Son?"

Joe didn't answer but his head lowered in a solemn nod. Ben gripped his shoulder lightly and turned to Hoss who also received the solace of Ben Cartwright's fingers pressing into his muscle. The moment was shared among the threesome, treasured beyond measure and then it passed and was gone. Ben released his sons and smiled at them both.

"Now, I do think you both need to go home and get some real rest and some fussing by Hop Sing. Adam will sleep for most of the night and I will be here when he does wake up."

Hoss shook his head hard. "You need sleep too, Pa. You go home and I'll stay."

"I won't take any argument. I have one son in dire straits and I don't need any more but I promise that I'll find some sleep somewhere," Ben smiled as he walked them into the waiting room and to the door. "Besides, I need Abel, Hop Sing and Roy to be informed in a tactful manner instead of Clem bungling his way through and leaving way too many questions like he always does. Can you both do that for me?"

"Sure, Pa, we'll take care of them all. Make sure you keep your promise though," Joe said, a thin smile lighting his lips, "We'll be back early in the morning."

Ben patted Joe's back and then his two sons were swallowed up into the gathering darkness. He watched them go with a fond love in his chocolate eyes. He stood as if in a trance, staring at the door and listening to the firm footsteps retreating into the night...and his sore heart was warmed. The way that his two youngest were supporting Adam and showing their affection toward him provided Ben with a satisfaction that only a parent could ever feel; the revelation that one's children have learned the lessons that have been diligently taught through the years and have followed through, becoming the kind of adults that make other parents jealous. As Ben turned to intrude on the cozy scene in the room so he could be with his eldest son, he thanked God for his family and prayed that they could all weather this latest storm. He exhaled as his hand came to the infirmary's doorknob... _we all have to be due for some happiness...don't we?_

Entering the room as quietly as he could, Ben stood with his back against the door, watching Frank and Evangeline standing by the bed, deep in an embrace. Ben watched as she was released from the hug being given her and she sat on the edge of the bed, grasping Adam's hand and sliding her other hand up and down his wrist. Frank gripped her shoulders and turned, meeting Ben's gaze and the two fathers smiled from across the room.

I* * * * *I

The cool, evening air greeted the brothers when they stepped outside of the doctor's office. Almost as one, they heaved a sigh, more than grateful to get a break from the stuffy and claustrophobic walls. Still, no contentment could be found in this night. The two men, who had collectively raised the younger Cartwrights, were still inside and in pain; one was in physical discomfort while the second was distraught with worry. In silence, Joe led the way to the livery stable and their horses were looked in on before they hitched up their buckboard and began the long ride home out of town towards the Ponderosa. The stars were beginning to come out and shone down alongside the curved moon. As the noise of Virginia City faded into the distance, Hoss gripped the reins firmly and he took comfort in the gentle beauty of the night. He glanced at Joe and a smile flitted to his mouth before he returned his gaze to the clear heavens.

From the right, one particular star broke from its bonds of tangible form and streaked across the sky, surpassing its companions in brightness until it lost strength and faded. Hoss frowned, something about that falling star reminding him of his big brother. Adam was a fighter, a doer; he was always pushing himself and constantly testing the limits of his health but it was bound to catch up to him eventually and it had. Hoss felt torn in two, afraid of the future and what it could hold. The last time they had been alone together had been their argument in the bathhouse and that encounter had not gone well. He desperately wanted to be there when Adam woke up and to show his older brother that, despite their disagreements, he was there for him. On the other hand, Joe needed that same reassurance but in more measure. Hoss sighed and nodded to himself, deciding that he was doing the right thing. He knew in his bones that Adam would want him to be with Joe but, for some reason, that didn't help the conflict eating him up because the truth was, he loved both of his brothers equally.

In another hour, the ranch house was coming into view. Both men were relieved and made quick work of putting the horses away and making sure the rest of the animals were fed. Looking forward to a refreshing snack and then a soft bed, the brothers locked the barn doors and started toward the warmth awaiting them. The door opened, light spilling forth and a small man was silhouetted in the cheery brightness. Hop Sing came running toward his two charges, his hopeful grin fading as he failed to see the other two men of the family arriving home. Then he saw Joe's bandages and began chattering in his native language, agitated at his world being turned upside down yet again. Holding up his hands to get a word in edgewise, Hoss explained as best he could while Hop Sing ushered the young men into the house. The cook was informed of the events of the morning then the onset of Adam's condition and he also was told that Ben was staying back in town for the night.

Stunned by all that had happened in so few hours of the day, Hop Sing was more than upset but soon found his stride anyway. He ushered his charges to sit by the fire while he bustled around, pouring two small glasses of brandy to warm their bellies while he prepared food. Hoss sipped his glass gratefully while glancing around and just now realizing that Abel, Katherine and Jody were nowhere to be seen. He asked after them but Hop Sing only shook his head.

"Captain, Missy and Jody gone to bed. Let them sleep and get rest. Morning will be soon enough for worry."

"Guess you're right," Hoss sighed, burying his face in his glass and then he leaned his head back. _Just as well that Adam's kin and Jody are in bed,_ he mused, his eyes closing, _I don't think I can say those words again that Adam has taken ill. I just can't say it again...not tonight anyway._

The talk fading away as there was nothing more to be said, the room grew quiet, only the tick of the clock disturbing the ambiance of the peace. While Joe and Hoss stretched out long legs and rested weary eyes, the cook hurried to portion out two bowls of stew that had been kept warm and he grabbed a few thick slices of bread to go along with it. The brothers found that they were famished, having not eaten since the morning, and they gulped down the food, despite the Chinaman's disapproving clucks as he checked Joe's wounds. As if the doctor hadn't been competent in caring for the young man, Hop Sing checked the cuts and bruises, satisfied at last that all was well. He returned to the kitchen and retrieved a container of herbal salve. Gently, he applied the soothing oil to Joe's neck and then redressed the purple marks with soft bandages. By the time he was done, Hoss had fallen asleep in the blue chair, his arms dangling over the armrests. Stretching his tired body out on the settee, Joe wasn't far behind as Hop Sing finished and stood, hovering over his charges with a sad smile making lines around his eyes.

Going to the credenza, he retrieved two wool blankets from within and covered each man in turn. The lights were doused and only the fire created flickering hues to bounce off the sleeping men's outlines. Hop Sing glanced back once more before popping into the guest bedroom to check on George Meeker. The man was sleeping full and deep and his fever seemed to have left for his skin was cool to the touch. The last of his duties completed and feeling quite tired himself, Hop Sing quietly left the room and entered his own bedroom. Collapsing on the bed, he fell into a restless slumber until the cheerful rays of morning woke him the next day.


	22. Chapter 22

The morning came in a burst of a glory, the sun rising amid vibrant reds, pinks and shades of gold. The light grew brighter and more insistent as it crept over fields, roads, trees and buildings until the doctor's office was found and explored. Climbing up to the infirmary's east windowsill and spilling over, the golden illusion crept toward the nearest bed upon which a dark-haired man lay, held in the loose embrace of a young woman sitting on the floor with her head resting by his hip.

Evangeline winced as the sunlight shone into her face and disrupted the moments of precious peace that she had fallen into only a few hours earlier. She opened her eyes and winced again, her pupils coming into contact with the painful brightness. Her fingers flexed and trailed away from being wrapped around Adam's torso, her hand feeling empty and cold as it left his warmth. She stared blankly at the outline of Adam's side through the quilt. The memory of the night before floated into her mind and at first, she hoped it had only been a bad dream. Raising her head off the cot, she moved her gaze to Adam's quiet face. He looked peaceful and she couldn't help but smile at the slack set of his mouth, his white teeth peeking out from behind his lips. He was the picture of deep sleep and she both envied his bliss and was thankful for it. A tired sigh escaped her dry lips and she struggled to her feet. As she became upright, she swayed and clutched at the wall to keep herself upright.

"Evangeline? Are you well?" Ben asked with concern, rising from his seat in the chair and stepping to her side.

Evangeline smiled wanly and nodded, taking a deep breath to stem the head rush making her feel dizzy. "I stood up too fast, that's all, Ben. Is there...is there some water?"

"Of course, of course. Come and sit, I'll get you a glass," he replied kindly, helping her to take his place in the chair. He poured a glass of cool water from the bedstand and placed the tumbler in her hand. She gulped down the entire quantity quickly then he refilled the glass and she drank at more leisure as he bent over the bed to check on the sleeping man. Ben reached out a hand and placed the back of his fingers against his son's forehead and then Adam's left cheek before trailing away to place two fingers to the throbbing skin by Adam's ear. Evangeline watched with fatigue plain in her eyes and a discouraged slumping of her carriage.

"Is he still cool to the touch?"

Ben straightened and stood staring down at his eldest. "Yes, and his pulse is very strong. I am no doctor but I would say the rest has done him good and he is rebounding. But only Paul can assess the condition of his poor back."

Hope lit Evangeline's eyes as she remembered a few of the doctor's parting words. "Yes, he seemed to think that if Adam would stay down and be quiet that perhaps he could avert disaster. Do you think that it is possible? Adam certainly has seemed to become more stable after the night."

Ben wasn't feeling so optimistic but far be it for him to dash the dear girl's desperate need to feel a bright future was on the horizon. He walked behind her chair and placed his hands on her bent shoulders. "My dear, with you beside him, there isn't anything he can't conquer."

"If only I could believe that...but I can't. He went along just fine before I met him and he would continue in fine style without me too. I just don't feel good enough to be bestowed with this gift of marriage to him. It is so much responsibility."

A groan came from the bed and Ben looked up to see Adam's head rolling lightly on the pillow, as if he was unconsciously protesting the dejected words of his loved one. Ben returned his eyes to the top of Evangeline's head as he walked around to regard her from the front. "If you really believe that, my dear, then I put it to you to ask him yourself right now. His brothers and I used to be world he clung to the most but now you are and I give you that position with all the thankfulness that I possess. I truly believe that despite all that has happened, he is the most happiest I have ever seen him. Now, you see to his comfort and I'll go see what I can rustle up for breakfast. Your father left about an hour ago to take care of some business but he will be back shortly to eat with us."

While the door shut behind Ben, Evangeline rose stiffly and sat on the edge of the bed. She kept Ben's words in mind as she watched in wonder as her fiancée came around into the waiting world. Adam's eyelids fluttered open and closed again as he too struggled at first with the bright light from the surrounding windows. Another groan passed his lips as his eyebrows drew together against the discomfort. Evangeline couldn't contain her excitement as she leaned over him and cupped his handsome face in her hands. At the light touch, Adam stilled in his fight against wakefulness and his eyes opened slowly, their hazel glory shining up at her. The sunlight caught flecks of pure gold in the pools and a smile lit his face.

He was content to remain right where he was, looking into the eyes of the woman he loved with the morning sun creating a halo over her head as it played through her loose curls that had fallen free from her prim coiffure during her brief time of slumber. He raised a hand and cupped her cheek, rubbing his thumb over her lips. Without hesitation, she leaned into his touch and kissed the fingertip. Something about that tender kiss greeting him after such a hard time before turned a key in Adam's soul that he couldn't understand. The fear from Paul's words came rushing back and threatened to drown him. He was too choked to speak and tears watered his gaze, blurring her image. In one motion, he gripped the back of her neck, pulled her down to his chest and into his arms. They clung to each other as if their very lives depended upon that one act of love and remained that way until Adam couldn't contain his emotion. His walls, so carefully built and designed over many years, were tested and their strength failed. In a roar of grief, they came crashing down upon him and he fell under their weight.

Evangeline heard the tiniest sound spark deep in his chest and when she raised her head, she was shocked to see tears flowing freely down his cheeks. He was staring at the ceiling, one arm coming up to fling across his eyes as he quietly mourned, not his present predicament though that was a threat but, no, he cried tears that he had kept concealed in the deepest recesses of his heart. The motherless little boy was momentarily loosed from his cage of iron bars and joined in with a broken man to create a cacophony of inward indignation at what had been done to them. At long last, Adam was mourning for himself and for what had been taken from him by life's cruel twists and by the evil that inhabited the world.

Evangeline didn't know what was wrong but she was overwhelmed by the anguish passing through his quaking body. Her own tears mingling with his, she slipped her hands under his shoulders and lowered her head to rest, cheek to cheek, against his face. She waited the few precious moments until his tears trickled to a standstill and as one, hers did as well. A need to console him filled her and she began raining kisses onto his face and neck, tasting the saltiness of his pain. No words could be formed in her mind, so overcome was she by the moment. He came around from the darkness fading from his soul and he only then felt the gentleness being bestowed upon himself. A smile forming across his lips, he could only lay still and open, more tired than he had remembered feeling but also strangely fulfilled. Time had no meaning, no relevance and he held Evangeline close, pressing his strong fingers into her back and burying his nose in her sweet-smelling hair. Taking his turn in cupping her face with both hands, he thumbed away the moisture coating her long eyelashes. A warmer smile twisted his lips, relaxing his face although the red skin around his eyes spoke of what had just tore through him.

"I'm sorry..."

"You have no reason to be, my darling," Evangeline sniffed, kissing his forehead and smiling at him through her tears. Despite the sleep that had been with him all night, he still looked exhausted. She sat up but still sheltered his fingers in between her hands. "You don't have to explain a thing to me. To be honest, I needed a good cry myself. I ache for you and wish that I could take away your pain but I can't."

"There isn't that much pain, my dove, and I don't want you to lose your bloom over my sake. You are too young to have less than a full man for a husband..." Adam responded, his brows furrowing as he concentrated on what was troubling him the most. He worked his hands free from her grip and instead closed his fingers around hers in a comforting cocoon. His thumbs gently rubbed the tops of her wrists and he stared at the white skin. Another wave of emotion rolled in his chest but he fought back this time, determined not to let his guard down again in such a childish manner. His eyes remained cast down and only his lips moved as he spoke.

"I'm sorry, my love...so very sorry for always shutting you out and never letting you in. Can you forgive me? I know that I can never live without you and I will never again say such a hurtful thing to you as to ask you to leave my side. You deserve every detail that I have denied you. You deserve to know all that you want to learn and you deserve my full cooperation..." his eyes blinked once, his stormy irises transitioning upward in the midst of the moistening passage of his eyelids, "At a special, quiet time when we are totally alone...I..I want to tell you things, some of them I have never told a living soul but I want to show you how much I trust you," his tender voice lowered with his next thoughts, "And the answer is 'yes'."

Evangeline's heart having sunken in despair at his first words that seemed directed at rejection of her companionship, it now soared higher than she thought possible. Her wide eyes searched his hooded orbs as she struggled to find her voice as she focused her whirling mind on the last phrase. "Wh...what?"

"You asked me to sit with you on our wedding night in front of our very own fire...the answer is 'yes'."

She couldn't believe her ears, never thinking that he had heard her pleas the night before. She lowered her head with embarrassment though she knew not why she would feel so. "I thought you were asleep..."

"I know," Adam smiled gently, using a finger to tip her chin upwards. Tracing her lovely features, he pulled her lips close to his own, hovering teasingly below her mouth. "We will be just fine, my love. We must take each day as it comes and not worry about the future. I have waited all of thirty-six years to find the woman of my dreams and now that I have, my only wish is to savor the time I have with you."

"But, Adam, the wedding may not...I mean, you might not be well enough to..."

Adam whispered a finger across her lips, following their delicate contours. "I'll be there. You think that a little scare like my old injury could keep me from you? However, I promise to do all that Pa and the doctor will have me do or not do, as the case may be. I am so glad that I was able to aid in taking down Anderson and his thugs but I also have seen the error of not taking my injury seriously. That will change."

Evangeline raised a dubious eyebrow and shook her head once with a wry smile. "I love you more than my life but you, my love, are not good at taking it easy. How do you propose to stay motivated to staying in bed like the doctor wants?"

He merely quirked an eyebrow in reply and she blushed a deep red as she realized how she quickly she had walked into his trap. He chuckled and pulled her down again to seal his promises with a tender kiss, a brief touching of their lips that sent a shudder through her body.

When Ben came back into the room with a tray of breakfast items and the doctor in tow, they both were thrilled to hear Adam's laughter and see his giddy smiles as he was being kept entertained by his fiancée. Plans for the wedding, for the preparation of the ranch and even a few teasing details from Evangeline on her wedding dress were all areas of discussion that came and went on the wings of the early morning.

Though pleased at the good spirits, Paul was quick to silence the jolly proceedings so as to look over the wounds and injuries inflicted on both of his charges. He nodded discreetly at Ben who took the hint from the doctor's signal and moved to stand by Evangeline. Adam's smile fell as reality set in once again and the old fear came back. His temporary glimpse into a secure and promised future was being threatened by the outcome of the examination, not to mention the painful prodding he was sure to receive and he felt rather helpless, he was surprised to realize. He met Evangeline's eyes. She squeezed his fingers reassuringly as she rose but then couldn't seemed to get her legs to carry her away. Most gently, she was pried from Adam's side and Ben put his arm around her shoulders as they walked out even as she anxiously looked back. Her last view was of Adam staring after her, a sly wink directed her way while the doctor and a nurse closed in on him. The door closed and all that was left to do was wait.


	23. Chapter 23

As the sun broke over the mountains and bathed the world in light, Hoss came around into consciousness. Still in the same blue chair by the now cold fireplace, he sat up slowly, grunting in discomfort when locked muscles were tested after hours in the same position. He sighed and ran a hand through his chestnut hair, Inger's inherited red highlights shining in the dawn's colors. Glancing to the settee, he observed Joe was still sound asleep with his arms cast out from side to side and his legs resting on the back of the settee; a twisted and rather acrobatic feat but not uncommon for Joe Cartwright to be found in. Hoss rose and shuffled across the space to bend over his brother. Joe's color was healthy and a faint glow had settled in his cheeks.

Another sigh escaped Hoss' mouth as he placed his right fingers fondly on top of the curly head, smoothing the unruly mop down a little only to have it bounce right back. Joe squinted, his restless eyes moving behind his eyelids. Hoss smiled, staring down at his brother and remembering frolics of old when three men used to be fun-loving boys. Come to think of it, Adam never joined in too awful much but when he did, it was great fun. Building forts, exploring mines, fishing until all hours of the morning by moonlight...such memories were priceless.

Rousing himself from his daydreams, Hoss debated waking the young man up but, in the end, decided against it. Going into the kitchen, he went about making a pot of strong coffee. He opened a drawer to retrieve a spoon and cursed softly under his breath when the entire ensemble fell out, the silverware spilling out and tinkling over the floor.

In his bedroom, Hop Sing bolted upright in bed and scrambled to grab first his dressing gown and then a sturdy cane which would be effective against an intruder's head if so needed. Sneaking to the door, he opened it and peeked out. The cane lowered and was abandoned when he saw the big man trying to go about cleaning up the mess as quietly as he could. With a smile, the cook tightened the gold sash on his robe and walked across the kitchen.

Hoss jumped when he felt a pressure on his shoulder and he looked up into slanted, kind eyes. Without a word, Hop Sing helped to clean up and also took over the making of coffee. Hoss leaned on the kitchen sink and lowered his head, his eyes closing as the ache in his heart yawned wider. A coffee cup was forced into his hand and he stared at it, the black contents within swirling lazily and sending wisps of spicy steam towards his nose. He took a sip and settled his gaze on a jar of pickled beets that suddenly seemed to be filled with the answers to the world's problems.

Hop Sing finished fidgeting with the coffee pot and came over to regard the young man who had always been both a joy to cook for and a pleasure to watch grow from an awkward, overgrown boy into the gentle man he had become. "You hungry or wanting for anything, Mista Hoss?"

Hoss looked up at the simple query and he couldn't help a smile but still shook his head. "Nah, Hop Sing. Thanks but...I think I'll jest drink my coffee and go do chores...then I got to tell the Captain, Jody and that little gal about Adam when they come down...thanks anyway."

Hop Sing's eyes crinkled sadly, his own heart aching almost beyond its capacity. He reached out a hand and the man subtly leaned into his touch. The comforting fingers, lightly scarred with past mishaps in his daily duties but still strong in their compassion, gently rubbed Hoss' back and with a final pat, dropped back to their owner's side.

"I take care of Little Joe. You go choring. Work eases worry and you get back quick for breakfast. No good facing day without strength."

Hop Sing gave one curt nod before spinning on his heel to return to his room and go through his morning ablutions so that he would be fresh and prepared for the coming troubles of the day. The smile on Hoss' face faded and he gulped down the rest of his coffee, placing the cup in the sink. With leaden steps, he walked past the dining room table and to the front door. He shrugged into his coat and reached for his ten-gallon hat. The sun greeted him with much cheer and the air was cold, crisp and contained a refreshing bite to the skin. He took a deep breath, his chest expanding until the buttons on his shirt were tested.

Footsteps approached from the side of the house and he jumped, reaching for the gun at his side. Roy laughed when he was confronted by a gunbarrel. "Whoa there, young fella! It's just me!"

"Oh, I'm terrible sorry, Roy," Hoss said as he returned the gun to its home and mentally kicked himself. "I am afraid that I was a dang fool last night too. I done forgot to tell you what happened yesterday. It slipped my mind."

Roy shrugged with a smile coming to his face, his mustache twitching in gentle amusement. "I saw you and Joe come in last night but didn't want to disturb the both of ya, it being so late and all. I have men staked out near and far on every road and trail large enough to let a rabbit pass through. Ben's got nothing to fear on the score of safety. Where is he anyway?"

Hoss took a deep breath before running through the same story he had been burdened to convey. Over the course of the next few minutes, Roy was happy to hear of the final plan's outcome but he was saddened upon hearing of Adam's precarious condition. The two men stayed in intense conversation as the chores were quickly accomplished out in the barn and still while they checked in with all of the guards and then returned to the house. Upon entering the door, it was discovered that the sleeping threesome upstairs had awakened and now Abel, Katherine and Jody were all coming down the stairs with questions coming thick and fast as to the absence of the missing Cartwrights. Joe had started to explain but was interrupted by the sheer number of queries.

The old man became irritated when answers were not as forthcoming as would be preferred. He demanded to be informed as to what was going on and grew to some rage, raising the roof in his haste to reprimand poor Joe. Having been on sufficient bed rest for the last day and a half after his assault but still fragile in mind, Jody quickly was scared and he ran to Hop Sing, leaning into the Chinaman's embrace for shelter as the adults were arguing. From the guest room, Meeker roused from a deep sleep and furrowed his eyebrows. He attempted to painfully sit up as he strained to listen the upset going on outside his sanctuary. As for Katherine, she stood by the fireplace with her eyes wide as she contemplated the countless awful things that could keep her beloved cousin from coming home, especially to her.

Joe was up to his neck trying to calm everyone down but was failing despite his best efforts. Hoss waded in and soon gained control over the room so his brother could speak. Joe was able to explain at last but if Hoss had thought that Evangeline's reaction was difficult to bear, it was nothing compared to Abel's. The old man released a strangled cry upon hearing the worst outcome and his legs appeared to buckle. When Abel's legs seemed to give out and he began to fall, both Cartwright brothers jumped forward to catch the thin body and guide Abel to Ben's red chair. The sea captain slumped to the side in the chair, burying his face in his hands and repeating Adam's name aloud in a continual stream of shock and grief. Katherine stood by, still frozen and silent, fear rooting her to the spot. Hop Sing ran for a cup of soothing tea and returned to hold the warm liquid to Abel's lips. While Abel tried to focus his attention on swallowing, his throat was not cooperating and most of the tea ended up on his shirt front. What little herbs did make it into his stomach, however, helped immensely and his breathing gradually lost its raspy quality.

Troubled by the apparent ill health of Adam's grandfather, Hoss frowned deeply as he knelt in front of Abel and placed a hand on one of the skinny knees. "Capt'n...don't take on so. Adam isn't dead or dying really. He is mostly overtired and needs rest. He..."

"Take me to him," Abel glanced up at last, steel in his eyes. "Now."

"Ya know I can't do that, sir. Besides, Pa is bringing Adam home in a few hours and neither of them would appreciate the noise that comes with extra people...and forgive me if I offend you but I don't think you are in any fit state for the long ride to town."

Abel blinked, a tinge of shame coming to his pale cheeks and he turned his face away. A tear trickled down and disappeared into the white beard. He nodded once, the only answer that was given but somehow, it was enough. A chilling atmosphere wrapped its icy fog around each person present and wormed its tendrils into each soul. Silence followed as the stage of frozen actors disbanded of one accord, rhythmically moving to separate yet intertwined modes of coping with the trial of mind and body which presented itself. Hoss, Joe and Roy hurriedly ate breakfast and prepared to ride back to town while Hop Sing set about making Abel comfortable.

Katherine was prodded into action by stern commands from the spirited cook who frankly was becoming annoyed by her lack of participation. With her help, Hop Sing fed the old man and also Jody before both fragile patients were returned to their rooms. Her next task was to sit with her grandfather, to read to him or whatever else that would keep him quiet and comfortable for the morning. When he drifted off into a troubled sleep, she sat in a stupor, unmoving, her hands listlessly lying in her lap. In the farthest corner of her brain, she was crying but the emotion was too deep to work out into the physical. She just stared, her eyes void of any feeling...and she stared...at a faded photo on the bedstand...of a little boy sitting on the knee of a proud man with black eyes. A small token of memory brought from the East by a proud grandfather.

In the examination room, the doctor was diligently probing Adam's back with methodical and, one could say, cold precision. The patient was in considerable pain but bore it without a sound coming from between his clenched teeth. Lying face down on the table, his arms above his head, Adam tried to relax with comforting thoughts of the upcoming wedding but such a pastime only helped for a few minutes before the fear returned to destroy his hopeful mood. He soon resigned himself to the harsh reality looming larger with each sharp jolt of pain that trilled up his spine and out every pore of his quivering skin.

At length, Paul stood and came around to Adam's front while the nurse gathered together a few items that would be needed for what would be done next. The pain going numb, Adam let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding the entire time. Paul placed a comforting hand on Adam's shoulder and crouched down so as to see into the young man's eyes.

"Adam, I am much cheered by your condition this morning. Although I know you are exhausted still, the sleep has done you a lot of good and your back is not as hot to the touch. Unfortunately, this is not a sign that all is well but it is heartening. There is still quite a bit of damage to deal with but if I trust what my fingers and years of experience are telling me then I think you have a very good shot at a full recovery. Not that there won't be much work involved. Now, if it is alright, I want to bring in your Pa. There are a series of massages that he or one of your brothers will have to give you twice a day. With rest and time, I believe you are in a sweet spot to regain full function."

Though more optimistic, Adam was plagued by a question he almost was too afraid to ask. "What about...Saturday? I am to be married."

"You won't be able to do anything strenuous but that shouldn't hinder the ceremony at all."

Adam began to feel panicked. "Yes, but...I mean afterwards..."

Paul's eyebrows rose as he immediately caught on where the conversation was going. He motioned to the nurse to step outside before he answered. Gazing into Adam's eyes, he felt pity upon seeing the pain and fear held within. "As a doctor, I should discourage any and all unnecessary stress but as a friend, I understand how long you have waited for a wife to call your own. So...on the condition that you try to be careful and listen to your body if you start to feel in pain then I give my blessing to follow your own judgment. But it is imperative that Evangeline learn the massage techniques as well. At the very least so that she could help make you comfortable in the case of another spasm attack which is more than likely as the muscles knit themselves back together."

Choosing to take hope, Adam nodded, the one action that didn't hurt him. "I promise to remember what you said...regardless of what I may be doing at the time."

Paul chuckled as he rose to stand again, affectionately looking down at the eldest Cartwright son. "I doubt that you will be thinking of me at certain times but you trying your best is all I ask. I trust you to not let me down. Besides that, the soon-to-be Mrs Cartwright seems more than up for the task of keeping you under her firm control in fine fashion."

That brought a smile to Adam's lips but he refrained from either agreeing or arguing. "Mrs Cartwright...Mrs Adam Cartwright..." he rotated his eyes up to meet the doctor's again, "Doc, I don't think that I will ever get tired of hearing that. Sometimes, I still don't know what she sees in me."

Rolling his eyes, Paul snorted. "If you don't know then you are not nearly as smart as you have everyone fooled. Now, if you are ready, I am going to call Nurse Midler back in along with Ben and Evangeline. As soon as I show them what to do then you can be put on a wagon for the ride home. How does that sound?"

"Let's get this over with," Adam sighed, his hands tightening on the table's edge as he was left alone for the next few moments. His stomach churned at the thought of what was to come. He hated the thought of Evangeline to be present but also appreciated that she would be adamant to learn. He sighed again, his fingers relaxing this time. It felt strange to give over the outcome of his well-being to her hands but he also felt contented in knowing that he could trust her with his life and, more surprising, with his heart. Memories of Regina, Sue Ellen, Ruth and the other women who had spent a short time on his arm were distant and only Evangeline's angelic face came to mind.


	24. Chapter 24

The doctor's office lobby had been the scene of more than one dramatic outpouring of both Cartwright grief and joy over the years but today, the walls were witnessing only confusion and worry. As Adam was examined behind locked doors, Ben and Evangeline could only remain close to one another while the minutes ticked by. At some quiet point amid the clicking of the clock, Frank returned from his business and slipped in the door. A brief pang of jealousy passed through him upon observing Ben with his arm around Evangeline but the feeling soon passed when she rose to move into his arms.

"Poppa..."

"Hush now, my dearest one...come here," Frank whispered, kissing her forehead and hugging her to his chest.

Ben watched with a tired smile, happy for her that her father was turning out to be the kind of man she could be proud of and lean on in times of trouble. Sitting back, Ben leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He was so tired and as it was, he couldn't seem to remember what sleep felt like. Soft whispers wafted to his ears from father and daughter as he began to drift away but then a door opened and he nearly jumped out of his skin. He bolted upright in his chair, shaking his head to try and clear the fog away. The doctor came to him, bending down to place a hand on his friend's arm.

"Ben, we need you. Do you have enough strength to help?" Paul's eyes were clouded and unsure.

"Of course. Anything you need...how's Adam?"

"As well as could be expected but I am afraid his pain isn't going to go away until we can get his back loosened up and he has time to heal. Regardless, I think he will make a full recovery in time."

Evangeline rose to her feet with excitement, relief and any number of other emotions passing over her face. "Is he still awake? Can I see him? Oh, I have to see him..."

"Hold on, young woman, you can see Adam very soon but, first, I have something to ask of you. I would like to have you help Ben and I with him. It won't be pleasant but I feel you need to learn the massage techniques required to help him in case of another spasm attack after your marriage. Are you willing to learn?"

Even as the doctor spoke, Evangeline was nodding impatiently. "Absolutely, Doctor, I will do whatever needs doing to make Adam comfortable. You know that. When do we start?

The three men glanced at each other with smiles being exchanged. Paul gently grasped Evangeline's elbow and motioned toward the previously forbidden door. "You can go in first and see him, we will follow soon."

Frank stepped closer and made sure to give his daughter one last warm hug. He held her at arm's length and gripped her shoulders lightly. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"Thank you, Poppa...but I feel I need a minute or two alone with him. You do understand, don't you?"

"Of course, my pet," Frank smiled, "Go on and be with your young man. But remember that I will be right out here if you need me."

Evangeline lifted a hand to cup her father's bearded face as she kissed his cheek. Looking deeply into his eyes, she turned to go and walked away. She knocked quietly on the door and entered, tiptoeing in an effort of not disturbing her love. Concentrating on the doorknob and making sure it didn't creak upon closing, she didn't see him until she turned around. A breath caught in her throat but she steadied herself at the sight of Adam lying face down, his arms resting above his head and with only a thick blanket covering him from the waist down. His bare back and the old scars marring its smooth surface once again made her heart lurch with pain as it had that day in his bedroom. Her racing pulse pounded in her ears, so badly that she had to concentrate when his deep voice broke the still air.

"Ah, there she is," Adam said softly, turning his head so that he could see her out of his peripheral vision, "Come closer, will you, my dear? I'm afraid I am under strict instructions not to move until told otherwise."

Pasting a smile on her face, Evangeline strode forward and was beside him instantly. Her left hand ran along the side of his head while her right fingers closed tightly around both of his hands. He smiled up at her, his bright eyes beckoning as she leaned down to trace a finger along the curves of his mouth.

"How are you holding up, my love?" she asked in a whisper, letting her hand drift to his shoulder. He shivered and she frowned. "Are you cold? What do you need?"

"I am a little chilled but that isn't important. Did...did Paul talk with you about what he is planning to do?"

"Yes," she replied hesitantly, "He and your father are waiting outside with the nurse while I came to see you...Adam?"

"Hmmm..." Adam grunted as he closed his eyes, enjoying her presence and feeling better already.

Reaching for a blanket, Evangeline opened her mouth to say what was on her mind but then she couldn't seem to be able to put into words all the emotion she was feeling. Instead, she focused on covering his shoulders with the fabric. "Nothing...I'll...I'll tell you later. Are you sure I can't get you anything else?"

"Some water would be great if it isn't too much bother."

She laughed softly as she poured a small amount of water and helped him to drink it, cradling the back of his head with one hand while holding the glass to his lips. She smiled lovingly down upon him as he concentrated on swallowing carefully. "You are never a bother. Well, not anymore than would be expected from a stubborn thing like you."

Adam grinned for the first time. "Naturally. I hope all of this drama hasn't scared you. I'm sorry for all of this fuss, it is my own fault. I know that. I haven't thought of you."

Pausing in her fussing of the blanket so that it would stay, she straightened and placed a hand on the back of his head again, this time stroking the soft hair and watching it run through her fingers. In her wildest dreams, she never could have known how much love she could contain for this one man. Her voice was slightly choked as she spoke, "You were helping your family and trying to do everything all at once like usual. You were being yourself and I hope you never feel you have to apologize to me for that."

The tender moment was broken. The door opened and Ben and Paul entered with the nurse bustling in to prepare the patient. When the upper blanket was going to be removed, Evangeline instinctively prevented it by placing her hands on Adam's shoulders to secure it again. Full of dread herself, she wanted to protect him and Nurse Midler recognized this tenderness with a sympathetic smile. She placed a hand on Evangeline's arm when a look of panic crossed on the other woman's face. "Everything will be just fine, Miss Williams. The sooner we begin, the sooner you all can go home and get some rest."

"That's right," Paul agreed, tactfully removing the offending blanket and also lending his gentle smile. "Mindy, can you began the massage routine?"

The nurse reached for a bottle of oil that had been warmed in the sun for a long period of time. She directed all of her attentions on Adam as she drizzled a good amount on his back. "Adam, I know the muscles are very sore and weak but do your best not to tense up, alright? I am going to start with a firm kneading of the lumbar set, Doctor..."

Slowly but with firm strokes, the nurse taught Ben and Evangeline the proper way to soothe the angry muscles. Adam was watched carefully for signs of undue pain but he bore up well. The discomfort wasn't quite as bad as he thought it would be and as the massage grew deeper, he began to feel the difference it was making. Once the nurse had loosened him up sufficiently, it was Ben's turn to practice. He quickly caught on to the rhythm and was even able to share a few laughs with his son when he found, quite by accident, a ticklish spot on Adam's side.

During this time, Evangeline grew nervous as to feel sick to her stomach but hid it as she stepped up for her turn. Her hands poised over Adam's spine, she glanced down to see him watching her with a twinkle in his eye. He winked and inclined his head knowingly, closing his eyes in surrender. Heartened by the contented sigh that escaped him at her first touch, she followed the directions given her and began to allow her hands to glide quickly over his sore back. More than once through the natural course of his body's reaction, he would bite back a gasp, trying to contain the fresh pain. But Evangeline could feel the tension rip through him during such times. Tears would prick her eyes but she continued until both medical professionals pronounced the massage to be complete. While glad to be finished, she still was proud of herself that she had learned yet another portion of medical training that would be worth its weight in gold during the coming days.

"Well done, all of you!" Paul exclaimed, most happy at the success of the morning. "Hoss and Joe should be coming soon. I officially release Adam into your good care. What do you say to that, young man?"

Adam nodded painfully as he was helped to sit up by his father on one side and Evangeline on the other, his modesty being achieved by the blanket being quickly tied about his waist by Ben. "A soft bed sounds wonderful, if I do say so myself," he glanced to his love, "I don't expect you to come to the ranch now if you have other responsibilities."

"Don't be silly, you couldn't get rid of me any more than your pa."

"But the restaurant..."

"...is in good hands," Frank said from the doorway, a grin on his face, "That was the business I took care of earlier. I hired or should I say stole two of the best cooks in Virginia City to help Elvira so that you won't have to lift a finger unless you want to, my dear."

"Poppa, I hate for you to spend your money on me...I can manage somehow."

Frank merely laughed, casting a proud gaze down upon his only child. "Nonsense. My money is yours to use and I have never spent it on a more worthy cause. Why don't you simply thank your old father before he dies of loneliness."

Evangeline smiled through her tears, throwing herself into Frank's arms. "Thank you, thank you...I was worried about how to be with Adam while still working. You've given us the answer! I love you, Poppa."

"And I you..." Frank intoned, drawing back to thumb away the moisture on her cheeks, "Focus on your happy day to come and leave the rest to me."

Having watched the exchange in glad silence, Adam added, "Thank you, Frank, she could use all the support she can get. Isn't that right, my love?"

Evangeline giggled as she returned to Adam's side, his arm settling around her waist securely. "Perhaps both of us can let the past go at last and move into the future together."

"I can't wait," Adam whispered hoarsely, speaking in a low, husky tone. The phrase sent chills up Evangeline's backbone, the cold spreading out into a warmth that covered her body. Their eyes met and locked into one, the intricate puzzle of their desires moving together into the finished picture of entwined hearts. The physical world melted away and only left Adam staring into the face of his beloved and her doing the same.

The obvious infatuation between the couple quickly made the three men more than uncomfortable and out of place. Ben raised his eyes to the ceiling and rocked back on his heels to appear nonchalant. Frank shifted from foot to foot. Paul cleared his throat discreetly and looked to his compatriots hopefully.

"Well, I think a cup of coffee would do me good. Would you two gentlemen care to join me while the lovebirds talk?"

"Yes!" Frank exclaimed, relief clear in his face. Slapping the other man on the back, Ben laughed as he moved to follow but was pulled by a strong hand closing around his bicep. He glanced up and was met by Adam regarding him.

"I don't know how to thank you, Pa, for everything you have done for me," Adam said, a slightest catch in his deep voice, "Someday, I'll find a way. I promise."

A smile lifted the tired corners of Ben's mouth and he covered the hand with his own, his fingers brushing across Adam's. "There is never a need for that, Son...getting you married will be enough."

His eldest son's merry chuckle and flashing grin followed Ben out of the door and he paused in the hall to savor the surge of energy; a blessed change from the exhaustion turning every thought into the one goal of finding a bed to fall into. He shook his head with amusement. What a day it had been already and the sun was barely over the mountains. With a sigh, he rubbed his neck to ease the ache while going in search of the promised coffee. Who needs sleep anyway when one had such sons as his? This latest malady to hit the family had further proven to him that his boys would always need him, in one capacity or another...and his heart was soothed.


	25. Chapter 25

Once they were alone at last, Adam turned his head to Evangeline with the grin still firmly on his face, as if it would be a permanent fixture from then on. Suddenly feeling shy, she didn't say a word but averted her eyes as she gathered up a dry towel and moved behind him. With the greatest of care, she removed the excess oil from his skin, careful not to press too hard. Waiting for the right moment, Adam let her do this and also refrained from speaking until she finished. He seized his chance. Capturing one of her hands, he pulled her into his arms suddenly when she tried to walk away. She struggled at first, overwhelmed by being pressed against his bare chest and having his dark eyes make tracks over her face, as if he was trying to memorize every detail of her features.

"Adam, we mustn't, it isn't proper and you know it," she whispered half-heartedly but was ignored, her protests becoming muffled in his mouth. Giving up, she allowed herself to be carried away on a cloud of bliss, lost in him and his loving grip. Her hands ran over his shoulders, moving to clasp behind his neck, her head tilting to meet his kiss at a fresh angle. A moan broke from her lungs and she tickled her fingers down his chest slowly, feeling the coarse hair and smiling when he shivered. Breaking apart at last, she kept her eyes closed as Adam's touch left. She felt a soft caress on her chin and opened them in time to see him kissing the skin just below her bottom lip. Then he glanced up slowly and the love shining from his hazel orbs made her legs go weak. As his lips found her ear, she leaned her head back and sighed, her fingers lightly caressing his elbows.

"Oh, Adam, what would have become of me if I hadn't found you?"

He chuckled, his hot breath at her throat causing her to be the one to shiver. "You never have to imagine such a life because I'm here...I'm here...I'm here...I am...here."

Each repetition was punctuated by feathery kisses that traveled across her cheeks, her nose, to her forehead and back down to her mouth. His name left her lips in a whisper as Adam leaned close for one more kiss. When he did drop his arms to rest back against the table, his grin had returned. Quite flushed, Evangeline leaned against him for a short time, happy to be given his full attention once again after so many other concerns had stolen it for the last two days. She drew back in time and he cupped her face within large but infinitely gentle hands.

"I've missed you, Angie...oh, God, but I wish I could marry you right now, this very second, this same breath. I am tired of holding you and being called improper. My love for you is pure. I am sick of waiting."

Her eyes narrowing in thought, Evangeline found the courage to say what she had wanted to earlier. She enveloped him in a hug, cuddling close and resting her forehead in the crook of his neck. "Why do we have to wait, my darling? Tell me because I see no good reason to remain apart. I want to get married today."

Adam's eyes widened from over her shoulder. He drew back, looking square into her honest, innocent eyes. "What are you suggesting? We can't...can we? No, it's impossible. What about the guests? And the ceremony at our special spot on the cliff? And your dress that you were so excited about...and your father..."

"No, darling, no, now listen, listen. We don't need to have a wedding right now, just Pastor Hogan to officiate. In time, when you are healed and we are settled at the Running J then we could have a proper ceremony with the party and all the trimmings. I will still wear my dress, of course, for the vows and Poppa can give me away. The guests...well, most of them are local so we can let them know in a hurry. The few out-of-towners may have to settle for sampling local color before returning home."

"You have an answer for everything, don't you?" Adam chuckled, his head dipping to kiss her quickly. With careful movements, he stood on shaky legs. Instead of addressing the former conversation, he focused on walking. "Could you help me behind the changing screen? I really should get totally decent before we continue discussing this."

A little confused and put out at his diverting tactics, Evangeline nevertheless assisted him in his wishes. After Adam was settled in an armchair, she collected his clothes and handed them to him though she kept the black shirt for herself so as to hold the garment while he shrugged it on. He buttoned the fabric together. Without a word, she left him to his dressing and stepped outside, casting a silhouette on the screen as she waited anxiously. Adam paused in his task and studied the feminine shadow, his uncertainty pulling his resolve to and fro. While elated at the thought of being a husband before nightfall, he also had been looking forward to giving her a beautiful day she would never forget. The fight was strong in him but he soon made his decision. His mind made up, he struggled into his jeans and did up his belt. Then he sat perplexed, staring at his boots and having no worldly idea how to put them on. A few minutes passing in silence, his fiancée soon grew irritable.

"Are you decent yet?" Evangeline's impatient voice drifted through to his ears.

"Yes, but I can't seem to be able to reach my boots. A little help?"

Rolling her eyes, she popped around into sight, an amused smile replacing the frown upon viewing Adam's bare feet and embarrassed expression. Shaking her head and laughing softly, she knelt in front of him and took his left foot into her gentle grasp. "I declare you are as bad as a newborn babe at times," she teased, enjoying the blush that tinted his cheeks as she rolled on his sock followed by the offending boot. Finishing with the other set, she returned his second leg to rest on the floor and looked up when his hand touched her hair.

Adam smiled and pulled her up. "Come here."

Once she was nestled on his lap, he laid her head on his shoulder and begin softly, "I am touched that you would be so willing to give up the wedding on my account and I am sorely tempted. The thought of having you as my wife before the night is out drives me crazy. I want to say yes but..."

"But? But what? What is there to talk about? I want to be your wife. I don't understand why you are being so stubborn about my wishes."

Her voice was sullen and she made to stand up but he held her fast, raising her chin so that her eyes were focused on his. " _ **But**_ _,_ from now on, you are my first priority and that responsibility starts with a proper wedding. I feel I have been a sorry protector and that changes from this minute forward. Our wedding will not be a slipshod affair and not containing any sacrifice from you. Look at me," he commanded in a whisper. She obeyed and met his gaze again. His fingers caressed her cheek and she found herself mesmerized; frozen and aching to hear his voice again. He continued, "I want a day in which you fully realize how much I cherish you...how much I adore you and the extent to which you can put your full trust in me. You have done so much and gone through so much over the last month, most you shouldn't have had to endure. Allow me the pleasure of taking the lead for your well-being. I have told you that I trust you completely and I need to show you now that you can feel the same towards me. Please? Will you let me treasure you, angel?"

Tears coursed down Evangeline's cheeks, sobs overtaking her and she collapsed against his chest. Confused and guilty, Adam could only kiss away the droplets as they appeared and then vanished under his tenderness. When she calmed and was still, he didn't know what to say so remained silent, holding her tight against himself and resting the side of her head upon hers. At length, she moved only enough to send her fingers in search of his nearest hand. Upon finding it, she brought it between them and kissed each knuckle slowly, the last of her tears falling on his palm as she turned his hand over. Looking up into his eyes, she used both her small hands to close his fingers into a fist. He kept her gaze on her face, unsure of what was happening. Smiling through the misty haze, she pressed her cheek against the fist.

"You have always had my trust and my heart. Is there anything more to be said, dearest one? _"_

Adam looked mystified until a beautiful smile grew, his dimples appearing to greet her. "Can I kiss you now, woman?"

"I thought you would never ask..." Evangeline giggled through her tears as she was enveloped by the power of his love. Something in the kiss felt different this time, better and even more fulfilling, if that was indeed possible. Neither partner was keen to return to the real world but the time soon came when there was a knock on the door.

"Adam?" Ben's voice sifted through, "Hoss and Joe are here with the wagon. You ready for me to help you outside?"

Still gazing into Evangeline's eyes, Adam sighed and she nodded in resignation. He couldn't resist one last kiss, then she left his lap and helped him to his feet. Steadying himself on her arm, he stood straight and turned to the closed door. "Sure, Pa, come on in. We were only talking while we waited."

Ben entered and a snarky grin appeared when he noticed Evangeline's reddened cheeks as she stood by his son's side. "I am sure that 'talking' was all you were doing, boy. Adam, after being married three times, do you think I don't know what a woman who has been kissed looks like?"

"I...uh...well, I..." Adam stammered and looked at Evangeline, their guilty eyes meeting.

"Hurry up, you two," Ben demanded though his eyes twinkled merrily, "You have the rest of your lives for cooing over each other."

"Yes, sir," Adam laughed, a joyful sound that filled the room with emotional light.

"Put your arm around me, son...that's it, take you time. We have all day if need be. Don't rush now."

Step by tentative step, Adam was assisted by his father out the door, Evangeline staying close and fretting the whole way. His brothers were waiting by the wagon and Joe lit up upon seeing his eldest brother. Hoss hung back, a small smile on his face but more reserved than he should have been. Ben noticed but didn't comment just yet, having his hands full already. He decided to wait and try to speak to his middle boy on the way home.

On the other hand, Joe was thrilled to be innocently in the moment, happy to have his family together again. He jumped down from the wagon seat and took Adam's free arm. "I see you're still in one piece, older brother. Should have known you are too dang pig-headed to be kept down for long!"

Adam cast his eyes over Joe's body, his troubled gaze settling on the purple bruises adorning the younger man's face and neck. His hand reached out to turn Joe's head for a clearer view and the ugly sight turned his stomach. His hand moved to settle on his brother's slim shoulder.

"I'm sorry about that, Joe. I should have predicted how treacherous the gang was and not have let you go off by yourself."

Joe blinked, surprised at the tender tone of his brother's words. Adam wasn't one to allow his true emotions to surface often but he seemed to be becoming more prone to doing just that of late. This was new and a little disconcerting. Growing uncomfortable, Joe merely mumbled a dismissal and wrapped Adam's arm around his shoulders to help him to the back of the wagon. Scores of pillows and blankets had been arranged on the wooden bed for comfort and Adam was soon nestled atop the soft mess. Evangeline climbed in next to him, sitting against the side so she could hold his hand in her lap. Smiles and whispers were exchanged, fingers entwining and touching discreetly.

While Frank and Joe took their places at the foot of the wagon so they could rest and Hoss made ready to drive home with Ben seated next to him on the wagon seat, Paul peered in at his patient. The kind doctor smiled. "Adam, I see you are in possession of the best medicine a man could have so I leave you in her care. Evangeline? Do you think you can keep him in hand?"

Evangeline glanced down at Adam and squeezed his fingers. "I don't think that he will be much more trouble. Will you?"

Adam chuckled and nodded at Paul. "I'll be the picture of obedience, Doc. Thank you for all you did. We all thank you."

"As always, it wasn't a pleasure to treat you but I am glad that I could be of some help. I'll be out tomorrow to check on your progress."

Nurse Midler came up to say goodbye and Evangeline smiled warmly. "Thank you, Mindy, I would love to get together some time for tea. You helped me keep a level head in there and I am very appreciative. If there is anything I can ever do for you, please let me know."

The young woman blushed prettily and nodded, shaking Evangeline's hand tentatively, rather awed by the grace and kindness of her peer. Her eyes drifted to Adam Cartwright and she felt a wave of envy but fought to banish it because a respect for Miss Williams had sprouted in her heart. A man like the eldest Cartwright son was exactly the right match for the strong, beautiful daughter of a rich businessman. Mindy only hoped that one day, she would find a man who looked at her in such a manner, as if he couldn't live a moment without her. Sighing with a dreamy smile, the nurse returned to the office and watched from a window as the wagon rumbled down the street and with a final look, she returned to her duties. A song came to her mind and before she knew it, she was humming to herself. Engrossed in her daydreams, she quietly went about changing the mussed sheets on the bed which had belonged to Adam when she found a beautiful white bonnet under it. She gasped as she drew it out, admiring the fluttering pink silk attachment. Immediately, she knew who the owner was. Folding it neatly, she put it to the side and resolved to visit the Ponderosa later that day, after her shift was over. A ride through fresh air and beautiful countryside might be just the thing to clear her head of all these lonely thoughts.


	26. Chapter 26

On the road home, Hoss remained silent and apart from the merriment taking place in the back of the wagon. Frank was regaling the Cartwrights with tales of his boxing days which brought more than one round of chuckles to those present, especially Evangeline who had never heard much what he was conveying. The laughter trickling up to Hoss' ears from his loved ones brought comfort to his weary heart but too many troubling thoughts kept him from truly becoming involved. Joe offered to drive on more than one occasion as did Frank but both men were quietly refused each time. At length, Ben asked for the horses stopped so he could climb up and sit with his middle son. As the team was instructed to continue by a light flick of Hoss' hands on the reins, Ben worked out a way to find out what was causing his son's melancholy.

"Hoss? You seem a mite down in the mouth today. Do you care to tell me about what's troubling you?"

Hoss stared at the bobbing heads of the horses and didn't respond, choosing to prolong the silence. He knew he should tell his pa about the incident earlier that day with the captain but he was tongue-tied. He also felt a growing sense of irritation that it always seemed to fall upon him to give bad news. Realizing that his father was still waiting for an answer, Hoss shrugged, pulling on the reins slightly so as to go over a hard rut in a careful fashion; it wouldn't do to jiggle Adam over much.

"Something happened this morning and I don't rightly know how to tell you or Adam 'bout it..."

Concerned, Ben glanced into the back and down at the back of Adam's head as another round of laughter broke from a stray comment by Evangeline. Leaning in closer to Hoss, Ben lowered his voice, "Go on...what should we know?"

"Well, I had to tell everybody about Adam and the captain got real upset. I swear he went as white as a ghost, shaking and almost fallin' down. Hop Sing brought him around quick enough with a cup of hot tea and he was sleeping when I left but it just made me worry. He's no spring chicken and Adam has been worried about his health too. He told me so the night our visitors came."

Not quite sure how to react, Ben shook his head and studied the mountainous horizon, a wispy waterfall creating a fog among a far stand of spruce pines. "He could have been only upset at finding out about Adam. Yesterday, when you were collecting the men together before we left, I got my head bit off because I made the mistake of bringing up Adam's fall of last year."

"Didn't he know already?"

"Apparently not as I found out in a hurry. I thought that Adam would have told him but he didn't and Abel was very agitated. He blamed me for not keeping his only grandson safe."

Hoss snorted in disbelief. "Then he doesn't know Adam one bit. Since when can Older Brother be forced into anything he doesn't want to? He shouldn't have gone to the house that day to work alone. The first rule of climbing heights is never do it by yourself and always have somebody to spot ya."

Ben didn't have much of a comment, only sighing with exasperation. "Regardless, Abel set into me like I had pushed Adam from that ladder myself. I was shamed, to be honest."

Anger clouded Hoss' bright-blue eyes. "He had no right, Pa. Where was he when Adam had to be nursed back to health time after time after time? Where was he when you, me and Joe found Adam dragging a dead body through the desert and out of his head? The captain wasn't there neither when we had to watch my brother near ripped limb from limb later by the memory of what that demon had done to him out there. Nearly four years ago and he's only just now gettin' past it, I think."

Gulping against the knot that had formed in his throat, Ben struggled to clear his mind of those memories. "I hope that the shock was what what caused Abel's loss of composure and not something more serious. I will have Paul check him out tomorrow when he comes to see Adam. Maybe we'll get some answers," Ben looked into Hoss' face and smiled, grasping his son's forearm, "Thank you for telling me, son. I can always depend on you to give it to me straight. I probably don't say this often enough but I appreciate that, more than you know."

Touched by those words of praise, Hoss was able to relax and enjoy the rest of the trip in quiet conversation with his father as the horses pulled ever onward. Behind the twosome on the wagonseat, Joe became deep in the grip of a thrilling story of a particularly life-threatening boxing match. Perhaps adding a bit more exaggeration than he should have, Frank was enjoying the company of his wilder days and so was quite animated.

Evangline smiled fondly, reclining back against Adam's chest. His arms wrapped around her waist securely and she felt him kiss the top of her head. Contentment washed over her, filling her heart to running over. Watching her father, seeing his smile, hearing his laugh and then feeling the warmth from her beloved's body as he held her, she closed her eyes. The lovely vision of her mother, a sweet smile gracing her delicate mouth as she leaned over a little girl's bed, passed on the blank canvas of Evangeline's eyelids and a pain stabbed her heart. She shifted uncomfortably and turned her face to settle into Adam's neck. Breathing in the comforting scent of him, she tried to move sad thoughts far from her consciousness.

"What is your favorite color, Adam?"

Adam turned his attention from listening to Frank's tale and looked down at his love, lowering his mouth to nuzzle her ear. He thought for a moment and made his choice. "Green."

"Green," Evangeline's voice had a strange, faraway edge, "Why is green your favorite color?"

"It is the color of life."

"How so?"

A warm laugh rumbled in Adam's chest. "Why the interrogation, love?"

"I wish to know. You have never told me such small things as this about yourself and also...I feel the need to hear your voice."

Adam smiled and cleared his throat rather self-consciously. "Well, I would have to say that green is my favorite because it is the color of spring grass and of every other fragile plant under the sun. It is the color of ponderosa pines, of Lake Tahoe on a bright day and it is also the color of the green cloak you are wearing and the leaves on our wild violets. What is your choice of color?"

Evangeline smiled to herself. "That is easy. Black."

"And why is that?" Adam asked playfully.

"It reminds me of you. Black is a complicated color yet not really a color at all, isn't it? It is more than that. It is dark, mysterious, elegant and rare yet more abundant and overlooked than any other. I love black because it is the result of all colors working together to form harmony," she tilted her head up so to meet his hazel gaze, "I love it because you wear it so often. Which reminds me, why do you gravitate towards black clothing?"

Adam shrugged, never having put much thought into the matter. "I got tired of buying shirts that would be stained and ruined within weeks. Black is an easy color to wear and hides most things. I guess, I also have become increasingly lazy as I grow older when it comes to such matters as picking out outfits daily. When I wake, I like to be dressed quickly and ready for the day, not dithering between different garments for no apparent reason except for what others may think of my choice. When we're married, maybe you can cure me and mold me into a more colorful personality. Are you satisfied now? Why all the questions about such trivial matters?"

"I was only curious," she smiled, her hand coming to tickle his right wrist. Counting the strong beats of his pulse throbbing in his limb, she took a thankful yet shaky breath at the feeling of so much life coursing through him. "I wish Momma could be here. In perfect times like this, I miss her so much."

Adam's eyes took on a shine and closed as he held her tight. "I understand..."

At those two words, Evangeline looked back up into his solemn face filled with a sorrowed shadow. Remembering the motherly love he had lost at all three vulnerable stages of his childhood, she was certain that he did indeed understand. "I know you do. Every day makes me realize more and more how alike we are. Only you can see into my innermost thoughts. Momma would have loved you as the son she never had."

"I would hope so but I wouldn't flatter myself to presume," he commented, pausing as she giggled softly, "Tell me about her...what was she like?"

Evangeline moved her gaze to the fluffy clouds floating past in the sky and she put her mind back to happier times. "She loved flowers and quiet nights at home but she also could never resist a party invitation. She liked to cook, oh, and shoes! You have never met a woman who loved shopping for clothes like my mother did. Poppa used to complain about the bills coming in, not that they were overly extravagant but he is one to bluster. He didn't really mind though, you know...he only liked to get her riled once in awhile, I think. Her eyes would snap and her mouth would be pulled down into the darkest scowl but how beautiful would she shine when she smiled at last. I loved her dearly but we didn't always get along. She would yell, I would be difficult...if I only knew what I know now...I would have let her win every single time."

Adam felt a shudder pass through her and tears obscured her voice as she seemed to struggle to continue. He leaned his mouth back to her ear. "It's alright, beloved...you have nothing to be guilty for. I haven't treated Pa right either on more than one occasion and he hasn't recognized my need for independence at other times. But we always have gotten through the trials. Parents and their children disagree, it is the way of things but healthy relationships need a little bit of strife now and then in order to grow stronger. You can't blame yourself."

"I know that in my head but it is taking my heart a little longer to catch up," she sighed, a slump dragging down the confident set of her shoulders.

Adam frowned then he turned her slightly so he could look full into her face. Without a word, his eyes sympathized while the corner of his mouth lifted in a smile of the same. Nothing more needing to be said, she leaned against him again and he slipped his arms around her waist once more as the two of them fell into comfortable silence. The wagon continued to rumbled toward the Ponderosa, its occupants each in his or her own thoughts until the ranch house soon came into view.

I* * * * *I

Deep in troubled thought, Katherine was broken from her numbed state by the sound of horse hooves clip-clopping into the yard. She rose slowly and walked stiffly to the window, drawing the curtain back. Her heart quickened when she watched Adam being helped from the wagon by Joe but a frown settled on her pretty mouth when Evangeline climbed down and took Adam's other arm in a gentle grip as the group disappeared under the porch roof. Allowing the curtain to fall back into place, Katherine's eyes were blank as she eased herself back into her seat by Abel's bed. She returned her stare to her grandfather's face, transitioning her gaze down to alight on his weathered hand resting limply on the blanket. Reaching out with both hands, she slipped down to kneel by the bedside. Her fingers curled around Abel's hand and she brought it to her lips for a kiss and laid it back down.

There she stayed, sure of her duty and doubtful of her obsession over someone who would be, sadly, forever beyond her grasp. Tears pricked her eyes and a pair of silver twins slid down her cheeks. Now, if only she could find the courage to apologize for a horrible mistake that she feared had driven her dearest friend out of her life. What a stupid fool she had been...she only hoped she hadn't realized her flaws too late.


	27. Chapter 27

Down in the great room, Adam was brought in and settled in his favorite blue chair before a warm fire and immediately found himself in the middle of activity and pampering. Hop Sing scuddled to and fro, sticking pillows behind Adam's back and covering his legs with a blanket before the little man disappeared into the kitchen to make a cup of his famous tea for the patient. Jody didn't take long to wake and come running down the stairs, straight into Adam's lap and sending a peal of laughter radiating into the house and through its occupants. Hoss found a few minutes to take care of the horses and returned in time for lunch to be served by a relieved Hop Sing who was enjoying his family being under the same roof and around the dining room table at the same time.

Adam inquired as to the absence of his grandfather and Katherine but was told by the cook that the captain was sleeping and "Missy" wasn't hungry. Something more was going on, Adam suspected but chose to keep quiet about his worries and enjoy the delicious meal with his love sitting beside him on one side and Jody grinning up at him on the other. Adam smiled back at the boy and also found Evangeline's hand under the table, giving it a light squeeze. She caught his eye and returned the smile, adding a sly wink that made his heartrate increase. A sigh escaped his lungs, beyond his notice, but was heard by those present. All eyes turned in his direction as he tucked into the plate of wholesome food before him. Unaware of the observation, he picked out his first bite and then turned to engage Jody in a lively exchange of views on favorite desserts.

Ben smiled to himself as he enjoyed the meal, the company and, most of all, the light chatter filtering between his boys and the Williams. His attention was captured by young Jody who seemed to be his usual self, sticking to Adam's side like glue and hanging on the man's every word. Though healing in body, Jody had a long mental recovery ahead of him and Ben worried about how that could affect Adam's emerging marriage. Still, throughout the course of dinner, he was reminded that Adam plainly adored his charge and if he had doubts then he wasn't letting on. Ben focused on his eldest, black eyes taking in the signs of a happy man. The relaxed set of Adam's shoulders, the white grin which surfaced frequently and the softening of his eyes when he looked at Evangeline or Jody. The father sighed as he renewed eating the succulent steak on his plate. Trivial problems should be put aside by sheer force of will for the time being. After all, his boys were alive and, though two of them were battered about, all three were laughing and joking again. Ben prayed that no more pain would come to his family for a long time to come.

He was brought out of his thoughts by Hop Sing placing a magnificent chocolate cake on the table, causing Jody to let loose with a delighted squeal. After proper praise and admiration had been directed the artist's way, pieces of the moist confection were passed around and devoured in due course. Coffee was served in front of a roaring fire and soon, each diner was settled comfortably in a chair of preference. Frank, Joe and Hoss reclined on the settee, Ben eased into his red armchair and Adam found refuge in his customary blue chair. Though Joe offered his seat to Evangeline, she much preferred to sit on the floor by Adam's side, leaning her shoulder against his thigh and resting her head on his knee if the inclination rose in her from time to time. Jody took the more direct approach. Sleepy from having a bellyful of nourishing food, he was warmly received onto Adam's lap again where he promptly fell asleep, safe and content in the embrace of the one man he trusted more than any other alive. The adults discussed matters of no importance all the way to the problem that wormed its way to the forefront. The task of deciding where first Frank and Evangeline should sleep, which was quickly overcome by Ben's insistence they take two of the upstairs guest rooms, then opinions began to fly as into which room Adam should sleep in to minimize strain on his back.

"Allowed" was the correct word, in fact, as Adam soon found out. He opted for his own room, wanting the comfort of his private things and familiar bed but the common argument was that he shouldn't be going up and down the stairs twice daily. He fell silent after that, realizing that he didn't have any choice in the end so decided to not care. The obvious option among his family and betrothed was the downstairs guest room but then there was the issue of George Meeker still recovering in solitude behind the door. According to Hop Sing, the man was able to be up and around a little, enough to be moved to a new location if need be. Frank went so far as to suggest, tactfully, that Meeker should be taken to town and given a hotel room or perhaps a comfortable jail cell. To his family's surprise, Adam broke his silence, speaking out strongly against kicking the wounded man out of the house to fend for himself.

"But, Adam, I thought you disliked him. Why all the cozy feelings now?" Joe wondered, regarding his older brother with arms crossed over his chest.

Adam was strangely quiet as he sought to catch Hoss' eye from across Jody's head and the coffee table. "Someone reminded me that Meeker or George is a human being and deserves our respect. Everything he told me about Lem Dudley came true and I have no reason to not give him the benefit of the doubt now. I have no problem with offering him a room in town but I'd like to let him choose," he glanced down at the slumbering Jody and grimaced before addressing the room again, "Could you trust me on this? Because it is better to have him as a guest instead of a prisoner. I have something to tell you all later but not now where little ears can hear."

Hoss smiled, returning the discreet nod Adam directed his way. The big man was relieved and pleased that he seemed to have gotten through to his brother and that Adam didn't appear to harbor any ill feelings about their tangle in the washroom. Ben's eyes narrowed, knowing exactly what the complication was but not wanting to let on that he knew of Meeker's connection with the boy so he nodded in approval. "Alright, son, you have to go with your gut. It's your call."

"Thanks, Pa," Adam smiled, grateful that he would be able to break the news calmly instead of being forced into it, "And perhaps Hoss can help me up and down the stairs if I need it. How 'bout it, brother? Do you mind carrying my dead weight around to ease the good people's worries?"

"Sure, I'd be proud to," Hoss responded, a grin tickling the corners of his mouth.

"I have an idea," Evangeline spoke up, rising to her knees to brush Jody's cheek with the back of her hand. She leaned into Adam and spoke softly so as not to be heard by the others, "What if I take the little man up to bed and check in on your grandfather? Then you gentlemen can talk and have your privacy."

Wanting to protest but seeing the sense in her words, Adam took her hand and kissed it affectionately. He whispered, "We'll talk as soon as I can get away."

Evangeline's concerned eyes met his intense gaze as she took Jody's small body into her arms but he smiled then and she relaxed, trusting him that she would know all in due time. Adam's eyes, full of love and adoration, lingered on her form as she departed up the stairs with his would-be son sleeping tight in her grasp. The gentle pair seemed to him to be the vision of an angel sheltering a lamb into the gates of heaven. He was overwhelmed with the responsibility he would take on upon marrying the beautiful girl and nurturing a little boy through a horrific time of grief and into manhood. He feared that something would interfere and therein lay the problem upon his mind.

The men watched him with fond expressions and much elbow-ribbing before Frank cleared his throat at last. He rose regally to regard his hosts. "If you would excuse me, gentlemen, I should really return home to collect a few things if Evangeline and I are going to be staying here for the next couple of days. I really appreciate that you invited me along. My daughter will soon be the newest member of the Cartwright family but I am still much of an outsider."

"Not at all," Ben nodded with a distracted smile but with all the warmth of his kind nature, "One of the hands will be happy to saddle my horse, Buck, for you. He has a good temperament and steady gait. He'll keep you safe."

"Thank you very much, Ben. Your hospitality is unmatched," Frank commented and moved to pick up his hat from the credenza, "I'll be back in a couple of hours unless any matters of importance should arise in which case I'll send word."

After Frank had slipped on his hat and left the house, the four Cartwrights were alone together at last but awkward silence ensued as Adam's family waited for him to speak. When he did, he made quick work of relaying the information of George Meeker's family connection with Jody Grant, his nephew. Ben, having already known, wasn't surprised and Adam's brothers wanted to know what he planned to do next. Adam shook his head dejectedly, answering that he wasn't sure.

"I am going to have to talk with Angie and, together, we can decide. She has told me her wish to adopt Jody as our own but now, Meeker could steal custody from under my nose any time he wishes. He would have every right under the law, being Jody's uncle."

Hoss' brow furrowed in thought. "But didn't he scare the wits out of the boy back in the Carson City orphanage? I don't think Jody would take kindly to seeing him. Might make the terrible memories of the Grants' death that much more painful and real."

Agreeing with a nod, Adam let his gaze drift to the crackling flames in the hearth. His eyes reflected the sparks escaping in bursts of cascading sparkles and worry settled in his hazel orbs. "That is what I hate to think of the most. But if I am to fight Meeker than I want to start by being his friend. I don't like him one bit, Joe. However, if I don't play nice, he could rip my boy from me and...I couldn't deal with that. Jody is part of me now and... I have to say that I've come to love him."

His heart tightening, Ben stood and came over to squeeze Adam's shoulders with a consoling pressure. He glanced into the sympathetic faces of his younger sons before gazing down on his eldest's lowered dark head. "Adam, whatever you need we will help with. If you want us to help make Meeker at ease than you have it. Should I go talk with him first?"

"No, I better do it but..." Adam rubbed his temple in agitation, "I need to speak with Evangeline first. I don't want to face any of this without her and she has every right to be included in each aspect of my life. Might as well start here."

Ben squeezed the strong shoulders proudly once more before stepping away. "Well, I think I could use a long nap. Joseph, you too."

"But, Pa, I'm not tired!" Joe protested but his father simply pointed to the stairs and leveled his gaze at his youngest.

"You need the rest. You are recovering from injuries as well and I won't take no for an answer."

Joe's shoulders slumped as he rose to follow, bringing chuckles from his brothers as he climbed up out of sight. Hoss quieted once silence blanketed the room in comfort. He glanced at Adam who was becoming absorbed in his own world again, staring into the fire with a blank expression. Hoss cleared his throat and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and his fingers laced together.

"Adam, I...I'm sorry if I overstepped the other day. It wasn't my place and I need to keep my trap shut..."

"Yes," Adam turned and sighed, a quirky smile softening his face, "It was your place. I was being grossly unfair and needed to be snapped back into reality. Thanks for having my back."

"No more than you have mine."

"Maybe," Adam chuckled, leaning his head back and his eyes fell closed as he sighed, "Hoss?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're my brother," the words were slurring slightly as Adam began to doze off, comfortable and warm in the security of his circumstances.

Caught off guard, Hoss could only sit in unsure silence as he studied his big brother. He saw that Adam was wanting to rest and he thought to maybe go out for awhile and clear his head with a relaxing ride. He stood and came over to the blue chair. Patting Adam's shoulder, Hoss smiled when his brother's head lulled forward to rest on his chest and a light snore issued from his parted lips. Adam was slipping away into deeper sleep but he still heard Hoss' parting sentiments, spoken quietly and mingling with the cozy harmony of the house.

"I never could have asked for a better big brother. I'm glad you're not leaving us for the East like you always talked about. While Joe probably could do without your bossy streak, he loves ya. I know Pa couldn't do without your strength and I wouldn't know what to do without you around to be a sounding board...sleep well, brother, I hope your days get better real soon," he finished, his voice trailing away, much like his hand from Adam's sleeping body. Tiptoeing towards the door, he looked back and smiled once more before leaving the house with peace in his heart.

A tear explored its way down Adam's cheek...


	28. Chapter 28

Taking her time in tucking Jody snug in his bed, Evangeline could only think of what Adam must want to talk about. She tucked the covers firmly around Jody's form and sat on the edge of the bed to observe the precious life sleeping the hours away...and she smiled. Unsure at first as to how to be around a ten-year-old, she had found herself warming considerably. Seeing the adoration in Adam's body language over the last days and weeks had made her fall hopelessly in love with the little boy too. With a final smoothing of the blankets, she leaned down to kiss the soft, boyish cheek before she left in a rustle of her dress, the door clicking the only sound to be heard in the silence.

Evangeline paused in the hallway outside, intending to return to Adam but a light shining from under a door down the hall caught her eye and made her dither. Hesitantly knocking on the door, she entered and put on her best smile for the young girl in the chair slumped by the bedside of Adam's grandfather. "I do hope I'm not intruding, Miss Stoddard. I only wanted to ask if you have need of anything."

Sad eyes sunk into a pale, drawn face turned to the beautiful woman and instantly sent an ache into Evangeline's heart. Hurrying around the bed, she put her arms around Katherine and rubbed her back. "What's wrong, my dear, are you unwell?"

Katherine pushed away and stood to move toward the draped window, her arms coming up to rub her arms. If she had been a sheep in a lion's grasp, she couldn't have looked more frightened and helpless. Evangeline stood apart, unsure how to help and she tried a different approach. Turning, she moved over to check on Abel who was sleeping deeply and blissfully unaware. Out of curiosity, Katherine watched her rival show kindness to the old man and the sight made something twinge in a deep place. Evangeline straightened, looking at the girl kindly and then turned to go, finding the company to be unpleasant. She was halted though by a firm question directed at her back.

"Do you love him?"

Evangeline pivoted around in surprise. Katherine's eyes were dark and intense, something in them making the energy in the room seem quite hostile. Glancing at Abel, Evangeline knew instinctively that he wasn't the center of attention. Her saphhire-blue eyes blinked back to Katherine who still was watching her intently. Evangeline nodded, her hand drifting away from the doorknob as she stepped closer.

"Yes, without a doubt, I love him with my whole heart. He is my everything."

Katherine turned to look out the window, listlessly pulling back the curtain. "I thought I hated you. Hated you for having him, hated you for being able to hold him...kiss him. But more than that, I envied the way he looks at you...gentle and deep. I will never be good enough to make him ever look at me in such a way," she turned, back straight and resentment hung thick in the air, "What I am trying to say is that you win. He deserves a beautiful wife with breeding, money and who suits him. I am far from any of those things."

Though touched by the honesty, Evangeline saw agony roiling behind the defiant exterior. "I think you sell yourself a little short," she murmured gently, moving to Katherine's side as the girl returned her solemn gaze to the world outside of the dark room.

"No," came the response, "I'm worthless to Grandpa and I'm a worthless liability to the man I have loved since I was little. What good will I ever be?"

"Nonsense! I think that you have been lonely and that can drive a person into any number of bizarre ways of coping. I know," Evangeline hesitated, unsure as to why she felt the need to share private details but she pushed on anyway, "My mother died three years ago and I shut down after the funeral. Poppa threw himself into work and I, well, believe it or not, I joined a group of young women who were interested in volunteer nursing for Northern soldiers in a hospital nearby. The work was hard, long hours and it was heartbreaking but it taught me good skills."

Katherine found the courage to look straight into Evangeline's eyes, only truthful openness found in their depths. "You were a nurse? For how long?"

"Eight months. The hospital was close enough to Poppa's house that I was able to come home most Sundays to see him."

Making no comment, Katherine shifted her head to look towards the bed. "I lived with Grandpa for a few years after he found me but then he sent me off to boarding school and I barely saw him until last year. I thought I could get to know him at last but then he got sick and has been so tired ever since. At home, he slept most of the time and I was left twiddling my thumbs."

Evangeline realized that perhaps there was more to be seen in this wisp of a girl than she had first assumed. "You did the best you could. Would you sit with me here so I can ask you something?"

Devoid of an opinion one way or another, Katherine joined the other young woman in a small bench in the corner of the room, away from the bed to ensure quiet for its occupant. Evangeline hesitantly reached out to take one of Katherine's small hands in her own. Heartened when the girl didn't flinch away, Evangeline formed her words carefully.

"I want to help you, Katherine, can I call you 'Katherine'? Adam has the same wish and I'm sure he could come up with an idea to give you a secure future. We would be glad to help you get a new start."

Hope turning into defiant resentment, Katherine's eyebrows drew together into a scowl and she yanked her hand away. "I don't want any help from you or Adam," she said, standing suddenly. She scowled at Evangeline and her voice dripped with disdain, "I said you won! Marry him and live happily ever after for all I care. Just leave me alone. Grandpa needs me...I don't want to talk to either of you ever again! Get out of here!"

Stunned, Evangeline sat rigid until her own eyebrows came together into a mask that shielded her kind heart from hurt. Meeting Katherine's icy stare with ice of her own, she rose gracefully, drawing herself to a full and slender height. In a low tone, she made her position clear. "I appreciate that Adam is special to you but I will never be out of the way and I won't sit by idly anymore and watch you flirt with him at every opportunity. He is so blinded by his affection for you that he doesn't see it but I do. I trust him but I don't trust you. Put plainly, young lady, if I see one more coy hand put on his arm or whisper in his ear or wink in his direction, you will be most happy to depart this part of the country and return to that lonely house. Do I make myself clear?"

Pure shock was all Katherine felt as she was left standing like a fool, mouth agape, as Evangeline seemed to glide to the door and depart with the considerable dignity that became her. Anger rose up and ebbed away in equal measure, leaving the girl drained and full of self-loathing. Nervously, she wondered if Abel had heard any part of the exchange. Upon checking, relief flooded her upon seeing that he was still fast asleep and comfortable. She breathed a sigh and returned to the chair to keep vigil, a knot wrenching her stomach into a writhing mass of turmoil. No part of her life contained hope, no shred of a reason to continue. Tears rolled down her cheeks and the night drug on, each minute finalizing her decision.

I* * * * *I

The sun was spilling forth its glorious rays into the great room when Evangeline stepped down the stairs, a welcome change from the dark confines of the Captain's room. Her blood was hot and she took deep breathes to calm her racing heart. She hadn't meant to unload on Katherine in such a snippy manner but, deep in her stomach, she had been satisfied. To her, a wife shouldn't stand idly by and let events unfold but needs to be a part of them and to shape them. Adam was in a weakened state and her responsibility to him surpassed any good intentions she might have had when trying to talk to his cousin. Evangeline knew that Katherine had to leave her man alone because she honestly didn't trust herself to not follow through on her threat. The intensity of her jealousy sent a shiver through her as she reached the bottom step and paused, scanning the room.

A soft sound directed her attention to the blue chair from which she saw an arm protruding from over the armrest and a black-clad leg sticking straight out in front. A smile grew on her face as she crept forward, walking stealthily until Adam came into view. Her troubles melted away into the back of her mind, his presence enough to soothe her as he slept. His body had slipped down in the chair, one leg bent at the knee, his head was leaning against his right hand, light snores escaping his relaxed mouth. She sat on the coffee table, crossed her legs and leaned her elbows on her knees, her hands clasping to support her chin. For the next minutes, she was more than satisfied to sit and watch him... simply admire and no more.

The sunlight played off his features and she took note of each one that could be seen in their true beauty while he slept without worry. No troubles to crease his smooth brow, tarnish the bronzed skin about his full mouth or interfere with the ghostly, black lashes caressing his cheeks under delicate eyelids painted a faint blue by pale veins barely visible. His chest rose and fell, lungs reaching for air, expanding to capacity and sighing into completion each time. A snort interrupted the rhythm of his gentle snores and he wiggled unhappily, working himself deeper into the chair and settling with a deep sigh.

Evangeline couldn't help but sigh with him. How could anyone blame Katherine for falling for this masculine marvel of the civilized world? Possessed with a face to rival Michelangelo's David, a heart of fire that rises to the fiercest challenge and a gentle soul of mystery quailing behind a supremely fit, strong body...how could any woman resist the urge to nurture him in every way possible? Adam Cartwright was the whole package, of that there could be no doubt. Immersed in her private thoughts, Evangeline smiled and enjoyed the view until a louder snort woke him with a start. Disoriented, he glanced around in confusion, trying to remember what he could last recall. His hazel gaze drifted over her watching him and a crooked grin claimed his lips as he struggled to sit up.

"How long have you been there, little miss?" he quipped, losing the battle to push himself up, pain rippling up his back.

Evangeline came to his side and assisted him in finding a more comfortable position. Taking her seat again, she took his hand, kissing its surface and running a thumb over the knuckles as she looked up into his eyes. "Not too long. Only admiring what is mine. Did you sleep well?"

Adam started to shrug but thought better of it, his back reminding him to take it slow. "Hoss and I were talking and I think I dozed off. I remember him saying some things and the door closing but I don't know where he went. Did Jody go down well for you? He has trouble going to sleep off and on."

Evangeline shook her head, a dreamy smile settling on her face. "He is sleeping soundly. Strange, isn't it? To think of becoming parents before our marriage?"

"Yes, it is and somehow you said that without sounding the least bit ironic, my love," Adam chuckled but then his face creased into a customary look of intense thought, "I do need to talk with you about him. Although the way is mostly clear for the adoption, there is one thing I regret to say I kept from you. Not just you but everyone."

Evangeline released his hand and sat straight, her hands clasping nervously in her lap. Quietly, she asked, "Is George Meeker involved?"

Adam's eyebrows shot up to the ceiling and he leaned forward painfully. "Yes, how did you know that?"

"I wasn't sure but you have acted so strange around him each time and when I talked to him..."

"You talked to him?" Adam's eyebrows drew together in displeasure, "I thought I asked you to stay away from him."

Evangeline raised her chin stubbornly. "You didn't ask me, you told me and I wasn't aware that I couldn't use my own judgment. It was only one time and, don't worry, I was walking by the room and he was moaning from delirium. Everyone else was busy so I went in to see to his needs. He was handcuffed and too sick to cause harm of any kind. He only wanted water and then I talked to him for awhile until he was sleepy. I told him that he needed to trust you and I gather that he did. After all, you did capture the men you were after, am I right?"

Adam searched her face, the tension easing from his eyes. "So you were the one to bring him around to telling me what I wanted? I should have known. He was being so stubborn and all at once, he was singing like a canary and I thought only that he had seen reason."

"Are you angry with me, Adam? I only did what I thought was right. I am sorry if you feel I betrayed you," she lowered her head, staring at her hands. One of his hands appeared before her eyes, engulfing hers in warm heat.

"You could never betray me and I need to get used to living with a strong-minded woman but I could never ask for more," he tipped her chin up and smiled when she met his gaze, "Forgive me for ordering you about?"

"I suppose, just as long as you never stop worrying about my safety. I could never do without that."

"Your wish is my command, my lady. Getting back to my original subject..."

In as few alarming words as possible, Adam told her of George Meeker's involvement in Jody's life and the possibility that the boy could be taken away. This revelation was a shock but she handled it well.

"I am so sorry, Adam. I know how much he means to you and he is beginning to have an impact on me as well. Is there any way to fight for him?"

"That's the thing," Adam said, "Pa and my brothers all agree that Meeker should be made a guest of the house and made to feel at his ease. Jody will have to be introduced to him and..."

"But didn't he..."

"Frighten him? Yes, and I fear that Jody could be further traumatized by a meeting but what else could we do? Adoption papers take time to draw up and until we can get them signed, Meeker can rip him from us at any time of his choosing."

The couple was quiet, contemplative and deep in their respective thoughts until Evangeline spoke up softly, "There is another option. What if you and I talk with him? Cut the manipulation and ask him for the right to adopt Jody? Isn't that better than subterfuge?"

Adam stared silently into the fire, wrestling with the familiar fear of losing that which he loved. He wanted to steal what he wanted from under his rival's nose before he lost his son forever to a man he disliked strongly. But her sentiments were wise and made a lot more sense than he wanted to admit. Turning to regard his love, Adam nodded almost imperceptibly. "I chose well when I asked you to be my bride, Evangeline Williams. Where else could I have found a woman who would keep me on the straight and narrow so skillfully?"

Evangeline blushed, a charming tint of red coloring her creamy skin.

"I want Jody just as much as you do so I think we should do this together and only the two of us. Your family is kind to want to be involved in this but you are going to be the head of your own family and our business needs to remain our business. No one else's."

"I agree completely. So, it is your decision. When do you want to talk with our infamous friend?"

Evangeline thought for a moment, her mouth pursing in the adorable way Adam loved to watch. The sunlight from the window bounced off her dark hair, weaving through each strand and highlighted the flawless skin of her face and neck. He was filled with frustration, wanting desperately to take her into his arms but he was bound inside his protesting body and doctor's orders weighed heavily on his mind. Contenting himself with the view, he waited and she soon seemed to reach a decision.

"I think that there is no time like the present but do you feel well enough to take him on?"

"I'm fine..."

She wagged her finger at him. "No, no, no, you don't. From now on, I want a straight answer. How is your back?"

Grinning, Adam enjoyed being dominated for the moment. "No more discomfort than usual, nurse, but I think I have one particular pain that needs tending to. It is most distracting."

Quirking an eyebrow, she saw only mischief in his eyes. "Don't start. I'm not kissing you until you finish and don't pout because I'm not relenting...no matter how cute those puppy dog eyes are."

"Alright," Adam sighed, behaving himself, "Truly, I feel well and the sleep has done me good. Do you believe me now?"

"Yes, this nurse is satisfied. Now for your reward, where were we?"

Evangeline smiled, coming to his side and drawing him to his feet. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she leaned in to kiss the sensitive skin behind his ear, making him breath in sharply. They shared a soft kiss, a mere brushing of dreams before their eyes met and one resolve settled in her blue depths and his hazel orbs. She took his arm in her comforting grasp, leaning in close and together they walked as one to the guest bedroom door. He glanced at her once more before he rapped a knuckle gently on the door.


	29. Chapter 29

As midday moved into late afternoon, a lone horseman traveled along a road winding through dense trees which parted magically after a mile to reveal a sparkling lake of the deepest blue framed by pale skies and forests. The man sat back in his saddle, taking in the view with a deep sigh of contentment passing from his lips. The bay horse nickered softly, pawing one hoof on the ground as if to agree with its owner. The songbirds gave flight from the trees above, creating a glorious cacophony of music as they drifted away to their own destinies. Such a day as this was meant to be shared with someone special.

From the other direction on the road, another rider came loping on a white horse. The figure was too far away to decipher who it was but the presence was unwelcome in the aftermath of turmoil on the Ponderosa. Mumbling threats under his breath, the man wheeled his horse around to take refuge behind dense shrubbery at the other side of the throughway. The second rider drew closer, cantering past without suspicion. The peace of the morning was shattered by a pistol shot splitting the air in a deadly warning. A woman's scream followed as the white horse reared back, crow-hopping as it fought to take the bit between its clenched teeth. The incensed man softened instantly, horror passing over his face. Dismounting, he ran forward, catching the bridle of the panicked animal and talking it down with soothing whispers. He turned to apologize to the lady and was met by the frightened face of an attractive young woman clothed in a simple but flattering red riding habit. A mountain of blond curls cascaded from under a black, widebrimmed hat but what was most bewitching was her eyes. Green of the darkest hue, they held a fire that rendered him forgetful and utterly speechless. He stood rooted to the ground, his hand still clutching the reins.

"How dare you, sir! Unhand my horse, you filthy bandit!" she screeched, wielding her riding crop to good affect. Knocking the large, cream hat from the big man's head, she didn't look back as she kicked her mare into a full gallop, their dust choking the perceived attacker.

The man stooped in dismay, snatching his hat up and running to jump onto the bay's quivering back. The steed dug into the ground, haunches tensing and glistening with sweat, hard hooves searching for firm contact as the pair sped after the woman. She was far ahead, too far to catch, but her pursuer wasn't worried because the road led straight to the Ponderosa. He could catch up to her there and try to make amends for his flawed judgment. As he thought back to those fiery green eyes, she seemed to be familiar but he couldn't put his finger on it.

I* * * * *I

George Meeker lay in bed, staring out of the window to his right with boredom clear on his face. A groan came from his chest as he pushed the covers back, swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood shakily, clutching the healing wound at his abdomen. Slowly, he moved to the glass and peered out at the sunny world begging for him to venture forth from his solitude. He glanced around at his comfortable room, a deceptive facade for what it really was...a prison of pillows and soft sheets. Anxiety nudged into his thoughts as his free hand clenched at his side. The urge to flee was strong in him but he knew that any suspicious noise and the entire Cartwright clan would descend upon him like rats to a crumb. The only hope was to play the victim and hope that they would let him go.

A light knock made the man jump and he spun towards the door as the lock was unlatched and it opened. The beautiful young woman who he remembered to be Evangeline Williams stepped inside with a smile on her face. A most delectable symbol of womanhood, she was to be sure. George's surfacing smile fell as Adam Cartwright came in close behind her, shutting the door firmly.

"What do you two want? Give me another ultimatum perhaps?" George chuckled wryly, limping to a chair and sinking into it with a loud groan.

Evangeline looked at Adam, her eyes prodding him to speak first and to say something kind. He took a deep breath as he began, "I or I should say we would like to talk with you about Jody."

George sat back, wariness flitting in his eyes. "Why? The boy isn't ill, is he?"

"He's fine. But his future is far from secure. We wanted to know your intentions towards him."

"Intentions? I don't understand."

"Are you planning to claim your blood connection?"

"You mean take him on as my own son?" George asked, incredulity clear. Adam nodded and the man burst into laughter, his amusement quickly halting when pain ripped through him but he was still shaking his head as he looked up at the couple. "He is my sister's son. I feel an affection for him but I could never raise a child, let alone a boy. He would never be happy roaming the gambling halls with me and that is no way for Anne's son to grow up. He deserves a good life with real parents and a real sense of belonging. Besides, he won't want to see me and I could really careless anymore." George looked from Cartwright to the pensive Miss Williams and a grimace appeared on his lips. "Why are you asking me this? I have been kept here against my will, handcuffed to my bed and now you are interrogating for the third time in as many days! What more could you want from me?"

Adam took a step forward, his eyes glowing with dangerous irritation but a soft hand on his arm stopped him. Evangeline shook her head, her fingers tightening until he relaxed. She turned to George and smiled again. "Mr. Meeker, you are no more a prisoner in this house than I am. You are free to go at any time once you are well. Adam and I are to be married on Saturday and afterward, we would like your consent to let us adopt your nephew as our own son."

George ignored the smoldering gaze of the man and focused on the lovely girl, her eyes hopeful and full of dreams. He glanced to Adam and frowned. "Cartwright? What do you have to say for yourself?"

"What my future wife says always has my full support. She doesn't need any help. Her sentiments are entirely my own in this matter. As you said, Jody needs a good home and I am more than prepared to give him that and so much more. He will be loved, something you neglected to mention."

"I see," George replied, stroking his chin, "What if I don't comply? What then? The stocks or maybe a nice public hanging?"

"There is no need to be rude, sir," Evangeline admonished, unsure has to how long she could hold Adam at bay from surely injuring his back for good and always. "We could have procured adoption papers without your knowledge but thought that it would be better for all concerned to keep the matter open for all eyes to see."

"You are a wise young woman, my dear," George smiled, "I am willing to listen on the grounds that your fiancé there apologizes for keeping me as a prisoner when I had done nothing wrong. Only then can any real discussion take place about Jody."

"But you were in league with Anderson until you turned snitch to save yourself or have you forgotten that! I had no way of knowing what you would do next until I knew you were telling the truth!"

"Adam, please," Evangeline pleaded in a whisper, entreating him softly, "Keep him happy. Remember?"

Adam studied her eyes and with a clenching of his jaw, turned to his nemesis. "I apologize for not bringing in the Law to make the official decision. I was wrong for taking justice into my own hands."

Surprised that his poking had actually elicited the desired response, George locked eyes with Adam. Though there was anger held in Cartwright's gaze and rightly so to some extent, a sensitivity had been shown by how easily Miss Williams had persuaded him to her way of thinking. George glanced at Adam's hand that came up to hold the woman's waist and his eyes narrowed. He took a moment to consider the ultimate question but still had doubts.

"I want to know one thing. Will I be exiled from ever seeing Jody?"

Evangeline opened her mouth but to her surprise, Adam spoke first, "Not forever but, yes, at first, I believe that revealing yourself to Jody will cause him harm. I am not saying that you were to blame for scaring him at the orphanage but he thinks of you as a nightmare and not something to be fond of. While I would ask that you stay away until I feel he is ready, I will also write to you regularly and let you know how he is getting on. Now, what do you say? Will you let us make Jody our own? We love him and he loves us, of that I have no doubt. He needs us and we need him."

Not letting on what he was truly feeling, George focused on rising to his feet, doing his best to stand straight. He turned his back and limped back to the window. Sighing, he nodded to himself as he faced the nervous and impatient couple. "If you get me a ride to town, Cartwright, as soon as I am well enough to travel, I'll be on the first stagecoach to San Francisco. I'll sign the necessary papers before I go."

"Oh, thank you, thank you," Evangeline squealed with delight, tears springing to her eyes as she ran forward to hug the man quickly before returning to Adam's side and hanging onto his arm with pure joy on her face. Adam couldn't help the smile that softened his hard countenance as he extended a hand to a man who he had mistrusted, despised and now found himself indebted to.

"I thank you, sir."

George took the proffered hand in kind. "You may have some right to dislike me and I accept that. Keep my nephew safe and well, Cartwright, and you may never have to see me again," he turned his attention to Evangeline and the smile became softer, reaching his eyes, "I thank you for your kindness, miss, and I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope you are always met with happiness."

Looking up at Adam, Evangeline felt tears threaten to spill down her cheeks. She returned George's benevolent stare with a inclination of her head. "And I hope the same for you. I do hope we meet again but if not, goodbye, Mr. Meeker."

Adam tensed when the absorbed man reached for Evangeline's hand and kissed it gallantly. Clearing his throat, Adam guided her towards the door and out but he paused, his head turning to shoot a hard glance over his shoulder that George had trouble understanding. Passive aggression and gratitude mingled with what could be either warning or invitation. Intentions were left hanging as the door closed and the room's lone occupant was left alone, a chuckle bubbling over as he gave in to the absurdity of what had just transpired.

I * * * * *I

Outside the door, Evangeline couldn't contain her joy, wrapping Adam close in a hug, laughing tearfully as she covered his face with hurried kisses. He grinned, resting his forehead upon hers, his eyes closing so he could focus all his external senses on this one moment. How he had dreamed of a family of his own, had pined for it, had longed to feel the touch of a loving woman and had tried to imagine what it would be like to know a small child thought he was the whole world wrapped up in one man. All this had come true after the lonely years he had endured and the happiness was enough to bring moisture to his hazel eyes. When he opened them, her glistening depths gazed back only inches from his. The love shining from her being scorched his soul.

"Can I ever love you more than in this moment?"

Flicking her gaze over his face and to his lips parted by longing, she answered his question by reaching up to cup the back of his neck and pulling him into a passionate kiss. They embraced ardently and deeply, observed by one who often found comforting refuge in the shadows. Hop Sing took that moment to sneak back into his kitchen with his own tears of happiness leaving dew upon his lashes. In a shrill tone, he began to hum a song from his homeland, one that told of a prince imprisoned for centuries in his own torment, only to be freed by the touch of a beautiful maiden's soft hand.

Drawing back slightly from his strong embrace, Adam ran the back of his right fingertips down the side of his love's face. A tremor fluttered her eyelids, lashes brushing against her delicate cheeks. He took in a breath, opening his mouth to speak but she placed a finger to his lips and shook her head once. Grasping his shoulders, she reveled in the strength and melted into another kiss that stole their breath away. So caught up were they in the tenderness of the moment that the hoofbeats outside the house weren't heard. Unexpectedly, a pounding on the front door thundered through the house and startled the couple out of their bliss.


	30. Chapter 30

"What on Earth?" Evangeline exclaimed, running to the door and flinging it open. "Why, Mindy!" she gasped, "You poor thing, you look like you've seen a ghost, what's wrong? Come in, come in, please."

Mindy was ushered in and stood shaken, looking to Adam as he limped around the corner into view. He approached with a compassionate smile and placed a hand on her upper arm. "I am glad to see you, Nurse Midler, although not under these circumstances. Why don't you sit here on the settee and tell us what happened."

"Thank you, Mr Cartwright, I didn't know what to do so I came here," Mindy replied tearfully, accepting the kind offer and taking a seat beside Evangeline who took her hand comfortingly. Adam leaned against the back of his blue chair and dipped a hand into his front pocket, waiting to hear the explanation. After catching her breath, the flustered girl began, telling quite the tale of a big man in a ten-gallon hat. By the end of the story, Adam was laughing so hard that he couldn't remain upright. Sucking in her bottom lip, Evangeline tried to hide the chortle that threatened to burst from her lungs.

Mindy looked from one to the other in bewilderment. "I don't understand, what's so amusing? It was extremely harrowing."

"I am terribly sorry, I do apologize," Adam said, lowering himself into his chair and trying to stop the rest of his chuckles, "But you see that was my brother, Hoss, and I am sure he meant you no harm. He probably thought you were another trespasser. We have had too much trouble from lowlives lately. But from what you said, he realized his mistake and tried to talk to you...before you took your crop to him that is."

Evangeline couldn't contain her laughter then as Adam lost his composure, covering his eyes as his shoulders shook. Mindy was horrified and began to feel embarrassed by her reaction to what now seemed to be an entirely innocent mistake. But as she thought about it, the whole thing did strike her in a different light. Before long, she was adding her giggle to the hilarity. When the threesome stopped for a breath, the door opened then and Hoss entered, his hat squashed in his hands as he looked about with an apologetic look on his face.

"Ah, speak of the devil," Adam snickered, gesturing behind the women.

Mindy turned and rose from the settee to confront "her bandit". Her eyes grew large and indecisive upon seeing the man's size. His muscles appeared to be massive with shoulders that spanned the room, it seemed to her. Although he was the picture of nervous humility, she couldn't help being a tad frightened again but didn't let on as she stood with back straight, watching him.

Hoss fidgeted under her timid perusal and gestured into the air as he took one step forward. "I watered your horse, ma'am," he said, feeling more and more guilty by the minute. "My name's Hoss Cartwright. I am terribly sorry I scared ya. See, I wasn't shooting at you but up in the air. If I had seen that the...visitor was you then I never would have ambushed ya."

Mindy's mouth had begun to turn from a frown into a charming smile. A giggle showed her white teeth as she slipped her small hand into his grasp. "My name is Mindy Midler, Mr Cartwright, and I am pleased to meet you properly at last. If you don't remember, I work as a nurse at Doctor Martin's office."

Recognition dawning, Hoss grinned down at her, his blue eyes twinkling. "I...uh...thought I recognized you but I wasn't sure. I am so sorry I didn't know right away...I mean, uh, I hope you won't hold a grudge about what happened...before."

"No worries," she replied, her smile fading into a thoughtful expression as she observed just how blue Hoss Cartwright's eyes really were. Next to his oldest brother, he couldn't be called ruggedly handsome but there was a beauty about him nonetheless that surpassed mere good looks. Not that she didn't think Adam Cartwright had many fine qualities but the intensity of his presence made her ill at ease while this man...well, she wasn't sure...in fact, she found herself drawn to the huge man with the charming dimples. Realizing that she was staring, she blushed and looked away to Evangeline.

"Thank you for your help, Miss Williams, and I think I'll be going now."

"I'll walk you out," Evangeline smiled, rising to take the other woman's elbow.

Mindy nodded, glancing back at Hoss. Trapped in the allure of her gaze, he met those stunning green eyes before she swept out the door, her riding skirt flowing behind her in a rustle of red. Following behind her new friend, Evangeline winked in Adam's direction and he grinned behind the hand discreetly covering his mouth. When the door closed, Adam turned his attention to Hoss who sank down on the settee with a heavy sigh.

"Oh, the love bug has bitten you hard this time, brother," Adam grinned, "Once you wipe your jaw up from the floor, you can tell me what you intend to do next about that lovely problem."

"I ain't rightly sure," Hoss replied, chewing on a fingernail nervously.

A warm laugh came from Adam's chest. "Well, I am. You need to ask her to the wedding!"

"Ah, Adam, I couldn't! I jest met her and why would a pretty thing like that go out with a clodhopper like me? Then there's..."

"Are you quite finished now?" Adam interrupted matter-of-factly, "I don't care about all of that and neither does she. I saw the look she gave and so did you. Don't deny yourself the chance at her. Not counting my own beautiful Evangeline, Mindy Midler is the most attractive woman I've seen in some time."

Hoss' mouth quirked into a smile and he looked up shyly. "She is something else, huh? Do you think I can catch her in time?"

"Won't know until you try. Get goin' before she leaves!" Adam admonished, gingerly settling back into his chair with a smug smile when Hoss jumped up and ran to the door in a flurry of footsteps. "And, Hoss? I am glad you are my brother too."

Surprise washing over his face, Hoss stared into his brother's fond face and inclined his head, too moved to speak as he disappeared out the door.

Outside as the two women walked, Mindy remembered what her purpose was for the eventful ride of the morning. "The reason I came out to the Ponderosa today was because I found this under a bed in the infirmary," Mindy said, retrieving the pink hat from her saddlebag.

Evangeline took her property in hand with a soft laugh. "Thank you so much. I fear I am becoming forgetful of late. Won't you stay for awhile longer? I would love to get to know you better. Already you have done so much for Adam, his family and me that I feel hopelessly in your debt."

"I am only glad to be of some service, miss, but I can't stay. I have been working since last evening and need some sleep. You do understand?"

"Of course, of course, that was selfish of me. Perhaps another time?And you must call me 'Angie' though, please."

Mindy smiled, taking her reins in hand. With a graceful jump, she was astride her horse and went about arranging her wide skirts over the side saddle. The door banged open and the women looked up in surprise to see Hoss pause and then walk quickly to their side.

"Miss Mindy?"

"Yes?"

Evangeline put her hand up on her friend's arm. "I'll leave you both to it then but I do hope we see each other again really soon."

Mindy nodded with a smile before turning her attention back on Hoss. While walking away, Evangeline overheard an invitation being given and she was delighted. Moments later, she slipped into the house, the pink hat fluttering from her hand as she strode over to Adam. She was shaking her head as he accepted her into his lap. His arms gathered tightly around her and she smiled at him in a thoughtful manner.

"My, but your brother was quick to pounce on poor Mindy," she exclaimed. When he only answered her query with a lopsided grin, she narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "You wouldn't have had anything to do with this, would you, handsome?"

Adam shrugged, doing his best impression of an innocent. "I merely told him that it might be a good idea to invite her to our wedding...seeing as how both of you have found friendship with the young lady so quickly."

"I bet that is all you said. I know when you are fibbing to me because your eyes are all lit up and bright. Like the stars on a clear night."

Adam flicked his eyes over her face, his gaze traveling until it settled on the side of her neck. Ducking his head to give that point of interest a soothing kiss, he murmured, "Is that the only time that my eyes "light up" as you say?"

"No, there are other times but..." she sighed, tilting her head away to meet his lips, "I have forgotten the other times. You are such a rascal! And take that hat off your head! How can I kiss a man seriously when he's got a pink veil trailing down his back?"

Adam laughed, removing the offending frillery that he had decided to model on a whim. He tossed the hat on the coffee table with a flourish. "You're right. You deserve only a real man kissing those rosy lips of yours. Come here, little miss..."

"What if I refuse? I may not want your attentions, sir," she teased, tickling his neck playfully.

"Then get ready, lady, because I don't care," Adam growled, her giggle muffled by their desire meeting as one breath.

Hoss came in a few minutes later and found his brother and Evangeline speaking quietly. She was on Adam's lap, curled into his chest and smiling at something he was whispering. A kiss was shared and smiles exchanged, his arms tightening about her small frame. They were such a loving picture that no one could doubt they meant the world to one another and Hoss hated to intrude. He cleared his throat and Adam looked up, grinning with contentment and mischief.

"So, did she accept?"

Hoss nodded with his own grin lighting his face. "I will accompany her for the day. I still can't believe she said 'yes'."

Evangeline slipped off Adam's lap and went over to hug Hoss, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "You are a sweet, good, kind gentleman, Hoss, and never let anyone tell you different. Any girl should be proud to be on your arm. Your brother over there could learn a thing or two from you."

"Hey, what is that supposed to mean?" Adam cried, his face screwing into a mock pout.

"You know exactly so you shouldn't ask that question if you don't want the answer," she laughed, returning to sit on the edge of the coffee table and take his hand in hers.

Hoss chuckled at the banter and glanced towards the stairs. "Is everyone still taking a nap?"

Evangeline nodded. "Yes, except Katherine. Adam, your grandfather is still sleeping soundly and seems comfortable."

Adam frowned then, remembering something he wanted to ask his brother. He inquired after the details of Abel's collapse and shook his head with regret upon hearing of why the old man had suffered so. Naturally, he felt twice the guilt now for putting his family through the burden of caring for him in his weakened state. His brother and future wife quickly stopped those thoughts, telling him that a lot of the circumstances of late were out of his control. Adam wanted to go to his grandfather but Evangeline firmly refused, saying that the man was resting and shouldn't be disturbed. She also made a point to speak of Adam's own need for rest.

"I think that a nap would do you good as well. Hoss, would you mind taking him upstairs to his room?"

"Sure..."

"Hold on now! Don't I have any say in the matter?" Adam pretended to fume.

Leaning forward, Evangeline ran her hand down his arm and kissed his cheek. "No, you don't, my love. Once you are rested, we can make the plans for the wedding ceremony. I also desperately need everyone's input and help in bringing together this affair. I haven't even given a thought to much of the physical placement of decorations and am regretting that now. Perhaps Poppa could find some workers to help get everything set up."

Adam shook his head, lifting his arm to lean on Hoss as he was helped to his feet. "The hands can do any manual labor and bring your ladyfriends in to decorate the house if you wanted. I know Pa will be thrilled to delegate."

"Yes, I know he will too. You sleep well and I'll see you later, alright?"

"But what will you do?"

"Oh, I think I'll go see what Hop Sing is up to. He and I have a quite a rapport built up and I can help with whatever he needs doing."

Adam smiled, never ceasing to be amazed at the diversity of talents she possessed. Wooing the prickly Cartwright cook over to her side was a feat of mountainous proportions and he marveled at it. As she disappeared into the kitchen and he was assisted upstairs, he felt a fresh wave of excitement roil his stomach. The wedding was less than forty-eight hours away now and he was so ready to be a husband at long last.


	31. Chapter 31

The afternoon passed in fine fashion, those injured finding much needed sleep while those fit and able went about the daily chores that kept the ranch running from day to day. Evangeline and Hop Sing worked through the hours in pleasant conversation, cleaning, making special treats for their loved ones and putting a little extra effort into a scrumptious feast for that night. She found out more about the Chinese cook than she ever thought possible and an even greater respect for him came to her mind as she found pleasure in helping with whatever needed to be done. After the last days of emotional turmoil, the simplicity of shining a table or peeling potatoes filled her with a happiness that she usually found only in her restaurant.

Out in the sunshine of a beautiful day, Hoss whistled a merry tune as he took care of a few of his own chores that had needed tending for too long. He chopped a supply of firewood for the kitchen and was tidying up the barn when, in the midst of the work, he noticed that Chubb was limping. Upon closer inspection, the bay's back left hoof had a small rock embedded in its frog and that was causing minor discomfort but nothing too worrying. Hoss soon had the problem fixed and after finishing up with mucking out the stalls, he saddled up his loyal mount and rode out into the large pasture adjacent to the barn. Riding for a time, he nudged Chubb up a grassy crest and down below was what they had been looking for; Jupiter's band of thoroughbred mares grazing in the afternoon sunlight.

The black stallion's head snapped up when the movement of an intruder came into sight. The proud carriage of his neck arched, his eyes bright as he attempted to discern whether or not his master was the one afar off. When the unfamiliar scent of a stranger reached his flared nostrils, he snorted angrily and stamped a hoof, his shiny coat rippling with concealed strength underneath. The mares mingled in nervous confusion behind him, unsure of how they should react to the trembling muscles of their leader.

Hoss chuckled, turning to ride back to the bunkhouse. Together, with the two idle hands available, he returned to the semi-wild band of horses with only one thought on his agenda. It took some doing but Jupiter was soon roped and led out in front by Hoss so that the mares would follow while the two hands brought up the rear and kept the herd moving in the right direction. An hour-and-a-half later, the Running J ranch came into view as a manicured symbol of a new life about to begin within its borders.

A two-story, beige house, accented by black shutters, graced the top of a gentle slope and leading down from the home was a winding drive that led to a sturdy barn. Wide pastures and a large corral flanked the red structure and a black smokehouse stood guard off to the left, along with a run-down tool shed doubling as wood storage. Scores of pine trees and various foliage came up to withing mere yards of the house on its west side and to its east, the lake could be seen shimmering miles away down in the valley. All in all, a gorgeous scene to see from any one of the many windows in the house.

Taking a minute to admire the view, Hoss halted Chubb and looked out onto the neat array of buildings. The stallion whinnied aloud, a mixture of anxiety and thrill in his tone, almost as if he realized that he soon would be joined by his master and soon-to-be mistress living in the attractive house with flowerbeds thriving about its borders.

Ascending up the sloped drive, Hoss smiled as he tugged Jupiter along into the tidy corral next to the red barn, white paint trimming its doors in the classic "X" pattern. "Now, hold on you pigheaded mule," he grinned, releasing the rope and watching as the black stallion bounded off to the far side of the pen, shaking his majestic head with displeasure. His legs were pulled up tightly as he high-stepped his way back and forth in front of his mares, showing off his luxurious tail that sailed out behind him as it arched away from his flexing rump.

Dismounting and leaning on the corral gate, Hoss followed the horse's movements with his eyes and the grin returned. He could never argue that Jupiter wasn't the finest combination of excellent conformation and fiery temperament that he had seen in a long time. Adam always had possessed a keen sense when it came to finding the finest horseflesh on the market but who would have known that the best could be found in the wild mountains of the Ponderosa's vast range?

The young colt had been an orphan, found by Adam, six years previously on a cold day in winter. The black coat of the foal had aided its rescue and soon was being pampered into a strong yearling then a stubborn two-year-old. From there, the black stallion with the flashing gaze had won Adam's heart and loyalty, even when more level-headed men shook their heads and winced at the numerous times the horse threw him in the cruelest ways the animal could conjure up in that quick brain of his.

Hoss remembered the day when Adam had limped painfully into the house, threw his chaps on the floor and declared, "That stupid horse isn't worth the oats I feed him with! I'm through with that demon this time! Once and for all..." His family had laughed then, knowing that Adam's stubbornness was more than a match for the steed. Sure enough, three days later and wearing a huge grin, he had ridden the horse into the yard to show off his success. However, in the days following, the horse still proved to be a problem under saddle, too much to work cattle with so Adam had made a decision. He had turned the stallion free into the wilds until a couple years back. When he'd invested in a few purebred mares to cross with Jupiter then he had spent an entire week tracking the mustang down once again. Meant to be an experiment, one that Ben wasn't overly fond of, Adam was more than surprised when the resulting foals were twice as strong as the average stock. They had inherited the long legs of their mothers and the short back and quick wit of their father, culminating into a superior mount that was as full of brains as they were of fiery will.

Now while watching the object of his brother's dreams parade his beauty around for the world to ogle, Hoss smiled again. He glanced around at the ranch and thought Adam to be the luckiest of men; first, to be the owner of such a prize stallion and a solid start of a ranch and, second, to be wedding a beautiful jewel of the East. Of course, Hoss had his own prospects on the line and he couldn't wait to get to know Miss Mindy Midler a bit more when given the chance this Saturday.

His mind switching to the urgency of the wedding, he turned to walk toward the barn, joining with the Ponderosa hands to stock the barn with enough hay to last several weeks if so needed. Also, a milking cow, several chickens and a couple of meat hogs were brought in on a wagon from the Ponderosa and given the proper space in the barn to munch happily at the dried stems of grass. When all was said and done, Hoss stood in the doorway with his hands on his hips and grinned at the sunlit interior, knowing that the surprise would knock his brother for a loop. Oh, how he couldn't wait until Saturday...he thought about airing out the ranch house but then he thought that he should wait for the betrothed couple to set up their own house the way they liked it. He felt more at home in the barn anyway and so contented himself with staying into evening as he finished a few repairs that he didn't want Adam to worry about in the coming weeks. By the time he was done, he was tired but still singing a merry whistle as he and the hands rode back home for a hot meal and a night of relaxation.

I* * * * *I

Early into the evening, Adam woke slowly on top of his bed, caressed into consciousness by the cool breeze fluttering the curtains at his bedroom window. Delicious smells wafted up from downstairs and he smiled, his stomach rumbling as he realized that he was starving. Nestling his head back against into the pillows propping him up in a sitting position, he sighed, closing his eyes to steal a few more moments of dozing before putting together enough coherent thoughts to rise. A light snore hitched his breath and he came out of bliss only to hear the pitter-patter of bare feet coming into his room.

Squinting one eye open to maintain the facade of sleep, he struggled to withhold a smile when Jody came into view and stood as if in a quandary by the foot of the bed. A blanket was draped around Jody's shoulders and he had the look of one who had just woken. His hair was tousled and his eyes were blinking owlishly as he shuffled closer. The child opened his mouth as if to say something but didn't, only staring at the sleeping man for the next several minutes. Then, he removed the blanket from his shoulders and tucked it over Adam's legs on top of the bedspread before reaching out a tiny hand to press over the large one lying across the man's waist.

A knot formed in Adam's throat, the childish gestures sending chills radiating from every nerve. Opening his eyes fully, he acted surprised and smiled up into Jody's sullen face. "Hi, buddy, are you doing okay? How does your head feel?"

Jody shrugged, sitting on the side of the bed when Adam patted a spot close to himself. "I had a bad dream."

"Oh? What about? Maybe I can help."

Silent at first, Jody avoided eye contact as he began, "You were in it and you were happy and smiling. I was there too, walking beside you and we were talking about something...then...there was a terrible noise and you fell down. I screamed for help but no one came. I thought you were asleep but your eyes were open and there was red stuff running out of your nose...and out of your chest..." the little boy raised a hand to Adam's face and hovered over it, searching for what he feared he would find. The hand dropped back to clasp in Jody's lap as he slumped in dejection. "I needed to make sure you were okay..."

"Oh, Jody, I'm not going anywhere and you don't have to worry. It was just a dream because I'm here. See?" Adam said, opening his arms compassionately into which Jody melted, reveling in the warmth of his protector.

"I was so scared...I thought you left me too."

His heart tightening, Adam hugged the boy closer, rubbing Jody's back in soothing circles. He didn't know what to say to help so he waited for him to speak more. The boy chose not to evidently because he only cuddled closer, a soft whimper rising to Adam's ears. An idea came to Adam and he gently pushed the little body away from his own, chucking a finger under Jody's chin.

"I think we need to do something fun to get our minds off of sad dreams. Why don't we go see Coal out in the barn together? Would you like that?"

Jody thought for moment and nodded but moved back in to hug Adam's torso, laying his cheek on the deep chest. "That sounds fun but I think I'd like to stay here a little longer...if you don't mind..."

"Of course not, buddy," Adam smiled sadly, his voice trailing away and rising again as he found the words he hoped would convey his feelings, "I know you miss them. It's alright to feel sad, my boy, and I always want you to remember that I never will make you feel that Aunt Evangeline and I are replacing your ma and pa. We only want to take care of you, nothing more but I also hope that you will always feel that I love you. I mean it...I love you very much."

Jody raised his head, his gaze searching Adam's glistening eyes. Without a word, man and boy came together and resumed cuddling in comfortable silence, no words needing to be said as one another's company was more than enough for both healing souls for the time being.


	32. Chapter 32

The time of cuddling aside, Adam was able to manage a short trip out to the barn with Jody. Though Adam had to limp along slowly, keeping his back straight to alleviate his discomfort, the visit did indeed lift the boy's spirits. A few chuckles were shared at the silly antics as he nuzzled Jody and tried to get him to play. Adam leaned on the stall door, his chin resting on his crossed arms as he watched the pair of adolescents squeal and cavort around the space. He smiled, hoping that the twosome would be this happy in their new home in a few days time, after the honeymoon was complete and he brought Jody into his and Evangeline's bonded life.

"Jody? Could you come here a minute? I would like to talk with you about something and I want your opinion on it."

"Sure, I'm comin'," Jody grinned, pushing Coal off him so to join Adam on the tack box outside the stall. Once they were both settled, Adam chose his words carefully.

"I know how much you like the Ponderosa but how would you feel about living with me and Aunt Evangeline somewhere else?"

Jody's eyebrows came together and he frowned. "Where would we go? Could I...take Coal with me?"

Adam chuckled and nodded. "Yes, yes, of course. He is your horse!You see, I bought a ranch a couple of weeks ago. You probably heard me talking about it with my brothers but perhaps not. It is about an hour's drive from here so we can come back to the Ponderosa whenever we like. There's a nice house there and a big barn for Coal to play in. I am going to be raising horses and sell them as either racehorses or skilled mounts. How does all that sound? I know you will like helping me with the colts because someone has to get them used to people before I begin training them."

Jody's eyes were shining and a smile grew, showing off the small space on the left side of his upper teeth where a tooth was growing in. "Pa wanted to work with horses too but he never got the chance. Think he'd would be proud if he knew I was training horses with you?"

Adam reached out a hand to grasp Jody's thin shoulder. "He already is proud of you and always will be. If you ever doubt what your ma or pa would think about something, you only have to look for them in here," he pointed at Jody's chest, catching the boy's eye to smile encouragingly, "Another idea I had was that I was going to suggest my family, er, our family having a party at my ranch tomorrow. Women can be picky about such things as furniture and knickknacks, don't you know. I figured we all could get the house just right for Aunt Evangeline. What do you say?"

"Will there be a bunch of strange people there?"

Laughing at Jody's scrunched nose, Adam shook his head. "No, only our family as it stands now with my father, brothers, grandfather, Katherine and Aunt Evangeline, of course, and Mr Williams. Sound doable?"

"Yeah! I can't wait to see what the new house looks like!" Jody exclaimed, thrilled at the idea of having Adam all to himself away from other people. "I don't like Katherine very much though. What's wrong with her? I tried to talk to her and she walked away. She's rude."

Adam frowned, his mind traveling to a more troubling subject. "Yes, I suppose she is and I apologize for her. She has a lot of problems that she had to get through."

"Oh, well, whatever. We'll be leavin' soon anyway and then I won't be around her anymore. Do you want to go back inside now? Aunt Evangeline told you not to stay out too long."

A warm laugh bubbled out of Adam's lungs again as he stood with some difficulty and began limping to the house with Jody trying in his childish way to support the injured man. Adam's thoughts were far from carefree, however, as he regretfully pondered the boy's last statements. Katherine may not be gone so quickly as would be hoped by some but Adam was upset that he too felt the need to distant himself from her. Oh, why, hadn't he seen this silly infatuation coming and done something to stop it? He blamed himself for being too friendly and personable in his letters to her. If he would have paid more attention then he could have...or done...well, perhaps he should keep in mind what Evangeline often said, that the world didn't revolve around his ability to control it.

Adam chuckled and put his arm around Jody's shoulders as they arrived at the door. The lovely lady in mind was laying napkins on the table when "her men" returned. She glanced up and her face lit up with a smile as she hurried to greet them.

"There you two are! Did you have fun?" she asked, kissing Adam's cheek and looking seriously at him, "How's your back?"

"I was careful. Wasn't I, Jody?"

Jody nodded solemnly, staring up at the woman dutifully. "He sure did, ma'am. We walked very slow and it took forever to get out there and back. I took good care of him."

Evangeline smiled as she crouched down to Jody's level, touching his arm gently. "Thank you, my pet, I need all the help I can get and we must stick together against this one, don't we?"

Jody giggled and nodded, running to the kitchen to tell Hop Sing about his foal and just maybe, the cook would have a sweet treat waiting. Out of sight, Evangeline made sure to greet her man properly, drawing him into a kiss and murmuring that she had missed him to which he laughed, making a snide remark about his hopeless allure. Her tinkling laughter flitted through the house as she led him by the hand to sit at the table to watch as she finished laying the place settings. In quiet tones, they discussed the talk that had taken place in the barn and she was enthusaistic about the party. She also agreed that to keep it to only family and intimate.

"That sounds heavenly, darling, I can't wait to see the ranch too."

Adam looked up with surprise. "Haven't I taken you there?"

She shook her head. "We saw the beautiful view from our special cliff but I have never seen the inside."

"I am so sorry, my love, here I have been talking about what I wanted and I never realized you didn't have a reference to go on. I have been an insensitive fool."

Evangeline frowned, slowly placing the dwindled stack of plates down and to be forgotten. She regarded her beloved and didn't like the dejected posture he had adopted, his shoulders slumping as he rubbed his temple in agitation. He sighed and looked out into the great room, his eyes clouded with uncertainty. She moved slowly around the table and came up behind him so she could hug his neck and place her mouth next to his ear.

"Dearest, you do the best you can. Honestly, I haven't thought about the ranch very much, there being too many other things in the days lately to allow for idle thought. I am just fine though, please believe me. I am content. My home is where you are...the air you breath is my own and I belong by your side, no matter where we lay our heads at night. I would be happy to live in a shack surrounded by dry brush, only if I could wake to your sweet face each morn. Where you go, so do I," she whispered, kissing his cheek and feeling him lean into her as he nodded.

"We have certainly had a tough time of it since I proposed to you but I only wish it could have been different. You deserve so much better..."

"Hush, my love," Evangeline admonished, coming around to face him. "I'm no shrinking violet that needs constant coddling. No more beating yourself up because of me, understand?"

Adam searched her eyes, bringing her hand up for a kiss on her white knuckles. "I understand but I know that I will never feel worthy of you. I can't keep up with anything these days and I feel overloaded. I'm scared I won't be able to be a good husband."

"Can I tell you a secret?"

Adam wondered at the quirked smile turning up the side of her mouth. "Always, what is it?"

"I, in turn, am terrified. I worry every day that I will mess up and you will regret marrying me but I know that you would counteract that fear each time if I told you just as you can trust me to argue with you whenever you don't give yourself enough credit. I love you so much, my wild one. I can't wait to see the great things you will accomplish in your lifetime. Let yourself fly free but please, don't ever forget to take me with you on this journey, alright? I can't wait to see the ranch up close and that is all you need think about."

Stunned by her frankness, Adam could only nod as she stood, smiled and returned to sorting out the cutlery into their assigned spaces. He watched her lithe figure...the graceful curves and the swaying of her hips as she worked...and a shiver passed through him. He desired her so badly and found that he needed to leave before he grabbed her, pulled her into a vacant room and kissed her like she had never been kissed up to then. When she brought his hidden fears to light with the deft precision of a master surgeon, he felt such strong attraction because of the intimacy of her wisdom that he doubted he could hold himself back much longer.

 _Good thing the wedding is right around the corner,_ he thought with a wicked smile, fighting to get his legs under him as he stood, murmured his love to her and limped towards the study only to find his father who was busy working on an endless stack of ledgers. Joe bounded down the stairs at that moment and waved to her as he joined Ben and Adam at the desk. Adam sat in the far chair that was visible from the dining room and he was unaware of the covert observations directed his way.

Evangeline paused to watch the tall figure of her man reclining in thought as he participated in the conversation and she sighed, a mysterious smile on her face as she hurried to finish her chore, trying without success to banish certain ideas that seemed to pop up without warning when she was in Adam's entrancing presence. _Oh, well, at least the wedding is on Saturday and then he'll be mine for all time. Lovely...absolutely lovely..._

I* * * * *I

Exhausted from her emotional turmoil, Katherine had fallen into a doze when Abel awoke at last, feeling much stronger and sharper of mind than he had known for a time. Anxious to see his grandson, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and struggled to stand. Hands restrained him as he attempted to grab his cane and leave the room.

"Grandpa, you shouldn't be overexerting yourself! Please, go back to bed. What do you need? I could get it for you quick enough. Please, tell me and I can help..."

"Girl, get off me, I need to see your cousin," Abel snapped, wrenching his arm away.

"Well, I can get him for you," Katherine stiffened and stepped back. "But he isn't my cousin and never was. You never formally adopted me, remember?"

"Where the heck did this come from? I'm not in the mood for any of your shenanigans right now. I let you come on this trip because I didn't want to leave you home alone and now you think you are the Queen of Sheba, all high and mighty and putting on airs. Well, not today, missy. I'm sick and tired of your hovering. Leave me alone, got it!"

Cut to the quick and the color drained from her petite face, Katherine numbly stepped out of the doorway and listened to the dull thump of her grandfather's cane on the hardwood of the hallway as he worked his way to the stairs. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she lunged for the open door, slamming it closed and crying hysterically as she put her back to it and slid to the floor in a miserable heap.


	33. Chapter 33

Abel paused on the stairway, guilt twinging his heart and he almost turned around to apologize to Katherine when he heard the door slam but then changed his mind. Remembering the more urgent mission, or at least it was in his own mind, he continued down, taking one step at a time. No one heard him approaching and so he was able to take stock of his grandson as Adam sat conversing with his brothers and father, Hoss having arrived minutes before and joining in the conversation. Adam appeared well, a smirk lighting his handsome mouth as he teased Joe. However, when he rose to greet his grandfather, a look of pain passed over his face as he straightened stiffly and limped laboriously toward the stairs. Abel winced, lost in troubled thought until Adam spoke and brought him back to the present.

"Ah, I see you are awake at last, lazybones. How are you feeling?"

"Better than I have felt in as many weeks, in fact. Not as spry as I could be but one can't expect too much from old bones like mine. And you, my boy, that limp reminds me of a firstmate I had some years before your father. That blame galoot was the one of the best seamen I ever had under me but he had the ugliest lookin' peg leg that I'd ever seen! You wouldn't be hiding some such monstrosity, would ya?"

"Afraid not, sorry to disappoint," Adam laughed, guiding Abel to sit and taking a seat next to him on the settee. Leaning forward to ease his aching back, Adam sobered and placed a hand on the other man's knee which was much too bony to the touch. "I am wholeheartedly sorry that I shocked you so. I feel responsible for your decline although I should have trusted your seaman's constitution to give you strength again."

"Don't bother yourself with me, boy. I'm not long for this world and so my health is rather beside the point. Unlike yours which is what I am only interested. Look me in the eye, young man, and tell me that I'll still be able to be the best man to my favorite grandson."

"You mean, your only grandson," Adam teased quietly, "I assure you that the wedding is more than on and, in fact, tomorrow I am planning a small party at my ranch, The Running J, to which you are invited. A kind of housewarming, if you will, to make sure that all things are as they should be for my blushing bride."

"I haven't had a chance to converse with the lady. Is she well too?"

"Yes, and she is also staying here along with her father, Frank Williams," Adam glanced around hopefully but didn't catch sight of his love. "I would bring her out but it appears she is tending to some important chore or another. Hop Sing has enlisted her services in helping with dinner.

"Williams? The business tycoon? How is the old pirate?"

Adam sat back in surprise, intrigued. "You know Evangeline's father. How did that come about, I am almost afraid to ask?"

Abel chuckled, a hoarse yet warm sound that reminded Adam of many nights spent in a little, Boston home talking into the wee hours with his grandfather who now seemed but a fragile shell of a once strong man. The equally familiar voice broke into the younger man's mind, "I was in a pub down in a rougher part of town and a few blokes took up an argument about something I said. You know me, I never could keep my bloody trap shut and I said a few unfortunate insults that was going to bring their wrath down on my fool head. Frank came in just as I was to be pummeled and fought the whole lot of them off with his bare hands. He used to be a prize fighter, don't ya know?"

"Yes, I also found out about his prowess in a colorful manner such as yourself," Adam grinned, thinking back to the fight on the trail when he had found out just what a skilled brawler the arrogant businessman really was.*

"Ah, then it will come as no surprise that he also is quite the gentleman and we struck up a friendship which led to a partnership of sorts. I had a little bit of money set aside and I invested it into a venture of his that proved most fruitful. Because of him, I was able to pay for Katherine's salty education."

"I remember that you said you came into some money to pay for the school but I must have forgotten the mentioning of Frank in your letters," Adam smiled, bracing himself as a new topic nudged into his sense of urgency.

"I did want to talk to you about a matter of some importance...and I hope you'll hear me out."

Meeting Adam's nervous expression with a smile of his own, Abel reached out to grasp the young man's shoulder, gripping it so hard as to make Adam wince. The old man wanted to relay the crushing fear that had plagued him upon hearing that Adam had been in some distress but Abel found himself lacking the ability to find the right words. The look of intimidation on the younger man's face hearkened back to a youthful college student with burning eyes which always seemed to plead for understanding. Those same eyes had a fire in them now as they stared into the captain's appraising ones. Abel leaned forward and his hand moved to Adam's neck, cupping the familiar nape affectionately, such as he used to do those many years ago.

"Anything I can do for you, my boy, just say the word. What's on your mind? You needn't sit so nervously as if you were a flighty schoolboy again!"

Chuckling, Adam resolved that he was being immature and needed to be direct, a gesture that he knew that would be appreciated. But how to begin? He scoffed at his own cowardice but he hadn't seen his grandfather face to face in so long that he had forgotten how intimidating it was to try and question anything that Captain Abel Stoddard might be doing wrong, God forbid. Not that Adam thought that Katherine was a victim in her present circumstances because he didn't but the girl needed the kind of attention that she couldn't get with Abel and she needed sensitive company, not a crusty, bachelor seaman who took his caretaker for granted. Adam knew that the coming conversation would be assuredly a diplomatic challenge so he took a deep breath before trying to begin.

"It's about Katherine. I think we need to talk about her."

With a wary frown, Abel angled his body toward his grandson and cast his eyes over Adam's chagrined expression. Laying out his concerns as clearly as he could, Adam worked his way through the conversation with all the delicacy he possessed. His grandfather seemed to respond well to the honest concerns and even conveyed several of his own that were picked apart to be analyzed at length. Adam also had several things to speak of that shocked Abel upon hearing them. One of them was the incident that had happened out in the garden those nights before. Adam hesitated at telling that particular story but he felt that was the only way to get the gravity of Katherine's state of mind across to his grandfather. While Abel sat rooted to his seat, Adam decided to go one step further in his disclosure of his opinions regarding the girl's past. He hinted at the lack of attention that Katherine had endured over the past years and Abel wasn't too happy about that insinuation. However, upon hearing Adam's explanation, the captain felt the guilt flooding back at the practical manner in which the facts were presented without any blame being assigned.

"I won't mince words. We forget that she watched her house rage in flames before her very eyes at a tender age, hearing the screams of her parents and siblings without being able to lift a finger to help. I believe her to be suffering from some form of prolonged traumatized state. I remember speaking of such a condition years back with a doctor in Carson City. This mental condition often can plague soldiers once they return home from gruesome battle but children are also specifically susceptible. For years, I have exchanged letters with her and in those pages, I found so much turmoil that would leave me speechless at times upon reading what was going on in that head of hers. I don't know how much she has told you but some of the memories she has told me about was shocking that such a little thing could have to deal with such horrid events from her past. I think she might need a change of scenery, especially after the troubling incident that happened with me. The way she turned on me wasn't the sweet girl you and I have known for years. It was unsettling."

Abel sighed, his heart growing heavy and his head bowed. "I can't talk to her in any depth. I've done my best with the girl but she is such a mystery."

Gripping his grandfather's arm gently, Adam nodded. "I know she is and I don't hold you responsible for her change of attitude. Together, perhaps we can help her. I have a friend in England who would be happy to take her in for a short time. I think that she needs broken from this loop of self-pity before it destroys her sweet spirit and a lovely English home owned by a spirited lady that I've known for many years would do the trick, I think."

Abel thought for a minute and then nodded, pleased with the solution that he had been hoping for to be discovered. "Once I'm gone, she will need new roots and she can find some out there in this vast world. I've been to England countless times and she will be happy there."

Furrowing his eyebrows, Adam took a deep breath. "If you would indulge my whim, I would also like my doctor to check you out and make his own diagnosis tomorrow. Not that I don't trust your own physician but I would really rather get a second opinion before you are proclaimed bound for the afterlife. Doc Martin is a trusted family doctor and he is coming tomorrow to follow up on my back. Would you do that for me?"

Not wanting to give false hope to his grandson but not being able to bear the subsequent disappointment in those dark-hazel eyes so he shrugged. "If it will make your mind more at ease than I will do it."

"Thank you, Grandfather," Adam smiled, "I forgot how stimulating our discussions can be. I pray that the good doctor will find some shred of evidence that will cause the future to become brighter for you and...for me."

Abel had no words in reply, staring into the face that resembled his beloved daughter so much it was haunting. Perhaps he was an old fool to see a resemblance where there at first appeared to be little but more likely was that like Adam, the young man's appearance held many beautiful secrets that one could unlock if only having the patience to find them. True, her skin hadn't been tanned by hours in the hot sun but his was just as smooth and her hair hadn't been quite that dark but his was just as silky. Taking stock of Adam's features, Abel also noticed Elizabeth's perfect ears, the intelligent gleam of her eyes and the stubborn tilt of her jawline outlined on a ruggedly handsome man.

Nodding to himself, Abel reached out and took hold of Adam to bring him into an embrace, clutching the muscled body under his weathered hands. His eyes finding the ceiling, Abel attempted to quell the tears rising in his throat. He was reminded again that his precious Elizabeth had never really left Earth's confines because her angelic face lived on in her son; the very countenance of an angel sitting at the side of the Eternal Throne that translated into this shadowed beauty of physical form that made men and women alike stop and take notice. Gentle and sure in his manner, Adam had been more than blessed by a mother he never had been able to have the pleasure of being held by and the old man felt content that he could now hold this warm, precious life in the stead of his lovely daughter.

I* * * * *I

When Frank arrived back at the Ponderosa with two bags tied on Buck's saddle, the sun was setting, a soft glow awashing the landscape in peach tones. Tying the loyal horse off at the hitching rail, he took the bags and hastened toward the house, unaware of the beauty surrounding him, unlike another person who was busy in the flower gardens off to the side of the home.

Humming a happy tune, Evangeline busied herself while picking only the brightest and purest rose blooms for a flower arrangement that was meant to be a finishing touch on the dining table. While deep in thought, she heard a noise behind her and smiled, hoping it to be Adam, the subject of her daydreaming.

"Darling, is that you? Come see these roses, they are so beautiful!"

There was no response and the smile fell as she turned and was startled to find George Meeker, his saddlebags slung over his shoulder. He was standing a few yards away and looking at her observantly. He didn't say a word but his eyes sparked with an appraising glint that she found most uncomfortable and a chill went up her spine.

"Oh, are you leaving us, Mr. Meeker?" Evangeline asked, trying to paste a genuine smile on her face as she rose to her feet from kneeling and she made a point to straighten her skirts self-consciously. She didn't like how the man was staring at her although a congenial smile did appear on his face.

"Figured I had enough of this wretched ranch for a lifetime so I'll be off. I am in need of a good poker game and a stiff drink of whiskey. That will put me back right as rain," George shrugged, glancing around in apparent disgust at the surrounding beauty until his gaze alighted on her form again. He smiled, his eyes traveling deliberately down over her curves and back to her lovely face. The desire in his gaze made her feel less than fully dressed. He took a step toward her and she stepped back, holding out a hand to be shaken while attempting to remain as business-minded as possible.

"I wish you well, sir. I hope you haven't found your stay here too much of an imposition."

Grinning, the man took her hand and kissed it for a moment too long, looking up into her face while he did so. When she tried to pull away, he tightened his grip as he stood over her. "Not at all, my dear. Your insight, beauty and intelligence has been unmatched by any other lady I have had the pleasure to know. Pity that we couldn't have met under better circumstances when you were, shall we say, unencumbered?"

Evangeline scowled, glaring up at the slim man with disgust. "Take your hands off me or I'll make you regret it."

"And what are you going to do, my beautiful lady?" he sneered, pulling her close and reaching up to stroke her cheek but she jerked her head away, her eyes sparking with anger.

"I said, let me go! "

"Oh, come on, I can love you better than that arrogant, moody gunslinger! Why not give me a chance and I'll prove it to you? Come on, relax, gal..."

"I think she said that she didn't want your attentions, sir. I suggest you do as she say," a gruff voice said from behind and Evangeline had to crane her neck to see who was speaking. A older man looked back at her. He appeared to be in his early sixties perhaps, standing in a wide stance and a rifle held in his hands. He looked vaguely familiar but she didn't have time to think of where she might have seen him.

Under threat of a rifle aimed at his head, Meeker shrugged and held up his hands passively, releasing his grip on Evangeline's hand. She stood rooted to the spot as her eyes darted between the two men. Meeker tried to dissuade her benefactor but the gunman would have none of it.

"I believe you were leavin', mister, so ya better git while the gittin's good and I best not see your disgustin' hide around here again. If I catch you laying another hand on Adam Cartwright's girl, I'll shoot to kill. Savvy?"

Gulping, Meeker backed away, his hands remaining high above his head. "I meant no harm, fellow. I'm leaving, I'm leaving. I am just going to go retrieve my horse from the barn and I'll be off."

The gunman nodded, waving the rifle barrel menacingly. "See that you do. I'll be watchin', make no mistake of that. If you ever show your face again, I'll blow it off."

Meeker disappeared in a cowardly retreat and soon his dust was dancing in the air as he kneed his horse down the road. Evangeline was dumbstruck but recovered her wits in time to catch at the stranger's arm as he turned to leave. "Sir, please let me thank you. Won't you come inside for some refreshment and we can talk?"

"No, miss, I need to be on my way," the man said flatly, keeping his head lowered so his hat shadowed his face in the twilight of evening. Putting a finger to the brim in a respectful gesture, he slipped away into the surrounding trees and she was left alone at last, safe but puzzled beyond reason. With a sigh of troubled relief, she quickly gathered up her flowers and hurried back inside the house.

From the bunkhouse door, a figure stood in the shadows, watching and smiling sadly. Jenkins* nodded to himself then, pleased that though he had wasted his life up to recently, he had come through on his promise to protect Adam Cartwright and Evangeline Williams. He hoped that he hadn't made a mistake to make himself visible to the young woman but he also was confident that his disguise would work. When he had kidnapped her those many weeks before, he had sported a long beard, unkempt hair, greasy skin and dirty clothes. Ever since Ben Cartwright had given him a job on the ranch, Jenkins had bought new clothes, had his hair trimmed close to his head and shaved off his beard. He didn't even recognize himself now and was sure that the girl wouldn't either but to keep matters safe, he better stay out of sight from now on although his constant vigil would never end anytime soon. He took up his rifle and walked outside to find a concealed spot where he could spend an hour or two keeping passive watch over the house. No need to take any chances of that troublemaker coming back. He would have been soothed to know that Meeker was miles away by then and had no intention of coming back.

As Hop Sing was finishing up dinner and the Cartwright family chatted away with Frank and Abel, Evangeline tried to help in the kitchen but was scolded on more than one occasion for drifting as she worried on whether or not to tell Adam about the incident and the stranger but decided in the end to let it slide. No need to upset her fiancée and what could he do now anyway?

* From my story "Smoke Rings In The Dark"


	34. Chapter 34

The blade gleamed, its deadly edge glinting as the last rays of day spilled through Katherine's bedroom window and bounced off the length. At only four inches, the decorative dagger was meant for observation more than anything else but it could still inflict damage. The small weapon had been meant as a gift to Abel but then the giver had discovered that the captain had several similar replicas already.

A bitter smile pulling her mouth into a sad shape, Katherine turned the elegant knife between her fingers, remembering her keen disappointment at finding that her gift would have been worthless and she pondered on the irony, considering that the feeling had dodged her fleeing steps more often as the years had progressed. She tried to remember when she first had begun to take the road of loneliness that now had brought her into this despair but her mind was too numb to focus. A tear trickling down her cheek, she tested the sharpness with her fingertip. Laying the dagger back into its box, she stared at the wall in front of her and remained unmoving except for another tear falling free from her unblinking eye. A knock sounded on the door and a congenial voice bid her that dinner was being served.

"Thank you, I will be down directly," she answered, listening to the retreating footsteps. Something about that voice sounded familiar but she didn't pause to grasp the connection. Reaching down to pick up the oblong box, she stashed it in her bag and walked to the vanity, sitting down on the stool in front. Straightening her hair and checking the rest of her appearance, she hesitantly made eye contact with the apparition staring back at her. She took a deep breath, calming her racing heart and she nodded once, far from peaceful in her decision but resolved nonetheless. A peculiar yet still gentle smile wisped about her mouth as she decided to wait until after dark. Just one more time...she needed to see Adam's sweet face before...well, no need to think of that now. Her dinner awaited and so was the last hours of her life.

I* * * * *I

"Joe, is she coming down?" Adam asked, looking up from his seat by the table when his younger brother came bounding down the stairs.

Joe shrugged and plopped into his chair. "She said she'll be down in a second. Angie? What are we having for dinner? The smells from the kitchen have been torture all day!"

Dressed in a dress of brilliant red, the fabric laden with silver embroidery that made her hair appear as black as night, Evangeline smiled as she placed a bowl of mashed potatoes on the table next to Adam. "Tender roast beef, compliments of the master, and candied carrots, mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls and strawberry shortcake for dessert," she squeezed Adam's shoulder, "Your favorite, sweetheart."

"You're too good to me," Adam replied, giving her a wink as she whisked back into the hall.

"Adam, you chose well," Ben commented with a grin, turning to Abel who nodded while chuckling with delight.

"My daughter is a woman of many hidden talents, just like her mother," Frank contributed fondly, taking his napkin in hand and snapping it onto his lap.

"I agree that you're marrying one heck of a wife, brother, but thank our lucky stars that we get to benefit from it too! She's one good cook and paired up with ole Hop Sing, this is going to be meal I'll likely never forget!" Hoss laughed, his blue eyes twinkling as his hands clapped together and rubbed vigorously.

Laughter drifted up to Katherine as she descended the stairs, gripping the railing until her knuckles were white. Nausea tore through upon seeing her two favorite men sitting oblivious to her presence and her knees got weak but she steadied herself, holding her head high and squaring her shoulders as she walked towards the table. All six men turned their eyes to her and she hesitated, standing rather uncertainly by the settee.

"Is it too late to join you, gentlemen?"

Joe smiled, thinking that the girl was most attractive, possessing large eyes and petite features that made her look like a lost calf wandering aimlessly through a field of wildflowers. The mass of red hair flowing about her shoulders also was most appealing and he was intrigued. Having briefly met the girl on only a few occasions and never for long, he was delighted to be able to observe her considerable beauty. He rose with a charming grin, coming to her side and gently taking her elbow into his grasp.

"Welcome, Miss Williams, may I hold your chair for you?"

Her confused eyes looked up into his twinkling green orbs, surrounded by a incredibly handsome young man that she vaguely remembered to be called "Joe", and she found her breath taken away. Likewise, she hadn't taken much notice of him until this moment and found herself feeling attracted. But when she glanced unconsciously to Adam, he was watching with interest and she stiffened, pulling her elbow away from Joe's grasp.

"Thank you, but, no, Joseph. I can find my own way as usual."

Puzzled by the sudden ice in her voice, Joe stood aside and shrugged at Ben before retaking his seat. Katherine sat numbly in the nearest vacant seat, unfortunately the one across from Adam who tried to catch her eye but she kept her head lowered so to avoid his intensity. Evangeline appeared again and paused in her stride upon seeing the girl but composed herself and placed the roast on the table, in front of Ben for carving. She sat next to Adam, giggling at a quiet comment he made and she kissed his cheek, being sure to do just that when Katherine was looking their way. The girl's face remained neutral and Evangeline was confused, thinking that an open display of affection would pique a sour reaction but the test hadn't worked. Oh, well...maybe Katherine had gotten the point of the warning earlier and intended to leave Adam alone in a romantic sense. That was all Evangeline wanted so if she got that, in her mind, harmony could be achieved. Pushing all hostile thoughts away, she began serving the meal and laughing with her father and in-laws.

On Katherine's part, pure agony had shot through her upon seeing Adam in the company of the beautiful woman again. Her hands ached to touch his face, her lips burned with the desire to whisper her love into his ears and her own ears resonated with his unspoken responses of love for her. Her body screamed out, pleading with her to move, either to run or to tear Evangeline Williams asunder but, she told herself that none of that mattered anymore. Her problems would melt away soon enough and at least Adam would be well-taken care of. In silence, she accepted a plate of food and pushed its contents around listlessly, not tasting any of the fine cuisine and it all stuck in her throat so that she soon pushed the plate away. The warm chocolate of her beloved's voice spoke to her at one time and she quailed away from it, not even hearing what he said, so deep was her pain.

Though thoroughly enjoying the company of his loved ones, Adam was deeply concerned upon keeping an calculating eye on his cousin during the meal. Only once did she meet his gaze and when she did, he felt sorrow. She was pale and her eyes seemed haunted. At one point, he smiled and tried to engage her in conversation but she ignored him, her face neutral and unfeeling. The other diners, all except Joe, seemed to be most happy to ignore the girl. Adam was amused at the way his younger brother couldn't keep his eyes off the young, red-haired beauty all evening. Yes, Joe was smitten once again...maybe this was just what the troubled girl needed, a fresh-faced young man who was more than interested, obviously.

After dessert was enjoyed, Katherine was quick to excuse herself before Adam had a chance to talk with her. He regretfully watched her as she strode around the table to her grandfather, kissing the top of his balding head and hugging his neck lightly. Her presence going unnoticed, she was gone, striding toward the stairs with her back straight. Adam thought it odd when she turned with her hand on the banister and looked straight into his eyes from across the room. Her bottom lip trembled but her gaze never quivered until she turned, gathered her skirts carefully in her hands and ascended up out of sight.

Evangeline saw the frown that crossed Adam's face when he stared unseeingly at his plate and she leaned into his ear. "Is everything alright, Adam?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes...yes," Adam said, dragging his eyes around to Evangeline's questioning face. "Did you notice how distracted she was? Do you think I need to go talk to her?"

"No," she replied a little too quickly, then realizing how callous that sounded, "What I mean is that I did notice but perhaps she only needs some time to herself."

"You may be right. I only feel frustrated that I can't seem to help her cope with the demons in her past. I feel for her but, frankly, I'm frustrated. Except for Abel's and my idea to send her abroad. I do hope that she will agree."

"That is a wonderful idea for her to find another place to call home for a time. She will certainly be a changed person, I should think."

Adam smiled then, happy that she agreed with his idea. He grinned. "Would you take a walk with me? I'm...well, dying to have you all to myself, darlin'."

Looking into the hazel eyes filled with innocent need, Evangeline found herself in a quandary. Every fiber in her body rebelled against helping that girl but she fought to remember that Adam was only trying to do what he thought was right. She took a deep breath. "You really shouldn't be straining your back and its cool outside tonight..."

"Oh, my back is right as rain at the moment," Adam snorted, rolling his eyes, "And besides, can't I take a moonlit stroll with my favorite gal? What do you say, sweetheart? Please?"

Doubt fading, Evangeline smiled with a surrendering exhale and nodded to which Adam grinned, rising stiffly to hold her chair as she stood. He offered his arm and the young couple moved to the credenza and grabbed warm wraps on the way out, leaving the rest of the men to talk amiably over brandy glasses.

"The night is beautiful, isn't it, Adam?"

Evangeline smiled, feeling her betrothed's hands placing her green cloak about her shoulders as she took in the view of a million stars twinkling on an indigo sky, clear except for a stray wisp of fog dodging the trunks of countless ponderosa pines on the horizon. She sighed, turning into the warm man at her side and smelling the familiar scent of his cologne. Adam held her gently, cradling the precious woman he had chosen as his own. Tipping her chin up, he stared into her face, his eyes bright, almost feverish, as he leaned in to kiss her tenderly. She let him take control, only pressing against him when he pulled her closer. Her hands moved under his coat, traveling around his waist slowly until they clasped tightly at the small of his back. He pulled his head away, drinking in the sight of her then diving back in for a more ardent kiss, his lips hardening as his loving passion grew, the momentum leaving her desperate for air. When he felt her begin to pull back, he let her although he still held her within the circle of his arms.

His voice was husky and breathless as he gave her a quick peck on the lips, "I don't know about you but I am tired of having to stop showing you how much I love you, time after time after infuriating time..."

Having the grace to blush a pretty pink, she lowered her eyes and leaned her forehead on his shoulder. "Darling, never think that I don't adore you but...I...I am nervous about Saturday...please tell me that there's nothing to be afraid of. Can you do that for me? Adam, I...I love you but I am scared of what it will be like..."

Frowning , Adam drew back and looked into her face, pain pricked his heart upon seeing the fear that flitted through her blue eyes. He was silent as he led her by the hand to Marie's rose garden, drawing her down onto the bench shrouded by sweet blooms. Raising a hand, he ran the back of his fingers down the side of her face. She gazed at him in wonder, unsure as to what he planned to do next but not caring enough to break the spell. He inched closer along the length of the bench to gather her close into his arms. Tracing the fullness that was her lips, he leaned in again for a kiss but not a mere meeting of bodies as before. He called upon every ounce of tenderness that he possessed as his fingers stretched out to cradle her face. Smiling against her mouth, he could feel the residual tension fade from her person and it was she who suddenly threw her arms around his neck to hold him tight. When they drew apart, she fell against his chest, unknowing of what power was possessing her soul. Stroking her hair, he pressed her head close to his body and his eyes shone with unshed moisture as he struggled to put together enough words for a full sentence. Lifting her face to meet his eyes, he smiled.

"That night will only be about you, my dearest one. Only you, with only me, under the roof of our home. What you just felt? That is all you will experience in unlimited measure. The hours will be endless, going as slow as you wish. Like the roses all around here, you are a fragile gift to me and only deserve to be cherished."

Her eyes searching his deeply, Evangeline only had the presence of mind to nod before she slipped into his grasp for a hug and there they stayed. Reluctantly, she drew back and composed herself before granting him a full smile. Opening her mouth to respond, the spell was then broken by Adam's wince as he tried to stand and fell back to the bench, a look of pain passing over his face. She was immediately on guard as he moved a hand to behind himself.

"Adam! Adam, what's wrong? Your back?"

He nodded tightly and tried to smile but the pain was becoming strong already. "I'm...sorry...to ruin...the moment..."

Working quickly, she stripped off his coat, laid it on the packed ground and begin working on his shirt. "Oh, hush, you did nothing of the kind. I need to take care of you now and see how well I learned the techniques from the good doctor."

Though her hands were shaking, her voice was firm as his shirt came off and not a moment too soon. A sheen of sweat beaded his brow as the first spasm took hold but he held fast against crying out. Through the haze, he felt Evangeline's hands on his face, the annoying hair around his eyes being brushed back as her voice entreated him to relax.


	35. Chapter 35

"Sweetheart, stay with me! I could go get your father or I can try to help you on my own. Do you trust me?"

Opening his eyes, Adam shivered as another spasm hit. "A...al...ways. Might as...well give...you practice...huh?"

Evangeline shook her head, laughing nervously. "This isn't the time to be sarcastic, handsome. Can you slip to the ground for me? Slowly, slowly...that's it, darling...aim for your coat I spread out here..."

Going to his knees and then falling forward to rest on his elbows, Adam groaned aloud, his shoulders tensing as he tried to get his body to work. His back was screaming, alive with ripples of pain that could be seen running under his quivering skin. Evangeline gulped as she crumpled the shirt and raised Adam's head to pillow the hard ground. She wanted to call for help but knew that then everyone would come charging from the house and that would startle him horribly so she fell back on her nurse's intuition. Pulling his arms above his head, she wrapped his fingers around one of the stone bench legs. A thought springing up, she also grabbed a handkerchief from her bodice, rolled it up into a tight tube and coaxed it between Adam's clenched teeth to protect his tongue in case he bit down too hard during the pain.

Adam was grateful for the control she was showing and his breathing evened somewhat as the seconds passed but still he felt an almost palpable level of terror. During these episodes, he was usually reduced to an out-of-body experience as his body took hold, raining down excruciating pain upon his mind. The most frightening part was that he was helpless to help himself. Seemingly, all he could do was watch from his trapped vantage point as his muscles jerked and his limbs twisted, trying to find traction on any firm surface to stave off the assault. He was a man accustomed to taking care of his own troubles but these situations were so far out of his control that he couldn't process what to do.

His breathes now became quick and frequent, his lungs gasping for air as he began to feel alone and he began to spiral into a cacophony of silent screams that roared in his ears as he held them back with all his strength. A small sob caught in his chest, his eyes searched the ground in front of him for a relief that seemed would never come. His face became slick with sweat and just when he was about to give in to that lonely nightmare to come...soft hands stroked the back of his head and traveled down to his neck, nimble fingers soothing his terrified spirit and he calmed almost instantly. The human contact centered his reality and the panic he had begun to feel abated, replaced by a duty to help Evangeline as much as he could. Then he heard her sweet voice and it was all he could do not to begin weeping. This caused him a moment of silent laughter at his own expense for he felt utterly pathetic.

"Adam, are you still with me?" Evangeline asked fearfully as she finished her preparations, allowing an exhale to pass her lips when he nodded. His groans grew louder and she winced but began to speak soothingly as her hands started to work into the center of his pain, "The doctor said it is very important for you to breath, my love. Count the inhales and exhales, one after the other. Focus on my hands...on my fingers...latch onto that feeling, darling, and keep breathing. I'll work as fast as I can. That's it, please continue to breathe slowly and measure the timing," she urged, "one...two...three, and one...two...three...and, one..."

He struggled to focus on the sound of her voice and only what she was whispering in his ear. She spoke quietly, soothing him as her fingers worked their magic. Unlike the last time at the doctor's office, she didn't hold back as she dug her palms into his body, hard and deep, traveling up his spine, over his shoulders and focused specifically on the hard knots in his lower back. Calling upon her experiences as a war hospital nurse, she forced some emotional distance between herself and the man under her. As much as it stabbed into her soul, she ignored his groans and yelps but still, when he began to sigh with relief, she let out the breath she had been holding.

As the pain leveled off without any overpowering bursts, Adam spit out the tube and released his hold on the bench, resting his head fully on the makeshift pillow. "Ahhh, that...feels so...good. Could you...go off to the left side?"

Evangeline tested a spot but there was no reaction so she moved up and just under his left shoulder blade. He jumped under her touch and a hiss came from between his teeth but he pushed up into her fingers to provide extra stimulation, a good sign that he had the ability to do so. She continued for what seemed like hours, her hands beginning to cramp from the exertion until Adam shakily pushed himself up and over so that he was laying on his back. Finding it difficult to speak in the wake of his exhaustion, he felt for her hand and clutched the soft limb between his grip, his eyes closed as the heaving of his chest gradually abated.

Evangeline managed to steady her own heart. Ripping her cloak off, she covered him with the warm fabric to keep the night chill away. She knelt over him, running her fingertips through his damp hair as he continued to breathe deeply. "Darling...sweetheart, look at me. Tell me how you are feeling."

Adam struggled to open his eyes and forced a smile. "The spasms are over and I don't feel any worse than I have been. I feel more foolish than anything. I'm sorry for all this. Oh...I...I feel so d..dizzy..."

Evangeline frowned, turning his head slightly towards herself. His gold-hazel eyes were looking at her but were unfocused as he blinked. Delicately, she used her fingers to close his eyelids and she kissed his forehead."You mustn't worry," she whispered calmly, "and you must lie still. I have got to go for help. I can't assist you up by myself and I can't do anything else from here."

Evangeline moved to rise but he reached out blindly, his heart beginning to race again as he entreated, "No, please! I only need to rest here until I stop feeling lightheaded. Please stay with me...I can't do this without you. I don't want to be alone..."

Surprise tilting her pretty head to the side, she settled back to the ground and tenderly stroked his hand while he measured his breathes and soon was able to open his eyes, wonder filling them as he reached up to cup the side of her face.

"You were incredible," he croaked out, in complete awe.

Evangeline only smiled, shrugging but feeling that there wasn't anything to be said in return. After a few more minutes, Adam felt ready to get up which was a process to complete. She wanted to get assistance but he refused, not wanting to alarm his family more than he had already over the past year. He was able to pull himself back onto the bench and sat against the back, catching his breath. She helped him into his shirt, buttoned it for him and his black coat was next, that being fastened also. The green cloak was last around his shoulders, despite his protests that he was warm enough. She only smiled, knowing that he was feeling better if he could argue. Taking his arm around her slim but sturdy shoulders, they walked or rather shuffled back to the house. Adam masked his pain well upon hearing the jesting questions directed at the two of them and he merely said that he was tired and was going to bed.

Taking his nightly cue, Hoss rose to help his injured brother up the stairs to bed and Evangeline followed. She tried to keep the anxiety out of her face as she waited outside Adam's room while Hoss assisted Adam in undressing; the black clothes were stripped off and replaced only by a pair of soft drawers. As was customary every night, Hoss also gently slathered Adam's sore back with the ointment sent along by the doctor. When Hoss was finished, he smiled, bidding his brother goodnight and stepping outside. Evangeline felt free to go in at that point but left the door ajar and Hoss stayed close by in the hallway, both of them knowing without discussion that propriety would demand a chaperone nearby.

When Evangeline entered the darkened room, she smiled and came around to take a seat on the edge of the bed. Adam was lying on his side, the blanket pulled up to his chest and a dreamy smile softened his features in the dim light while he watched her every move. She spent time fussing over the blankets and making sure that he had enough pillows to ease his body. His smile never wavered during this and when she finally met his gaze, she felt a flutter at the love that could be seen there.

Reaching for his hands, she cradled the long fingers in her smaller ones and looked up earnestly into his face. "Are you going to be able to sleep, dearest, or should I get Hop Sing to make some of his warm tea? It may do you good and make you stay under."

Adam shook his head and a lengthy yawn gripped him, his eyelids already hooded from the desire to succumb. Burrowing his head deeper into his favorite pillow, he whispered faintly, "I will be fine now. Thank you for everything you have done for me, my angel...you are so good to me...so lovely...I...couldn't live...without...I don't...deserve..."

Tears sprang to her eyes as his head lulled and he was lost to the world, hopefully slipping into beautiful dreams, the only kind that a fragile soul like his should ever endure. Tracing his high cheekbones, she leaned in to kiss his forehead one last time before she rose to leave. Coming out into the hall, she saw Hoss standing there, his legs crossed as he leaned against the wall with his hands deep in his pockets. He stood straight when she exited.

"Is he asleep?"

"Yes, he'll sleep the night, I think," she replied with fatigue, "Would you give my regrets to Joe, Ben, Poppa and the Captain? I am exhausted and really want to go to sleep myself."

"Sure, I'll let 'em know for you," Hoss responded kindly, brushing her arm with concern, "Are you alright? If I may say so, you look kinda pale and shaky. Can I get you anythin'?"

Evangeline gave a quiet laugh to shrug off her own exhaustion, not wanting to discuss what had happened in the garden. "I only need a good night's sleep and I'll be replenished. Thank you, Hoss, for all of your help. Adam is so lucky to have a man like you for a brother and I hope that you will think of me as a sister to you from now on. If I ever need assistance, I know that I can always count on you."

Hoss blushed at the praise, mumbling something humble as he turned to step down the stairs but the smile she gave him as she walked away warmed his tender heart. She closed her bedroom door and leaned her back against the supporting wood, her head back and eyes closed. She hadn't felt this tired in some time and moved to the bed, bouncing on it face down. Not bothering to remove the red dress, she was soon fast asleep. Dreams of hazel eyes and a cupid-bow mouth washed through her serene form and a smile touched her beautiful face as she slept on.

I* * * * *I

The sun disappeared completely and the landscape fell asleep, the wild things taking cover in their burrows and trees while prowling predators awoke, moonlight reflecting in their bright eyes. Deep shadows lengthening until each room was indistinguishable from the next, the Ponderosa grew quiet as its own inhabitants found blessed refuge in their beds. The stars shone down from their thrones to peek in each window; a handsome man with silver hair snored quietly, a pacific but sizable man snored none too gently, a slim young man with the face of an angel lay with an arm thrown across his face, an obsidian beauty of a man moaned lightly as he fell deeper into exhausted rest, an alluring young woman lay atop the covers and sighed pleasurably, an old man threshed restlessly before relaxing, a distinquished man with a trimmed beard was motionless in his bed and below, in a room off the kitchen, a loyal little man turned on his side and wiggled his head happily into his pillow. Each sleeper sighing in their slumber and dreaming of private wants and regrets, only one person remained awake in her room beside her father's.

The beautiful girl sat in a rocking chair, tiny hands listlessly resting in the lap of her nightgown and sad eyes staring at the small, oblong box on the bedside table. An hour passed without any movement of her body, not even a nudge to give life to the chair, but when the lonely hoot of an owl sounded off outside the window, the girl jumped in fright. Her eyes wide, she sank back into her seat with a shaky sigh. She blinked rapidly and returned her gaze to the box that, on first glance, seemed so benign but within held a dark secret. Summoning her courage, she rose slowly and reached out shaking fingers to clasp the article to her waist. Taking a deep breath and holding her head high, she walked to the door and opened it, peering out into the hallway. No one appeared to be awake and the house was quiet. Cautiously, she ventured forth, leaving the door ajar. She moved nimbly further down the way, pausing at one of the closed doors. Turning the knob, she slipped inside and stilled immediately. Leaning against the doorknob, she waited until her breathing evened as she spent what seemed like hours watching the man in the bed.

Beautiful while in repose, Adam lay peacefully without a care in the world, it would seem, his deliciously bare chest rising and falling with his breath. His face was innocently open to the wonders of dreamland and when he sighed, his mouth became slightly ajar. Thick, dusky lashes rested on his cheeks and the faint moonlight shining through the window filtered out any impurities in his skin, giving his face and shoulders a smooth, honeyed appearance. His countenance was breathtaking but he remained sweetly unaware of his allure.

In awe, Katherine took a deep breath, swept away by her own daring at being in this masculine room with Adam lying so close by. But reminding herself that she had no time to dally further, she inched closer and stood above him, flickering her eyes over his form. Tears watered her cheeks as she reached out a trembling hand to rest fearfully on one of his lying atop the quilt. The warmth of his large hand gave her courage for what was to come and she felt peaceful for the first time that day. Leaning in close, she pressed her lips tenderly to his forehead. Upon getting no reaction from him, she grew bolder despite herself, kissing his cheek and working closer to the prize but as she hovered over his lips to steal a heartful of air from his lungs, she paused abruptly.

Feeling the breath wafting from his nostrils and smelling the natural scent of his skin, she knew in her heart that she couldn't bear to degrade him or his kindness by acting against his will. He already had acted aloof ever since she had thrown herself at him that night days before and now, if he were to wake up, he would hate her for what she had done already. She knew where she wanted to be at the last and it wasn't here, to be found by her love in the morning. She knew she had no time but still granted herself one more moment to say goodbye, gazing into his face before she retreated from the bed, a sad smile crossed her face as her hand drifted from his body. Hardly being able to make her way from the tears stinging her eyes, she closed the door behind her and struggled to not stumble toward the stairs.

Adam winced as he awoke, glancing around his room and wondered absentmindedly what had brought him out of his bliss. He shifted in pain, easing onto his back and trying to find a new position that was more comfortable. Feeling flushed under all the coverings, he groaned and the sound tainted the silence as he tried to rid himself of what was bothering him. He couldn't seem to dislodge them and his threshing increased until the sheets finally were pulled down to his waist. His upper body exposed to the coolness of the evening, the relief was instant. The curtains fluttered at his window and the gentle breeze wafted over his face, cooling his glistening neck and caressing his chest soothingly.

Laying his head back down, he sighed and was soon slipping away again, yielding to the painless darkness looming ahead. Unaware of the consternation he would feel if he only knew what was happening outside the house, he allowed his quick mind to carry him far away to a homey fireplace looming near where he found himself to be trapped within an embrace with an angel in white satin.


	36. Chapter 36

Coming down to the bottom of the stairs, Katherine staggered towards the dining room, using the settee and any other furniture along the way to support herself. Turning left, she managed to grope her way down the hall and into the kitchen. One hand clutching the knife box to her chest, her other hand groped blindly in cupboard after cupboard until her fingers closed around a small bottle. Relieved upon reading the label, she set the nutmeg on the counter and rummaged in the icebox for the jar of milk. She found a glass and a spoon before returning to grab the bottle. Stirring two spoonfuls of the brown dust into the milk, she gulped the liquid down in a few gulps. A dry cough threatened to wrack through her lungs but by taking deep breaths, she was able to stave off the attack. Her nerves were calming after taking the home remedy but she still wondered briefly why, during the past the few days, it always made her feel so tipsy and her mouth feel like a desert. Ignoring the nausea that roiled in her stomach, she clutched the box tighter and drifted towards the door, stepping out into the cool night air.

The breeze was refreshing and whispered in the trees, playing until each leaf rustled into song. The moon, shining down from between misty clouds, had began its monthly waning into a soft crescent and gave off only a faint glow. The light barely lit the way of the girl walking forlorn into the yard. Katherine's ankle-length nightgown whipped in the wind and her mass of red hair blew about her petite face, making her appear more as a pale but angelic ghost floating across the grass. She walked numbly, her eyes containing no emotion as each bare foot settled silently in front of the other, down the trail around the back of the house until the small stand of pine trees came into view just ahead. Their trees, her and Adam's.

Stones drew blood from Katherine's tender, young feet but the pain went unnoticed as she broke into a frantic run; sobs rising in her chest and threatening to tear her soul to pieces. The box fell to the ground as she flung her arms around one particular tree, her tears soaking into the rough bark. She remembered the warmth of her beloved's body as he had stumbled back into this same tree. His mouth subtle, his lips soft and his velvet skin quaking at her touch, he had moaned.

Caressing the spot on the tree where his head had rested, she called upon the memory of black hair tousled by the wind and she could almost feel the vibrations that had risen in his chest but his eyes...they had been filled with horror and something else too. Pity. He had pitied her when she had been trying to show him how much she needed his strength and protection. Why couldn't he see that? She only wanted to be understood by someone and to be coddled in an embrace. She yearned to find out how fast a loving heart could race along side a beloved's and she longed to feel protected against a broad chest. Protected...yes, that is what she wanted the most. So alone and so scared, running from some unseen terror, she couldn't see a foreseeable end to her pain...except for the dagger's blade. But even then, she wouldn't have anything she really wanted.

Sliding to the grass in a crumple, her slim body shook violently, so deep was her sorrow. She drew her knees to her chin and hugged her legs tightly, whimpering in grief as a proverbial door was unlocked deep inside that she had worked for many years to barricade. The walls falling, wretched filth poured forth, nightmares cascading and tumbling her mind between them until Adam's face came out of the pit, his countenance making the pain fade behind him.

Only...a sneer was twisting his mouth rather than a genuine smile. He started to laugh, his handsome head thrown back; his eyes dissolved eerily and was replaced by hot flames. His taunting laughter melted into the screech of an inferno. His combed hair transformed into the collapsing roof of a two-story house, flames shooting out the top towards a starless sky. His faultless nose blurred and a red door taking its place. At last, his full mouth and sensuous lips also were whirled up into the raging purgatory and only his blameless, white teeth were all that remained of his once onyx seductiveness.

Too terrified to cry out, Katherine stared into the night and her breath stilled, lungs freezing in their desperation for air as those beautiful teeth were deposed by white rose blooms, innocently bordering a path to the burning house. Similar roses clinging to an arbor mere yards away from her face came into view and she gasped. The frightening images receded until, once again, she could feel the cool air hitting her face and the natural sounds of the night soothed her somewhat. She moved to her feet in one graceful motion, her cheeks wet with her grief. Bending down, she opened the discarded box and withdrew the dagger. The blade flashed as she closed her hand into a fist around the ornate handle and walked toward Marie's rose garden.

Stepping inside, she turned slowly inside the collection of arbors and trees, taking in the dozens of blooms all around. She reached out a hand to touch the delicate petals of one perfect white rose. The bloom wobbled at her touch and gave itself up to her will as the dagger sliced it free of its red and pink companions. Bringing the rose to her nose, she couldn't help the smile that touched her lips. The dagger loosened from her grasp and fell to the ground so she could grasp the stem with both hands. Eyes closed and breathing in the delicacy, she began to sway to a musical number only she could hear. The notes resonated on the wind and trickled through her soul, pulling her deeper and deeper into their aura of inducement.

A sharp prick of pain disturbed the soundless dance and Katherine's reverie was cut short. Wild-eyed, she brought her right hand up to her face. A bead of blood ran down her index finger from a tiny jab mark made by an unforgiving thorn. Motionless, Katherine stared at the cut then transitioned her gaze to the rose. A wailing shriek, one of pure anguish, was ripped from her throat and pierced the night air. The silence of night came through as she collapsed into a heap, slipping into the comfort of darkness while the white rose fell from her limp fingers to rest by her body.

I* * * * *I

Sitting bolt upright in bed, Joe passed a shaky hand over his face and glanced around his room in confusion. Wondering if he was the only one who had heard the bloodcurdling scream that only a woman, a girl or a child could have uttered. Someone was in trouble...and his heart quickened, thinking of three souls whom were supposed to be sleeping mere walls away. He bounded out of bed, struggled into a pair of pants and a shirt. Taking his boots in hand, he left his feet bare and tiptoed out into the hall, heading straight for Evangeline's door. He knocked softly, standing nervously and shifting from foot to foot until the door opened a crack.

"Joe, is something amiss?" Evangeline asked, her voice faint with sleepiness. "Nothing is wrong with Adam, is there?"

"No, nothing like that but I heard a noise and wanted to make sure you were okay. Sleep well, sorry I woke ya up."

"Do you need my help?"

"Nah, I probably just heard a coyote outside or something. Goodnight."

Perplexed but losing interest, Evangeline merely shrugged, a yawn engulfing her senses and she shut the door to return to her bed. The smile on Joe's face faded immediately and he spun around to look into Jody's room. The boy was sound asleep, his breathing even and his face relaxed in happy dreams. Joe's heart sank as he went to Katherine's door and found it ajar with no sign of the girl inside. The bed was neat and tidy, suggesting that she had never went to bed in the first place. He made for the stairs, making sure to not disturb his exhausted family any further.

There was no sign of Katherine downstairs although there was a dirtied glass in the kitchen sink, suggesting that she had perhaps come down for a drink. A draft drifting over the floor brought Joe's attention to focus on the kitchen door which was hanging open an inch or two. He stepped outside and the wind ruffled his hair as he studied the ground. Footprints made by small feet were imprinted in the dirt and he tracked them around the back of the house. A box lay opened in the grass and, upon closer inspection, looked to have contained a knife of some sort. He was loathed to think of the possibilities attached to the missing weapon and he began to call out to her softly, listening for silent seconds in between. He searched, his concern turned into panic until he was closer to the rose garden and happened to see two feet surrounded by what looked like the hem of a nightgown.

His breath catching in his chest, Joe cried out her name as he ran to her side. She was unconscious, a dagger lying beside her and he reached out tentatively to turn her over into his arms. Relieved that she appeared to be unharmed, he brushed the red locks back from her face and was once more struck by her beauty. Her long lashes resting against her creamy skin, the petite set of her chin and the luster of her lips made something tug in his soul. He gathered her closer, lifting her slight body into his arms. For the first time, he realized how thin she was. He could feel her backbone pressing quite sharply into his forearm. Hadn't she been eating at all?

Feeling an overwhelming urge to protect her, his heart softened further and he cradled her head against his shoulder as he walked toward the house. Carrying her through the kitchen door, he made his way carefully to the settee and laid his light burden down, propping her head up with a soft pillow. His eyes narrowing, he contemplated what to do next. Going back into the kitchen, he found a clean rag and prepared a bowl of cool water. Returning to her side with the items, he sat on the coffee table and wrung out the rag in the water. Gently, he dabbed her forehead, around her face and made sure to pay special attention to her wrists and hands. Then he laid the cloth to rest on her forehead again and left his hand there to hold the comfort to her skin. To his delight, she began to stir, moaning and her head rolled to face him.

When she opened her eyes, the deep-gray of the large pupils nearly stopped his breathing. He knew he was staring but didn't care. She moved her head and stared back, any number of emotions passing through her eyes. He backed off to give her space and sat up, clasping his hands self-consciously between his knees. He watched as she studied him with confusion then her features puckered up and she began to cry.

"Why...why are you...where am I?"

Joe steadied her as she struggled to sit up but collapsed back into the pillows. "Don't try to move just yet. You're safe, don't worry."

"I don't want to be safe, don't you get it!" she cried, realizing that she had fainted before being able to go through with her plan. The image of the inferno returned and she felt an overpowering urge to run in whatever direction would get her away from the nightmare. She pushed Joe's hands away and tried to rise but only managed to begin to fall forward, into Joe who caught her.

"Sit down before you hurt yourself and I'm not leaving until I know exactly what's going on. Why were you outside in the middle of the night and what were you doing with that dagger? Something was bothering you during dinner and you need to get it out before you do real harm."

Katherine shook her head repeatedly, fighting his grip on her arms but finally she gave up and fell against his chest, sobbing so hard that she began to cough.


	37. Chapter 37

Unsure as to what compelled her to trust Joe Cartwright, Katherine nevertheless found herself proceeding to blurt out the mangled mess she felt to be her soul. Between hiccups and sobs, she told him everything; the traumatic night when her family had perished in the house fire, the days she spent wandering the streets of Boston until found by a stranger, the first days when adjusting to living with a gruff though kind seaman, the thrill of going to girls' boarding school, the challenge and trials of then entering into the upscale ladies' college but she couldn't continue speaking after that.

Patient to wait for her to gain composure, Joe tightened his arms around her and, without warning, she laid her head down on his shoulder. He smiled, listening as her story took another turn. The smile soon fell as he felt a knot forming in his throat, hearing of the past year filled with loneliness and worry for her guardian. The pain in her soft voice brought compassion to his eyes although slight amusement followed when he heard of the lifelong infatuation with Adam and even that fateful night she had flung herself at the older man. Under normal circumstances, he would have either felt jealous, irritated or let a chortle slip but not this time. He didn't see a young woman who was fickle but one that had a wealth of intelligence and capacity to love in that pretty head of hers. It was obvious to him that she had been desperate for a very long time and hadn't had anyone who realized that.

After Katherine finished her entire confession, she had never felt so relieved to have her nightmares and memories off her mind for a few minutes but she also felt utterly empty and only wanted to sleep. Numbed to the world, she drifted off with her head slipping down to rest in the crook of Joe's elbow. She breathed a long, genuine sigh and relaxed into his body. He smiled again, reaching up to brush the hair from her face before standing and pulled her up into his embrace. Again cradling her head against his chest, he carried her up the stairs and to her room. Pulling the covers down on the bed, he laid her down and tucked them tight about her thin body. Then he pulled a chair over to the bedside and sat down to start his vigil. Not trusting Katherine to not harm herself and unwilling to leave her side, he sank down, his closed fist holding up his drooping head. He wasn't sleepy though, his green eyes watching her intently as she slept on. Her face free from worry as she drifted in oblivion, she was unknowing of the protecting presence of the young man who remained for the rest of the night. He caught a bit of sleep off and on but always he would startle awake to peer at the girl's delicate features and always was he relieved that she continued in peaceful slumber.

Morning came soon, too soon for those who were finding rest in the house. Rubbing his face to loosen the muscles, Joe heard his family beginning to stir in the hallway and the smells of breakfast wafted up through the floorboards. With a sigh, he straightened in his chair and renewed his observation of Katherine as she began to stir under the sheets. With a coo, she raised a hand to rub her eyes vigorously before laying still and apparently waiting for her body to follow her mind into consciousness. He waited silently, a smirk twisting his lips until her eyes opened and a look of surprise crossed her face.

"Oh, you haven't been here all night, have you?" she asked self-consciously, pushing herself up to rest against the headboard.

"And what if I have?" Joe replied, his gaze steady and true.

Katherine blushed deeply, averting her eyes and toyed with a stray thread on the quilt at her waist. "Joe, I...I'm so sorry. I should never have told you all of those things last night. To be honest, I wish you hadn't interfered. It wasn't any of your business."

Joe shrugged, uncaring and also quite smug. "I don't think you understand the gravity of the mess that we are dealing with. I am just as involved in this as you are. You tried to kill yourself."

"And without your colorful presence, I daresay! Leave me alone, you shouldn't even be in here! It's not proper!"

"You are quite the brat, aren't you, Katherine? So full of yourself that you can't see what you are doing to the ones that love you. The things that you've been put through were just terrible and horrible. I couldn't imagine losing my entire family, let alone being so young when it happened but during the rest of the entire story, I heard three constants."

"OH, yes, and what were those?" Katherine tossed her head, crossing her arms defiantly.

Joe scowled, rising to his feet with hands on hips and matching her icy stare. "First, your own strength. Think of it, you wandered on your own for days with no food and no water, until the captain found you. Speaking of whom, your grandfather is the second constant that I heard of during your lifetime."

"He is not my grandfather, only my guardian."

"Stop it! Does it matter? Guardian, grandfather, aren't they practically the same thing? He doesn't say it enough but he loves you, I've saw it in his face when you went to bed last night during dinner. He was disappointed and worried too."

Katherine glanced up at him warily. "But when I came around to kiss him goodnight, he said nothing and ignored me. Why would he then be that caring of me all the time, as you say?"

Joe sighed with frustration, combing his fingers through his hair. "From what Adam has said, the captain has never been one to be long on feelings or emotions. After living with him all these years, I would think that you would know that and have accepted it."

Her eyes filling with tears, Katherine lowered her head again. "I do love him, it's just...I have been so very alone and in need of something but what...I haven't been sure," she shuddered visibly and met his green gaze, "What was the third constant you spoke of?"

Joe's face softened, a queer smile peaking out from his cheeks. "My brother, Adam...he means a great deal, doesn't he?"

"I don't want to talk about him."

"Why not?"

"I just don't," Katherine narrowed her eyes, willing her body to stop trembling. She knew she was cornered but refused to acknowledge it. "Why must you push so? Go away and leave me in peace. Please!"

Shaking his head, Joe sat on the edge of the bed and took her hands in his. She tensed but allowed the contact which encouraged him. The kindness and compassion came over his handsome face again and her heart skipped a beat. He spoke softly, reaching up a hand to cup one of her porcelain cheeks. When she didn't pull away, he said, "I push because I see great things in you. I mean, come on! You are beautiful, smart, strong and young. You could have any future you want and I would hate to see you fall into the mud before you even get started. Self-pity doesn't look good on you anyway. Personally, I would like to get to know you better and we could at least be friends. Don't ya think?"

Katherine couldn't help but smile back; the young man's grin was too contagious to resist. "I suppose. And what you said does make some sense. I was foolish, wasn't I? I am so stupid!"

"No, that is never what I mean. Stop thinking like that! You are special and deserve to hold your head high. Come on, show me."

Quite enraptured, Katherine raised her chin a fraction and when he frowned, she drew her head back until her slender neck was revealed in all its grace. Joe nodded in satisfaction. "That's more like it. I think you need a break from everything, don't you? Why not talking to the captain? I'm sure if you explain somewhat then he would be fine with you going somewhere. An adventure! Maybe even overseas."

"I don't know," she replied doubtfully, pulling her hands from his. "Do you really think I could do anything as bold as all that?"

Joe laughed, a hearty sound to ease the tension. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. Sure, you could do it. You need something to look forward to. You need to find things to do that excite you and maybe one day you will find someone who will appreciate your spirit. I know I already do."

Katherine blushed as she grew self-conscious. "I do not know of that but if I could only feel peaceful at any one moment, I would be heartened."

"You will. Once you take charge of your own life and stop letting that little voice in your head tell you that Katherine is worthless. You are far from having no value. To me, to your grandfather and, of course, to Adam."

Katherine looked away and her face hardened. Rising from the bed, Joe smiled down at her until she turned to him again. Then he said, "I never claim my brother to be an angel but he's always been a pretty good listener. You need to talk with him, the real man and not this fantasy you've cooked up in that pretty head of yours."

Joe turned to leave and made it to the door before Katherine called after him. "And you won't mention any of this or last night to Grandfather or...or Adam then?"

Turning to regard her, Joe shook his head. "It isn't my place and you don't owe me anything but I will be watching you. And I want you to be checked out by the doc when he comes later. No more argument and funny business or I will rethink my promise. Understand?"

Though she didn't smile, Katherine nodded, choosing not to argue and the door closed behind him. She sat in silence, her eyes wide with new possibilities and untried notions. With a surge of energy, she jumped out of bed and ran to the window, looking out onto the clear morning and a small laugh came from her chest. She quickly dressed and tidied her hair. She hurried out of her room, down the back stairs and out the back door in the house. Running around to the stand of trees, she collected the abandoned box and then she ran to the rose garden. With a steady hand, she retrieved the knife and placed it in its cradle. She paused upon seeing the white rose wilting on the ground and she stooped to pick it up carefully. That too she slipped into the box and with as little noise as possible, she walked back around the house and went inside, soon finding herself in her room once more. The box was set deep in the dresser, under the neat stacks of pantelets and blouses, to be forgotten for the time being. Nodding firmly to herself, Katherine then straightened her back and left, intent on joining her family for breakfast for she heard happy voices below that suddenly she felt anxious to join.

When the table came into view, she hesitated, seeing Frank, Abel, Jody, Ben and Joe eating and talking without a care, it would seem. They didn't notice her at first and her resolve began to fail. But when Joe happened to look in her direction, his face lit up. He beckoned her over and held out the chair next to himself so she may sit. Unlike the night before when she had coldly refused his chivalry, she blushed and sat gingerly, giving him a smile. He handed her the dishes of breakfast food and traded stolen glances with her during the rest of the meal.

Observing two young people from behind his water glass, Ben smiled wryly as he observed the change in Katherine's sullen attitude. He knew that his youngest son's charms must be wearing off and he was glad to see her happier. Realizing how beautiful she really was when that lovely smile made her gray eyes twinkle and dimples appear on her cheeks, Ben was surprised. Yes, she was most becoming and Ben couldn't help but wonder if a spark was igniting that may burst into a flame between Joe and this blossoming flower. The father chuckled, spooning a biteful of scrambled eggs into his mouth to be chewed thoughtfully. All these thoughts of young love, including the impending marriage of his oldest son, made him feel as though he was twenty years young once more; when he had first laid eyes upon the beautiful Elizabeth Stoddard, a woman of grace and intelligence. He sighed, buried pain resurfacing along with the fond memories and Abel's presence hadn't helped the discomfort over the last few days.

However, the old sea captain was also entertaining company so Ben decided to put his father-in-law to good use, turning to ask for a few stories about the olden days of sailing on the high seas. A hopeful grin spreading from ear to ear, Jody added his pleas until, with a laugh, Abel complied. He didn't need much coaxing and was soon weaving suspenseful tales of seafaring life that had each person at the table spellbound, Jody especially was caught up in the moment. His food forgotten, the little boy listened with eyes wide and mouth slack upon hearing Abel's gruff voice recounting stories of pirates and raging storms at sea. Hoss came down the stairs in due course and helped himself both to a hearty plate of food and an earful of fascinating stories. Breakfast continued on in kind, all the diners eating and relaxing to enjoy the simplicity of the morning, sunshine shining from the window across the table. Family, good food and the past glories all rolled into one made for a marvelous time and one the Cartwrights richly deserved. Such a jolly meal was being had that the last two members of the family were nearly forgotten but not quite.


	38. Chapter 38

Snuggled deep in the twisted covers of her soft bed, Evangeline awoke to the happy sounds of breakfast in full-swing down below in the dining room. Voices wafted up through the floorboards, a few words distinguishable but most slipped into a steady hum that rumbled into her heart. Content to listen, she closed her eyes and languished against the pillows. A smile wisped about her lips as a close memory drew near. Her mother and father had long held the routine of waking together and talking over cups of coffee until their daughter would join them for the morning meal. She remembered that she used to enjoy the happy wisps of conversation and loving voices those years ago, before she knew what grief was and only the charm of a new day had been on her mind. Tears pricked her eyes and she took a deep breath to quell the ache she felt for her mother's presence. How her father had loved the woman and how Evangeline had adored her too. Perhaps such happiness had been doomed from the start. After all, there weren't any happily-ever-afters, unlike what children's fairy tales promised. Opening her fearful eyes, she thought of her beloved and of the happiness that he had given to her of himself.

 _What if our life together would be cut short down the way?_ she mused, her mind racing with worry. _What if he is ripped from my grasp and I am left all alone, without a husband and without a mother? Poppa would be broken and I would have to raise Jody by myself. What would I do without Adam? How would I live? I would die...NO! I must stop this! Your wedding is tomorrow, you silly girl, and there is so much to do. But...I need to see Adam...I need to know he is alright._

One desire propelling her to break free from such morbid musings, Evangeline kicked off the covers and opened her closet to make a choice between the two dresses hanging there that her father had brought with him the day before. She laid a hand on the right one, a blue dress with a white collar and cuffs, but then her fingers smoothed over to a garment of green silk, white gathers rising high up the back of the neck and framing the narrow neckline that ended in an embroidered bodice. The sheer sleeves were light and airy and the skirt was full, always giving a rustle when worn. She smiled, knowing how much Adam loved her in green and how he enjoyed a pronounced rustle in her dresses.

Her decision was made and she took the dress off the hangar, slipping it on after she had donned a camisole and cinched down her corset, among the other layers of correct undergarments. Splashing a hint of flowery scent on her wrists, she looked at herself in the mirror and admired her own image in glass. The viridan dress hugged her waist to perfection, showing off how tiny her waist was, and her hair was pulled up into a loose bun with tendrils of curls wisping about her face. Leaning forward, she pinched her cheeks to create a rosy glow and deemed herself ready except for one detail. On the nightstand, right where she had left it the night before, the cameo gold locket that Adam had given her lay shining in the morning light. The beautiful scene of green meadows and a cabin nestled in the sheltering crook of rolling hills gave her a thrill of excitement to see her new home during the hours to come. Quickly clasping the gold chain about her neck, she positioned the locket perfectly at her collarbone and whisked out of her bedroom to tiptoe over to Adam's so as not to alert him to her presence.

Nervous, she passed a hand along the side of her coiffure to be sure of its neatness then she tapped softly. Not hearing a response, she tapped again before opening the door just far enough to stick her head in hesitantly. The bed was empty and neatly made to her surprise and she scanned the room to find the object of her worry. Her eyes alighted on Adam, clothed in a red shirt and black pants, sitting by the window in an armchair, his legs crossed with a book in his lap. His back was to her but he appeared to be gazing out of the glass and with something deep on his mind because one hand held the book while the index finger of his other hand rested against his upper lip. A breath later, the hand lowered to the armrest as he sighed deeply, leaning his head back against the support of the chair.

A concerned expression settling on her face, Evangeline slipped in and shut the door, wanting privacy. Irritated now that she had chosen the crisp choice of dress, she walked carefully but he roused and turned his head to see who had invaded his peace. His face softened with a smile and her heart seemed to skip a beat when he extended a hand to her. Without a word, she slipped her fingers into his warm grasp and allowed herself to be pulled in front of him. The book dropped to the floor as Adam held her refined hands between both of his own and his gaze traveled up and down, taking in the dark beauty that was his wife-to-be. His eyes clamping onto hers, he couldn't help the grin that surfaced as a low whistle emanated from his throat.

"Good morning, beautiful," he purred, "You wouldn't be free for a small gathering tomorrow, would you? It is just a small affair and the only requirement is that you wear white. Can I have the pleasure of accompanying your loveliness to the ball?"

"No, my darling," Evangeline said firmly, leaning down to playfully touch a finger to his nose. She ran the tip over his lips, tracing their fullness before smiling into his confused eyes. Her voice lowered into a gentle whisper. "I won't accompany you but I will meet you there. How does that strike your sensibilities?"

"About as fine as that green dress, my lady," Adam grinned, a chuckle rumbling from his chest as she sank to her knees to be at his level.

The concerned worry reappeared on her face as she pressed the back of a hand to his forehead and on the sides of his face. "You feel cool to the touch. Were you able to get some rest last night?

Adam captured her caring hand and kissed the top then he smiled at her. "Slept like a baby, thanks to your ministrations of last night. I'm a little sore this morning but nothing I can't handle. Usually, it takes me a couple of days to feel this good after one of my little incidents but whatever you did worked like a charm."

"That is most likely because of Nurse Molly's trained techniques which you haven't experienced up to now. But, I have a question. You didn't go out of bed by yourself this morning, did you?"

With a shake of his head, Adam chuckled again. "Hoss left minutes ago. He gave my morning massage and insisted upon helping me dress. Satisfied?"

Her critical gaze softening into a fond lightness, Evangeline nodded and reached a hand out to tickle the strong curves of his neck, lingering at the pulse fluttering at his throat. Caressing the wavy black hair at the base of his neck, she pulled his head to hers and claimed a kiss. She drew away for no more than a second, enjoying the look of wonder and desire he had in his eyes before kissing him again. This time, Adam cradled her face in his hand, taking one of her soft, brown spirals between his fingers. Their lips dueled softly, touching briefly and teasing with care, careful to not nip or injure. Hands remained still, cradling one another's faces but content to linger. Devotion was being explored rather than passion as she drew away again, silencing his protests with a finger to his lips. Trailing the tip along his jaw, she cupped his face between her outstretched fingers and smiled daintily.

"Adam, promise me that you will never leave."

"Of course, I could never leave you," he laughed, ducking his head to kiss her again but he was confused when she sat back on her heels, clasping her hands tightly in her lap with her head lowered. When she looked up again, he was dismayed to see tears shimmering in her blue depths. Slipping off the chair tentatively, testing the strength of his back, he went to his knees by her side and pulled her trembling body into his chest as she began to sob, her tears soaking into the red shirt and staining it to the color of darkest blood.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong? What did I say? I'm sorry, I...didn't mean to make you cry..."

"You...you didn't...please, hold me...I need you to hold me," Evangeline buried her head against his deep chest, wrapping her arms behind him to grasp his shoulders. Her tears slowly trickled to a halt but her shaking took much longer to cease.

Adam stroked her hair, pushing her back so she would face him. His thumbs brushed away the wetness as he kissed her forehead, moving his lips down over each of her closed eyes. She sniffed, taking a deep breath as her eyelids flicked open and her eyes beheld the pained face of her beloved. Realizing how much worry and confusion he must be experiencing, she tried to smile and wiped at her cheeks impatiently, willing the tears to not start again.

"I am the one who's sorry, darling, I just...I don't know..."

Taking her hand, Adam drew her close again and rested his mouth against the side of her head. "Shhh, shhhh, don't worry about me. I want to talk about you."

"But I'm so confusing and you wouldn't understand..."

His eyes clouding, Adam remembered another woman who had said those three words on a daily basis until his ears had ached. His grip tightened about his love's frame. "Don't say that. Never say that. True, I may not understand all the time but I will always try because I love you more than my life. I never want you to suffer in silence, my darling. It is stupid and useless of me not to be there for you. We will be husband and wife in less than twenty-four hours after all. We don't have to talk about anything right now...take all the time you need but I'll be here should you feel the need to speak of what's bothering you."

Evangeline sat up and shrugged tearfully. "I am not sure what is bothering me to be honest. One minute, I am happy and the next, I am terrified that I will lose you like..."

"Like who, my love?" Adam prodded kindly, squeezing her hands.

"Momma..." Evangeline whispered, swallowing hard and casting her eyes down. "I miss her so much. She should be here with me today! I need her help in bringing this wedding together. What flowers to use, what shoes to wear...the look on her face when she sees me in her wedding dress. I need her! If she had to pass on, why before I met you? She would have loved getting to know her son-in-law and would have adored who you are, the same as I do," she choked back fresh sobs, "Adam...it...it hurts! Oh, it hurts..."

Instantly, Adam reached out to bundle her close to himself, holding her as she cried out her grief into his neck. A lump formed in his throat as he transitioned his gaze to the picture of his mother on the dresser. He sighed deeply. "I know, my angel...I know."

Needing to give himself some ease, he moved his back against the wall under the window and remained still, content to rub her waist and pause from time to time to give a kiss to her face. He whispered little nothings in her ear, sweet murmurings of his love, and felt her tremble at the solace he was trying his hardest to provide. At length, she grew quiet and the only sound in the room was both of their breathing.

"Dearest?"he ventured, craning his neck to see her face, "Are you alright?"

She melted away, rubbing her cheeks decisively and gracing him with a sad smile. "I was rather emotional, I'm afraid. I do apologize for being so dramatic."

A gentle chuckle brought a smile to Adam's lips as he brushed her cheek with sensitive fingers. "We all deserve a little drama in our lives. God knows that I have had enough of late. You have every right in the world to grieve and you must. Is there anything I can get for you? Some breakfast perhaps?"

"No, I confess to not being very hungry," she sniffed, casting her eyes over his reclining posture for the first time, "Oh, dear, your back. Let's get you into the chair. Come on, no argument."

In silence, he complied with her sensible wishes and carefully rose to slide into the seat again. She fussed around him, slipping a pillow behind him and squeezing his shoulder so he would ease into the comfort. Even though he didn't appear cold, the room was too chilly for her taste so she took a soft blanket and draped it around his shoulders. He watched her without complaint, his hazel eyes failing to read the blank expression on her face as she avoided eye contact. When she had finished her plumping, the faraway smile returned.

"There you are, all warm and toasty, dearest heart. Are you in need of something to eat? We can go down when you are ready or I could bring a tray up. Which would you prefer?"

Adam tried to think of a way to scale the emotional walls she had put up but he thought it wise to play along. Smiling, he caught her hand and squeezed it, pausing long enough for her to look up. "I am not too hungry either just now. How would you fancy a ride into town with Pa and I? We can all dine at The Helping Hand, you can check up on operations there and then we can get on with the final preparations. We really couldn't go without Pa, seeing as how you drafted him as the director of wedding planning."

While blowing her nose on a handkerchief he handed her, Evangeline couldn't help but shake her head with amusement. "If I remember rightly, he volunteered. An excursion does sound like fun but I won't have you bounced about on the road. The doctor is coming later and you must be hear to welcome him. You are still injured and don't make me continually remind you of your duty to stay healthy for the ceremony tomorrow."

A pout made Adam's bottom lip protrude slightly. "Oh, alright, but you should still go, my love, with Pa. Get some fresh air, enjoy the countryside and bring back tales of your escapades. Please go...for me?"

Evangeline stared down at his beseeching face with doubt ingrained in her features. "I don't wish to leave you but I know you are right. I miss the restaurant and really need to put my mind at ease over it. Poppa said the new cooks are doing very well but I want to see for myself. Ben's company will be most appreciated as to the shopping. But...are you certain? What if you have another episode?"

"Hoss will stay close by, I know, but I am really doing so much better. I want you to go have some fun and I insist, Angie," Adam smiled, "I also have a surprise for you. Jody and I were talking yesterday and we came up with the idea to have a housewarming party, or casual get-together really, tonight at The Running J. Only the family and your father, if that is okay."

Evangeline's face lit up at this news and her laugh comforted Adam greatly. "That sounds delightful! Oh, I shall love to see it! Can you and I go early so that we can see it for the first time, just us?"

"Of course, darling, although I thought I wasn't allowed on the road," Adam had a twinkle in his eyes.

Evangeline snorted with derision, not to be trapped into his logic. "An almost two hour journey up mountain trails to town and then back again is a far sight from a quick drive to our home," her eyes were bright with excitement and she began to pace in front of him, "Our home...think of that, Adam! I can hardly wait! You are so good to me, to give me hope right when I needed it. I am so excited and am as jittery as Jody's colt, I daresay! Please, let me get you something to eat or drink or...or perhaps another blanket. Are your shoulders sore at all? I could give them a thorough going-over. Oh, I need to feel useful. I need to do something with this giddiness!"

Adam laughed, feeling quite energized by her spirit. "Calm down before you make yourself ill, my dearest one. As I have tried to tell you time and time again, you have given me more than I can ever repay and what I do is only what I wish with all my heart. I too can't wait to share these special moments with you," his voice lowered into a hushed whisper, "And many more new things to explore are yet to come. You are so precious to me, I hope you won't ever forget that."

Blushing, Evangeline allowed herself to be coaxed onto his lap. She met his kiss halfway, this one desperate and full of promises that flew between their hearts though no words were spoken. None were needed.


	39. Chapter 39

Hand in hand and smiles being graced upon one another, the betrothed couple came down the stairs and Adam promptly announced the invitation for all persons present to be at The Running J that evening for a casual party; the only requirement was that a good time and good food should be expected. The family, including Frank and Katherine, were excited about the notion and plans were made with much enthusiasm. Ranch work was stoutly postponed for the day and, per Ben's insistence, the hours were to be spent making ready for the wedding. Joe volunteered to organize the Ponderosa men as to the movement of furniture from The Running J's barn to the two-story home so that the house would be ready for any tweaking that Adam and Evangeline would like to make that night. The couple were grateful for the help and appreciated Joe's initiative.

Watching his beloved family, Hop Sing grinned from his place in the kitchen hallway, already planning what scrumptious cuisine he would whip up for the evening to come. The grin still firmly in place, he disappeared back into his domain to retrieve more coffee. By the time he returned to fill each cup dangling from the respective family member's hand, there had been a question asked to Ben.

Already pleased with the upcoming festivities, Ben was also more than flattered to accompany Evangeline to town for wedding shopping. Though she had asked him days before to be her planner of sorts, he had thought it was a mere formality. He looked forward to some quality time with his son's betrothed. She went to get her wraps and while she was gone, Adam took Ben aside for a private conversation. The two men walked together into the library and Adam sat with a hip on the desk as Ben came to stand by the window, an arm leaning on the windowsill and a hand deep in his pocket while he waited for his son to speak what was on his mind. The intense look on Adam's face indicated that what was weighing upon him was serious.

"Pa, I want more than anything to take care of this myself but you are the only one I trust to take over for me and I have something to ask."

"Of course, son, you need only ask. You know that."

"I want you to go to my lawyer's office and have him draw up the necessary papers for Jody's adoption. If you could bring the documents back for Angie and I to sign upon our marriage, I would be so grateful. Then all that remains is to track down Meeker in any one of the many gambling halls in Virginia City and Jody is ours for all time!"

Delighted upon seeing a rare animation in Adam's eyes, Ben smiled, squeezing his son's arm affectionately. "I want you to know that I am proud of you for taking Jody on like you are. Most young men first starting out in marriage wouldn't have the gumption to adopt a parentless child so soon after the wedding."

Adam shrugged, scratching the side of his neck and trying to not let his nervousness show. "It may be a lot but nothing has ever felt so right, aside from making that gorgeous creature over there, my wife. After the last weeks, I couldn't bear to be without that boy, Pa. I've come to love him and I know Angie will be a marvelous mother."

"I'm sure she will," Ben agreed, but a slight frown pulled the corners of his mouth down, "But I would like to give a word of caution if you'll allow it. She is a strong young woman and very resourceful but you will need to be patient with her. When I brought Marie home, she went through several rough patches of adjustment, especially with you boys, because I expected too much when I should have been loving her instead. I know you remember those times so make sure to be as gentle with your wife as one of your prize fillies. I have probably overstepped but take my advice for what it is meant to be, a few words from your imperfect father who has made a lot of mistakes and wants to spare you."

Unsure how to respond, Adam cleared his throat and looked up from gazing at the floor. He smiled, much to Ben's surprise. "On the contrary, I appreciate the reminder. Thanks, Pa. I hope that if you ever see me treating my bride in any other way than she deserves, you'll tell me. I may not always know what I am doing although I can only hope that such incidents are very few and far between."

Relieved that his worrying memories had been addressed, Ben laughed, his dark eyes twinkling. "I seriously doubt that I will ever have to do that but, if it means that much than...yes, I will."

A bright grin lit Adam's handsome face and he clapped his father on the shoulder. "Are we good?"

Ben returned the smile and nodded. "I don't see why not, son. I am glad you decided to leave Jody with me and your brothers for a week so that you can acquainted with that lovely wife of yours. If you decide you need more time, I would be more than happy to keep the boy longer. Perhaps two weeks at least?"

"I appreciate the offer but Angie wanted only a week and I'll stay by that unless she wants different. I'll keep you in mind though."

Ben shrugged, wrapping an arm around Adam's shoulders and leading him from the library but with a smile on his face the whole way. Evangeline came gliding down the stairs, pulling a shawl around her shoulders as she smiled at both of them. Without any hesitation, she came to Adam's side and pecked him on the lips. As Adam's attention was captured completely, Ben stood back, his grin seeming to be permanent. His son's fiancée turned doe eyes upon him next.

"Have you two been behaving? Not fighting again, I hope," she said with a laugh, tucking the last of her hair up under the flowered hat set upon her head.

Chuckling, Adam wrapped an arm about her slim waist and glanced at his father. "Pa, when do we ever fight?"

"I don't know what she's talking about but...," Ben started to say but she gave him a mock look of displeasure and he pretended to recant, "But who am I to argue with such a pretty head as hers?"

The room was filled with their laughter and Evangeline moved from Adam to claim Ben's arm in her hands. "If you both are done being trouble than can we get going, Ben?"

The men's chuckles continued out the door as Adam assisted her up into the buggy and claimed a last parting kiss, they already acting like newlyweds who couldn't bear the thought of being apart. Ben took his place next to her, cleared his throat to make Adam step out of the path of the wheels and soon the horses were making tracks out of the dusty yard, down the road. Standing alone, Adam raised a hand to acknowledge Evangeline's wave but his smile fell slowly when the buggy was out of sight, a troubled strain in his face as he rubbed his right fingers restlessly by his side and then soothed a crease in his jeans. Fingers slipped into his left hand and he looked down in surprise.

"Are you alright, Adam? Are ya hurtin'?"

Adam smiled, squeezing Jody's small hand. "I'm fine, Jody. How about we go see to Coal? I bet he'd like to see you for a bit."

Jody's face broke into a happy grin and, with his arm flung around Adam's waist and Adam's arm closed around the little boy's shoulders, the twosome walked carefully to the barn and disappeared into its dark depths.

I* * * * *I

From the porch of the house, Katherine watched sadly as Adam faded from view into the barn. She bit her lower lip with uncertainty. Though she wished to have a candid conversation with him, she was worried that he would be angry or, even worse still, he would simply look at her with disgust, his eyes dark with displeasure before turning his back to her and walking away. Wrapping her arms about herself, she sighed and took a seat at the table. She continued to stare out at the barn, not having enough courage to cross the distance but also having enough need to stay rooted to her seat. Footsteps came up behind her and Joe plopped down in the chair next to her. He shrugged into his green jacket and tossed his hat on the table, looking to be going somewhere but Katherine didn't care enough to ask where exactly.

"What are you doin' out here?" he asked amiably, granting her a smile.

"Oh, only taking in a little fresh air, Joe, it is getting rather stuffy in there."

"It is at that, I guess," he laughed, "Well, I'm off to take care of wedding business but when I get back later, I hope that I can take you for a ride to the lake. I think you'll like it a lot."

Katherine realized that he was speaking to her and looked at him quickly. "Sure, whatever you want, Joe. I love riding but have never had much chance to practice in the city."

Joe's smile deepened but then he noted how she stared out to the barn from where the sound of Adam's laughter could be heard wafting from the open barn doors. He noticed the tightening of her arms about herself, the gulp that constricted her slender throat, and his eyes twinged with sympathy upon seeing her turmoil. Leaning forward, he placed a hand softly on her shoulder, "Remember what I said, Katherine," he intoned, his voice gentle, "Adam is more understanding than you think. Why not give him a chance?"

Katherine blinked, subtle fear in her face as she turned to Joe. "He will be angry with me. We haven't spoken since that night when I made a fool of myself."

Joe shrugged, as if her answer was of little consequence. "All I am saying is that he and I have fought on and off all our lives but he still listens if I got a problem I'm trying to figure out. I would never tell Pa this but I'd sooner go to Adam with a sensitive issue because Pa tends to fly off the handle a lot quicker. Not to mention, Adam has gone through a lot of his own tragedy, especially in the last few years. Think on that and perhaps you will be willing to give him a chance. You aren't as alone as you think. If you need to talk or some companionship, please remember that you have a friend in me too."

Standing up, he slipped his hat on and smiled into her eyes before bounding off the porch and walking across the yard. A mysterious smile touched her lips as she observed him instead of the barn. The youngest Cartwright son walked with such a swagger, his long legs reaching firmly for ground, his head inclining to the side and his arms swinging freely by his side. _He is quite handsome,_ she mused, and was surprised by her own blush at the thought. In a moment, Joe reappeared with his horse and mounting up with a single jump, waving to her as he galloped out of the yard.

Katherine sat for what felt like hours until she sighed, standing up firmly and smoothing her skirts. Step by slow step, she was soon at the barn and walked in. Slipping into the dark shadows to the right, she smiled upon witnessing man and boy together, chuckling over the antics by the foal. Minutes passed before Jody decided he wanted to run back in the house and "hang out" with Hop Sing. Once the boy was gone, Adam seemed to pause in a click of time and his shoulders drooped. He eased himself down on an overturned bin in the stall with a tired sigh and leaned forward, elbows on knees and fingers laced loosely. His face looked sad, as if he had lost his best friend or something that meant a great deal to him. The little colt came up and nudged his shoulder but he only smiled wanly and didn't take the bait to pet it. So alone he looked that her heart was moved, seeing for the first time, the uncertain man behind her fantasy. To her surprise, she realized that she loved this representation of him so much more because it meant that he was actually approachable and not the beautiful dream that she had held onto. He was real, sitting there so vulnerable and he needed her, not as a romantic partner but as a friend, just like Joe had said.

Katherine took a deep breath, stepping into the light and coming to the stall door. "Adam...can I talk to you?"


	40. Chapter 40

Adam was more than wary to be confronted by Katherine and felt cornered but he made the best of the situation. The talk went much better than had been anticipated. Tired to his very core, he sat wordless and motionless with eyes lowered as Katherine apologized for her inappropriate behavior and expressed a desire to wish him well in his new marriage. Once she had said all that was in her heart, Adam looked up into her eyes and only saw honesty there. Though he felt as if most of his considerable strength was trickling away into a bland numbness, a new energy came to his hazel orbs.

"Thank you, Pebbles. I appreciate the apology and now it is my turn to say sorry to you."

"You?" Katherine asked with surprise. "What would you have to be regretful about?"

"Just this...something has been weighing upon you and instead of being there for you, I avoided discussion because I was uncomfortable. You are a smart young lady, beautiful and intelligent and you have been through unspeakable terror. You were lonely when the kiss happened, I understand that. I could have handled that situation so much better but what's past is in the past, I suppose, and you should keep it there too. Don't blame yourself. Can we still be best friends?"

Tears shimmering in her eyes, Katherine nodded, stepping forward into the stall and shutting the half-door. "Can I...can I give you a hug, Adam?"

"Sure, Little Pebbles, come here," Adam smiled, wrapping his arms around her when she sat next to him. He stroked her back comfortingly as she cried softly on his shoulder. A sigh left his chest, the breath leaving his body as if air had been sucked into a void and he couldn't draw a full lungful.

Moisture trickled down Katherine's face, tears of relief, grief, remorse and a bit of the old longing. But he was right, the past was indeed meant to be forgotten. She pulled away reluctantly and smiled at him. "I owe you so much, Adam. I hope you will always be happy."

Leaning back to look into her face, Adam returned the affectionate smile. "You are very remarkable and I hope you know how proud of you I am and our grandfather is as well. In his heart, you have always been his. I did mention the hurt that it had caused you due to the fact that he had never formally adopted you. Well, I think that he will be fine with my telling you that he is going to start adoption proceedings once life has settled down a bit around here. You will be forever more, for better or worse, Katherine Stanton-Stoddard. How does all that strike you?"

Katherine had no words for the intense emotions roiling through her soul. A happy, tearful smile touched her face. "Wonderful, just wonderful. You both don't know how much that means to me. All I can say is...thank you!"

"I'm so glad that you approve," Adam smiled, "Now, why don't you go in and talk to him about all this? Tell him what's in that tender heart of yours and he'll appreciate knowing."

Katherine nodded with an excited smile, kissing Adam's cheek and turning to leave. Once outside the half-door, she closed it but kept eye contact with the man watching her from under hooded eyelids. "Adam...I...I love you."

A small smile touched the handsome lips. "And I, you, Katherine. Go on now and say that to our grandfather."

Adam's upturned mouth curved downward when the girl had gone across the yard towards the house and he slumped against the wall. Suddenly too weak to hold himself up, he passed a hand over his closed eyes and grasped his temples. A light groan came from his chest and a tremor passed through his body as he struggled to regain some control as his strength failed his will. At first, he thought that his back was about to go out, fear gripped him, but only the customary dull ache continued and no twinges could be felt. He took a shaky breath to calm his nerves and felt the nudge of a wet nose against his neck. He looked up into the brown eyes of the foal who whickered and nuzzled the man's ear with apparent concern. The little horse huffed gently and the warm breath blew over Adam's face, a sweet scent coming on the still air. Coal's innocence made Adam relax somewhat and let his weight lean against the wall. His breathing steadied, heart slowing but the new question was whether or not he could make it to the house by himself. Instinct told him not to try but pride was pushing him to attempt the trek. Pushing up with his hands, he managed to get to his feet but instantly felt lightheaded and sat down hard, his head swimming.

"Dang it! I'm so sick of this crap!" he growled loudly with frustration. Coal started with fright, moving to the furthest distance possible in the space. Irritated that his anger had caused harm, Adam wilted where he sat and decided to wait for his muscles to solidify before attempting to rise. Much to his relief, he heard heavy footsteps within minutes coming close and Hoss' voice carried in.

"Adam? Adam, where are ya?"

"I'm in here, Hoss!"

Hoss' head came into view and the congenial grin on his face faded as he saw the pale pallor of his sibling. He was in the stall and by Adam's side in a second. "What's wrong? Is it your back? You shouldn't be out here alone. When Katherine came back without you, I got worried."

"My back is fine, I think, but I can't seem to do anything except flounder about. I don't know why but I feel as weak as a kitten," Adam shook his head with an embarrassed laugh, his arms trembling as he tried to get up again.

Frowning, Hoss put a hand on his brother's shoulder, felt the trembling and was concerned. "Adam, sit still now. You're shaking like a leaf. I need to get you inside so throw out an arm and I'll help ya."

"I'm sorry for this. I'm so embarrassed right now," Adam grimaced as he was assisted out of the barn.

"No need," Hoss exclaimed, his right arm around his brother's waist and he held Adam's arm around his big shoulders. "I got ya. Take it slow. Wish Pa was here, he'd know what to do."

"I'm glad he's not. I don't need him to be stressing out nor my beautiful little worrywart either. The doc will be here soon anyway, to check over Joe and I so we're in the clear."

"Be that as it may," Hoss snorted, opening the front door with a quick movement, "You're going to bed to get some rest. You've been wandering around a little too much and it's taken a toll."

Abel, Frank and Katherine looked up from their places by the fireplace and worry came over their faces. Rising to his feet, Abel came over as quickly as he could, considering that he was reliant on his wooden cane. He grasped his grandson's arm as Hoss moved Adam towards the guest bedroom. Katherine followed and Frank made sure to lend a hand to carefully lower his future son-in-law down on the neat bed.

"Would you all go about your business? Please!" Adam pleaded, gently extricating his person from loving grips, "I only need a little time and I'll be right as rain, I'm sure of it."

Not that anyone believed the assurances but, after a few more minutes of hovering, they saw that their presence was agitating him so Katherine stepped out to give some privacy to the men but with the promise that she would bring a cup of tea in. Frank patted Adam's leg and told him "that you only have to say the word and anything will be gotten for you" then he was gone, closing the door carefully. Hoss left to wait for the doctor but Abel refused to leave, taking a seat on the bed and claiming Adam's left hand in his grip. The last of his resolve having been spent, Adam could only shrug as his head rolled gently on the pillows but the contact of his grandfather's weathered hand sent a warmth flooding into his heart.

Watching his precious "boy" struggling to stay awake, Abel sighed. "Katherine talked of what you two spoke about out in the barn there. She said that you encouraged her to speak about what was troubling her, to both you and me. Thank you, even if you were meddling."

"You're welcome. You will let our doctor give you a second opinion, won't you?"

Abel's eyes misted. "Son, shouldn't we stop denying that I won't be on this old earth much longer? Why can't you let it go?"

"Can't you let me have this one? I will never accept any doctor's word except Paul Martin's on such a grave diagnosis as this. Please?"

"Very well, if that makes you shut your yap then I'll do it."

Hazel eyes turned on the old man with a rewarding light and a smile shone from parted lips. Adam squeezed the fragile fingers, running his thumb over the bony knuckles and promptly slipped away into a healing sleep. Abel sat in silence, contented to watch his grandson breathing deeply, the broad chest rising in hope and falling into peace. Katherine entered quietly and set the steaming cup of tea down on the side-table. She moved behind Abel and rested her hands on his shoulders, kissing the top of his balding head, stray white hairs tickling her nose. He reached up to pat one of her hands and there they stayed together, observing the man that meant so much in both their lives. Prayers were sprinkled over him, that his health would fully return in the fastest due course and that his mind would find happiness.

The peaceful moments were broken a time later when a gentle knock sounded and Doc Martin slipped in. With a nod of acknowledgment to the two persons present, he set his bag down on a table and leaned over Adam to peruse the sleeping man's well-being.

Soundlessly, Abel, Katherine and Hoss left and shut the door but proceeded to wait anxiously outside along with Joe who showed up to ask Adam about a few details about the furniture that had not been discussed properly. When the youngest Cartwright heard of what was happening, his happy grin fell. He took off his hat, slamming it down on the kitchen table and running his fingers through his curly hair in agitation. Katherine moved to his side and touched his sleeve. He paused, meeting her slight smile and he couldn't help but cover the small hand with his fingers and squeeze gently. Together, they sat and waited, worry plain on their faces.

In the guest room, Paul's eyebrows drew together as he peeled each one of Adam's eyelids back in turns but he was relieved that the hazel eyes were perfectly paired, in more than only color. While the paleness of the young man's skin was concerning, his breathing was deep and full, suggesting a stable balance of a healing body and not a fevered illness. Taking out his stethoscope, Paul hung it around his neck and unbuttoned Adam's shirt so the instrument could be pressed into the strong chest underneath. Intently, the good doctor listened to the persistent beat of a fit heart and he nodded to himself in satisfaction.

The cold metal seeking in the unfamiliar area sought to bring Adam around to consciousness and he was disoriented to find his friend's face come into view quite close and looking so worried. Trying to lighten the mood and keep his own fears at bay, Adam forced a grin. "I see you got here, Doc. What's the verdict?"

"Don't know yet," Paul frowned as he replaced the stethoscope into his black bag and retrieved a flat, rounded stick about four inches long or so. He took Adam's chin in his hand. "Open up..." Obediently, Adam complied and Paul gently checked his patient's gums, tongue and the condition of his throat. No clue was made of what Paul was thinking and his face remained stoic. When he was finished, he packed up his bag and sat on the bed to gaze steadily at his young friend while Adam buttoned his shirt back up. "Hoss said you were unable to walk by yourself and you were shaking badly. Did you have another episode?"

"No, not today but...last night I had a smaller one. I was surprised that I got better so quickly after we used the new massage techniques. I have felt really well today, up to a little while ago that is.

"Uh-huh," Paul muttered, knowing a line when he heard one, "Have you had anything to eat today?"

"No. I wasn't hungry earlier for breakfast," Adam replied, fatigue trying to claim his will to think and he was quickly losing patience.

Paul tsked and shook his head. "I thought so, and probably not much last night either. Your gums and tongue are pale. The shaking is partly from lack of nutrition made more severe also by the vulnerable state your body is in of late. No matter if you are hungry or not, you must eat at appropriate times."

Chastised sufficiently, Adam hitched his shoulders and didn't respond as Paul went to the kitchen and was soon back with a tray lovingly prepared by Hop Sing. Adam's eyes grew large at seeing a whole plate of eggs, a glass of milk, a piece of ham, a biscuit with jam and two pieces of toast slathered with butter.

"I can't eat all of that! I'm still not hungry!"

His expression stern, Paul snapped the napkin crisply and tucked it into Adam's collar. "You WILL eat all of this and I am not leaving this room until you do so get started. The fork is to your right."

Under Paul's searing gaze, Adam submitted and managed to get down most of the food although he was allowed some grace when he couldn't finish the huge plate of eggs which even a healthy man would find difficult to consume. Paul took the tray away and only then smiled, patting Adam's shoulder. "I want you to eat like that for every meal, whether or not you feel like it. Your body has been through the wringer and is exhausted. You need sleep, good food and only a bit of exercise. I was glad to hear you walked out to the barn, even though your foolishness ruined the effort but take more of those little excursions. But, DO NOT OVERDUE IT. When I say 'a bit of exercise', I mean 'a BIT of exercise'! Which brings me to the elephant in the room. You shouldn't have bothered with the shirt because I need to check your back. Let's get to it. Shirt, off!"

Adam groaned, rolling his eyes and becoming thoroughly annoyed. With exaggerated movements that spoke of his irritation, he yanked the buttons open. Used to such dramatics from each of the Cartwrights on many separate occasions, Paul helped Adam to roll over to his stomach and took the shirt off the broad shoulders. Much to the doctor's amazement, only a few grunts and one single groan occurred during the probing; so much different from every time before when heartbreaking gasps and cries had pained the hearts of Adam's friends and loved ones.

"Who did the massage last night?" Paul asked suddenly, amusement plain when he felt Adam hesitate. "You don't have to say it but she definitely has quite the technique!"

A hearty laugh exploded from Adam's chest and he shook with mirth. "Indeed she does, Doc...indeed, she does."

Smiling at the fondness evident in the words, Paul straightened. "Alright you can roll over again. I think you'll be just fine if you do as I said and make sure you 'take your medicine'. Medicine meaning that new wife of yours tomorrow. I don't know what she did yesterday but I think I was hasty in being disapproving about the wedding happening so soon the last time we spoke. These muscles are much improved already and only after two days. In time, the attacks should decrease in number and severity but be patient with yourself. It could take quite a while so enjoy life and don't put any pressure on your recovery. As far as I am concerned now, the sooner you can be caged by the lovely Miss Williams and the shackles placed around your ankles, you will be all the better for it!"

With another shared laugh, the two men concluded the physical examination and Adam was ordered back to sleep which he did gratefully. Paul stepped out into the great room and was met by quiet alarm in the countenances of the family, including Hop Sing who hovered in the hallway to hear the news. Paul smiled at those in company and informed them that Adam's health was indeed improving but he would need to eat regularly and keep up a good routine of sleep and mild exericise. Then Joe was cornered so that his neck could be checked. Being strangled hadn't seemed to have left him with residual averse affects and his squirming made any further examination impossible so Paul gave up, sure that Joe was recovering nicely.

When the doctor made as if to leave, Abel summoned his courage and took the man aside to privately talk with him. The two disappeared upstairs while Joe decided to figure out the minor dilemmas of The Running J to his own ingenuity and he left the house to get back to work. Katherine found herself worrying about Joe, Adam and her grandfather so she volunteered her help to Hop Sing who put her to work quick enough. Upstairs, Paul was more than interested to hear what Abel Stoddard had to say. When the good doctor had finished the old man's examination, Paul's brow was furrowed as he stepped lightly down the stairs and was met by Katherine coming out of the kitchen.

"How is he, Doctor Martin?" she asked, fear plain in her eyes, "What did you find?"

"He said he wanted to tell you himself at a time of his choosing so I shall leave that to him. He did, however, have a few interesting things to say about your health of late."

Katherine averted her eyes, embarrassed and cornered. "I...I haven't been eating well...that has made me a little weak, I think."

"He told me more than that. He said you have been extremely depressed and he suspects you may have tried to take your own life at least once in the past year. Care to tell me about that?" When there wasn't a response, Paul sighed and placed a hand on her shoulder, leading her to the settee so they both could sit. ""Please let me help. Tell me what has happened and what you have tried to do to help yourself."

Word by troubled word, Katherine managed to give enough information for Paul to figure out what had gone wrong, physically that is. She said that when she and Abel had stayed in Ragtown* and her grandfather had taken ill for those few days, the young doctor there had seen she was having some anxiety issues so he had told her to take two tablespoons of nutmeg in a glass of milk whenever she felt overly stressed. Realization hitting, Paul told her to stop that home remedy immediately because nutmeg was known to cause hallucinations and a fevered state if used in high doses.** He said that she hadn't been taking enough to cause the most severe of the side effects but that she had to stop or it could cause real damage. She looked so scared though that he was quick to reassure her and tell her to let him know if she needed anything else.

Long after he had left, she sat frozen, upset at herself for her stupidity but then only feeling angry at the doctor in Ragtown who had steered her wrong. Rising to return to the kitchen, she felt relief that she knew where her hallucinations had come from at the very least. Now they would stop and perhaps she could gain some peace, a commodity that had alluded her up till then. Putting the entire conversation out of her head, she returned to the kitchen to ask of what assistance she could be.

*Chapter 28 of Part 2. Ragtown is a real ghost town that can be visited to this day in Nevada. It is also the small town in which Abel and Katherine stayed while traveling to the Ponderosa.

**Believe it or not, nutmeg has been used for centuries as a remedy for everything from headcolds and stomach aches to a suspected preventative measure for stopping the spread of Black Death in the Middle Ages. It is known as the rarest of spices and has been the cause of much bloodshed by people seeking the hallucinogens it is known to contain. Quite fascinating, I think, and I encourage you all to check this out for yourself on the Internet if you don't believe me!


	41. Chapter 41

The buggy ride to town was filled with pleasant conversation, serene landscapes and the occasional eagle soaring overhead, piercing the spring air with its proud call. Evangeline smiled broadly, leaning against the canopy support to her right as she put her face out into the cool breeze. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled as slow as possible then filled her lungs again with the fresh air. Ben glanced at his passenger and his lips twisted into a tender smile.

"Happy, my dear?"

She took his arm in her gentle grip and leaned her cheek against his shoulder. "Yes, I am. Drive slower, won't you, Ben? I feel so contented and full of hope. I never want this feeling to end."

Turning his head to kiss her forehead, Ben slowed the palomino horse to a brisk walk. He too felt happier than he had felt in some time and was a tad disappointed when town came into view. Virginia City was relatively quiet on the Friday morning, most people either being at work in the mines or at home with little children and chores of one sort and the next.

The first stop on Evangeline's list was at Mrs Kaylock's home, an elderly spinster in town who had a spacious flower garden in her backyard and enjoyed selling a few of the profuse blooms now and again for a special occasion. She welcomed Ben Cartwright warmly and turned a smile upon the beautiful young woman in his company. Upon hearing of the purpose to their visit, Mrs Kaylock ushered the visitors out to the back of her house and showed them a few selections. The elderly woman blushed as Evangeline oo'ed and ah'ed over each type of flower and expressed appreciation for the entire garden. The choice was increasingly difficult but after a few suggestions from Ben and from Mrs Kaylock, the bride decided on a bouquet of violets and white daisies with two perfect white roses to be placed in the middle of the arrangement, signifying the perfect union of man and wife. The bouquet was agreed upon to be delivered the next day at nine o'clock, two hours before the wedding was slated to start, at eleven.

Thanking the kind woman, Ben and Evangeline left her house and drove on to the general store, the next place of business on the bride's list of shopping. Candles were picked out for the reception and several lace tableclothes as well, neither purchase being cheap and both bringing a permanent grin on the storekeeper's face as he watched the young woman continue to pile up items of her desire. While Ben shopped for what Hop Sing needed for the Ponderosa, Evangeline decided upon provisions that she felt she would need to feed herself and her husband for the first week of their marriage in their new home. After choosing first aid items such as bandages and liniment, she turned her attention to include little treats that she was sure Adam would like sharing with her; crackers and cheese, a box of chocolates and a jar of pickles were placed on the counter along with a few bags of assorted candies including a small tin of jelly beans which were Adam's favorite sweet of all and also quite hard to come by so he didn't get them often.

After paying the exuberant storeowner and leaving Ben to finish his purchases, Evangeline went across the street for a short visit with the jeweler's so she could pick up the rings that her and Adam had chosen and purchased weeks before. The couple had talked over the common practice of only the wife wearing a band but Adam had felt quite strongly about wearing a matching one so they had spent a pleasant Wednesday afternoon perusing the glass cases of every jewelry store in Genoa, Gold Hill and Virginia City before coming upon this perfect pairing of gold circles that she now held in her hands.

Opening the little box given her by the clerk, she gasped softly with new admiration. One ring was of an elegant width while the other was thicker. Her ring was exquisitely delicate, a diamond set in an engraved heart in the middle and scrollwork of the tiniest detail swirled out and around the gold surface. His ring was of a simpler design although none diminished in beauty; the same scrollwork subtly decorated the surface but only an engraving of a single key graced the top of the ring.

Evangeline smiled with tears in her eyes when she remembered what he had said that day. He had requested a custom engraving of a key to be put on his ring and then he had turned to her with a grin. His words echoed out of time in her ears as she ran a finger over the symbol..." _I want everyone to know that you have the key to my heart and that I have yours. Do you approve?"_ Did she approve? What a beautifully childish question after he had done such a perfect thing to prove his sensitivity and love towards her. How lucky she was...

"Ma'am? Is your order satisfactory?"

Evangeline roused from her reverie. She nodded, snapping the box lid closed and put it into her purse, thanking the man with a handshake and a smile before she left the store. Ben was waiting for her by the buggy and gave her a winning grin. Helping her into the conveyance, he sat next to her and took up the reins.

"Where to next, daughter?"

Evangeline looked curiously at him and her eyes twinkled. "You have never called me that before."

"Do you mind? I thought I would try it out one of these days."

"Of course, I don't mind. I like it...Pa," she winked, giggling as she fished out her list from her purse, "Oh, and the last two stops are the dressmaker's, then The Helping Hand and then to my home to try on my dress with Elvira."

A whimsical smile on his face, Ben sat looking at her intently and her blue eyes stared back at him with innocence. Silently, he clicked to the horse and soon pulled up in front of the dressmaker's. As she carefully stepped down from the buggy and disappeared in the shop, he sat, watching the activity of the townspeople and trying not to think of another dark-haired young lady who had been full of wit, fire and the sweetness of an angel.

A sadness drifted through Ben's mind as he thought of those short but blissful months he had been married to Elizabeth Stoddard. Even as the warmth of the sun beat down on his body and the cheerful sound of vigorous life bustled around him, he fought to ward off the emptiness that he began to feel. His throat choked up slightly as he sent up a quick prayer, that his sons would never face a grieved future without a loving wife and the security she brings with her.

"Well, hello there, Mr Cartwright! Out for an excursion today, are we?"

A shadow fell across Ben's vision and he glanced up into the amused face of William Sharon staring down his nose at the rancher. Though having a strong dislike for the man, Ben forced a smile and extended a hand to be shaken.

"Good day to you, sir. Banking business treating you right?"

Sharon chuckled, tipping his hat further onto his forehead and rocking back on his heels. "Yes, yes, my ventures are prospering, as usual."

"Like still foreclosing on every mine you can get your hands on?"

"This again?" Sharon's mouth turned into a frown and a spark ignited in his eyes. "As I said in board meeting after board meeting with the mine owners, I only want the mines that are failing to either see if there are veins hidden deep or I can sell the land for a profit. I'm not a vulture as you seem to think and I'm not dishonest but I am smart. Smart in the way of a cat. What's the harm in giving a few struggling people some money for their troubles and taking worthless holes in the ground from them?"

Ben sighed, turning away to stare out at the town's activities. He didn't agree with the banker but Sharon had helped after the shoot-out on the road so the father decided to remain civil. "Your business is your business and none of mine today. I don't want an argument today. You did a service a few days ago and I'm obliged for your help."

Sharon seemed to relax and he brushed a hand over his trimmed mustache. "How's Adam anyway? I haven't seen him around for a few days. I hope he hasn't taken ill or been further injured after that unpleasantness."

"As a matter of fact, Adam hasn't been feeling all too well but his condition is improving...very, very slowly though it may be."

"The wedding is still on though, isn't it?" Sharon asked hopefully, trying to not be obvious in desiring an invitation.

Not to be fooled, Ben turned his head and squinted at the banker. "Look, Sharon, I don't like you and I don't think that you are entirely above board with a good sum of your business affairs but that is only my opinion. My son seems to like you well enough and I humor you only because of Adam but leave my family alone. Adam has been to hell and back the last months, especially the past weeks, and thanks to you and your 'assistant', Anderson, all three of my sons could have been killed!" He took a deep breath to quell his anger. "As for Adam, he is recovering and looking forward to a life full of possibilities with a new wife and a ranch of his own. He doesn't need anymore upset and I'll thank you to stay out of his way...or you may find more than one pesky investigation started into your business affairs. I have friends in very... **very** high places."

Sharon appeared to be stunned and he blinked, opening his mouth as if to respond but then thought better of it. He tipped his hat to Evangeline who was coming out of the shop with two large, rectangular boxes in her hands. Without a word, he walked away and Ben glared after him, his dark eyes enraged but softening when he felt a warm presence settle on the seat next to him.

"Pa, are you alright? You look troubled," Evangeline asked worriedly, peering into Ben's face as she smoothed her skirts away from the wheels.

Forcing a smile on his face, Ben turned to her and glanced at the boxes on her lap. "Do you still want to go to the restaurant next?"

Evangeline regarded Adam's father but nothing in his eyes gave away what had happened. She merely nodded and sat back while Ben drove to her place of business and he waited while she ran inside. There were a few customers inside, not an outstanding number but that was normal for that time of day. She found Elvira in the kitchen who was instructing her assistants. Evangeline was warmly greeted and introduced to the two new cooks that Frank had hired to ease the burden of running such a successful eatery. She was impressed with the womens' skills and promised to return when she was able so as to get to know them better.

Taking Elvira aside in the sitting room, Evangeline got a firsthand report of how operations had been going and the elderly woman expressed how much the young woman had been missed, although the restaurant was running smoothly, without a hitch.

Then the dialogue turned to a more touching direction.

"Ellie, I think of you as my closest friend and I need your help. You really, I mean, really understand how hard it has been for me to be without my mother for the wedding preparations and ceremony. Would you take her place? I want you as my maid of honor."

Tears shone from the elderly woman's eyes and she took both of Evangeline's hands between her own. "I would be honored, Miss Evangeline...it would be such an...honor."

"I think you should start calling me 'Angie'. Don't you?"

"If you say so, Miss Evang...Angie," Elvira smiled tearfully and accepted the warm hug as Evangeline's arms wrapped around her.

"Would you come to the house and help me try on my wedding dress as your first official duty?"

Elvira laughed, a nod of her grey head being all she could manage due to her glee. Giving a few last minute instructions to the cooks, she accompanied Evangeline out to Ben waiting patiently in the buggy. He helped the ladies into the buggy and then clucked to the loyal horse who stepped into a willing trot towards the outskirts of the residential area where most of the wealthy lived in Virginia City. The passengers rode in silence, each lost in their most private thoughts. Upon arriving at the Williams' stately residence, the three walked into the house together, Ben carrying the heavy dress boxes for the women.

The maid met them at the door, a smile radiating from her young face framed by a neat white cap. She was dressed in an equally prim black uniform. "Miss Evangeline, we missed you terrible. Let me take your wraps."

"Thank you, Matilda," Evangeline smiled, "Make Mr Cartwright comfortable in the parlor during his stay and get him some refreshment. Perhaps lemonade and cookies, Ben?"

"That sounds perfect," Ben sighed, taking off his hat to inadvertently reveal sweat beading his brow. "It is starting to get a bit warm out there, I admit."

"Oh, and we women have been making you wait while we talked," Evangeline exclaimed with remorse while she led Ben into the parlor and motioned for him to take a seat. "Make yourself to home and I'll be right back."

Once more, Ben found himself waiting but he had long decided earlier in the morning that the tedium of playing the puppy dog, in other words tagging after a woman's heels for a day's shopping, was a missed privilege. The time of that day had brought back many fond memories of shopping with all three of his wives and there was indeed something about seeing their eyes light up when they found exactly the right item.

Being without that enjoyment for so long, he lounged back on the couch and looked forward to Evangeline's return. The maid returned briefly with a sparkling glass of lemonade and an oblong tray of every kind of cookies imaginable. Biting into one of the soft delicacies, he sipped from the glass while taking in the plush surroundings. A brief worry entered his mind and he hoped that living in a simpler ranch homestead wouldn't be a hard adjustment for Adam's bride. But of course, this was Evangeline he was thinking of and he shrugged off the foolishness that drove him to worry over his sons, night and day.

"Ben, are you ready for me? I am coming in if you are," Evangeline's voice sounded nervous coming from outside the doorway.

"Yes, I'm ready," Ben called back, sitting up attentively and crossing one leg over the other.

A smile on her lovely face, an angel floated around the corner, amid swirls of white, rustling satin. The layered train, lace peeking out from under each level, spilled out into the next room, even as she came to stand in front of him. Ben's mouth fell open and he rose to face the loveliness only found in dreams. Evangeline smoothed her skirt self-consciously and blushed under his dark gaze as his eyes traveled up and down her height then he stepped slowly around her, taking in every angle of the special garment. He stood in front of her and reached out to take one of her hands into his. Bowing to kiss the back of the fragile hand, he met her questioning blue eyes and could only think of one thing to say. Four, little words that sounded quite awed.

"Adam...will love that."


	42. Chapter 42

Katherine sighed as she sat back in her chair and stared at her grandfather sitting across from her. Abel's eyes were lowered and his fingers battled in his lap, rubbing restlessly. The silence was suffocating and agony for both of the participants.

"So...that's it then? Just like that? "

Abel shook his head, shrugging listlessly. "Yup, nothing more needs said. This Doctor Martin..well, he had plenty of notions. At my age, I wouldn't have long to live anyhow but I'll tell everyone at the party later. This hardly changes anything. Let's live our lives now, shall we? That's all a body can do until the Good Lord sees fit to call its spirit home."

Tears trickled silently down her cheeks, Katherine couldn't think of anything else to say. Giving a nod, she took a shaky breath, rising to sit on the bed next to him. Suddenly, she felt an overwhelming need and wrapped her arms gently around his frail shoulders, pressing her cheek against his ear.

"I love you."

Abel's face contorted but he bit his lip to keep his feelings in check. His arms wrapped mechanically around her and pulled her to his chest. "I...love you too. I don't know what I would have done without you all these years. You gave me something to live for, girl."

In surprise, Katherine stared at the headboard of the bed, her eyes open and a single tear explored its way to down under her chin. Those words clanged around in her head like so many tinkling bells, sending their music to her heart. She couldn't believe what she had heard. Sitting back, she wiped at her cheeks and smiled at the only father she had experienced the privilege to have over the last decade of her young life.

"I don't want to leave you. I want to go home with you, Grandfather. Back to our house."

"But, don't you want to go see the world? When we talked earlier, you were so excited about Adam's idea," Abel asked, his bushy eyebrows furrowing with confusion, "I don't understand."

"No, now listen. Listen!" Katherine replied with a joy and a love in her face as she clutched at his hands, "I have lived all my life in fear...constant fear. I never felt free to choose what I want. Not because you didn't give me the choice, you gave me so much, but because I never thought past the ground in front of me. I went to school after school until I had the job at the law firm but I could never think of any dreams to look forward to. Well, now I have one. To make that house a real home for the two of us. I want to return to my job and perhaps even return to college. I have been doing well at the law firm and several colleagues have said I have a knack for getting to the root of problems. Maybe I could go back to college and be the first female lawyer in this country!"*

"My, you do have aspirations!" Abel laughed, raising a hand to cup her face. His smile gentling, he held her gaze as she leaned into his touch, covering his fingers with her own. He blinked, moisture dewing his white lashes and he ventured to speak, "I...I am sorry that you have always felt alone. I didn't know...or I mean, I didn't see that you were...hurting like ya are."

Taking that as the heartfelt apology that it was meant to be, Katherine merely nodded. Enfolding him in her tight grasp, she rested her head on his shoulder. She felt his hands tighten weakly on her waist and he sighed, the breath returning slowly as if he was contented to remain where he was. In that moment, as she held the fragile old man to herself, Katherine knew for the first time that she was going to be alright and that there was a glorious future in store for her, if only she had the courage to travel down that shrouded road of possibilities.

 _*The first American woman lawyer was Arabella Mansfield and she was sworn in during 1869. After that, the country's views on women practicing law began to soften._

I* * * * *I

Deep into the afternoon, Adam awoke amid the lengthening shadows of evening. He stretched languidly on the bed, arms thrown above his head, lithe body twisted to the side. His back arched off the mattress as a huge sigh heaved from his chest and he squirmed lightly to work himself back into the comfort under him. His eyes fluttered, squinting at first as the light hit them but then opening fully to reveal clear pools of color. Turning on his side and holding his head up with a hand, he watched the play of sunlight through the branches of a sapling outside the window. A patchwork of golden was thrown across the floor and a smile touched his lips, the waving leaves caught and reflected within his hazel gaze. A happiness washed over him and he flopped on his back, staring at the ceiling and seeing only one beautiful face floating above him.

A knock cut through the peace and he sighed a response while closing his eyes as he tried to hold on to this feeling for just a few extra seconds. So absorbed was he that the sound of the door opening was lost to him and the rustling of fabric merely a memory he fancied. A weight settled next to him and a hand pressured against his chest, massaging gently. A familiar flowery scent filled his nostrils and he smiled, surrendering to the affection.

"Adam...sweetheart, are you awake?"

The murmured words were like honey, a sweetness that surpassed the need to revel in the moment. He opened his eyes, wanting to see, to touch, to feel the softness of her cheeks. His hands came up to cup her face, fingers flitting over her face tenderly. As if he was a blind man, his fingertips sought each feature of her face and committed them all to memory. How long he had waited to call a woman his own and, at his age, many people had gossiped that the eldest Cartwright son would never marry but always be doomed to a life of solitude. Those town gossips couldn't have been more wrong for here she was, the light of day turning her dark hair a golden shine about the edges, her eyes wide with wonder as her hands covered his wrists. The love for her washed over his soul and he couldn't deny himself any longer. Moving his right hand to behind her slender neck, he pulled her lips to his own. Slack in relaxation, his mouth was covered with the most rapturous of kisses and by the time their faces drew apart, his eyes were closed again, his head falling back on the pillows.

Evangeline never wanted the moment to end but voices in the house made her remember what she had come in for. _Only a few minutes more..._ she thought desperately, touching Adam's cheek as he looked up at her. No words were spoken, only serene awe shared between the lovers. She thought he would kiss her once more but he didn't. He lay stone still and stared into her eyes, his gaze never wandering as the fingers of his right hand continued to explore her face. The solitary curl dangling beside her face was captured and caressed lovingly, each brown hair blessed by its admirer.

"I love you."

Her eyes glistened and she turned her head to kiss the calloused palm of his hand. "I love you too...you don't know how much."

"I think I do," Adam responded, his voice a mere whisper. "You won't ever leave me...will you?"

"As long as it is in my power, I never will, my dearest...dearest love," she murmured back, knowing that he needed to hear her say it. "Kiss me again...please?"

"Oh, woman, I love you!" Adam exclaimed with a joyous laugh, grabbing her and pulling her to lie beside him. He kissed her deeply and then held her tight within his sheltering embrace as they laughed together, whispering back and forth. At last, they reluctantly rose to leave, knowing that the others may start to wonder about them. Ben met the couple when they appeared and placed a large envelope into Adam's hands. A smile came to Adam's face as he withdrew the papers and glanced over them quickly. He showed them to Evangeline and she squealed, jumping up and down with a clap of her hands.

Frozen in shock, Adam glanced up to look at his father. "Pa, how did you get his signature?"

Ben grinned, looking quite proud of himself. "Before Angie and I left town, I decided to do some investigating while she visited with Elvira. I searched saloon after saloon and finally found Meeker in the seedier part of town. Sitting there all drunk, women hanging all over him, he was a sorry sight, let me tell you. But he actually had the nerve to laugh when he saw me. I swear I wanted to tear him limb from limb."

"You didn't pick a fight with him, did ya?" Hoss asked from the side.

"No, no, nothing like that but he wouldn't sign the adoption papers either so I struck up a deal. I'd play him for it. If I won, he would sign, no questions asked."

Adam's eyebrows rose to the ceiling and his mouth fell open. "You beat out a professional poker player at his own game?"

Ben rocked back on his heels, tickled to death with himself. "Flush beats out full-house! I sure did and you got your signature. He couldn't resist that challenge. Consider it an early wedding present, Son! Well, what's the matter?"

A strange look coming over his face, Adam surprised everyone by wrapping his arms around his father and pulling Ben into a tight hug. "Thank you, Pa," he whispered hoarsely, "Thank you, thank you, thank you..."

Overcome with his own emotion, Ben stepped back and gripped the back of his eldest's neck. There were tears in Adam's eyes and he blinked furiously to dispel them but the father still saw the moisture. Pulling Adam close again, Ben savored being able to hold him like this. Evangeline moved in close then, taking hold of Adam's arm as he parted from the embrace.

"Adam, we left the buggy hitched up outside. Do you feel like taking that trip to our home now?"

Adam turned to her, a simple joy in his countenance as he put an arm about her waist. "I don't think anything sounds better. I'll get my hat."

Hoss looked to Ben when the couple had walked out of the house. "Pa, what would have happened had you lost that game?"

Ben's smile fell instantly and he reached out to grip his son's bicep. "Never you mind. Let's focus on the fact that I DID win, alright?"

Staring at his father's retreating back as Ben walked into the kitchen, Hoss grimaced and stuck his hands in his pant pockets, resigning himself to the fact that there were some things that Ben Cartwright would never tell. Frank came down the stairs with a satchel in his grasp as he came over to the young man.

"Anything amiss, Hoss?"

"Nah, nothing much. You just missed Angie, she's heading out with Adam to look over their ranch."

"Oh, good, she was so looking forward to that," Frank said, a smile on his sharp features, "Say, would you have a place for me to work that would be out of the way? I really need to be looking through some of my business affairs before they get too overdue."

"Sure enough," Hoss gestured to the solid desk in the study, "You can use Pa's desk. Make yourself to home in there and let somebody know if ya have need of anything."

"Thanks, Hoss, you are a good man and will go great places. I'm sure of it."

A blush threatened to reveal Hoss' embarrassment. "Nah, I'm not, Mr Williams. I try to be fair to every person and animal under God's sky like my pa and big brother taught me all my life. I ain't nothing special."

Frank watched as the front door closed and his eyes squinted with a wry smile. "If you only knew how rare you are, my friend. Yes, how very rare you are."


	43. Chapter 43

The birds singing in the trees, the warmth of a hot sun, the flowers bobbing their colorful heads in grassy meadows, the sparkling of a brook trickling its way towards Lake Tahoe and the steady hoofbeats of the buggy horse served to make Adam sit straighter and hold the reins a bit more loosely. The rich leather, smoothed and worn by many hands over the years, trailed from his fingers with a pleasant friction and he sighed, happy to be out of the house at last. The air was pure and fresh, with a hint of rain on the horizon in the form of dark clouds hovering over the distant mountains. All in all, it was a beautiful day and one worthy of the beautiful girl riding next to him.

Along the way to The Running J, they were met by Joe riding in the opposite direction. Adam halted the buggy as Joe slid Cochise to a halt in a flurry of dust.

"Hey, Joe, how's everything going?"

"Goin' more than great! Why wouldn't it be with me in charge?" Joe grinned, sending a saucy wink to his oldest brother, "The boys and I moved in all the furniture, aired the pieces out and put them kinda where they should probably go. All is as ready as we could make it but the two of you can look around and make a list of any items that should be addressed before tomorrow and Hoss, Pa and me'll take care of those tonight. That's the whole point of the housewarming celebration anyway so we'll get it done. Angie, we ain't much good with frills and things but we gave it a go at any rate. I hope we gave ya both a start, if nothing else."

"Thank you, Joe, I am sure it will be fine," Evangeline smiled, looking to Adam.

Adam's own smile deepened, his cheeks dimpling. "She and I can't thank you enough, brother, for everything you've done for us. I don't think that I can ever call you 'little' again. I'm in your debt. You were the key to finding my girl those many weeks ago when she was kidnapped, despite the fact that Gaynes had you beaten badly, and then what you did to help take down Anderson, Dudley and that gang...I don't know where the Cartwright or Williams' families would be without your quick thinking."

Shifting in his saddle, Joe shrugged with embarrassment, sporting a boyish grin. "God knows you've done enough for me over the years. Here's a little bit of yours I'm trying to give back. Well, you two have fun and I'll be getting back. Got my own romantic plans to attend to this afternoon."

"Oh? And what plans exactly?" Adam asked with a mischievous twinkle gleaming from his eyes as he already had his private suspicions.

Joe rolled his eyes and Cochise reared half-heartedly, as if sensing his rider's impatience to move on. "If you must know, I asked Katherine to go for a horseback ride. Got any problems with that?"

"No. In fact, I don't think she could do any better."

Joe met Adam's friendly gaze and the younger man nodded meaningfully. "Thank you for that, Adam. Enjoy yourself and I'll be seeing you two later."

Waving to his brother, Adam brought a rein down on the horse's rump and the buggy started on its way again. After a few minutes in pleasant silence, he chuckled. "Dust always followed that boy wherever he went when he was a little tot and the same dust still does. He may be getting older and more mature, but he'll never really change."

Evangeline laughed lightly, resting her head on the comforting hardness of her man's sturdy arm. She sighed and closed her eyes, relishing the closeness of his body, the scent of his cologne mixed in with the natural scent that could only be uniquely his own and the softness of his shirt contrasted with the heat of the corded muscle encased within. A whimsical expression on her face, she ran a hand lightly up and down the red sleeve of his shirt until her fingers tickled the slender, sculpted lines of his nearest wrist.

"That was a sweet thing you did for Joe back there. I envy how close you are with your brothers. I have never experienced that. Until now that is."

"We have each other's backs and that will never change. My relationship with Hoss has always been amiable and easy but Joe has been a different story," Adam smiled over at his love, "I'm not sure you should envy our relationship. It can become very volatile and a few of our more 'interesting' fights have made it into family legend."

"But he loves and respects you. I know he does. That's a sibling bond that I have only dreamed about. I envy you."

Adam put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, kissing the tip of her nose. "You are part of the family now so you can get used to being picked on by my two brothers on a regular basis. Years from now, you may regret marrying into this crazy pack of Cartwrights!"

Evangeline laughed as she returned her gaze to the landscape and then her mouth opened in awe as a hill was crested by the buggy. "Oh, Adam..."

The view was more than breathtaking, it was the stuff of dreams. A two-story, beige house, accented by black shutters, shone from the top of a gentle slope like the symbol of all she held dear and tears sprang to her eyes. The road leading up to their ranch was lined on either side by thick pines and obscured her full enjoyment but when the trees parted at last, Adam heard her suck in a breath. Outwardly, he continued to calmly drive but inside, he was doing cartwheels a million a minute. His fingers tightening around the reins, Adam urged the horse into a rolling canter. The wind whipped at Evangeline's hat and a laugh issued from her lungs as she held on to his arm for dear life with one hand and held her flapping headdress with the other. They soon entered the winding drive that led up to the house. As he slowed the buggy, Evangeline couldn't wait any longer and jumped out, her skirts flying.

"Hey, slow down there!" Adam laughed, halting the horse and shaking his head at the beautiful spectacle that was taking place in the front yard. His sophisticated lady, rosy-cheeked and happy, spun in circles with her arms outstretched and giggles bubbling into the air; the sound brought a grin to his face. In all the difficult days of late, this moment felt like partial payment and he couldn't imagine his life getting any better. He stepped out of the buggy and came to her side, taking her into his arms.

"Does this mean you like the place?"

Evangeline rolled her eyes and threw her arms around his neck, pulling his head down to touch her forehead to his. "Of course, I love this ranch, you big, silly, beautiful man! All I care about is that you are here and I am here and...well...I can't imagine my life being more perfect than right now." A tear rolled down her cheek as she cupped his chin in her hand and kissed him, slowly and with all the tenderness she possessed. Blinking resolutely to contain her emotion, she turned in his arms, wrapping her arms about his waist as they stood together and stared up at their new dwelling.

"It is the most beautiful home I could have asked for, my darling. Can we go inside?"

"Certainly, I think it's about time," Adam grinned, guiding her up the porchsteps.

The creaking of a porch swing drew their attention and Evangeline smiled, leading him by the hand towards it. "Oh, look, Adam...what a perfect place to sit and look out over our property in the evenings. We could watch sunrises, sunsets or a summer rainstorm, all from right here! I love these potted plants that Anne set around on the porch railing too. She has wonderful taste, doesn't she?"

Adam noted the wistful note in her voice and he tightened the grip on her hand. "You have good taste too. Don't doubt yourself, alright? Let's look at the inside, shall we?"

The wind whispered in the eaves as the couple stepped, hand in hand, to the door and Adam reached for the knob. The brass ornament turned easily under his touch and he stepped aside for her to walk in ahead of himself. The house was peaceful in its silence, comforting and cool with sunlight streaming into the windows and lighting the interior. Joe and the ranch hands had done well enough and the house looked livable, furniture pleasantly lining the walls although some bare spaces remained which would have to be filled in due course by a trained eye.

In awe of this new environment, Evangeline held tight to Adam's hand as he showed her around the bottom half of the house which contained a sitting room, a parlor, an office, the kitchen and a connecting back porch where work hats and muddy boots could be left before entering into the house. Listening to Adam's rich voice describing the purpose of each room and reverberating in the quiet structure, she could already feel that this house was a home, its pillar of strength being within its walls at last. Design ideas formed before her eyes and she began to instinctively plan color schemes for each space, helped by a suggestion or two from Adam at a few intervals. Playful argument ensued a time or two, due to a difference in taste, but always was there a new idea to be found, explored and agreed upon.

Saving the best for last, Adam took her hand again and led her up the narrow flight of steep stairs leading to the second floor. Exploration didn't take long, there being only three empty bedrooms except for an additional room, the largest one at the furthest end of the single hall. Adam brought his wife-to-be to the closed door but he didn't make a move to open it. Instead, he turned to her and she cocked her head quizzically, not understanding. A smile played about his cupid-bow mouth and made his hazel eyes twinkle.

"Why can't we go in, Adam?" she asked, an arched eyebrow raising.

The smile deepened and dimples appeared on his round cheeks. "Not until tomorrow night, my love. I still want there to be a few surprises left between us and what is behind that door will only be revealed then."

Evangeline averted her eyes, a pretty blush forming on her cheekbones. "I don't know what to expect when we can be fully alone, at last without worry of being caught, but Momma told me of what goes on between...a man and his wife. She said that it can be very pleasurable from time to time but that men often do what they please without concern for the woman. She said it is a wife's duty though and the couple of married friends that I have said that the 'duty' is something to be endured, not to be enjoyed. I can't wait to learn how to please you more but...I have to be honest that I am a little nervous and...frightened at the prospect of so much unknown. You...you will be gentle, won't you? I know I am terribly silly because you are so different from other men but...still..."

The fear in her eyes made Adam's heart lurch and it hurt to see her looking at him in that way. A sigh breaking the silence, he placed his hands on her shoulders, running his long fingers up and down her shapely arms. He pulled her close, melding her body into his contours and rested his chin atop her head. She waited anxiously for him to speak but first he leaned back and regarded her.

"Remember what I said in the rose garden? About what you could expect?"

"I think so. You said that you would never hurt me and wouldn't ever try to make me do anything that I didn't feel comfortable with."

Evangeline searched his face and tried to remember his exact phrasing but she nodded, knowing what he meant. Bending his head, Adam brought his mouth to within a breath of her own. His gold-hazel eyes burned into hers as he spoke in a whisper.

"Yes, but I also said that you needn't be afraid because what you feel in a kiss will only be what that night will consist of and in greater measure than you can imagine, my darling. I'm not like other men. I only care about your comfort and your well-being...and your pleasure. While I am caring about those things is how you will please me. You don't have to be nervous because I know the way and we'll learn how to please each other, together. I know that all of this is hard to understand but trust me...trust me..."

His voice trailed away as his arms gathered about her waist and his eyes closed, his lips finding refuge in the softness of her kiss. Tense for only a heartbeat, she melted into his embrace and a tiny moan sparked in her lungs. She began to feel dizzy as Adam deepened the kiss and he only allowed her a quick gasp for air before coming back for more. She wrapped her arms around his neck to prevent escape, gripping the silky curls at its base. While in his grasp, she always marveled at the power he exuded but he did so with such gentleness as to be completely and utterly disarming. Suddenly, being nervous was the last worry in her mind. His happiness was all that mattered in the entire world then...the happiness of this gentle, understanding, beauty of a man in her arms. Without a doubt in her mind, she would have gladly continued, regardless of time or consequence but he pulled away then, leaving her feeling devoid of any sensation in her knees. Trying to prolong the euphoria, she reached up eagerly but he drew his handsome head away, a smirk shining at her along with a deep dimple. Accepting his self-control, she fell against his broad chest instead and hugged him tightly, burying her face in the deep muscles.

"Adam...I..."

"Shhh, don't say anything," Adam smiled into her perfumed hair, "Not just now. I love you, my lady."

Safe against him and his arms about her, Evangeline had no trouble conceding to his request. They stood together, enjoying the moment until a door opened downstairs and Ben's voice rang out, calling for his son.

"We're up here, Pa, just a minute," Adam replied, reluctantly steering Evangeline towards the stairs. She paused at the top, reaching for his hand and giving it a firm squeeze.

"I love you too. And I do trust you, always."

Adam winked at her and stole a brief kiss before leading her carefully down the stairs.


	44. Chapter 44

Baskets of food stuffs under each arm, Hop Sing looked up at the house and his jaw dropped as he glanced around at the surrounding valley and the buildings spotting the view. His heart softened at seeing the beautiful lake shining on the horizon, the ghostly outline of the Sierra mountain range on the furthest shore. _What a magnificent place to start a new life for Number One Son_ , he mused, the smooth flow of Mandarin leaving his lips in a musical whisper. His slanted eyes closed for a second, memories of the eldest Cartwright son coming to mind from down through the years and...a pain shot through his soul. He would miss the wise and brooding presence of the young man who had helped make the Ponderosa, the home that it had become. The cook felt privileged that he had been blessed with watching that gangly, freckled boy grow into the handsome and intelligent man that Adam Cartwright had developed as in the end, his name known throughout the lands as the definition of cunning and honesty.

"Hop Sing? Is this where I'm going to live?"

Jody's childish voice broke through Hop Sing's thoughts and the cook turned to smile at the boy waiting patiently in the buckboard. Hop Sing regarded the child and nodded to himself, thinking that perhaps there would be another dark-haired man of similar strengths gracing the dinner table in time...now that was something to look forward to.

"Yes, Little Jody, this where you live real soon with Mr Adam and Missy Evangeline. You happy here, promise that always." Hop Sing reached out a hand for his newest beloved charge to take and Jody jumped down, careful of his healing arm which was still in a loose sling. Together, man and boy ran up the steps and into the house to join the others. The family had assembled, and were busy greeting and congratulating the happy couple on the beauty of their spread. Feeling awkward and needing something to keep busy during the celebration, Katherine volunteered to help with dinner. Hop Sing wasn't sure at first but he had grown fond of the troubled young woman so he agreed, rolling his eyes when Joe offered to lend his "useless but willing help", as he put it. Adam noticed the lovesick grin on his brother's face and smiled because the horseback ride must have gone well. While the food was prepared and laid out, Frank and Abel sat on convenient chairs so that they could relax and enjoy watching Evangeline in action as she perused what she wanted done to the house, the three Cartwrights trailing along behind her skirts like so many lost sheep.

While the ranch's owner was more or less pleased with the furniture arrangement, his opinionated bride was a different matter entirely. Falling silent fairly fast, Adam walked over to his grandfather and father-in-law to lean against the wall, crossing his arms across his chest. A chuckle rose in his lungs as his hazel eyes followed the slender figure of his woman as she took over and ordered Hoss and Ben to do her bidding. Not in a harsh manner but she was firm in her decisions and it pleased him to no end to see the bloom in her cheeks.

In the half hour that followed, Evangeline Williams, soon to be Mrs Adam Cartwright, declared herself mistress of The Running J through word and deed. Under her firm but appeasing direction, Hoss and Ben were glad to help; changing the order of those chairs or removing that table to be placed in the office, flipping the settee around so that it was facing the parlor fireplace and rearranging a rug here and there to balance out the look of each room downstairs. Evangeline stood back when all was in readiness. A grin lit her face and she clasped her hands behind herself as she stood in the middle of the living room, turning slowly to survey her handiwork.

"Oh, thank you, gentlemen, for your help! Now, this looks perfect. Adam, what do you think? Don't you think that this floor plan has a better flow?"

His warm laugh filling the room, Adam came to her side and gave her a hug. He kissed her forehead and kept his arm about her shoulders. "I think I'm smarter than that to say one way or the other when you have your mind already set, darling. The house is perfect, as long as you are here in it. _The heart, like the mind, has a memory. And in it are kept the most precious keepsakes._ "

"Hey, good one, Adam!" Joe chortled, coming out of the kitchen with an apple in one hand and a smirk on his face. "What a line, I might have to remember to use that one some day. I'm surprised she still listens to all that poetic dribble, older brother! Oh, dinner's ready. You all better come before Hop Sing has a fit!"

"Keep your shirt on, we're coming. There's no need to be rude," Adam retorted, mildly annoyed at being made fun of in front of his future wife and in a moment when he was making his feelings known too. Joe had the worst timing when it came to his joking tendencies, that could never be disputed. Adam held his tongue though, not wanting to ruin the evening with an argument.

Sensing the tension in Adam's body, Evangeline frowned for she had no such problem calling out his brother's inappropriate behavior. "Being sensitive is never a crime, Joe. I'll have you know that the quote is straight from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow who just happens to be one of the greatest poets of our time. And I agree. That was rude and unwarranted. I think you should apologize. Right now."

Their eyebrows raising, Ben and Hoss looked at each other in surprise as Joe mumbled an apology, sufficiently chastised and red-faced, stating that he hadn't meant any real harm by his teasing. Evangeline seemed satisfied and turned to Adam, taking his arm and allowing herself to be led out of the room. But she shot a warning look at Joe on the way past which didn't go unnoticed by those present, except for Adam who was focused on getting his bride seated for he had already shrugged off the incident. When the couple were gone, Ben clasped Joe's shoulder firmly and chuckled loudly, making the younger man give him an annoyed glance.

"Goes to show you, Joe. Your brother not only has his own smarts to fall back on but he also has an advocate...with a cat's claws! You don't stand a chance now..."

Laughter burst forth and continued as the family was seated around the table. Ben made sure to slap Frank on the back and congratulate him on raising such a fine daughter. Abel was called upon to say the blessing and the bowls, filled to the brim with scrumptious food, were passed around; plates were filled and soon stomachs were full and plump. Hop Sing was thanked profusely and as he began to clear, the diners moved back into the spacious parlor to stretch out with snifters of brandy, Jody receiving a glass of cold milk.

After handing out the drinks, Adam joined Evangeline on the settee, lacing fingers with her and whispering something in her ear that made her blush and giggle. Adam winked over at Jody who grinned back, not quite understanding what was so amusing but finding the man's smile to be too contagious to resist. He ran over and climbed into Adam's lap, received warmly and held tight while conversation continued over the boy's head. The steady hum of voices relaxed Jody's eyelids until he began to drift off. After all, there was nothing like a full belly, Adam's arms and boring adult conversation to make sleep appear as a beacon on the horizon of consciousness.

Observing the relaxed environment from under bushy eyebrows, Abel felt that the time was right to do what needed to be done so he stood to his feet and drew the attention of those present. Eager, curious faces looked to him and he battled a rush of self-consciousness as he turned to his granddaughter. She also was looking at him with anticipation but he also knew that she had some idea of what he would say.

"Katherine, my dear, would you join me?" With a shy smile, Katherine rose and took her grandfather's hand. He smiled at her before looking out over the beloved members of his family and those soon to be part of it, Frank and Evangeline. "A few days ago, Adam asked me to get a second opinion for an illness I was diagnosed with a time ago in Boston. He couldn't accept that I wasn't long for this world so I agreed. As you all know, your doctor, Doctor Martin, took a look over my old bones earlier this day and I have to tell what he found because I feel it's only right after all the trouble I've caused. "

His dark head having snapped up, Adam tensed and when Evangeline glanced with concern at his face, she saw both fear and hope therein. She took his hand in hers and found the long fingers to be trembling. His eyes were fixed on the old man and his voice was uncertain when he spoke, "What...what did he say? Has your condition changed?"

Abel chewed his bottom lip, struggling to maintain his composure. "No. It has not. The doctor did say that I would have about a year or two longer to live than the doctors in Boston said but this doesn't make much difference one way or the other, in my opinion. Katherine here, says that she wants to go back there with me, to Boston, for what remaining time I have left."

Katherine's smile gentled further and her face was peaceful as she kept her eyes on Abel. "Yes, the idea of going abroad was most tempting but I have decided to return to Grandfather's house to make new memories with him. It's time that the past was put behind us and I moved on with happier times."

Those words meaning so much to him, Abel thanked her hoarsely and pulled her into an embrace. Smiles were shared between them as they parted and remained trapped in their own world, staring into the other's face. But the quiet was then shattered. Adam stood suddenly from his seat, his face set in a mask of stone. All eyes turned to him, waiting for him to speak but only the ticking of a wall clock tainted the silence. Adam's chest was motionless, as if he had lost the ability to take a breath. He blinked rapidly before turning away, slamming the door as he fled outside.

"Adam...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." Abel started but didn't get the chance as his grandson was gone along with Evangeline who jumped to her feet and hastened to follow. The door clicked quietly and the room became deathly still, except for Jody running to Hoss for comfort and reassurance. Abel sat down slowly, his shoulders slumped.

"I never wanted to hurt him."

"A man can take only so much loss before he can't run from it anymore," Ben said quietly, "I think Adam has reached his limit and now must face his pain head on. Give him time. He needs time...and her. I pray that he will open up to her at least, if not to us..."

I* * * * *I

The night was cool but darker than normal, clouds forming overhead and blocking out the starlight. Thunder rumbled in the distance and the wind was picking up when Evangeline came out of the house. A rainstorm appeared to be on the way and a bad one at that. She wrapped her shawl tighter about herself to keep out the cool and tried to peer out into the darkness to spot Adam. He was nowhere in sight and his dark clothing would make it difficult for him to be found. Fear rose in her throat and she called out to him but there was no answer.

Running down the steps, she looked around wildly, trying to catch sight of him. A light came on in the barn, faint and weak, like the glow from a single lantern. Relief turned into anxious concern as she hastened towards the barn, the wind clawing at her skirts as she ran in and struggled to close the heavy door. Turning to scan the interior, she hesitated and stepped forward quietly, not wanting to startle the dark figure in the closest stall.

"Adam...what's wrong?" Evangeline entreated softly, "Tell me what you need, sweetheart. Anything you say and it's yours."

In the faint light, she saw Adam's shoulders droop and his head lower as he continued to pet Jupiter's sleek shoulder. The black stallion was uncommonly quiet and subdued, turning his majestic head to wrap his neck around his master, as if to shelter the man in the best way that he knew how. Adam reached up a hand to cradle Jupiter's strong jaw and the horse responded by clacking his teeth together in a show of submissive trust. When the stallion moved off to the other side of the stall to nibble at a few strands of scattered hay, Adam stood alone in the middle, his hands coming to rest on his hips. He didn't turn but Evangeline heard him sigh, a shaky sound that was filled with grief. When he did face her, his cheeks were wet.

"Angie...I...I...need...I need..." He couldn't continue. His face crumpled and he buried his head in his hands, sinking slowly to his knees as he wept.

"Oh, Adam...darling, it's alright," Evangeline soothed, tears in her own eyes as she rushed to his side and cradled his head against her waist, rubbing his shoulders comfortingly. He continued to allow the tears to flow, bringing his arms up to hug her tightly. She continually ran her hand along the side of his head, running her fingers in his black hair. "Let it out, sweet one, it's been a long time coming. I'm here...I'm here...and I'll never leave," she whispered, bowing her head and feeling as if her heart would break when she felt his body begin to shake harder. "Shhhh, shhhh, you are okay..." she repeated, again and again as she went to her knees, holding him ever tighter, his head buried in her shoulder. She thought that perhaps he would quiet quickly, as he had done in the doctor's office when he had lost control, but this night he didn't. She could only hold him and speak gently as he shook, an occasional harsh cough punctuating the gut-wrenching sobs that wracked his large frame.

Finally, he calmed against her and she could feel him trying to take full breaths to calm himself. Then he sat up and turned his face away, running a hand under his nose and each of his eyes. Though being placid, he refused to make eye contact. Scooting up against the stall wall, he leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling, one last tear escaping down his cheek.

"Adam, look at me."

"I c...can't," he whispered, sniffing and covering his eyes with his right hand.

"Why can't you? You have no need to be embarrassed. Look at me."

Letting his hand fall listlessly to his thigh, he turned to her and she drew in a breath upon seeing the red-rimmed eyes staring back at her. She reached up to caress his cheek and those tired orbs closed as he leaned his face into her touch. What she was going to say flew out of her head and she remained silent, waiting for his lead. She moved her arms about him and drew him close again, stroking the back of his head reassuringly. Moments passed but the only sound was the munching of the barn animals and Jupiter's occasional stomp to ward off an irritating fly.

"I...I am so sorry about your grandfather," she whispered into Adam's black hair. He sighed, the breath draining from his lungs.

"I don't know why it surprised me so much," he said numbly, "There is so much left unsaid and undone. There was a time that I would have did anything to see his face once more...and the faces of Pa and my two brothers. I don't know where the time went...why I feel like I lost something precious...time is a cruel entity. It can't be reasoned with or bargained for. It just moves on, not caring who it tramples in its wake."

She tightened her grip on his shoulders, sensing something deeper churning in him as his heart picked up speed under his red shirt, thumping against her arm. An eternity passed before he broke the silence.

"Did...did I ever tell you about Peter Kane?"

Wondering what this random man had to do with Adam's grief over Abel, Evangeline shook her head and sat back to meet his troubled eyes. Although she vaguely remembered Ben mentioning an incident in the desert that had happened years before, she couldn't remember any details. "No, you didn't. Who is he?"

"Was. The word you want is _**was**_ ," Adam's voice was bitter and hard, so unlike his normal warm tones. Moving away from her, he struggled to his feet and moved to pet Jupiter again before he attempted to continue. "Three years ago, almost four...Joe and I headed a cattle drive to Eastgate, a small town up north of here. It was routine and everything went according to plan. After we both had a bath to get rid of the weeks of trail dust, I headed out towards home because I wanted some time alone to think. As you can well imagine, two months with only Joe for company can wear very thin."

Evangeline nodded but didn't smile. She waited for him to continue but he was having a hard time and she knew that, just by watching the pain pass over his face. "Adam, you don't have to tell me if it's this hard for you. Truly...if you want to only stay out here for awhile and not speak, I would understand. You don't owe me an explanation..."

"No...no," Adam shook his head violently, a knot in his throat making it almost impossible for him to get the single word out, "I have known that you must find out at some time and it's been eating at me. If I don't get this out, I never will and it will be between us all our lives."

A bit frightened, Evangeline swallowed hard, searching for the best way to began again. "So, you were on your way home?" she said gently, "Did Joe follow?"

"No. But two lowlifes from Eastgate did. Oh, yes, _**they**_ did and waylaid me on the trail a few hours out of town, taking my horse, supplies, my gun and the money. I was left with nothing and out in a scorching desert, alone and no one the wiser that I would be missing soon. I was without water or food and spent almost a full day stumbling around until I happened to come across a camp. In it was only one man who seemed nice enough at first, a miner who was working the nearby mine for gold. His name was...Peter Kane...and I made a deal with him. Food, water and transportation out of the desert on his mule if I would work the mine for him for three days. I was desperate and grateful for his help so I accepted. None the wiser, I worked, sunup to sundown. Without a break either, he saw to that. At the end of those three days, I was fed up with his attitude and told him so. I said I was leaving with or without him but that I was taking the mule either way because that was the deal he had made. In my arrogance, I was going to make him stick with it. He...he took the one rifle in camp and...shot the mule in the head...then he made me his slave. For two weeks, I worked for him, all the while he called me an animal, unfit to live or be respected in any way. He said that he would prove himself to be the better man and tried his best to do just that. He...he...made me to...maybe I shouldn't tell you these things..."

"I can take it. Please, go on. What did he do to you?" she asked quietly, feeling rooted to the ground as she sat against the wall, a cold chill running down her back and all feeling left her body. She couldn't move or breath as she waited, struggling to imagine her beloved being in the clutches of such a man as this "Kane". The idea that such depravities had been drilled into Adam's physique for two weeks straight filled her with a rage she had never felt before. Suddenly, her stomach was sick and she wanted to retch up the food she had eaten.

Adam took a deep breath and his voice cracked as he got through what he deemed was necessary to tell her. "He made me eat with my fingers and kept me tied to a post at night, so tightly that I couldn't sleep or move. My wrists were rubbed raw from the tightness of the ropes and grew infected as the days wore on, like he cared. Several times, he beat me, although never enough to permanently take me out of commission. He just liked to see me suffer, I think. His favorite thing to do was to kick me in the ribs, the stomach and...other places...when I least expected it and laugh if I...fell while hauling his damn rocks! Once, when I had especially angered him and he wanted to teach me a lesson, he tied me to one of the support beams in the mine, stripped off my shirt and took his belt to my back..I can't even remember why now. My only memory of that day is that moment. He struck slowly and harder as he went, making sure I felt every cut, until I didn't know where one welt stopped and the next started. I remembered someone screaming and only later realized that it had been myself. He kept it up for what felt like hours, laughing all the while. He said that animals needed to be shown who was boss and old-fashioned pain was the only way to do that. I remember feeling the cutting blows, the pain and then...nothing at all. I must have passed out. I guess because of my weakened state, the shock was too much and I was down for over a day straight. He only did that the one time though. I guess he decided I wasn't any good to him if he injured me too much."

Evangeline shook her head hard, tears hidden behind the hand over her mouth. It was full minute before she found her voice. "But...why? Why would he do those terrible things? And to a man who needed his help? I don't understand."

Adam shrugged and cocked his head in intense thought. "He was insane. He wasn't meant to be understood, only obeyed because of the rifle held in his hands. The more degraded I became, the giddier he was. In the end, he challenged me to a battle of wits over the rifle. The one who reached the weapon first, would kill the other man and be able to leave. I can't remember too much of that either. I only remember going at him and strangling him, my fingers around his throat, squeezing the life out of him," he stared at his hands and held them out in front of himself, looking at her with an almost crazed glint in his eyes, "And he seemed pleased about it! 'I win, I win'...he kept repeating that over and over again until I thought I had gone mad myself."

"You killed him?"

Adam bristled and turned away, overcome by guilt but then he realized that her tone had not been condemning but almost hopeful, in fact. "I don't know to be honest. I was near out of my head with hunger, fatigue and thirst that I couldn't tell you. I think I let him go in time and I know I saw him still moving but everything after that is a blur. Pa told me though that when he and Hoss and Joe found me, the devil was dead on a travois I had been pulling. I still don't know why I was doing such a thing. What would have possessed me to do that after what he did to me?"

Unable to remain still any longer, Evangeline rose from the straw and came to him, tears shining in her eyes as she touched his arm. He cringed away, extending a hand to steady himself against the wall. He was trembling as repressed memories were revisited and a shiver coursed through him. Her heart bled for him and everything became clear to her then. All of the sadness in his eyes, in his manner, that had always been present during the time she had known him. Even when he laughed or teased, still that lonely sadness was nestled behind those beautiful eyes, a silent plea for help that few recognized.

"I am so sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Adam looked up with surprise.

Evangeline's face was twisted and her eyes were full of something he hadn't seen before...hatred. A single tear escaped down her cheek, so great was her churning emotions. "I am sorry that I wasn't there to kill him myself," she said in a cold, deadly tone, turning her back and clenching her fists angrily at her sides, "Such an evil being is unfit to walk the same ground as you. Unfit to live in the same world! To breath the same air! To enjoy the same blue sky! How...dare...he! You were alone and in need and he tore at the very heart of who you are. But you were stronger than all that...and you beat him at his own game."

"But I let myself get roped into the situation in the first place. I was stupid and...maybe I deserved it. Everything."

Evangeline's mouth fell open. She couldn't believe what she was hearing and it struck her speechless. Turning back to him, she stepped in front of him and put a finger under his chin, raising his eyes so she could see them clearly. "I am so proud of you, Adam Cartwright. So...very...proud of you. There were forces of evil that brought you into a horrific situation but you survived. You're here. Look around you! This is your ranch, your barn, your prize stallion, your fiancée who loves you more than life itself. Look how far you have come in these four years! That despicable monster may have been trying to grind you into the hot dust of that desert but he didn't know that your first namesake was made from dust, an unblemished symbol of the human race. Don't you remember what it says in Genesis? 'And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.' He named that first human being 'Adam'...like you," she reached up to run a finger along his jaw as she smiled tearfully, "And do you know what God said when he had done that? He said that his creation was good. He said that...Adam...was a good thing that he had created. I firmly believe he said the same words when you were born, my love. He smiled at your first cry and the angels rejoiced that there would be such a wee babe to grow into a man of virtue and are so good, and kind and strong...and it is others' fault if they choose to not see that. What Kane did to you was unspeakable and unforgivable but what I am trying to say is that you were wronged, plain and simple. It wasn't your fault that you were taken and abused. You were the injured party and was as innocent as a lamb. He was the monster, despicable and cruel. If what happened to you happened to me? Would it be my fault?"

"No, but..."

Evangeline shook her head and hushed him with her fingertips covering his mouth. "No...you wouldn't say it was my fault and you know it. You would say that it was all on his head and that he deserved what he got. You would tell me to move on from blaming myself. Don't you see? You did nothing wrong and have nothing to feel guilty about. The truth is just as I said. He was unfit to be in your presence, let alone do the things he did. What if you had died there? Then he would have hurt many others, I'm sure of it. You stopped him, by your sheer will. Look at me, Adam...you are the better man. You triumphed and were able to find me and, together, we can begin a brand new life, free from his clutches. And that is what you need to cling to. I'm not going anywhere."

Evangeline leaned in close and brushed his lips with her own, searching until he yielded his mouth to her tenderness, allowing her to pull him closer and hold him in her arms. His body still trembled from too many memories but in time, the shaking abated. When she drew away at length, he laid his head on her shoulder, safe against her and a sigh filled with peace was expelled from his lungs.

Staring blankly at the wall, Adam couldn't speak. He felt completely and utterly exhausted, devoid of any sensation. More memories invaded but a light had been cast upon them that only time and a fresh perspective could provide for his wounded soul. He had felt so small and weak, during the hell and ever since that he couldn't think of much else in those quiet moments between sleep and wakefulness, over the pages of a forgotten book or the blurred view of a mountain range in the heat of the day. No matter how high he held his head in Virginia City or how arrogant of a show he put on in front of dangerous outlaws, always was there a tearing fear that any random person, no matter how innocent or unassuming, could take advantage and mutilate what was left of his dignity. So he had retreated more and more into himself; built walls and posted guards around his heart. He had done what needed to done; staying strong for his father, for his brothers, running the ranch when needed, clinching business deal after business deal that increased the wealth of the Ponderosa every day and he made more frequent trips to the western coast under the guise of ranch affairs when really he only wanted to immerse himself in culture to prove that he was indeed civilized. But that all had done no good except serve to contrast with that mining camp and make the horrors more vivid. In every good meal was a memory of the hunger, in every drink of fresh water was the memory of the thirst and every time he sat on a soft bed or felt the comfort of a blanket around his shoulders, he cringed with the fatigue of so long ago...and through it all, Kane's words beat out a cruel beat in his brain... _you have proven yourself unworthy of trust and so you must be treated like an animal._ But now, something had changed. He wasn't sure what it was but it excited him.

"Evangeline Williams?" Adam smiled, raising his head to stare down at her, into her glistening blue eyes. "Will you marry me?"

She laughed softly but biting her lip to quench the river of tears that threatened to overwhelm her. "I think that can be arranged, Adam Cartwright. I hope you always know how much I adore you."

"I do. But I love you more, I'm sure, because my heart feels as if it will burst," Adam chuckled, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Will you be alright? Now that I know your innermost thoughts and past?"

"I know I will. I can't promise I won't be a bother at times but I can assure you that I will endeavor to be the man you spoke of. The one with so much going for him. You are right and I know that now. What happened may have been bad, horrible even, but it led me to you. I never told you this, but the day I met you off the stage, I was buying a one-way ticket. I was planning on leaving for good and always because I thought my family would be better off without me. My dark moods, the nightmares...I couldn't handle them anymore and blamed my surroundings for them. In hindsight, I think that I needed to only shift my gaze to an angel to find relief."

Evangeline whispered his name and their lips met as rain begin to fall outside, pattering on the roof. When they stepped out of the barn, arm in arm, the refreshing sprinkle soothed their skin as they walked slowly, unwilling to let the moment end. Adam stopped, turning to pull her close again and dipping his head to hers as they lingered in another embrace. Misting droplets bedewed their clothes although the lovers scarcely noticed. A lightning bolt could have struck them and they would have been none the wiser. Reluctantly, they continued on until the house was reached.

The family was in the exact same spots as when the couple had left and Adam felt a pang of guilt upon seeing the disturbed faces, especially the look of regret on Abel's. Full of regret, Abel rose and looked uncertain at his grandson. Not saying a word, Adam strode over to his grandfather and smothered the old man in a hug before looking sheepishly at him.

"I'm sorry for leaving like I did."

Abel placed a hand on Adam's shoulder. "Don't be. I could have sprung that news on you in a much better way. I hope that you and your young wife here will come visit Katherine and I this fall. We would be honored to have you both as our guests."

Evangeline smiled, standing by Adam's side and meeting his hopeful gaze. "That sounds perfectly marvelous, Captain Stoddard, we would be honored to accept."

"You can count on it," Adam added, a grin breaking forth.

Hoss took that time to stand with a sleeping Jody in his arms. "Well, I think it's probably best we call it a night. This little one needs a warm bed and I'm feeling a mite tuckered out myself."

The rest of them agreed and soon the buggies were filled with occupants and rumbling along the road to the Ponderosa; Adam and Evangeline in the first one, Joe and Katherine in the second and Ben, Frank, Abel, Hoss and Jody piled into the large buckboard. A jolly time was had in the second and third buggies and much laughter drifted up to Evangeline's ears. She smiled and looked to Adam who winked and kissed her forehead. Contented and so happy, she melted into his chest as he put an arm around her and in warm silence, the betrothed couple enjoyed the ride and bid each other a tender goodbye outside of her room. Caught up in a deep kiss, the two lingered, unwilling to part until the ceremony.

"Rest well tonight," Adam murmured into her sweet-smelling hair, "I want you looking as beautiful tomorrow as you do right now. I love you."

Evangeline stood back and trailed a hand to his neck as she opened her bedroom door. "Take care, my love, the next time we are alone...we will never be apart again."

"Until we meet on the cliff, my lady," he smiled, kissing the back of her hand gallantly. He ached to follow her as the door closed but he knew he wouldn't have long to wait now.

Later, after Adam had bedded Jody down for the night, Ben was giving his son the nightly massage when the older man had a question.

"Are you happy, Son? You seemed very upset earlier tonight."

A moan escaping his mouth as the knots were worked from his back by his father, Adam nodded against the bed, a smile hidden in the sheets. "I am, Pa. I am perfectly...truly...and completely happy. I will be fine."

Unlike the million other times that Adam had spoken those four words, Ben believed him this time and he smiled as he finished and helped Adam into bed, pulling the covers up to his son's chin. Adam was asleep within seconds and gave the nostalgic father time to stand over the bed and watch his firstborn drift in slumber. Ben lingered, knowing that this would be the last chance he would likely ever get to observe his eldest son like this. On one hand, it was a sad occasion but Ben couldn't believe that it was all as it was. Though he was melancholy as he quietly closed Adam's door behind himself, a joy also filled his heart because he knew that Adam would be alright now. The real Adam, his precious boy, had returned to stay.


	45. Chapter 45

_Thank you, everyone for reading through my saga of a story and for giving me so much encouragement over the months! Special thanks to AC1830, Krystyna, SierraBZGirl and Kirsi who all never doubted my ability to finish this book of Adam's marriage to Evangeline Williams. There is only one more chapter to go after this one and I hope you enjoy the way I bring the story to a close. If anyone should like origin photos of Evangeline's dress, her necklace and Adam's suit then PM me and I will send them your way. Thanks again!_

 _I* * * * *I_

 _The Ponderosa appeared normal on the exterior, the porchlight shining cheerfully and radiance glowing in the windows of Ben's office. But, if one would peer in through the glass, a strange though beautiful scene was unfolding. Adam Cartwright led a beautiful woman, black hair flowing to her waist, into the middle of the great room, wrapped his arms about her and began to lead her in a swaying waltz. Around them, there could not be found one item of furniture, carpet or trapping to call the house a home. The walls stood empty, cold and dark except for a glow that followed the lovers' movements as they stepped in time to each other._

 _The couple moved effortlessly around the great, empty room, the silent walls being the only witnesses to the musicless dance. Adam held The One gently, splayed hands on her narrow waist and his eyes searching her lovely face as she smiled up at him. Her fingers held his ribs tenderly; her fingertips traced his strong sides and she reached up to touch his face with a trembling hand. Her caress was as fire, jolting through his body when she touched his cheek and the intensity shocked him. His eyes grew wide and he gasped, all air leaving his lungs as tendrils of energy gripped his body within their power._

 _The room fell away. The One dissolved before his eyes and he found himself alone, standing on a cliff._

 _A fierce, cold wind whipped at his black hair and drew tears from his watery eyes. He called her name aloud but his voice was lost into the vast expanse of mist stretching to the blue skyline, miles distant. His attention was captured by the churning heavens above, consisting of cream, lavender and blue hues, swirling into one rotating vertical shape. Faster and faster, the funnel spun until the brightness was painful and the clouds dissipated in a blinding flash. A ball of radiance blasted from the top and headed straight for him, hitting his chest and absorbing into the deep muscles with savage intent._

 _A cry of pain was ripped from his being and he fell to his knees, trembling and hunched over as agony consumed his body. Bolts of suffering traveled through each limb and threatened to beat his heart out of his chest. Even if four pulling horses each had a rope attached to one of his ankles and hands and were heaving in opposite directions, there couldn't be any greater agony; as if he was being torn apart, limb from limb. Another cry escaped his parched lips, a sound that was strangled and pained, a sound of utter human torment. A slash of pain, a new, sharper sensation among the rest snapped across his back and left him breathless. Again the cutting agony struck again and it was all he could do to hold back another scream. The pain grew higher and higher until with a strangled gasp, he rose up on his knees and threw his head back, the discomfort dissipating instantly and faster than it had arose._

 _Two majestic white wings, tipped with black, sprouted from his shoulder blades. New bone was grafted on in the blink of an eye and built the structure as the feathers grew around the growth, quivering and reaching outward. Twin trickles of blood ran down his back as the skin was pierced brutally and healed instantly. The cold wind hit his body as the loving glow gently loosed the seams of his clothes, the neat pieces floating around him and then they fell away from whom they were unworthy to cover for one more second, dissolving into the ground where his red blood had dried black. The light took over, traveling over every inch of his naked skin until his appearance was smoothed into a seamless glow that shielded his modesty. A gasp was drawn from his throat as he was lifted, off of his bruised knees and into the air. His bare feet groped for solid ground blindly while the wings nurtured his weight, holding and supporting him with their strength. Ceasing to fight, he watched in awe as a view like none other was revealed when he rose high enough to see over the rocks along the edge of the cliffs; a green valley of pine trees, surrounded by snow-capped mountains that stood strong along the horizon like sentinels, guarding the beauty and beckoning him. A sparkling river cut a path from the hills in the distance and ended in a shimmering lake, the bounds of which could not be seen._

" _Oh, I wish you were here, dearest darling..." he breathed, flexing his shoulders and hearing his wings rustle._

" _I am, my prince."_

 _He spun around and his eyes flew wide. Clothed in a white flowing robe that resembled a Greek garment that might have been worn by ancient women, The One stepped forward, her shiny, midnight wings extended and rustling in the wind. She held out her hand and he placed his in her warm grip. A smile touched her beautiful face._

" _Take me home, Adam..."_

" _I don't know the way," he responded breathlessly, his gleaming beauty washing with confusion._

" _Yes, you do. You have always known...sweet one."_

 _Her smile widened and she rose into the air beside him, drawing him to the tallest rock on the edge of infinity. Glancing his way, she winked and gestured to the sun rising from over a distant mountain. His eyes followed where she pointed and suddenly, he understood. She saw the light spark in his hazel pools and the hold on his hand tightened as she nodded her consent._

 _Wings lifting, feathers unfurling, hearts slowing, the winged couple lifted higher, hovering only long enough to meet the other's gaze before diving over the sheer edge as one. The One laughed in pure delight as she followed her man, her wings thirsting for more challenge as they drove against the wind as one, her excitement growing with each powerful, effortless thrust. His throaty chuckle tinkled in the wind as they leveled off side by side, hands clasped across the distance between their bodies._

 _An angelic smile making his face look surreal, Adam turned his head and caught her eye. Her black hair was streaming behind her, all the way to her waist and her face was filled with laughter. Her dark wings bore against the wind, threshing up and down every few seconds to maintain the altitude that had been achieved. All he could think to say were a few words of adoration,"I love you,_ **mi amado ala** _,_ **mi belleza inmortal** _..._ **my beloved wings** _,_ **my immortal beauty** _...I am now complete in you."_

 _She turned her head and smiled his way, twisting her body so that she was hovering in front of him. He took her into his arms and kissed her with all the love that was in him. His wings reached for the sun as he carried her to the highest mountain peak that he could see on the horizon._

 _"I love you, darling, I love you...I promise to protect you always..."_

The sound of his own voice permeated Adam's slumber and a smile graced his mouth as consciousness beckoned to him. His eyes opened and he lay perfectly still, turning his head to gaze at the sunshine flooding through the one window in his room. He lay a hand over his stomach and put an arm behind his neck, peaceful and warm in his bed. Birds sung outside, chirping happily and mirrored the contentment in his chest. After so many years of loneliness and adversities...this was his wedding day...or rather, **their** wedding day. His and Evangeline's time to shine. It was their time in the sun.

There was a knock on the door and Ben entered, smiling at his son while taking a seat on the bed. He divested himself of the package in his arms, placing the large bundle on the desk chair before looking over at the man who continued to stare dreamily out of the window. "How are you feeling today, Son?"

"Better than ever before, I would say. Today will be a great day," Adam turned his head and the gentle look in his face was all the confirmation needed.

"This is a big step in your life. A very big step. Sure you're up for it?"

"No," Adam chuckled at his father's teasing tone, pushing up with his hands to sit against his headboard. He leaned his head back with a sigh and gazed at the ceiling, that same contented grin continuing on his lips, "But I am more than ready to have a wife. I am...so tired of being alone. I mean, not that I haven't always felt supported by you and Joe and Hoss but there's something about looking into a woman's eyes and knowing that...she accepts your dreams and hopes. More than that, she wants to be right there by my side during every step of the way. Can you understand that, Pa?"

"More than you know...and that reminds me." Ben reached for the package, staring down at the brown paper and running his hand lovingly over the words written on top. At length, he handed it over. "This is very special and I have kept it for many years. Just for this day. Thirty-six years to be exact."

Adam was shocked when upon taking the gift, across the top and in unfamiliar writing, were the words, "To my darling baby, on the morn of your wedding day if I, in some sad event, should be unable to attend. All of my love to you, my child. Your mother, Elizabeth Cartwright"

"But...but...how?" Adam stammered, his hand trembling as his fingers traced over the print.

Ben smiled sadly. "During the months of confinement in bed before your birth, there were many things that Elizabeth created for you. Her lovely fingers were always flying, always busy it seemed. Three different blankets, an outfit or two, little hats and then this wedding gift. I am so sorry but this package was the only item to survive the years it took to travel out west."

Adam nodded solemnly, well remembering how many belongings had to be left behind on the trail and how many items of importance were left accidentally among them. He stared down at the package for what felt like an eternity until a quiet word from Ben prompted him to open it. With unsteady hands, Adam tenderly turned the package over, untied the string and drew the paper flaps back. From within was brought forth a maroon tailcoat; eight gold buttons adorned the front, two on each black cuff and two more cinching the waist tight in the back so that the soft wool would accent the wearer's physique. Setting the garment reverently to one side, Adam discovered one more surprise. A white shawl was brought forth and cascaded free as he held it up for inspection. The stitch was soft and delicately knitted, pink roses and tiny gold leaves having been embroidered over the tasseled triangle.

A note was attached to both the shawl and the tailcoat but upon reading each, Adam looked up with confusion. "Why does one say, 'To my son' while the other reads, 'To my daughter'?"

"Oh, that was because we didn't know what the baby was going to be, boy or girl, so your mother decided to make both a masculine gift and a feminine one. Then it wouldn't matter when our child married." Ben fought down a lump in his throat as he took the shawl and fingered one of the largest roses. He looked up and found Adam regarding him intently. The proud father's eyes crinkled fondly. "She would be so proud of you...of the man you've become. I think she accepted her health was bad, even though I told her again and again that wasn't so. I think she knew that she wasn't going to live long enough to meet your mate so she prepared, just in case. But I know she would have adored Evangeline. In a lot of ways, they are so alike but in others, your wife will be much stronger. Angie is strong in body and your children will have the Williams and Cartwright constitution in equal measure. Of that, I am also sure."

"I can only pray that is so. I don't know what I would do without her. For all my life, I have wondered how you survived the loss of three wives and now especially, when I can't even bear the thought of losing her. I couldn't go on if...something ever happened."

Ben disliked the sadness coming to Adam's eyes so he changed the subject. "Well, enough of these gloomier thoughts! How about I'll take care of your morning massage and then I'll leave so you can begin getting ready for your big day. Do you need help packing or anything?"

"No, I can manage but thank you," Adam said while turning over so to expose his back for the morning routine. "I'm sorry you have to do this so much. Trust me, I am just as tired of having it done as I am sure you are of doing it."

"It's no bother...although this is likely the last time I'll have to anyway," Ben laughed, working his fingers deep into his son's shoulders and moving lower, pressing harder and longer as he went. There wasn't even a flinch in response this time and Ben was heartened that Adam was well on the mend. Finishing up quickly, Ben stepped out and went downstairs to join the flurry of wedding activity going on, directed by none other than Hop Sing.

Alone at last to process everything that had been said, Adam changed out of his drawers and into a pair of new black pants, purchased just for this day. While buttoning up the pearl buttons of a crisp white shirt, he paused and sat on the edge of the bed. His eyes glistened brightly as he took the shawl into his lap and brought up the softness up to rub against his cheek. He inhaled deeply, trying to pick up some small scent, however impossible, that had remained from the woman's fingers which had woven each stitch over thirty-five years ago. There wasn't any sweet aroma to be found but he could almost feel her behind him, whispering in his ear.

Sighing, Adam rose and gently placed the shawl on the dresser before tucking in his shirttails and striding to his closet. Pulling a trunk from within, he proceeded to pack away all of his belongings; books, clothes, paintings from the walls, journals chronicling his life, Marie's fencing swords, Inger's bedspread and finally, the one picture of his mother was wrapped in tissue paper and lovingly tucked away. Then he took a small suitcase from the closet, opened it with a sly twitch of his lips as he took the shawl in hand and laid it on top of the items, closing the lid firmly.

Placing the case alongside the trunk, he glanced about the empty room and felt a bout of melancholy. Moving to the window, he looked out onto the familiar scene of mountains, green meadows and endless forests that he had admired from the same window every day since he was a young boy. This would never be his room ever again. It would be only an empty shell of his former life. Part of that realization saddened him but a larger part was accepting. This room was part of his past and he was surprised to admit that he was ready to leave both behind; in favor of a room to be shared with his new wife. A smile tweaked his lips...today was going to be a great day.

I* * * * *I

"Now, Miss Angie, ya got to stand still or I'll never get these buttons fastened!" Elvira scolded, being pulled along as Evangeline paced the small bedroom, back and forth.

"I'm sorry, Ellie..." Evangeline sighed, sitting on the chair in front of her vanity and not able to look at her own reflection for fear she had a wart on her nose, "I don't think that I have ever been this out of sorts."

"I would say you have good reason. After all, you only marry a man like Adam once in a lifetime," Elvira said, a twinkle in her eye. "There, I got the last one done so come over here and let's have a gander at ya."

More than nervous, Evangeline gathered the full skirt of her wedding dress and rose cautiously. She held the shimmering satin off the floor so that she wouldn't step on the layers as she walked across the room. The weight of the lengthy train pulled on her waist with every step and she smiled, feeling like a princess. But the image that appeared in the full-length mirror was of a scared young woman playing dress-up and not a bride. Transfixed by the inadequate girl, Evangeline stared into the eyes that stared back at her and a fear rose in her throat.

"Oh, Ellie, do you think I will do for him? I can only imagine how handsome, polished...and exquisite he is going to look and I..."

"Will shine like the very stars themselves. Mr Adam's going to faint when he sees the beauty he is marrying. Trust me and don't overthink something that shouldn't be. You should be ashamed of yourself."

Evangeline snapped around, confused as to why her fears were insignificant. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Just this. Adam loves you. YOU! Not something he wants of you. When he looks at you, he sees a strong, beautiful woman and he wants you more than any other in the entire world. You should be ashamed because when you doubt yourself, you are doubting his belief in you. You will have a husband to care for and nurture now and you can't afford to beat yourself down any longer. Do you understand me?" Elvira waited until she got a submissive nod before she went to the bed to open a large, oblong box, bringing forth the last piece of the bride's ensemble.

Bending her knees, Evangeline kept perfectly still as the sheer veil was pinned to her hair and her eyes widened when the delicate lace was firmly in place. Reaching up to touch the headband tentatively, she blinked away tears as she stared at her reflection. "I...am getting married! I never thought this day would ever come! This can't be real."

"Ah, but it is and the luckiest woman, is what you are, my girl," Elvira smiled tearfully as she finished primping the full skirt of the wedding dress and fluffing it so that the long train billowed out, falling back into a wrinkle-free moon shape. Her fingers worked diligently down the white lace of the veil, smoothing, crisping as she went and making sure that there wouldn't be a single imperfection to mar her dear friend's appearance. Just as she finished, there was a tap at the door and Frank stepped in, a shy grin on his face. Elvira took that opportunity to slip out and he stood inside the door, looking a bit out of place.

"Are you about done with your preparations, daughter? The ceremony is in only less than two hours and I still have to drive you to the cliff which takes over an hour."

"Yes, I think I am ready," Evangeline replied, turning slowly to face her father.

Frank's jaw dropped open and he came towards her, in awe of the angel in front of him. Reaching out a hand, he tipped her chin to the side and kissed her cheek. He took her into his arms and held her close and she hugged him back tightly. Without saying a word, they both knew what the other was thinking...that the only person who could make this day better was smiling down at them from above. Margaret Williams was proud of her husband and daughter, that much they could feel in their bones. She was there, maybe not in person, but her spirit lived on in her family...forever more.

"I have something for you, my dear," Frank whispered, pulling a flat box from his suit.

Evangeline opened the box and gasped at the ornate necklace lying in state on red velvet. Silver roses clung to spirals of the finest filigree and three fragile chains were attached to either side, coming together by a rose clasp at the top of the elegant circle. In addition, two diamond-studded earrings lay in the middle, sparkling in the morning light. Taking the box from her, Frank smiled as he took her by the shoulders and turned her so that her back was facing him. Brushing aside the veil, he slipped the necklace around her slender neck and did up the tiny clasp.

"Your mother wore this on our wedding day and so must you on yours and Adam's. She wanted you to have it on this special occasion but never got the chance. Even on her death bed...she reminded me to make sure I didn't forget to give you this. I must say, you do it justice, my dear."

Evangeline brought her hands to her throat as she admired herself again. "I have never seen anything so beautiful in all my life...thank you...so very much."

"You deserve the world and Adam better give it to you or he'll have me to answer to!"

She giggled, swatting his arm in mock irritation. "Poppa! Behave yourself! I swear that if you ever lay a hand on him, I'll lick you myself!"

A laugh burst from Frank's throat as he hugged her close and then drew back to cradle her face. Her hands closed around his wrists and she had tears in her blue eyes as she waited for him to speak.

"You are as beautiful as your mother was. Adam is so very lucky and, in all seriousness, I am beginning to think that he deserves you. I will never think any man completely does but he has come close a time or two. I respect him and I think he will make a fine husband for you. But, I'm still your father, and I want to know if he ever mistreats you. I'll have him in jail so fast, his head would spin."

Turning back to the mirror to admire her necklace and work on putting on the earrings, Evangeline smiled fondly. "Thank you, Poppa, but I think you are out of a job. He is the sweetest, kindest and most darling of men. It is I who is lucky and so happy that I feel I shall burst at the seams...I'll be finished in only a few minutes and then we can go. I have an appointment that I have to keep and I don't want to keep him waiting a second longer than necessary."

I* * * * *I

"Adam, hurry up! We gotta go soon!" Joe yelled up the stairs and snorted when there was no response. He paced back and forth in front of the fireplace before striding over to help Hoss who was fighting with his tie. Between the two of the young men, the offending string had no chance whatsoever.

Chuckling to himself, Ben leaned against the staircase and sighed, feeling a sense of calm that hadn't been present for some time. Dapper in his charcoal suit, silver vest and black stetson, the patriarch cut quite the dashing figure but he was unaware of that fact. Merely, he was finding enjoyment in the familiar trivialities that occurred while in preparation for a formal event; Joe was predictably impatient to be off, pacing up and down and finally settling down to help his struggling brother gain control over his clothes while Adam...well, Ben's eldest son would usually be outside already, bringing the buckboard round and waiting, an amused smile on his face as his brothers bickered between themselves. But today was different, Ben conceded. The state of their surroundings was enough of a testament to the changes taking place in the Cartwright household.

That early morning, the house had been transformed, richly decorated by Hop Sing, Elvira and a slew of townswomen. Garlands of wild flowers clung to the stair rails, hanging over the fireplace and filling vases throughout the great room. Twin sawhorses had been set up in pairs, boards stretching between them, and lace tablecloths thrown over the crude tables to provide plenty of seating for the wedding brunch to come. Later, the space could be easily cleared and opened up for a dancing floor. Nestled in the open area by the gunrack was a small table, set up for the bridal couple and laden with candles, crystal glasses, a large arrangement of violets and the best china that could be found on the Ponderosa. All was in readiness and nothing had been overlooked; Hop Sing had outdone himself once again.

A sad smile came to Ben's face as he counted his many blessings, such as the loyalty of the talented cook, while having a crushing weight settle on his soul. The realization hit him that the Cartwrights would no longer be known as the family of bachelors. The buggy ride to the wedding cliff would not only be the last time that Adam would leave as a single man but it would also be the last time he would call the Ponderosa, his true home...

"Well, it's about time ya got yourself down here, older brother! Come on, we are going to be late and the bride can't leave until you do," Joe's scolding voice broke through his father's thoughts and Ben turned quickly, his eyes softening when he saw his eldest son standing at the head of the stairs.

Adam was a sight to behold, being dressed in full style for the occasion. A pristine white shirt shone bright against the darkness of his black pants and a leather-tooled belt, complete with conchos and a silver buckle, sparkled at his waist. Elizabeth's coat fit his muscular frame to perfection and nipped in his sides trimly while a gray cravat had been nestled around his throat and pinned with a diamond pin. But, what struck Ben most was the combination of nervousness and bliss on his face.

"Pa? Are you alright?" Adam asked with concern, descending the stairs to grasp his father's arm gently.

Raising his head, Ben looked deep into his son's eyes and brought up his hand to cup the back of Adam's neck. "I'm fine, more than fine. I just can't believe that one of you boys is finally going to tie the knot."

Adam grinned merrily, his teeth matching his pure-white shirt. "I don't quite believe it myself at times. Well, how do I look? What do you think of Mama's coat? I was surprised it fit so well. Lucky, isn't it?"

Ben's throat choked slightly upon hearing "Mama" coming from Adam's lips but he composed himself in time to answer the questions . Stepping back, he nodded satisfactorily. "It suits you perfectly, Son. She used me as her mannequin so I'm not too surprised that it fits."

"Good thing too that Ole Adam didn't put any extra weight on 'fore the wedding," Hoss laughed, handing his brothers' hats to each of them.

"Thanks a lot, you're a real big help," Adam replied sarcastically but the grin was still firmly in place as he deftly slipped the black Stetson onto his fastidiously-combed hair. He looked around expectantly but didn't see who he was looking for. "Where's Katherine and Jody and my best man?"

"Hop Sing is already driving them out so we need to get moving."

"Oh, I have some luggage upstairs..."

"Hoss, Joe, go fetch Adam's cases and put it on the back of the wedding carriage. Make sure to cover everything well," Ben said as he steered Adam towards the door.

Too keyed up to care what his father was saying, Adam allowed himself to be propelled outside and into the buckboard. Within minutes, his brothers had climbed in and the horses stepped into a light trot. Adam craned his neck to look back at the house, the home he had helped to create and a somersault gripped his stomach. Glancing over the surrounding outbuildings and corral, he gritted his jaw and nodded one time...a silent gesture of respect to the happy part of what he was leaving behind. There were events in his past that he had deemed unworthy of remembering but there were also others which still brought a smile to his heart and he knew that the Ponderosa would always be a part of him. He faced forward and sat back, smiling as he looked up the road, to his future.


	46. Chapter 46

_Hello, my friends, well there it was, the long-awaited wedding chapter which will also be the last, long chapter of "_ _ **Spirit of a Wild One**_ _"! There will be the wedding, the reception and, of course, the wedding night. There is nothing explicit except infinite tenderness shown between the newlyweds. But out of deepest respect for those of you who may be more sensitive to the ways of "Man and Wife", I suggest that you can read only the bold text, however, so to still enjoy the rest of the story because there is a lot to absorb! Here we go and thank you for reading!..._

 **The snow-capped mountains, rising like so many stoic sentries layered out into the distance and covered in tall pine trees, never looked quite so beautiful to Evangeline's eyes as she rode along in her father's buggy. Memories were her constant companions and she delighted in reliving each one. When she had moved out to Nevada those months ago, angry at life and intent on finding more independence, never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined what happiness this magnificent countryside would bring. She remembered first seeing the breathtaking guardians of this rugged land and how she had felt so alive, tears forming where her cheeks had been dry for the past three years. Then she remembered that the same feeling had reoccurred hours later in Virginia City...when she had stepped out of the stagecoach only to be confronted by a tall, dark and intense-looking cowboy staring at her in surprise, his hazel eyes wide and his mouth dropping open when their eyes had met.**

 **In this breathtaking land of unforgiving landscapes and harsher men, there had been found one man living with a great loneliness in his heart and a great capacity to love. All he had needed was a woman with the same qualities and Evangeline raised her face to the clear, blue sky to thank her Creator for bringing two hurting people together for this most special of days. She mourning the death of her mother and he mourning the loss of a vital piece of himself had both led different lives but had somehow found their way to one another. Never had the sun shone so bright, it seemed to her, nor the air be as sweet and pure as this morning.**

 **Casting glances over to his contemplative daughter, Frank drove carefully, avoiding the dusty sections of the road and trying to drive in the grass as much as possible. He glanced to her again and smiled this time, reaching out a hand to find one of hers. She turned a dreamy, smiling face to her father, a faraway look in her blue eyes. She was so lovely, so perfect that images of his equally beautiful wife came to mind. He returned his attention to the road, grateful that Evangeline couldn't see his face for he was having trouble keeping his emotions at bay.**

 **Cursing himself for a fool, he thought back to the past years. For the last three years had been spent either ignoring his precious daughter or dominating her and he regretted that waste of time bitterly. Feeling a bit selfish, he wondered what he was going to do when he was left alone after this day but one more look at Evangeline quelled his melancholy. She was such a joy, a light to him in his darkest hours and such a treasure to have around every day. Now, she would be gone and he suddenly couldn't bear the thought of going home to his empty house in town. Wherever Adam would take her to eventually, Frank knew that he wouldn't be far behind or far away. There was no way his grandchildren would grow up not knowing their maternal grandfather.**

 **"Poppa, we're here at last!" Evangeline squealed excitedly as the buggy rounded a bend and up ahead, rows of buggies, surries, buckboards and other such conveyances sat along either side of the road. She spotted Adam's youngest brother waving to them and waved back. "Oh, look, there's Joe and Elvira...pull over here, won't you?"**

 **Having the honored job of meeting the bride and announcing her arrival, Joe grinned from ear to ear as he helped her down carefully until she was standing in the cropped grass. Frank bundled up her long train in his arms and Elvira took the veil in hand as the foursome came to the path leading around a huge boulder from where Evangeline would make her entrance. Not being able to help herself, she peeked around to catch sight of the guests seated on long benches and the red carpet stretching down the center aisle. She felt a fear strike her as she dreaded every eye there being trained on her. She never liked being the center of attention, now even less. Such crowds made her nervous and she fought the nausea roiling in her middle. She searched the faces desperately to catch sight of Adam. Most likely, he was in the middle of the group standing close together at the end of the aisle but she wasn't able to see his face. Hearing the low hum of numerous persons talking restlessly among themselves while they waited, she snapped back from view, leaning against the rock. Her heart was racing.**

 **"I don't see Adam...I don't see him. Can you see him?"**

 **Joe peered around a bush, smiled to himself and returned to Evangeline's side. "He is right up front, beside the captain and Pa. They're talking to Pastor Hogan but Adam keeps glancing back this way. He looks about as nervous as you are."**

 **"Really?" Evangeline stood straight and took a deep breath, courage beginning to flow through her veins again. "I guess he has been standing up there much longer than I will be."**

 **Putting the last finishing touches on the wedding dress, Elvira caught her eye and smiled encouragingly. "You'll be fine, Angie. Focus on him when you are walking down there, no one else. Breathe, honey, breathe," the widow soothed, bringing the front of the veil over Evangeline's face to shroud her beauty behind a cloud of delicate lace. "There, you are ready to go meet your man down the end of that aisle. This is the start of a new life for you. Leave all the other bad things in the past where they belong."**

 **"That's right, dearest," Frank agreed, touching his daughter's shoulder and smiling down at her, "Your mother is watching and she is so proud of you. Hang on tight to my arm and you will be next to your young man in no time at all. Are you ready to go then?"**

 **Evangeline let out a shaky breath and slipped her arm through his, accepting the bouquet of violets and white roses handed her by Elvira. Squaring her shoulders, she tightened her grip on both his arm and the flowers. "Let's go. I can't keep him waiting out there forever. He might think I changed my mind...as if I ever would."**

 **I* * * * *I**

 **In outward appearance, Adam made sure that he would appear calm and collected but, under that cool exterior, he felt like a little boy on the first day of school; his knees were shaky, his mouth was dry and his stomach was doing flips a mile a minute. He tried to listen to the conversation flying around him but he couldn't seem to concentrate on anything except the path disappearing behind the huge boulders that stood guard. He gave short answers to the questions posed to him by the men surrounding him and they soon left him alone, chuckling at his fidgety tendencies.**

 **Turning with a sigh, he looked out over the view and couldn't help the grin that surfaced. The Running J ranch, nestled in the mountainous valley below, shone in the morning sunlight and the whinnies of his thoroughbred herd could be heard from far away, rising like some kind of sweet music to his ears. He imagined how the same view would look in a year, two years, even five years maybe...when the sprawling four thousand acres of rangeland were dotted with hundreds of horses and herds of cattle, grazing and getting fat on the lush grass. Eventually, when he added to that his share of the Ponderosa which bordered this land and that his father had given him long ago, this ranch would encompass eighty-five square miles of mountains, timber, grass and watering streams. Quite the start for any man and with a beautiful wife like Evangeline and a son like Jody by his side, he felt invincible and ready to take on whatever came his way in future. A luckier man hadn't had the privilege of being alive, or so he was certain of at that moment.**

 **A pressure was applied to his arm and he turned to look into the face of his grandfather who had a knowing smile on his face. Abel looked into his grandson's eyes and then turned to take in the serene morning scene as well. A deep sigh came from the old man. Adam was content to remain silent, enjoying the nearness. He turned to once more glance down the aisle and drew in a sharp breath when he saw his youngest brother striding towards him. Joe winked at his brother and went over to speak quietly to the violinist who took up her bow and instrument immediately.**

 **Adam stiffened his back and felt rather than saw Abel's presence by his side as Ben and Joe took seats next to Hoss on the front row. The sweet and haunting refrains of "The Wedding March" rose into the air, tinkling into every ear, and all present stood from their chairs to turn to face the back of the assembly. Murmuring ceased and the air hung thick with anticipation.**

 **Paralyzed with delight, Adam froze where he stood as first Elvira appeared, her hands clasped away from her waist as she primly stepped down the aisle. Then Frank came into view and on his arm, her face shrouded in a mystifying fog, glided Evangeline...his love...his beautiful bride...the woman who had only lived in his dreams until now. There she was in all her glory, the sunlight highlighting the edges of her white dress and filtering into her veil so that he could catch a glimpse of her face briefly. Mouths fell open among the rapt audience but the silence remained unbroken otherwise as the sound of her footsteps on the grass could be heard approaching. He couldn't take a breath and waited in a flood of chills, his body feeling as if it was floating off the ground. Brief thoughts of his winged dream the night before brought a whimsical smile to his lips and pulled him back into the reality of what was happening before him.**

 **Step by dignified step, Evangeline drew closer and closer until Adam could hear the rustle of the silk and satin of her dress and smell her perfume on the breeze. She was brought before him by Frank who stepped back silently after hugging her in a last final act of a protective father. A slight tremble in his hands, Adam grasped the edges of her veil and drew the delicacy back over her head, allowing her face to be revealed to him for the first time since the night before. He looked upon her innocent beauty, the sparkle in her blue eyes and his adoration for this woman was so strong as to bring a pain to his chest. He closed his left hand about her small fingers and smiled slowly, a wink merrily directed her way as they both turned to face the minister.**

 **Evangeline fought back a smile and committed herself to concentrating on the vows to be said that she had prepared. Adam had suggested that both of them would start with the traditional promises and then speak freely to one another afterwards, in whatever words that suited them at the time. As she looked to the side and up into his handsome face, she knew exactly what she wanted to say as Pastor Hogan began his blessings upon the bridal couple.**

 **The minister spoke clearly and honestly, speaking of the purity of marriage, the trials that would most certainly test that most sacred of unions and the love that would stand the test of time. After his first dedications, he focused his attention on Adam and asked him to repeat the words that would come next.**

 **Evangeline's hands were taken in Adam's as he turned to her and his gaze fell on her face, staring into her eyes. The minister's voice came to her ears but she didn't hear what was being said until Adam's curved lips began to move.**

 **"I, Adam Cartwright...take thee, Evangeline Williams...to be my wedded wife...to have and to hold from this day forward...in sickness and in health...forsaking all others...until death do us part," Adam spoke loud enough for everyone to hear yet there was a soft edge to his baritone that was meant only for her. He glanced at Pastor Hogan for permission and received a nod before he continued, his voice breaking every so often to expose his emotion, "May I always be worthy of your strength, gentleness and beauty. Through the darkness of night and the sunshine of day, I will be at your side for all time. To protect you...to cherish you in the only way that you will ever deserve. You are my angel, the light of my life and I would be lost without your presence. Now and forever more, I pledge my wealth, my body and my love to you, Evangeline Williams."**

 **A tear escaped down Evangeline's cheek and her bottom lip trembled. She heard the pastor ask her to reply in kind and only when she felt Adam squeeze her fingers a bit harder did she break out of her trance. She focused on the words that she had waited to tell him ever since she had kissed him for that first time... _on the beach of Lake Tahoe...her back up against a tree...his hands planted on either side of her head as he loomed over her, his eyes snapping until a deep sadness had filled them...that was when she knew that she would do anything to rid those hazel jewels of the pain that plagued their every twinge...then in one move, he had taken her lips under his and she had felt peaceful for the first time in as many months_...**

 **"I, Evangeline Williams...take thee, Adam Cartwright...to be my wedded husband...to have and to hold from this day forward...in sickness and in health...forsaking all others...until death do us part," Evangeline's voice was clear but her tone contained a tremble as she managed to contain the tears blurring his handsome face. She glanced at Pastor Hogan for permission and received a nod before she continued, her voice rising strongly to a clear plateau, "On this day, I pledge my eternal love to you and promise to always follow...to trust...and to love you with my whole heart. You are the sun around which my world revolves and I will do my utmost to help you shine as bright as I know you do, can, and will. Now and forever more, I pledge my hopes and my dreams into your hands and there they will stay...along with my heart. I love you, Adam Cartwright."**

 **The minister turned to him again. "Adam? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, forsaking all others and clinging only unto her?"**

 **"I do," Adam croaked out, his face being a mask of control.**

 **"Evangeline? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others and clinging only unto him?"**

 **"I do," Evangeline smiled tenderly, winking discreetly at her beloved.**

 **The ring for her was produced by Abel and Adam slipped the slender, engraved band onto her finger, running his thumb over the diamond stud in the middle of the scrollwork. "With this ring, a symbol of my endless fidelity, I thee wed."**

 **Evangeline smiled confidently then, turning to Elvira and something was placed in her hand. Then to the surprise of those watching, including Adam's family, she took his left hand in her grasp, repeated the gentle sentence and then slipped a matching but thick band of gold over his knuckle. She raised his hand to her lips, pressing a kiss over the cold metal and warming it through while her eyes never broke contact with his.**

 **There wasn't a dry eye anywhere among the ladies and even a few of the men present could be seen discreetly passing a finger under their noses. The minister smiled and placed a hand on Adam's shoulder and Evangeline's as well. "By the power vested in me by God and the state of Nevada, I pronounce you man and wife. Adam...you may kiss the bride."**

 **His eyes glistening with his own tears, Adam turned onto Evangeline and reached up with his right hand to stroke her cheek, his fingers running down to cup her chin. A hush fell over the assembly, waiting with bated breath as he leaned in to kiss his wife for the first time, softly touching his lips to hers as she tilted her head upwards, the sun bathing her skin in purity...one time and then once more he kissed her, cradling her face in his gentle hands before standing straight and grinning widely. He took her hands in his, kissed her fingers and held them tight, never wanting to let her go again.**

 **Pastor Hogan looked out to the murmuring and contented audience and smiled broadly out over them. "I now have the pleasure to present, Mr and Mrs Adam Cartwright! Please join me in wishing them all the happiness that can be found on God's green Earth!"**

 **"Three cheers for Mrs Adam Cartwright!" Joe whooped, jumping out of his seat and the rest of the men joined him in throwing their hats into the air as they shouted and the ladies rushed forward to congratulate the couple.**

 **Swamped by well-wishers, Mr and Mrs Cartwright managed to escape eventually, walking briskly down the aisle and leaving the others behind as they drove away to be alone for a few minutes before joining their party at the Ponderosa. Leaning over to give her a peck on the lips every other second, Adam drove silently, further and further down out of the mountains. Lake Tahoe came into view and he only halted the team after pulling off the road, next to the spot of her dreams and their first kiss. Just like that first day, the sandy beach was white as snow, the water was shimmering on the icy surface, the mountains framed the horizon and ponderosa pines peppered the land leading up to the lake.**

 **Adam stepped out of the buggy and came around to Evangeline's side. He placed a hand on either side of the exit, staring into her eyes, a sly smile twisting his mouth. Evangeline grew uncomfortable, darting her eyes to the landscape and back to the stoic face of her beloved who still hadn't moved. At last, she smiled and lowered her head, twisting her hands in her lap.**

 **"Adam, what is it? Say something...," she looked into his face but his smile deepened and he didn't move. "Please? Anything..."**

 **He reached up and pulled her close into his grasp, kissing her deeply as she slipped her feet to the ground and molded her soft curves into his hard contours. When he drew his lips from her, his beautiful grin stole the breath from her body. Catching her up into his arms, he spun in place, her dress and veil billowing out around them as he laughed, spinning faster and faster until he stopped, engulfing her mouth in his again.**

 **"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you," Adam whispered when he parted from her, letting her body slide down his to touch her feet to the soft ground. Cupping her face in his large hands, he rested his forehead on hers, rocking on his feet and turning her in a silent dance. She reached up to kiss his soft lips and he responded hungrily, pulling her against himself and rejoicing in being able to have freedom, a commodity that had been hard-fought and hard-won. Reaching his hands to behind her head, he felt for the clasps that held her hair up but stopped himself, a deep groan vibrating in his throat.**

 **"We have to go back, my beloved...I don't want to do this here. You deserve better, angel..."**

 **"No..." Evangeline moaned breathlessly, reaching her hands behind her head to undo the veil and the clasps in her own hair. With a few expert pulls, the black locks fell to her waist and pillowed around her back and shoulders. She shook her head deliberately, the breeze catching the satin strands and blowing them about her face.**

 **"Is this what you wanted?" she murmured, smiling seductively.**

 **His mouth falling open in total awe, Adam lost his breath for the second time that day. A raven goddess stood before him and she belonged to him and him alone. He drew her near, tangling his fingers in her perfumed crowning glory and kissing her with a hunger that burned deep in the core of his soul. But he could never take advantage of her trust. He stepped away with reluctance and smiled cheekily.**

 **"Give me five hours. Then we'll be all alone and free to be ourselves."**

 **Evangeline searched his face, saw the stubbornness in the set of his jaw and the furrow of his brow...and she nodded, moving into him and wrapping her arms around his waist. "I adore you, husband," she breathed, burying her head in his shoulder.**

 **Tears watering his eyes again, Adam cupped the back of her head tenderly. "Five hours. All I ask." He steered her back towards the buggy and after she was seated, he took up the reins. Regarding her as she put up her hair again, he forced himself to concentrate on driving and felt her sidle up close, lacing her arms through his right one. He sighed with a little frustration. This was going to be a very long five hours.**

 **I* * * * *I ;;  
**

 **Hanging onto Adam's arm, never breaking contact, Evangeline managed to enjoy the reception thrown in their honor at the Ponderosa. After so many months of holding her feelings inside, she felt a desperation that couldn't be explained. She couldn't stop touching him...laughing with him...she felt intoxicated even though she hadn't had a drop of alcohol. On the other hand, she was overwhelmed by the night stretching out before her and that too drove her to remain close into his side during the next few hours. The food was delicious that had been prepared by Hop Sing and she was able to eat more than she thought possible.**

 **When the meal was over, the great room was cleared of tables for dancing and Adam took his bride onto the floor amid the sound of gentle applause. The orchestra begin a slow waltz as he gathered her to his body, not allowing a sliver of light to be seen between them. Evangeline draped an arm over Adam's back, cupping the back of his neck, and placed her right hand in his left one. Swaying gently back and forth, their joined hands close to their chins, they stared into one another's eyes until the outside world faded away. Numerous couples danced past, laughing and talking, but that distraction went unnoticed. Dance after dance, waltz after waltz, drew on and soon time had escaped from the day's grasp. Only when the music ended, the couples breaking apart to clap in appreciation, did Adam break his embrace. The grandfather clock chimed the hour and he rotated his eyes to see the placement of the timepiece.**

 **"It's time. Are you ready to leave, wife?" he murmured with a grin.**

 **Evangeline smiled up at him and ran her hands down his arms to grasp his hands. "You know that I am. Let's go home."**

 **"I need to find my family...do you want to say your goodbyes to your father and then we'll meet at the door to bid farewell to everyone at once?"**

 **"Sounds like a plan..." Evangeline drew away, her arm stretching out until his fingers slipped from his hand. "Missing you already...don't be long, my darling...I have plans for you..."**

 **Adam chuckled, a small shiver running up his backbone as he went to find his father and brothers. Ben saw him coming and they all slipped into the office to say goodbye. Sadness coupled with happiness was in each of the Cartwright men's faces as they suddenly felt awkward, shifting restlessly under each other's gazes.**

 **"Well, guess it's time for you both to be off, Son," Ben said uncertainly, dithering before pulling his eldest into a hug. Pulling away, he placed an envelope in Adam's hand. "This is my gift to you. It's not much but something to look forward to perhaps. It is a two-month long trip to Boston for three...you, Angie and Jody. A vacation will do you good when you all are ready."**

 **Adam met his father's watery gaze and smiled, squeezing Ben's shoulder. "Thank you, Pa, for taking care of Jody this next week and, well,...for everything else." Adam turned to his brothers. "Well, men, this is it I guess. You two behave yourselves and try to stay out of trouble. I'll be around regularly to get reports from Hop Sing."**

 **"Don't bother," Joe croaked, trying to keep his tears from spilling over, "I promise to not be such a loose cannon...at least for a little while."**

 **A chuckle came from Adam's chest, despite the feeling that his heart was being ripped out. "That's all I ask, younger brother. Always be yourself and don't let anyone tell you different. Got it?"**

 **Joe could only nod as he was wrapped in a warm hug and his back clapped hard by his oldest brother, the man who had helped raise him, had served as his role model every single day during childhood and into adulthood. Joe couldn't speak and turned away, putting a hand over his mouth while Adam turned to Hoss.**

 **"Hoss...I, don't know what to say. You've always been around and I'll miss you...more than I can stand sometimes. Take care of yourself, brother. I'm there for all of you, whenever you may need me. Only say the word."**

 **Taking the initiative, Hoss gripped Adam's shoulders and crushed him close. "Be happy, brother."**

 **"I intend to," Adam smiled, "Same goes for you."**

 **Hoss drew back and fished for something out of his vest pocket. He produced a small, white paper roll, tied with a satin blue ribbon. Giving the roll over to Adam, he shrugged and shoved his hands in the front pockets of his pants. "Joe and I bought you a mare for your wedding present. A purebred thoroughbred to breed with that wild stallion of yours. Should make some mighty fine colts. You'll find her in the barn, along with a matching bridle and saddle. She's saddle-broke so we thought you'd like the whole package. You know, a fine mount for Angie's enjoyment."**

 **Adam was struck speechless as he glanced from beloved brother to beloved brother, neither more treasured than the other. "I...I...don't know what to say except...I don't deserve any of this."**

 **"On the contrary," Ben interrupted, opening his arms wide to pull all three of his sons close, "You all deserve to be happy. That's everything I've ever wanted for my boys. I am so glad you have found where you belong."**

 **Extricating himself from the loving embrace, Adam took two steps back and looked from one to another of his adored family. Images of all the moments when his life had been saved by each of them flashed through his mind as he glanced from Ben...to Hoss...to Joe. "I love you all. See ya around soon, men."**

 **And with that, he was gone, walking across the room to stand behind Evangeline who turned with a smile of greeting on her face for his benefit. Slipping their arms around one another's backs, they shook the hands of those present, gave out countless thank-you's and received final well-wishes as they moved ever closer to the door.**

 **Then Jody ran into his new parents' embrace lastly, getting showered in hugs, kisses and promises that he would join them soon at The Running J. Adam said that they would be back for visits that week and, at the end, he would be staying with them forever. The little boy seemed satisfied, grinning from ear to ear, and cheering with everyone else when they left the house amid a flurry of rice cascading in torrents down on them.**

 **Shielding her face with her bouquet, Evangeline squealed and laughed along with her husband as they ran to the flower-bedecked carriage. Evangeline continued to stand in the open conveyance, even as Adam climbed in next to her. Steadying herself with a hand on his shoulder, she turned her back on the squealing maidens who were gathered together, anxiously awaiting to try and catch it. With a laugh, she let the bouquet fly over her shoulder. The flowers sailed through the air and landed squarely in Mindy Midler's hands. Blushing beet-red, the girl glanced over to Hoss who winked back.**

 **With a sigh, Evangeline sank down next to Adam, snuggling into him as the buggy jerked forward and a collective cheer went up from those left behind. The horses broke into a canter and the ranch house disappeared from view. The cool, mountain air hit her square in the face and she raised her arms high, fingers outstretched towards the blue sky. A joyful laugh came from her throat as she reveled in the beauty of the moment, of the day and of the man by her side. She felt a pressure on her knee and lowered her arms, circling them about Adam's neck. She lay her head against his throat and breathed in deeply of his spicy cologne, sighing into him.**

 **"I love you...dearest heart...oh, how I love you."**

 **Adam smiled, kissing the top of her head. As far as he was concerned, the ranch couldn't come into sight soon enough but when he drove up the drive and halted next to the porch steps, a wave of apprehension hit him, a nervous energy that he couldn't explain. He assisted her from the buggy and took her hand, drawing her up onto the porch and halted outside the door. A smile quirking up the side of his mouth, he bent to pick her up but she placed a hand on his chest, shaking her head. She stepped away, slipping her hands into his outstretched ones. "Come, let's step in together...as one body. Please, darling? I want this to be a symbol you can remember. That I am carrying your burdens just as much as you are carrying mine. We are one soul now, one mind and let's start our life together as one entity."**

 **A queer smile spreading outward on his face, Adam inclined his head in silent agreement. Taking her hand, he drew her to his side, opened the door and together, they took one large jump over the threshold, into their new home. Spontaneous giggles erupted between them at their own silliness.**

 **While he took care of the horses and retrieved the two small satchels from the buggy that would be needed for their first night, Evangeline drifted into the middle of the living room, where only hours before the entire family had been gathered. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, remembering the voices even still while relishing the peace and quiet that washed over her like the purest mountain stream. So long she had waited to call a man her own and a house to be her home with him. Now, she had both and she was overwhelmed by the enormity of her good fortune. She didn't know how long she had stood there but when she heard footsteps on the porch and the front door opening quietly, she turned around.**

 **"Well, isn't this a sight for sore eyes?" Adam chuckled happily, delighted at the sight of his bride standing before him. He set the satchels on the rug and came toward her, uncertainty coming to his eyes. "So...what do we do now, my love? Are you hungry perhaps? Or thirsty?"**

 **Evangeline let her eyes travel up and down his body before meeting his gaze again. She smiled shyly, feeling self-conscious and toying with her skirt's layers to smooth away invisible wrinkles. "I...I don't think I am hungry...or thirsty. At least...not for food. Isn't there anything else we could do? An activity perhaps?"**

 **Adam's eyebrows rose into his hairline and a devilish grin spread to his cheeks, creating deep dimples. He took a step forward, swaggering into her space teasingly. "Well, uh...there's the chessboard your father gave us or...the fireplace maybe?"**

 **"It's a bit warm for that just yet. I want to do that tonight, when the sun goes down."**

 **Adam stopped in front of her and pretended to think hard, sucking in his bottom lip as his eyes searched the ceiling. Evangeline watched him, a spark of hunger igniting in her face that went unnoticed. He opened his mouth to say something else but she couldn't bear the suspense any longer. In one smooth attack, she claimed his mouth. Kissing him with hard fervor and gentling out to kiss his chin, cheekbones, nose, she rested her lips on his forehead. She felt his arms encircle her waist and leaned against him, dipping her head to lay on his shoulder.**

 **"I know one thing I have wanted to do but never had the liberty as you weren't truly mine."**

 **"Oh, yeah?" Adam asked, leaning back to look into his wife's upturned face.**

 **"Yes," Evangeline breathed, "You are all mine now, Mr Cartwright, and can't get away from me...but, uh...I think that we should explore that room you didn't want to reveal yesterday."**

 **"I do believe you are right, Mrs Cartwright...lead me away to our lair," Adam smiled, a bit awed as his angel ascended up the stairs, her hand gripping his fingertips behind her back as she climbed. When they reached the top, he walked in front of her until, with a smile tugging on his lips, he turned the forbidden knob and drew her inside. The door closed behind them and the house lay deathly still, trapped in time and contented to give the lovers their sweet reward for the pain of the past.**

I* * * * *I

Drawing the drapes closed and blanketing the cozy space in duskiness, Evangeline couldn't comprehend what caused her to feel so bold or where her nervousness had fled to but her love for this man consumed her very soul. She didn't know what she was doing and she accepted that. Following her instincts, she decided to go as far as she could and let him lead her into the unknown. But first, before she relinquished control, she wanted to prove her adoration for him and to expel what demons were left in his person. She loved him too much to leave a trickle of doubt in his mind that she didn't know what she was getting in a husband and who he really was. For he was a magnificent creature, beautiful and sinewed with muscle, a heart of gold beating in his chest and he possessed the face to match his intelligence.

Adam lit a lamp by the bed and the flickering light sent sparkles of gold tinkling into his hazel irises, making them burn with life. His lips parted and his face was questioning as she rustled close to him, placing her hands on his chest and firmly pushing him backwards to lean against the bedroom wall. She drew him into a kiss, one that left him speechless as he witnessed the fierce determination on her face. Her fingers worked diligently at the eight buttons of his tailcoat and the flaps soon fell open. Slowly sliding her hands under the collar and around his neck, she slipped the thick fabric from his broad shoulders. The coat was carefully put over the back of a chair before she set to work on his cravat and then his white dress shirt which took even less time. Pulling the shirttails from his trousers and unbuttoning the few pearl buttons down the front, she drew the soft silk aside and let it fall from his body. Reaching up hungrily, she probed his lips with her own, seeking to be admitted into that cavern of pleasures to be had. He responded fervently and began to take her into his arms again but she pushed him back against the wall again, forcing his hands away.

"Let me show you how much I care, my precious darling..."

"But, I..."

"Shhhh," Evangeline whispered in his ear, tracing a finger over his lips, "Let me do this for you...then you can do what you want after I finish."

Content in that promise for he couldn't wait to unwrap his own present, Adam tried to relax as she guided him to lay on the bed and roll over to his stomach. She climbed onto the bed carefully, letting her dress pillow around her as she settled by his side and catching her breath as she stared down at him in complete awe. He was all hers and would always be...this moment was unreal and couldn't possibly be happening to her. He waited silently, his sweet face turned away and she took a moment to run a hand over his shoulders, outlining the rounded angles of his shoulder blades and dipping lower to trace the middle furrow defining the musculature of his lower back. Her hands stopped at his belt though, hesitated and then moved back up to grasp the warm muscles by his neck. A low groan rumbled from his body and vibrated under her fingers as she began to leisurely massage his shoulders to help him relax further. After that area was finished, she worked her hands down the length of each limp arm, paying special attention to the fine bones of his wrists and the sculpture of his gentle fingers. Her heart sang and tears pricked her eyes from unbridled joy as she raised each wrist in turn to kiss the underside, tracing the blue veins with her lips and feeling the heat emanating from the blood running so close to the surface of the tender skin. Her eyes closing and a tear escaping down her cheek, she shuddered to think of the raw and infected rope burns that he had described the night before. The thought of this exquisite flesh being broken and bleeding was too excruciating for her to comprehend as she continued on before she succumbed to the pain of it all.

In a floating world, Adam was in total bliss. He felt terribly selfish but the more he felt her soft hands on his body, the more he was getting impassioned and loving every minute of her ministrations. He smiled, exhaling ever so slowly in a long sigh until there wasn't one ounce of air left in his lungs...and then he breathed in again until he thought he would burst. A spontaneous shiver ripped through his body and he heard Evangeline's soft laughter. Her face appeared on his shoulder and her lips found his ear, suckling gently and eliciting another moan from him.

"Relaxed yet?"

"Mmmmm...hmmm," Adam managed to grunt, his eyes closed and he felt sleep beckoning. Struggling to get his muscles working, he rolled over and reached up to rub a thumb against her cheek. She placed a hand over his and turned her face into his touch. He thought she would speak but only a look of admiration remained, radiating from her peaceful face as she watched him intently.

"To say 'thank you' seems so inadequate, my love" Adam admitted, rising onto an elbow to be closer to her, "So that was what you always wanted to do then? Not that I'm not completely enthralled but, you've given me two massages before...is that all you wished to do for such a long time, as you said?"

"No. This is," she replied suddenly, gathering her skirts to allow her movement as she straddled his knees. His legs were captured and pinned under the heavy layers of her dress as the train poofed out around her. Leaning down to kiss him, she sought his mouth and then nibbled on his chin, the vulnerable skin of his throat before continuing on down to his collarbone and then looked back up into his widened eyes. "I understand now what was taken from you those years ago but your spirit has never diminished, my wild one. For each of these scars adorning your body, I want to give you a new memory. Then when you see those beauty marks, you'll see only me and my love, not the pain. At least, I hope so with all my heart. This may be a romantic hope on my part but I pray that I can help you heal, my darling."

"You don't have to do that, Angie. I'm fine, the way I am. You are all the balm I need," Adam smiled kindly, shaking his head and trying to sit up.

Evangeline placed her hands on his shoulders and held him still. "Look at me, Adam. I meant what I said earlier in this day. 'You are the sun around which my world revolves and I will do my utmost to help you shine as bright as I know you do...can...and will.' I am starting now. Lie back...close your eyes...and feel. That's all...feel my love..."

She watched until he did as she asked and then she touched her fingers to his stomach and felt him inhale sharply. Briefly running her fingertips through the short curls adorning his chest, she found the first of her targets; a jagged pale circle set about three inches from his navel. The skin was indented and wrinkled, soft yet tough to the touch and a testament to the pain that must have been associated with this symbol of suffering. Slipping her hands along his sides, she burrowed them under his lower back to clasp firmly, holding him in place as her mouth was brought to within a breath of the puckered, bare, pink scar contrasted by smooth, tan skin. She could feel Adam suck in his breath in one gulp, his belly tightening as she closed her mouth over the circle. Isolating the memory of pain inside and sealing it, she placed the tip of her tongue within the indentation and traced a ring of fire along the uneven, mangled edges.

To Adam's shocked mind, this experience became unreal, opening up the locked doors of memory that he thought he had forgotten...Of an incident when he had been gutshot, Cochise's band of warriors pinning down the Cartwright family for a full day. _Indians...he needed to get water...canteen...sneaked away...an explosion...horrific pain in his side...the ground hurdling into his face...Joe calling his name and then he was lifted into the air by his youngest brother...with each of Joe's steps, a crash of pain cascaded through his tortured body and he wanted to scream but refused, willing himself to let Joe get them both to safety...only when the wound was probed did he let loose with a cry of torment dying in his throat. Then he had lost consciousness..._

One by one, Adam felt his wife trace each of his scars with her mouth and with each tender caress, memories were reignited by her care. When he was asked to turn over, back onto his stomach, he did so and without argument or speech. He merely turned over, felt her hands slip under his belly and then she was caressing the adornment of discolorations on his back.

Emotions never felt before flooded through Evangeline as she showered her new husband with the tenderness he had craved but never received throughout his lifetime. Tears coursed silently down her face, pain filling her heart as she caressed away the memories of agonies experienced in the past. She continued on until one of the last wrinkled scars came under her touch. Her fingers brushed over the few wide stripes that must have been deep gashes at one point and were visible on his left shoulder blade. She had to ask.

"Did...he...do these to you, my love? Tell me, please."

Knowing instantly of what she spoke of, Adam winced at that memory, once again feeling the hard crack of Kane's belt upon his burning back. He nodded almost imperceptibly but couldn't bring himself to speak. He couldn't contain the single, catching sob in his chest when he felt her leaving kisses along each dark shadow of the bloody welts once felt long before and now healed. He felt a great emptiness when she completed her task and left him alone on the bed. She settled next to him on her back, her hands folded at her waist and her dress spilling off to the side. He turned into her and they lay silent, staring into the other's eyes. In truth, neither could find the words to adequately describe the peace floating between them.

At length, both seemed to know the time was right. Pulling her to lie beneath his bare chest, Adam began kissing her. Gasps drifted into the air as she was pleasured by his lips teething her throat with the greatest of care. Drawing her to stand, he watched her from under hooded eyelids as he unclipped her hair and let it fall free...then he began to undress her.

A blush came to her cheeks as first her dress slumped to the floor and then he took her into his arms, lavishing her trembling body with fervent kisses as he undid her corset, removed her petticoats and paused before lifting the lace chemise over her head. Speechless was how she remained, keeping her gaze on his face as he stripped away the last items of clothing that kept him from possessing her entirely. Taking a few precious seconds to do the same to himself, he caught her up in his arms and they fell onto the bed in a tangle of arms and legs, their laughter sobering quickly.

Never fully understanding what other women meant by "being one with a man", Evangeline felt sudden fear as she was transformed into her husband's image but then rejoiced when he appeared to be more than pleased by her. For that was all she wanted, to be satisfactory to him. However, the words of adoration he continually uttered in her ears went far beyond anything she could have hoped for and when their combined love had reached a level of no return, her salty tears mixed with his as months of frustration, worry and pain...faded into nothing during that special time of sated quiet after pleasures had been exchanged, exalted in and then released into their souls from whence it came.

Lying in her husband's arms afterwards, Evangeline burrowed into his chest further, never feeling so serene in her life. Cradling the side of his face in her hand, she couldn't help kissing the tiny scar above his upper lip, the last of its kind to receive her attentions. He smiled sleepily, blinking as he fought sleep. She shivered as his hand fanned out over her hip and moved up to wrap about her waist, pulling her slender body even closer into his bulk. Tears ran down her cheeks as she buried her face in his neck, wrapping him close in her arms.

"Did I make you happy?" Adam asked with concern, still afraid that his selfishness at the beginning had hurt her feelings somehow. A pang of hopeless regret twinged his heart as he smoothed her damp tresses from her face. "You, my darling, are all the world to me. Tell me if I hurt you in some way...if I did, I don't know how to say how sorry I am."

"Oh, sweet one," she whimpered, sobbing as she clung to him, "You never see it, do you?"

"See what, dear heart?" he asked, tightening his grip on her as he anxiously waited for something he thought he would be loathed to hear.

She looked up into his eyes and hers were sparkling. "You are so beautiful. So very...beautiful...and you are mine. All mine. Don't you know how that makes me feel? I feel like screaming to the world that I am your wife!"

"Oh, darling, I love you so much," Adam gasped, kissing her as his need grew for a more quiet joining of their desires. This time was even more gentle and sweet as is often the case of second helpings in such acts of love. Something in the subtle adoration made for more satisfaction and when he made her his property once again, his name was ripped from her throat in a desperate scream that echoed in the still house.

 **So tired they were afterward, sleep claimed them both almost immediately. Adam was asleep first, facing the ceiling, his darkened arms around her creamy shoulders as she pillowed her head on his deep chest and her hair fanned out over her back. She was proud of herself as she joined his dreams...that second time, there had been a noble bearing and confidence in his manner that spoke of an increased amount of self-worth. As she watched his chest rise and fall with a hypnotic regularity, there wasn't anything she felt afraid of just then...except losing him.**

 **I* * * * *I**

 **Hours passed and not a stir from the occupants on the bed until Adam opened his eyes, his face scrunching with confusion as he momentarily forgot where he was. Then he felt a slight stirring against his side and he wanted to weep for joy. Evangeline's forehead furrowed with distaste when he carefully extricated himself from her embrace and rose slowly. She stretched languidly and reclined back against the pillows again, clutching the quilt tighter to make up for the loss of his body heat. Leaning down to kiss her cheek and tuck the warmth around her shoulders, he wrapped himself in a handy wool blanket and left the blackened room after snuffing out the light.**

 **Tip-toeing down the stairs, he found the satchels still by the door where they had been left. Quickly finding his blue robe to put on, he did so and felt warmed almost immediately. Tying the sash securely about his waist, he rubbed his face to renew some life into it. Setting the coffee pot on to boil, he shuffled around the kitchen, running a hand through his tousled hair as he fumbled in the cupboards to find a cup and then in all the drawers until his fingers found a spoon. He soon was able to pour himself a steaming cup of the black liquid and moved into the foyer to step outside, closing the door quietly.**

 **The sun was in full bloom, setting behind the mountains and turning the lake a most breathtaking shade of purple. Adam grinned to himself, leaning an arm against the porch post as he brought the coffee cup to his pursed lips. A deep sigh disappeared on the gentle breeze as he surveyed his kingdom like so many kings and men of noble blood had done for centuries before him...**

 **I* * * * *I**

 **A frown crossed Evangeline's lovely face as she reached out for her husband in the dark but was only met with lukewarm sheets where his heated body should have been resting. She sat bolt upright and threw off the covers. She shivered while ripping the quilt from the bed and throwing it around herself as she pattered down the stairs in her bare feet.**

 **"Darling? Where are you?" she called softly into the darkness**

 **"Out here..." came the gentle, richly toned reply from outside the living room window.**

 **She gave a sigh of relief as she went out onto the porch and leaned against the doorframe, eyeing him appreciatively. "My, but I do like that robe, mister."**

 **Adam chuckled as she sat next to him and he wrapped an arm about her frame. Kissing her deeply, he laid her head upon his shoulder. "Why aren't you sleeping? I didn't wake you, did I, my love?"**

 **"No. I woke up and you weren't there. Why didn't you stay in bed?"**

 **"Too happy to waste time sleeping," Adam grinned, his thumb caressing the soft skin of her shoulder that peeked out from over the quilt shielding her from view. Sitting up so that he could hover near, he lowered his voice to a husky tone, "You are so stunning...I know that I am the envy of all the men in this district. Your hair is so soft and...silky..."**

 **Evangeline giggled quietly as he tangled one hand in her locks. "Oh, you are only saying that. I have to look a sight after our time together earlier. You are very talented at ruffling my hair to all angles."**

 **Adam grinned mischievously, holding her as they sat watching the sun and sharing his cup of coffee between them. When the night had grown too cold, they retreated inside to light a fire. Sitting in front of the flames with his love, Adam suddenly remembered what he needed to go find among their luggage. Leaving her to warm up, he retrieved a package of cheese, a box of crackers, a bottle of champagne and the rectangular suitcase which contained his gifts for her. Lowering himself down across from her, he set the suitcase down and then he worked at pouring the iced champagne, left cooling in the icebox since that morning. Evangeline watched intently and took the proffered glass from his hand.**

 **"To my wonderful husband...may I always be worthy of your extraordinary ways to make me feel wanted and loved like never before."**

 **"To my beloved wife, more woman than I ever deserved or dreamed of," Adam grinned, clinking his glass against hers and taking a sip from his glass as she did the same. A bead of champagne missed her mouth and trickled down her chin. He leaned forward and kissed it into oblivion, moaning as he tasted it. Drawing away from her, he stared into her eyes and found desire there. But however much he wanted to whisk her away to their paradise upstairs, he remembered his promise to her...that he would sit for a time in front of their fireplace for a bit on the night of their wedding.**

 **"I have something for you, my dear, and a story besides," he said, reaching for the suitcase and opening the lid.**

 **"Oh, Adam, what a beautiful shawl!" Evangeline exclaimed, gently taking the proffered garment and holding it up in front of her to examine. "Thank you so very much but...you really shouldn't have. You are the only present I will ever need."**

 **"I disagree, darling. I want to give you everything you so richly deserve."**

 **"Well, keep this up much longer and I'll be spoiled rotten and no good to you whatsoever," she laughed, allowing the blanket to fall to her waist as she drew the corners of the shawl about her shoulders and leaned against him, snuggling into his shoulder.**

 **Adam's eyes darkened as he held her loosely in his embrace. "My mother gave me that...along with the coat I was wearing for the ceremony."**

 **"What?" Evangeline asked in surprise, raising her head to look inquisitively into his face. "What do you mean?"**

 **"Pa came up to my room while I was getting ready and he had a package with him. In it were the two garments and he explained that she had sewn them both during the couple of months before my birth. Her intention had been for us to wear the two gifts on our wedding day."**

 **"How incredibly special...I am so happy for you and thankful to your mother. The love that I experienced earlier was so intense and if that is what may create life within my body at some point, then I can only imagine how much pleasure she had to have felt when you were conceived, sweet darling. She loved you so much...although I compete for the title of who loves you most."**

 **"You needn't feel you have to compete. There's more than enough room for both of you in my heart," Adam grinned, raising one of her hands to his lips. "Are you...are you worried about a child now though? Now that you know what may happen if we continue? I can stop if you want me to."**

 **Evangeline shook her head vigorously. "On the contrary, I want to make you happy and bringing your child into the world is the reason I was born. I can feel that in my bones. You are my entire reason for existence and why shouldn't I want to give you the greatest gift that a woman can bestow on a man? Far from stopping, I want you to continue for as long as you like which I hope is regularly throughout our marriage. Hopefully, when I'm old, fat and covered in wrinkles, you will still want to kiss me."**

 **A throaty chuckle rumbled from his chest as he took her in his arms and laid her on her back, propping up on an elbow to watch her creamy face. "You will never be such things but, even by some transformation, you did become more matronly as you get older, I couldn't care less. I love you and I love your beautiful body, no matter what it may look like. You are as graceful as a deer and as soft as a new bed of snow on a winter's morning. I love you, Evangeline Cartwright."**

As he tugged at the shawl to release it from her shoulders, she leaned her head back, arching her back in ecstasy as he brushed her hair aside to expose the sensitive skin of her throat. His kisses that followed were hard, almost frightening if done by anyone else but his gentleness was unmatched as she slipped her hands into his robe, clutching his back strongly and whispering his name on short breathes. Conversation was over as the firelight flickered over bare bodies giving one another pleasure, their sighs and groans mixing with the snap and crackle of the flames warming their flesh. **For the third time that evening, his angel willingly gave herself up to what her wild one had to offer. And as they fell asleep again, tangled in the folds of the quilt, no greater love had been known than that of the slumbering lovers, exhausted from proving their love and exalted in knowing that they were truly one flesh in mind and body. Their spirits reclined side by side in the darkness of night, a proud black stallion rearing his majestic head and galloping into the night, followed by a white mare with a black mane and tail, her whinnies echoing into the wind.**

 **In the heavens, each of three feminine entities, clothed in shining brightness, turned to the others with tears in her eyes before their eyes focused on the man sleeping with his love held tight against him. In turn, each entity pressed her mouth to inbetween his dark eyebrows and smiled as they looked upon the woman's sleeping face. Each kissing her forehead as well then the smallest of the group beckoned her companions back to the outer reaches of the galaxy but didn't follow until she had whispered these words into his ear.**

 **"I give up my right to you, my beloved baby...you are safe with her. I can trust her to nurture you and to watch over you, all the days of your life. I will still be here but unneeded as your life moves on. Enjoy your life and know that I wait for you with open arms when your time comes. Though I can't wait to hold you close, I wait patiently. I love you, sweetness..."**

 **Adam stirred restlessly as the surreal voice trickled into his unconsciousness. Waking momentarily, he noticed that Evangeline was still sound asleep so he didn't know whose had been that woman's voice. Perhaps only a dream. Reaching out carefully to find the white shawl, he drew it over Evangeline's shoulders and his chest, covering them both in the love of his mother as he sighed back into oblivion.**

 **He was home and home he would stay.**

I* * * * *I

 _I am sad to be finished but also am looking forward to new projects in the future, such as a prequel story I will be working on that will explain some more of how our favorite lovers met. But until then, I shall bid you all goodbye until next time. Without your support and wonderful comments, I would never have made it this far or finished this epic tale. When I started the series with "_ _ **Smoke Rings In The Dark**_ _", I had no idea that I would end up accomplishing this much but I have, so thank you!_


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